(The first self-induced double KO since Hamill vs. Munoz, everybody. Gif courtesy of @ZProphet_MMA.)
While attending a charity boxing event yesterday — the cleverly dubbed “Haymakers for Hope” — my roommate and I got into a discussion about what ethnic and geographic backgrounds could be combined to make the “perfect” boxer, or MMA fighter for that matter. It was basically a hypothetical game of Racist Transformers, but is it really racist if it’s both hypothetical and rooted in positive stereotypes? I digress.
In any case, we both agreed that a Russian component would have to be in the mix somehow. While my roommate argued that a Russian-born Irishman raised in Brazil would make for a true “Ultimate Fighter” (which, considering what the average trip to the gas station can be like down there, is a sound choice), I believed a Brazilian-born Samoan raised in the desolate, hopeless tundras of Mother Russia would surely become the undefeatable killing machine prophesied in the before times. “All Russians know is despair,” I said. “And that makes them stronger.”
Last night’s ProFC 50 bout between Boris Miroshnichenko and Herman Yakubov both confirmed and denied my suspicions about the Russian people. While Yakubov, a Russian, was KO’d in the first round by his Belarusian counterpart, he also made sure to knock himself out again with his own knee on the way down, lawn chair style, and a third time when his head hit the canvas — as if to say, “Although you have damaged me, comrade, know that your damage holds not a candle to those wrought by my own devices. For what is life but the prolonging of inevitable death? And what is death, if not a face at peace…”
(The first self-induced double KO since Hamill vs. Munoz, everybody. Gif courtesy of @ZProphet_MMA.)
While attending a charity boxing event yesterday — the cleverly dubbed “Haymakers for Hope” — my roommate and I got into a discussion about what ethnic and geographic backgrounds could be combined to make the “perfect” boxer, or MMA fighter for that matter. It was basically a hypothetical game of Racist Transformers, but is it really racist if it’s both hypothetical and rooted in positive stereotypes? I digress.
In any case, we both agreed that a Russian component would have to be in the mix somehow. While my roommate argued that a Russian-born Irishman raised in Brazil would make for a true “Ultimate Fighter” (which, considering what the average trip to the gas station can be like down there, is a sound choice), I believed a Brazilian-born Samoan raised in the desolate, hopeless tundras of Mother Russia would surely become the undefeatable killing machine prophesied in the before times. “All Russians know is despair,” I said. “And that makes them stronger.”
Last night’s ProFC 50 bout between Boris Miroshnichenko and Herman Yakubov both confirmed and denied my suspicions about the Russian people. While Yakubov, a Russian, was KO’d in the first round by his Belarusian counterpart, he also made sure to knock himself out again with his own knee on the way down, lawn chair style, and a third time when his head hit the canvas — as if to say, “Although you have damaged me, comrade, know that your damage holds not a candle to those wrought by my own devices. For what is life but the prolonging of inevitable death? And what is death, if not a face at peace…”
According to multiple reports, the UFC has recently signed undefeated Russian striker Alexandra “Stitch” Albu to their ever-growing bantamweight roster. Who is Alexandra Albu, you ask? That is a very, very good question.
Although we weren’t able to find her actual MMA record anywhere in the world fight indexes, Albu is allegedly a 5-0 bantamweight with 4 first round knockouts and a first round submission to her credit. Additionally, Albu is (allegedly) a black belt in karate, a Moscow Cup-earning power lifter, a judoka and one of Russia’s top Crossfit competitors. We also gave her five out of five Schwings on the Wayne’s World Scale of Hotness, which makes the UFC’s decision to sign her all the more transparent. Not that we’re complaining.
Check out our favorite photos of Albu in the gallery above, as well as a couple videos of her in action after the jump, then fill us in on anything you can find about this woman in the comments section.
According to multiple reports, the UFC has recently signed undefeated Russian striker Alexandra “Stitch” Albu to their ever-growing bantamweight roster. Who is Alexandra Albu, you ask? That is a very, very good question.
Although we weren’t able to find her actual MMA record anywhere in the world fight indexes, Albu is allegedly a 5-0 bantamweight with 4 first round knockouts and a first round submission to her credit. Additionally, Albu is (allegedly) a black belt in karate, a Moscow Cup-earning power lifter, a judoka and one of Russia’s top Crossfit competitors. We also gave her five out of five Schwings on the Wayne’s World Scale of Hotness, which makes the UFC’s decision to sign her all the more transparent. Not that we’re complaining.
Check out our favorite photos of Albu in the gallery below, as well as a couple videos of her in action after the jump, then fill us in on anything you can find about this woman in the comments section.
Albu training in Phuket, Thailand
Albu beating the shit out of Pankration Champion Lyubov Demidova
(A major pat on the back is in order for our buddies over at MiddleEasy, who unearthed this gem yesterday.)
As we have learned, all Russians are trained sleeper cell assassins simply waiting to be activated, capable of unleashing the fury of an entire suppressed nation on a moment’s notice. As such, the above video of a random audience member volunteering to fight Russian Wolverine with zero prep time and subsequently knocking him the fuck out should not come as all that great a surprise to us. Nor should the fact that the fight was held in a sand-based ring strung together with old farm rope and was reffed by a guy rocking one of Mac’s custom made sleeveless shirts.
And of course, people are already crying foul, forgetting that 1) Russians don’t throw fights at the risk of banishment and 2) People don’t usually agree to get absolutely starched in a work. THIS is what a work looks like, and THIS is what it looks like when a random dude is picked from the audience and winds up kicking a fighter’s ass. Clearly, the above fight falls into the latter category.
While you’re busy debating this video’s merit, let’s kick it over to Sandy Abramov, who is here to offer us some tips about how to keep cool in the blistering Russian sun-OH MY GOD…
(A major pat on the back is in order for our buddies over at MiddleEasy, who unearthed this gem yesterday.)
As we have learned, all Russians are trained sleeper cell assassins simply waiting to be activated, capable of unleashing the fury of an entire suppressed nation on a moment’s notice. As such, the above video of a random audience member volunteering to fight Russian Wolverine with zero prep time and subsequently knocking him the fuck out should not come as all that great a surprise to us. Nor should the fact that the fight was held in a sand-based ring strung together with old farm rope and was reffed by a guy rocking one of Mac’s custom made sleeveless shirts.
And of course, people are already crying foul, forgetting that 1) Russians don’t throw fights at the risk of banishment and 2) People don’t usually agree to get absolutely starched in a work. THIS is what a work looks like, and THIS is what it looks like when a random dude is picked from the audience and winds up kicking a fighter’s ass. Clearly, the above fight falls into the latter category.
While you’re busy debating this video’s merit, let’s kick it over to Sandy Abramov, who is here to offer us some tips about how to keep cool in the blistering Russian sun-OH MY GOD…
Yep, that’s a massive Russian military hovercraft plowing into an unsuspecting crowd of beach goers yesterday. To be fair, dash cam footage asserts that Russia is basically an anarchistic cambrian wasteland, so maybe these people had it coming, thinking they could just GO OUT TO THE BEACH without a meteor descending from space or a Graboid threatening to swallow them whole. The gall of some people.
The recently-unretiredAleksander Emelianenko made his return to MMA Saturday night in Moscow against Bob Sapp, and if the fighter introductions, stare-down, and instructions didn’t last longer than the actual fight, they were certainly more exciting. First, the good news. Aleks appears to be doing more sit ups and less shaving than ever before, resulting in an epic monastery beard and less gut than the Emelianenko family has collectively seen in twenty years.
And in the good news/bad news category, depending on your perspective, Bob Sapp is still putting food on his presumably massive plate. While that’s good for “The Beast,” it’s not so great for fans of legitimate MMA fights, since Sapp’s preferred method of making money in recent years is to take apparent dives against whomever he is matched up against. To his credit, Sapp actually threw some strikes and attempted some clinch work this time around, and Aleksander actually had to land multiple solid shots before Sapp assumed the fetal position. Once there, Sapp didn’t even tap out; the referee stepped in to stop the pathetic mismatch/collusion.
Following the stoppage, the Russian helped his opponent up and they talked to one another. Then they kept on talking. Lots of talking between these two. Glad we got to witness these friends catch up.
Anyway, that’s Sapp’s eleventh consecutive “loss” and his fourteenth out of his last fifteen bouts. Aleks got back on the winning track after getting choked out by Jeff Monson in his previous bout.
The recently-unretiredAleksander Emelianenko made his return to MMA Saturday night in Moscow against Bob Sapp, and if the fighter introductions, stare-down, and instructions didn’t last longer than the actual fight, they were certainly more exciting. First, the good news. Aleks appears to be doing more sit ups and less shaving than ever before, resulting in an epic monastery beard and less gut than the Emelianenko family has collectively seen in twenty years.
And in the good news/bad news category, depending on your perspective, Bob Sapp is still putting food on his presumably massive plate. While that’s good for “The Beast,” it’s not so great for fans of legitimate MMA fights, since Sapp’s preferred method of making money in recent years is to take apparent dives against whomever he is matched up against. To his credit, Sapp actually threw some strikes and attempted some clinch work this time around, and Aleksander actually had to land multiple solid shots before Sapp assumed the fetal position. Once there, Sapp didn’t even tap out; the referee stepped in to stop the pathetic mismatch/collusion.
Following the stoppage, the Russian helped his opponent up and they talked to one another. Then they kept on talking. Lots of talking between these two. Glad we got to witness these friends catch up.
Anyway, that’s Sapp’s eleventh consecutive “loss” and his fourteenth out of his last fifteen bouts. Aleks got back on the winning track after getting choked out by Jeff Monson in his previous bout.
