Tag: Seth vs. Jared

Seth vs. Jared: UFC 175 Edition


(Undercard fighter or ESPN personality? – it’s a surprisingly difficult game. Photo courtesy of Stuart Scott’s Twitter.)

CP staff writers Jared Jones and Seth Falvo have a few bones to pick with this weekend’s UFC 175: Weidman vs. Machida card. Mainly, its non-existent advertising, lack of good underdog bets, and blatant bait-and-switch tactics regarding its FS1 prelims. Read along to understand what it’s like to watch two grown-ass men slowly march down the path of insanity.

Al Bundy gifs will reign.

Despite being just one day out from the biggest UFC event of the summer, the hype surrounding this card seems non-existent. Have you even seen an advertisement for this event that didn’t take place during a lesser UFC card? The UFC can’t possibly believe that this is adequate advertising…can they?

SF: Buddy, I haven’t seen a single advertisement for this card, period. What, did you really think I’d be one of the nine people who watched UFC Ultimate Step to This Never Back Down: Live from New Zealand?

As for whether or not this is adequate advertising, you’re missing the point entirely. The public isn’t burnt out from a lack of advertising efforts, they’re burnt out from constant exposure to generic cards composed of completely meaningless fights.

JJ: I already touched on the complete lack of advertising for this card in my UFC 175 fight hype article on Wednesday, so I’ll (try to) be brief. While I’d personally rather see no advertising at all for a UFC event than be repeatedly subjected to the music of Linkin Park, I must admit that the UFC’s decision to not advertise a card with two title fights (two!) is a bit puzzling. I mean, sure, one of them is a Japanese freak show-level squash match, but still, UFC 175 has a lot more to offer from a marketing standpoint than several cards prior.

Honestly, I’m starting to thinking Dana’s barely beneath the surface hatred for MMA fans with discernable taste is starting to affect his business decisions. He’s gone from trying to convince us that every fight is of the same quality, no matter how blatant a lie he must craft, to simply trolling us with his “Fuck You, Take It” understanding of how to advertise his product. “You say no one cares about little flyweights? Beat them over the head with ads. A double title fight card? PULL ALL SPONSORS.”

My point is, the UFC no longer cares about advertising, because they no longer care about the quality of the cards they expect us to pay $60 for. They’re just going to keep doing their thing while reiterating that business is in fact “booming” and barely pausing to consider that their customers might actually be right every now and again. It’s a brilliant business strategy if you’ve never learned a thing about how a business is run.

This has gotten off to a depressing start.


(Undercard fighter or ESPN personality? – it’s a surprisingly difficult game. Photo courtesy of Stuart Scott’s Twitter.)

CP staff writers Jared Jones and Seth Falvo have a few bones to pick with this weekend’s UFC 175: Weidman vs. Machida card. Mainly, its non-existent advertising, lack of good underdog bets, and blatant bait-and-switch tactics regarding its FS1 prelims. Read along to understand what it’s like to watch two grown-ass men slowly march down the path of insanity.

Al Bundy gifs will reign.

Despite being just one day out from the biggest UFC event of the summer, the hype surrounding this card seems non-existent. Have you even seen an advertisement for this event that didn’t take place during a lesser UFC card? The UFC can’t possibly believe that this is adequate advertising…can they?

SF: Buddy, I haven’t seen a single advertisement for this card, period. What, did you really think I’d be one of the nine people who watched UFC Ultimate Step to This Never Back Down: Live from New Zealand?

As for whether or not this is adequate advertising, you’re missing the point entirely. The public isn’t burnt out from a lack of advertising efforts, they’re burnt out from constant exposure to generic cards composed of completely meaningless fights.

JJ: I already touched on the complete lack of advertising for this card in my UFC 175 fight hype article on Wednesday, so I’ll (try to) be brief. While I’d personally rather see no advertising at all for a UFC event than be repeatedly subjected to the music of Linkin Park, I must admit that the UFC’s decision to not advertise a card with two title fights (two!) is a bit puzzling. I mean, sure, one of them is a Japanese freak show-level squash match, but still, UFC 175 has a lot more to offer from a marketing standpoint than several cards prior.

Honestly, I’m starting to thinking Dana’s barely beneath the surface hatred for MMA fans with discernable taste is starting to affect his business decisions. He’s gone from trying to convince us that every fight is of the same quality, no matter how blatant a lie he must craft, to simply trolling us with his “Fuck You, Take It” understanding of how to advertise his product. “You say no one cares about little flyweights? Beat them over the head with ads. A double title fight card? PULL ALL SPONSORS.”

My point is, the UFC no longer cares about advertising, because they no longer care about the quality of the cards they expect us to pay $60 for. They’re just going to keep doing their thing while reiterating that business is in fact “booming” and barely pausing to consider that their customers might actually be right every now and again. It’s a brilliant business strategy if you’ve never learned a thing about how a business is run.

This has gotten off to a depressing start.

Lyoto Machida presents a very interesting matchup for Chris Weidman. If you’re looking to gamble on an underdog this weekend, is he your smartest option?

SF: A bet on Machida definitely isn’t the worst way to spend a few bucks, that’s for sure. But how about we look over the rest of the card before we call a (+155) underdog the smartest option. Let’s see…Alexis Davis and Alex Caceres are strictly “never gonna happen $5 for shiggles” picks, so they’re both out. I’m keeping my money as far away from Struve vs. Mitrione as possible, so Mitrione is out. Doane vs. Brimage is currently at pick ‘em odds, and I’ve never even heard of most of these undercard fighters. However, Urijah Hall (-450) vs. Thiago Santos (+325) is exactly the kind of underdog odds that I like, so I’m going to say that Santos is the slightly-smarter option.

Maybe the $80 I made off of Santos when he stepped into the cage as a +800 underdog against an overrated Ronny Markes in March is clouding my judgment, but I really don’t see why “Anderson Silva 3.0 (LOL)” is such a heavy favorite here. Are the oddsmakers really that impressed by the fact that the Uriah Hall who was fighting for his job after an 0-2 UFC run managed to defeat the unmotivated, fading Chris Leben who retired immediately after the fight? “Bro, Hall defeated a DISINTERESTED FADING LEGEND! Do you even know how hard that is? HE IS READY TO FACE! THE PAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNN!” No thanks. I’ll gladly throw another $10 down on Santos, which will return over twice as much money as a bet on Machida would.

JJ: Bro, Chris Leben is a *BEAST* with a granite chin and K1-level striking, bro! Seriously, bro?! BRO!!

………….

I’m sorry, I think I just had a mini aneurysm. But as far as underdogs go, I’m running into the same issue as you, in that I don’t know who enough of these guys are to place bets on them. Machida doesn’t present a good enough cashback option to warrant a bet on him, and there’s no way I’m betting on Davis or the likelihood of Stefan Struve’s heart *not* imploding (too soon?). Fuck it, I’ll go with a 20 spot on the debuting Rob Font. He’s paired up against one of the most consistently inconsistent fighters of them all in George Roop, and a quick look over his record shows that he does possess the kind of KO power to finish the always KO-able Roop.

I’d also be tempted to throw a few bills at returning TUF 17 vet Kevin Casey, who is fresh off a first round blistering of Andrew Sanchez at RFA 15 to capture the promotion’s middleweight title. Then again, the guy he’s fighting is named Bubba Bush, so yeah, he’s probably f*cked.

Obligatory:

Will the main event and “The Biggest Star We’ve Ever Had” be enough to get this year’s Fourth of July card over 500k buys?

SF: I can’t even. Al, you’re up!

JJ: Uh…it could do 500k buys if it…uh…ah screw it. Keep on dancing, Al!

Urijah Faber headlining the FS1 prelims behind Brimage vs. Doane on the card we’re supposed to pay money for is quite possibly the most blatant bait-and-switch the UFC has ever pulled. Does the UFC really lack as much respect for its fans as it seems to?

SF: I’m not sure I’d call this a bait-and-switch. I see what they’re trying to do, I just don’t think it’s going to work. By putting Urijah Faber on the preliminary card, they’re encouraging the casual fans who would otherwise skip the prelims to tune in. This boosts their dreadful FS1 ratings – by the way, I’m willing to bet Faber on Fox was more Fox’s decision than the UFC’s decision – and because the go-home show before a pay-per-view is extremely influential on buy rates, this may also encourage the dudebro tuning in for a free Faber fight to purchase the pay-per-view.

Of course, this line of thinking really falls apart once you begin to question it. For starters, how many fans do they actually think are going to tune in for the preliminaries just because Uriah Faber is fighting on the preliminaries? Call me crazy, but I firmly believe that if you actually care about preliminary fights, you aren’t a casual fan, and one recognizable name isn’t going to change this. As for the idea that the fans tuning in for Faber are now more likely to buy the pay-per-view, who exactly is going to watch a Urijah Faber fight that wasn’t already planning on watching Weidman, Machida, and Ronda Rousey? And even if these fans actually exist, does anyone think those fans are going to pay for fights that they don’t care about, simply because they just watched a fight that they do care about for free? Do they actually believe their own “All it takes is just one fight to turn a person into a hardcore fan” insanity?

Or maybe they’re somehow lacing the Faber fight with black tar heroin, in which case, yeah, that’s pretty disrespectful to get me addicted to drugs unknowingly, UFC.

JJ: I’m sure that Yahoo reporter/UFC shill Kevin Iole would tell you that placing Faber on the prelims makes perfect sense, before supporting his argument with a line of reasoning so backwards and illogical you’d think it had been dreamed up by David Lynch. And I get it, placing Faber on the prelims to boost FS1 ratings could work, but at what cost, Seth? AT WHAT COST.

Urijah Faber is a main card fighter. Russell Doane is not. Case closed.

Before we leave, anything you’d like to say about the TUF 19 Finale: Edgar vs. Penn 3?

JJ: BJ PENN CAME OUT OF RETIREMENT?!!! WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?!!!!

SF: …that’s a real event?

One final *final* question: Is the #WeekofDanga destined to go down as one of the greatest, most creative endeavors in CagePotato history? 

SF: No question! #WeekofDanga #DangaArmy #NOLA

JJ: You’re right, Seth, it *isn’t* an actual question. I just added threw it in (and wrote your response) after you were finished drafting up your answers. Thanks for the kind words, though! #WeekofDanga #FarrahAbrahamforPresident

Gambling Addiction Enabler Head-to-Head: UFC 173 Edition


(Damn it, TJ. You’re supposed to hold the imaginary title belt above your head.)

UFC 173 may not be heavy on star power, but it presents some interesting opportunities for the MMA fan with a crippling gambling addiction looking to make a few bucks this weekend. Join staff writers Jared Jones and Seth Falvo as they break down their favorite fights, underdogs and the most creative ways to flush your hard earned cash down the crapper in a “versus” style edition of the gambling addiction enabler. Will Renan Barao extend his winning streak? Is Daniel Cormier a lock against the aging Dan Henderson? Read on for our picks – with odds courtesy of 5Dimes.eu– and may the winnings be yours.

The Good Dogs

Jared: I’d like to start by preemptively shaming you, Seth, as well as the Potato Nation, and truly, every last so-called “MMA fan” who isn’t giving Dan Henderson a smidgen of hope against Daniel Cormier tomorrow night. Seriously, you guys are the worst.

I don’t care if he’s fighting Fedor on Zeus’ shoulders and both can punch but only Zeus can kick, Dan Henderson should *never* be listed at anything worse than even odds. He’s defeated heavyweights, light heavyweights, middleweights, supposed Emperors, and more legends of the sport than pugilistic dementia. That he’s currently hovering around the +600 mark is not only an insult to the man, the myth, the psuedo-Native American that is “Hollywood,” but a disgrace to this sport on par with YAMMA Pit Fighting. TRT, SchmeeRT, Dan Henderson will walk through Cormier’s punches before delivering his greatest H-Bomb to date, at 2:03 of the second round, amen. Say it with me, folks: Dan. F*cking. Henderson.


(Damn it, TJ. You’re supposed to hold the imaginary title belt above your head.)

UFC 173 may not be heavy on star power, but it presents some interesting opportunities for the MMA fan with a crippling gambling addiction looking to make a few bucks this weekend. Join staff writers Jared Jones and Seth Falvo as they break down their favorite fights, underdogs and the most creative ways to flush your hard earned cash down the crapper in a “versus” style edition of the gambling addiction enabler. Will Renan Barao extend his winning streak? Is Daniel Cormier a lock against the aging Dan Henderson? Read on for our picks – with odds courtesy of 5Dimes.eu– and may the winnings be yours.

The Good Dogs

Jared: I’d like to start by preemptively shaming you, Seth, as well as the Potato Nation, and truly, every last so-called “MMA fan” who isn’t giving Dan Henderson a smidgen of hope against Daniel Cormier tomorrow night. Seriously, you guys are the worst.

I don’t care if he’s fighting Fedor on Zeus’ shoulders and both can punch but only Zeus can kick, Dan Henderson should *never* be listed at anything worse than even odds. He’s defeated heavyweights, light heavyweights, middleweights, supposed Emperors, and more legends of the sport than pugilistic dementia. That he’s currently hovering around the +600 mark is not only an insult to the man, the myth, the psuedo-Native American that is “Hollywood,” but a disgrace to this sport on par with YAMMA Pit Fighting. TRT, SchmeeRT, Dan Henderson will walk through Cormier’s punches before delivering his greatest H-Bomb to date, at 2:03 of the second round, amen. Say it with me, folks: Dan. F*cking. Henderson.

(Also, Francisco Rivera at +150 isn’t a bad pick, and Chico Camus is a proven UFC-level fighter with a wealth of experience over TUF 18 winner Chris Holdsworth, who at just 5-0, is being slightly overvalued as a 3-to-1 favorite.)

Seth: I won’t argue that I don’t deserve shame and all, but let’s not act like Henderson wasn’t getting a “$5 for Shiggles” bet out of my wallet this weekend. As for the other good dogs, Rivera upsetting Mizugaki is as safe of an underdog bet as you’ll find on this card, and far be it from me not to wager on a gritty sumbitch like Chico Camus – who holds two upset victories in his 3-1 UFC run, mind you – bullying a 5-0 TUF winner for three rounds. And since I’ve never been one to let pesky little details like “never having seen either guy fight before” stop me from throwing money at my bookie, I’ll pick Li “The Leech” JingLiang to upset the TUF washout fighting on short notice who can’t even spell “bulldog” correctly. Becuz propper spelleng, yoll.

Stay the Hell Away From

Jared: Varner vs. Krause. Becuz inconcistensee. I put good money down on Varner to beat Abel Trujillo at UFC 169, and for most of the fight, Varner was kicking “Killa’s” ass all over the octagon. Then he got cocky/tired and walked straight into a haymaker from Hell. I just so happened to fall out of  moving van that night, if you know what I mean.

Anyway, the former WEC lightweight champ has been consistent in the entertainment department since unretiring, but inconsistent everywhere else. And I’m not sure whether Krause was faking, confused, or just plain hurt by Bobby Green’s body kicks in his last bout, but I do know that I’m not placing money on either of these dudes because I can’t medically suffer another “accidental” concussion in the next 30 days.

Seth: Robbie Lawler vs. Jake Ellenberger is going to make for a great fight. And that’s the only prediction I’m willing to stake my all but nonexistent reputation on. Just sit back and enjoy this one, okay?

The Main Event

Seth: I think this will sum up the main event nicely…

Jared: Good point, Seth, but I’m thinking something more along the lines of…

 

As for my prediction…here’s some footage of TJ Dillashaw training on an airplane. It will not help him. I am done speaking on this subject.

Other Fights Worth Investing In
Anthony Njokuani (-225) vs. Vinc Pichel (+205)
Sam Sicilia (-140) vs. Aaron Phillips (+130)
Tony Ferguson (-280) vs. Katsunori Kikuno (+255)

Jared: UFC 173 doesn’t present a ton of interesting gambling opportunities in my eyes, truth be told, but Anthony Njokuani at just -225 against Vinc Pichel, a.k.a Rustam Khabilov’s ragdoll, seems like a steal to me. I don’t even know who A-A-ron Phillips is, so TUF 15 alum Sam Sicilia at -150 seems like a safe parlay bet, even though he’s dropped 3 out of 5 in the UFC. Sicilia’s likely fighting for his UFC career at this point, and will hopefully use that extra motivation to TKO this newbie in the first.

Seth: Not so fast, Jared. Aaron Phillips is part of Tim Creuder’s stable of roughneck brawlers from South Louisiana; he should be a tough opponent for Sicilia. Ain’t no way I’m betting on Sicilia to win this one, but Phillips at +130 doesn’t provide an attractive enough ROI to wager on a guy making his UFC debut. So instead I’ll advise everyone that Tony Ferguson is a safe bet against Katsunori Kikuno. “Japanese veteran on American soil” usually doesn’t end well, and Ferguson has proven to be far more competent at fighting than he is at picking out back tattoos (I mean seriously…).

Jared: You fool. Those are quite clearly Max Holloway‘s super-original angel wing tattoos. No? Ben Henderson then? Renan Barao?

Tony gon’ whoop dat ass, tho.

Suggested Stakes for a $50 Wager
Jared: $30 on a Njokuani + Sicilia + Ferguson parlay (nets $69.48)
$10 on Dan F*cking Henderson (nets $57.50)
$10 on Camus (nets $28)

Seth: $30 on Ferguson + Rivera + Njokuani parlay (nets $116.23)
$10 on Camus + Barao parlay (nets $33.35)
$5 on Dan Henderson (nets $28.75)
$5 on Jingliang + Camus + Rivera + Ferguson + Barao + Njokuani #YOLO parlay (nets $243.29)

Gambling Addiction Enabler Head-To-Head: April Edition


(Pictured above: A perfect example of the Easy Money/KILL IT WITH FIRE dichotomy of MMA gambling.)

With the UFC alone churning out an event a week nowadays, there has never been a better time to be an MMA fan with a crippling gambling addiction. But being that we have neither the time nor the patience to dedicate an entire article to the moneymaking opportunities present in Richard Walsh vs. Chris Indich (<—actual fight happening this week), we’ve instead rounded up our two most compulsive gamblers, staff writers Jared Jones and Seth Falvo, and had them highlight the best fights to bet on this month, “versus” style, in a revamped version of the gambling addiction enabler you all know and love. Enjoy.

The Main Events
UFC TUF Nations Finale (April 16): Tim Kennedy (+155) vs. Michael Bisping (-175)

Seth: You really have to love the irony here: Jake Shields was released from the UFC because he’ll never be a contender. The next four guys to headline UFC cards? Big Nog, Roy Nelson, Tim Kennedy and Michael Bisping. Oh man, that’s good stuff.

Anyways, Bisping shall take the unanimous decision. There shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

Jared: Ugh, another Michael Bisping fight featuring a heated build-up that is all but guaranteed to underwhelm once the actual cage door closes. I hate to agree with my fellow staffer, for he is a contemptuous scoundrel of the worst nature, but Bisping should use his length and endless gastank to jab and jog his way to another UD here. Kennedy may have been able to KO Rafael Natal (on few days notice) in front of his fellow rangers, but this fight should go down in incredibly similar fashion to his fight with Luke Rockhold, with Kennedy unable to secure a takedown and coming up short on the majority of his punches.

Bisping is being slightly undervalued here in my opinion, and at his current return is good enough to make a parlay. What? PATRIOTISM HAS NO PLACE IN THE GAMBLING SPECTRUM.


(Pictured above: A perfect example of the Easy Money/KILL IT WITH FIRE dichotomy of MMA gambling.)

With the UFC alone churning out an event a week nowadays, there has never been a better time to be an MMA fan with a crippling gambling addiction. But being that we have neither the time nor the patience to dedicate an entire article to the moneymaking opportunities present in Richard Walsh vs. Chris Indich (<—actual fight happening this week), we’ve instead rounded up our two most compulsive gamblers, staff writers Jared Jones and Seth Falvo, and had them highlight the best fights to bet on this month, “versus” style, in a revamped version of the gambling addiction enabler you all know and love. Enjoy.

The Main Events
UFC TUF Nations Finale (April 16): Tim Kennedy (+155) vs. Michael Bisping (-175)

Seth: You really have to love the irony here: Jake Shields was released from the UFC because he’ll never be a contender. The next four guys to headline UFC cards? Big Nog, Roy Nelson, Tim Kennedy and Michael Bisping. Oh man, that’s good stuff.

Anyways, Bisping shall take the unanimous decision. There shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

Jared: Ugh, another Michael Bisping fight featuring a heated build-up that is all but guaranteed to underwhelm once the actual cage door closes. I hate to agree with my fellow staffer, for he is a contemptuous scoundrel of the worst nature, but Bisping should use his length and endless gastank to jab and jog his way to another UD here. Kennedy may have been able to KO Rafael Natal (on few days notice) in front of his fellow rangers, but this fight should go down in incredibly similar fashion to his fight with Luke Rockhold, with Kennedy unable to secure a takedown and coming up short on the majority of his punches.

Bisping is being slightly undervalued here in my opinion, and at his current return is good enough to make a parlay. What? PATRIOTISM HAS NO PLACE IN THE GAMBLING SPECTRUM.

UFC on Fox 11 (April 19): Fabricio Werdum (+170) vs. Travis Browne (-200)

Jared: It’s getting more and more difficult to bet against Browne at this point in his career. The man is coming off back-to-back-to-back Knockout of the Nights, each one more violent than the last, and has twice shown that he can finish a fight while fending off a takedown. He’s also never been submitted. Werdum’s striking is ever-improving, sure, but his only chance here is to get this thing to the ground early and hope that doesn’t wake up dead whilst attempting to do so. I wouldn’t suggest a straight bet here, but the +100 prop that Browne wins inside the distance is a solid gamble.

Seth: You know, I really have to disagree/agree with Jared here: Fabricio Werdum has been on top of his game since returning to the UFC and he should OH MY GOD THAT MAN IS DEAD! TRAVIS BROWNE IS THE FUTURE, I SAYS!”

UFC 172 (April 26): Glover Teixeira (+450) vs. Jon Jones (-600)

Seth: I’m putting this fight in “Stay the Hell Away From” territory, out of sheer principle. Teixeira is a beast, there’s no question about that. But after watching him get rocked by Fabio Maldonado during the first round of that massacre, I can’t in good conscience tell you guys to bet money on him being the guy to defeat Jon Jones. As for betting on Jones? If I advised you to place a bet that would pay you $1.60 for every ten bucks you wagered, I’d never be able to drink an EXTREME SPORTS ENERGY DRINK!!!1!one!!1! again without feeling like a fraud.

Look, if you really want to bet on this fight, the under on the prop that this fight lasts three and a half rounds (currently sitting at -155) is the way to go. I’d be surprised if this one makes it out of the first round.

Jared: Not only was Teixeira rocked by Fabio Maldonado, he was rocked by Ryan Bader, a.k.a the guy who never even touched Jon Jones in their fight at UFC 126 a.k.a Tito Ortiz‘s last victory. Teixeira hits hard, but so does Alexander Gustafsson, and the Brazilian is way too flat-footed to keep up with the champ. That said, I like the +255 prop that “Bones” wins by five round decision. Why? Because Jon Jones is easily ten times more arrogant than Anderson Silva ever was (I blame the surname), and it’s only a matter of time before he has his UFC 97/UFC 112 moment.

Other Fights Worth Investing In
UFC TUF Nations Finale (April 26): Sam Stout (-115) vs. KJ Noons (-105)
UFC TUF Nations Finale (April 26): Sarah Kaufman (-240) vs. Leslie Smith (+200)
UFC 172 (April 26): Anthony Johnson (+160) vs. Phil Davis (-185)
UFC 172 (April 26): Tim Elliott (+305) vs. Joseph Benavidez (-365)

Seth: Call me crazy, but Sam Stout at -115 against KJ Noons is a downright steal, and even though their first contest was close, I fully expect Sarah Kaufman to walk away victorious against Leslie Smith again. You may want to lock in Phil Davis at -185, because I sincerely doubt he’s staying under -200 by the time fight week comes around (I’m also pretty confident he’ll win, in case it isn’t obvious). Benavidez at -365 is barely worth the risk as a parlay addition, so go ahead and lock that up before it spirals toward -500 territory.

Jared: Sam Stout couldn’t finish a Cody McKenzie in basketball shorts who might’ve been drunk at the time and has gone win-loss since 2012. Noons to win via superior boxing. And as far as parlay bets go, it would be wise to lock down Mitch Gagnon at -285 over Tim Gorman, as it’s arguably the easiest money on the TUF Nations card.

Honestly, one of the best lines I’ve seen out there is Dustin Kimura vs. George Roop-JUST HEAR ME OUT FOR A SECOND. Roop may be one of the most inconsistent fighters in the UFC, but when he’s on, he’s on. Listed as just a -120 favorite over Kimura, an up-and-comer with decent submission skills and an unpolished striking game, a small bet on a veteran like Roop wouldn’t be the dumbest thing you could ever do. I know, I’ll see myself out.

The Good Dogs
UFC 172 (April 26): Tim Boetsch (+650) vs. Luke Rockhold (-1000)

True story: I made $80 betting on a fighter I’ve never heard of during UFC Fight Night 38. I knew absolutely nothing about Thiago Santos, other than he was a +800 underdog (?!) against -700 favorite (?!?!) Ronny Markes (?!?!?!). “There are very few fighters who should ever be -700 favorites in the UFC,” I thought before betting ten bucks on Santos. “Ronny Markes sure as hell isn’t one of them.”

I’m using the exact same school of thought here by advising you to bet on Tim Boetsch. Luke Rockhold at -1000 is ri-goddamn-diculous.

Jared: I wholeheartedly agree with your logic here, as you’d think Rockhold was fighting a UFC newb specializing in R.I.P, not a legitimate veteran who is 6-3 in his past 9 UFC contests, based on that absolutely insane line. Tim Boetsch has shown in the past that he can pull victory from the jaws of defeat, and while I think Rockhold holds an advantage in pretty much every conceivable category here, there’s no way I’d pass up a 5 dollar wager on a gritty sumbitch like Boetsch to make 32ish back.

Stay the Hell Away From
UFC TUF Nations Finale (April 16): Kyle Noke (-105) vs. Patrick Cote (-115)
UFC TUF Nations Finale (April 16): Mark Bocek (-485) vs. Mike de la Torre (+350)

Seth: I can’t think of a single reason why Mike de la Torre has a chance at winning this fight, but then again, I also can’t think of a single reason why Mark Bocek is at -495 BOOKIES WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS ISN’T FUNNY. As for the co-main event that at least seven people are talking about? I’ll probably make a prediction for that fight by flipping a coin while they’re touching gloves before the start of round one. Just sit these two out.

Jared: Your lack of respect for Canada’s first Jiu Jitsu black belt is upsetting, to say the least. A quick look over Bocek’s record reveals that his only losses in the past 4 years have come to top contenders and future champions, and all by way of decision. Throw in the fact that he’s facing a late-replacement opponent, a UFC newcomer, nicknamed “El Cucuy,” and you’ve got all the justification for that line you will ever need.

And that co-main event you speak of? Noke’s to lose, in my opinion. Patrick Cote may have been a one-time title challenger at 185, but his only win at welterweight was a squeaker over Bobby Voelker back in March of 2013. While Noke has been on the shelf for even longer than his Canadian counterpart, I fully expect him to utilize his long jab and mix in some takedowns en route to a UD victory.

Seth: So you’d place a straight bet on him to win?

Jared: Fuck no!

Suggested Stakes for a $50 Wager
Seth: $20 on Bisping+Stout+Kaufman parlay
$20 on Davis+Benavidez parlay (yes, you should lock up those odds now)
$10 on Tim Boetsch

Jared: $20 on a Bisping+Kaufman+Gagnon
$20 on Davis+Benavidez+Miller
$5 on “The Barbarian”
$5 on a mega-super-buster parlay of Bisping+Kaufman+Gagnon+Noons+Roop

Seth vs. Jared: UFC 170 Edition


(And the Lord sayeth, “You can not defeat me, Lucifer, for I am willing to die in here.”)

Tonight’s UFC 170 card poses a lot of intriguing questions: Is Ronda Rousey‘s striking *really* “the best in the game?” Can a last second injury in your co-main event be used as a legal justification for homicide? What is a Yosdenis Cedeno, exactly?

Here to “intelligently” “debate” at least one of those questions are CagePotato staff writers Jared Jones and Seth Falvo, so join them after the jump to get the inside scoop on all things UFC 170-related.

So what happens if Sara McMann actually wins on Saturday night?

JJ: Simple: Dana White dissolves the women’s bantamweight division, cancels TUF 20, and bans any MMA outlet that dares question his decision. MWAHAHAHAHA!!

Seriously though, there is no scenario in which a Rousey loss doesn’t equal an immediate rematch. I don’t care if McMann takes Rousey down in the first 5 seconds, annihilates her with ground-n-pound and then armbars her, we are getting an immediate rematch. This whole “WMMA in the UFC” thing all hinges on Rousey being the champ, right? Because I’m pretty sure that Dana White has been completely transparent about that fact since Day 1.


(And the Lord sayeth, “You can not defeat me, Lucifer, for I am willing to die in here.”)

Tonight’s UFC 170 card poses a lot of intriguing questions: Is Ronda Rousey‘s striking *really* “the best in the game?” Can a last second injury in your co-main event be used as a legal justification for homicide? What is a Yosdenis Cedeno, exactly?

Here to “intelligently” “debate” at least one of those questions are CagePotato staff writers Jared Jones and Seth Falvo, so join them after the jump to get the inside scoop on all things UFC 170-related.

So what happens if Sara McMann actually wins on Saturday night?

JJ: Simple: Dana White dissolves the women’s bantamweight division, cancels TUF 20, and bans any MMA outlet that dares question his decision. MWAHAHAHAHA!!

Seriously though, there is no scenario in which a Rousey loss doesn’t equal an immediate rematch. I don’t care if McMann takes Rousey down in the first 5 seconds, annihilates her with ground-n-pound and then armbars her, we are getting an immediate rematch. This whole “WMMA in the UFC” thing all hinges on Rousey being the champ, right? Because I’m pretty sure that Dana White has been completely transparent about that fact since Day 1.

SF: If McMann wins, we’re getting three things: A rematch, an extremely exaggerated (if not completely fabricated) story about the personal demons that Ronda Rousey was fighting before UFC 170, and we’re all getting blamed for them in some way, shape or form. The rematch will serve as the co-main event of UFC 173: Weidman vs. Belfort, which will get moved to Brazil for some reason. Hey, it’ll be a strange UFC if McMann wins, I says.

Be honest: As Random as Cormier vs. Cummins is, isn’t it still the best we could ask for on such short notice?

SF: You know what, I’m going to take the extremely unpopular stance and say that yes, it is. On paper, it’s a squash match between the number one contender and some random guy from Twitter, yes, but aren’t those fights usually fun? Of course they are. Besides, no matter who wins this fight, the UFC can still continue their whole “XX is the future of the division!” campaign, right? That’s a lot more than we would have been able to say if Cormier vs. Sonnen was booked…

JJ: I’ll give you that Cormier vs. Cummins is a better fight than Cormier vs. Sonnen, but the best we could ask for? Nah, son.

Call me crazy, but I stand firmly in the Chael Sonnen, “Any unbooked LHW who didn’t jump at this opportunity is a coward” camp. The only thing any UFC fighter had to lose by accepting a short notice bout with Cormier was a few brain cells, and if they’re afraid of that, then brother, they’re in the wrong business (but I DO SO RESPECT THESE BRAVE WARRIOR FIGHTERS YOU GUYZ!!).

While I loved the idea of giving Cummins a shot at his “Rocky” moment when the fight was first announced – the unpredictability of MMA, after all, is one of the most intriguing aspects of the sport – I also fell back on the idea that there were plenty of unbooked, proven UFC fighters who had a lot more to offer Cormier than a story about that time they made him cry in training camp. In short, I agreed with Ben Askren’s take on the situation and felt weird inside because of it.

Upon looking over the UFC’s current list of light heavyweight fighters, however, I found that nearly everyone in the division either has a fight booked already, are coming off a loss (or multiple losses), are injured or retired, or just signed with the promotion. In fact, there is literally one guy who doesn’t fit into any of the above categories: Rafael Cavalcante. The former Strikeforce champion just steamrolled Igor Pokrajac at Fight Night 32, isn’t injured, and would make for a much more compelling reason to drop $50 on a PPV than some fabricated grudge match between an Olympian and a barista.

I give all the respect in the world to Cummins for accepting the fight, but have you even *seen* any of his fights? Dude is going to be ground into dog food inside of 3 minutes.

You have $20, and you need some horrific gambling advice. Go!

JJ: As one of our readers pointed out in the Gambling Enabler, a ten dollar bet on a McMann – Cummins – Maia parlay nets you over $1000 ($1,639 to be exact). I’ll double down on that bet and make a cool…uh…$4000.

SF: Maybe I’m just old-fashioned, but I prefer my terrible gambling advice to come from a real hack journalist, and not just some random guy from the comments section. Now then, if you’re looking for some horrific advice, then I’d suggest a Rousey/Cormier parlay. You’ll start sweating bullets if either fight makes it past the first minute, and your twenty dollars will only return a whopping $5.71 in profit from BetUS.com. Talk about not being worth the (almost non-existent) risk.

Now, if your idea of horrific gambling advice involved asking me for genuine advice as a way to mock me, then know that I decided to parlay my grad school alma mater UL-Lafayette’s men’s basketball team covering the spread against Troy (which they did) with Rory MacDonald defeating Demian Maia. I will use my winnings to put a picture of me holding my thumbs up on the trunks of a Hip Show competitor, “Ravishing” Rick Rude style.

Take your best guess as to what the PPV numbers for UFC 170 will look like.

JJ: Without launching into the same discussion about oversaturation, quantity over quality and “garbage-asses” that we’ve all had a thousand times, I will say that UFC 170 is a “tough sell” to both casual and hardcore MMA fans. While the UFC of days past would have taken the best matchups from Fight Night 36 (mainly, Machida vs. Mousasi) and UFC 170 and combined them into one stacked card actually worthy of my purchase, we are living in the era of “World Fucking Domination,” which this weekend will equate to less than 300,000 PPV buys. Ronda Rousey may be the quote unquote “ biggest star the UFC  has ever had,” but UFC 170 will offer evidence to the contrary.

Seriously though, how great would it be if UFC 170 had Lyoto Machida, Gegard Mousasi, and Jacare Souza to support it? Maybe then the UFC wouldn’t have to shop for fighters at the Starbucks drive-thru to justify charging us $50 for a garbage-ass (sorry, I had to) pay-per-view. One can only dream…(*gazes out window and tosses back whiskey*)

SF: So, remember when “I predict a card with a title fight and three Olympians will draw less than 500k buys” would have actually sounded stupid? And not in a “Well no shit, dumbass” sort of way, but in a “You must be high out of your damn mind” way? Oh man, those were the days when…hang on… (*swings open front door and yells at hoodlums skateboarding on MY sidewalk*)

If only to keep this column from being us agreeing with each other while occasionally hi-fiving, I’ll say that this card draws more than 300k buys. But not more than 350k buys, because what sort of contrarian asshole do you think I am?

Demian Maia and Rory MacDonald are both coming off “disappointing” performances against Jake Shields and Robbie Lawler, respectively. Who gets back in the win column on Saturday?

SF: Maia had this locked up the second I bet money on MacDonald, because I am not allowed to have nice things.

JJ: Although Maia has looked outstanding at welterweight, save his most recent fight with Shields, I gotta go with the “future of the welterweight division” in this one. We (the “MMA media”) have been riding MacDonald’s jock ever since he entered the UFC, and the pressure on “Ares” to finally achieve his potential is more intense than ever. Against a high-profile fighter and former middleweight title challenger like Maia, methinks MacDonald is going to show the flashes of brilliance he did against Condit and Penn and remind us all why he’s still an elite member of the division with plenty of years ahead of him. Rory might not send Maia into a full-on tailspin in the opening frame like Nate Marquardt did, but he’ll get the job done.

Make one wild prediction for the UFC 170 undercard.

JJ: All 6 fights go to decision, and all but 2 of them are completely forgotten about as soon as the judges scores are announced. I know, it’s not exactly a “wild” prediction given the past couple events, but when more people on the undercard *don’t* have a Wikipedia page than those who do, you can probably expect more of the same sloppy sparring matches we’ve been treated to in recent weeks.

SF: We’re talking about the undercard now? Take it away, Green Bastard…

My wild prediction is that someone might actually disagree with me. Someone who isn’t related to either fighter. Wild, huh?

Seth vs. Jared: UFC 161 and World Series of Fighting 3 Edition


(Buy the entire collection of CagePotato staff fights on VHS today!)

With a veritable buffet of fights going down this weekend in UFC 161 and World Series of Fighting 3, we here at CagePotato decided to dust off a rivalry older than Paraguay vs. Uruguay in attempt to break it all down. CP staff writers Jared Jones and Seth Falvo were more than willing to step up to the plate (and over the bones of their past victims) to wage war on a variety of topics relating to this weekend’s action, so read on and let us know how you think either event will play out in the comments section.

What’s the over-under on Rashad Evans’ “50 takedowns” claim? Also, have you ever heard a worse hook to draw PPV buys? 

Jared: Call me crazy, but I’m taking the under here. Specifically, 4. As Henderson recently stated, Evans has looked a little “shy” on the feet ever since he was knocked out by Lyoto Machida in the midst of delivering one epic tongue-lashing at UFC 98. My prediction is that this fight goes down in a similar, albeit less dominating fashion as Evans vs. Davis. Rashad was able to nail 3 takedowns in that fight, and that was against a guy he was absolutely eating up in the standup department.

A fear of Henderson’s patented H-Bomb is going to result in a Rashad Evans who is timid on the feet (like he was against Lil’ Nog) and who will look to wear out his older foe with his superior speed until Hendo tires out around the 3 minute mark of the second round. It is then when Rashad will truly start looking to impose his will on the ex-Strikeforce champ in the form of the takedown. Truthfully, I hope it doesn’t ever come to that, as I am using the precedent set forth by Vitor Belfort to predict that Hendo lands a TRT-fueled flying knee to Evans’ dome as he shoots for his first takedown.


(Buy the entire collection of CagePotato staff fights on VHS today!)

With a veritable buffet of fights going down this weekend in UFC 161 and World Series of Fighting 3, we here at CagePotato decided to dust off a rivalry older than Paraguay vs. Uruguay in attempt to break it all down. CP staff writers Jared Jones and Seth Falvo were more than willing to step up to the plate (and over the bones of their past victims) to wage war on a variety of topics relating to this weekend’s action, so read on and let us know how you think either event will play out in the comments section.

What’s the over-under on Rashad Evans’ “50 takedowns” claim? Also, have you ever heard a worse hook to draw PPV buys? 

Jared: Call me crazy, but I’m taking the under here. Specifically, 4. As Henderson recently stated, Evans has looked a little “shy” on the feet ever since he was knocked out by Lyoto Machida in the midst of delivering one epic tongue-lashing at UFC 98. My prediction is that this fight goes down in a similar, albeit less dominating fashion as Evans vs. Davis. Rashad was able to nail 3 takedowns in that fight, and that was against a guy he was absolutely eating up in the standup department.

A fear of Henderson’s patented H-Bomb is going to result in a Rashad Evans who is timid on the feet (like he was against Lil’ Nog) and who will look to wear out his older foe with his superior speed until Hendo tires out around the 3 minute mark of the second round. It is then when Rashad will truly start looking to impose his will on the ex-Strikeforce champ in the form of the takedown. Truthfully, I hope it doesn’t ever come to that, as I am using the precedent set forth by Vitor Belfort to predict that Hendo lands a TRT-fueled flying knee to Evans’ dome as he shoots for his first takedown.

To answer your other question: Yes, the “50 takedowns” claim is probably the weakest hook I’ve heard in quite some time – like saying that you’re “going to attempt 100 submissions on this chump before the final bell.” Unless of course, by “takedown,” Evans means that he is going to pick Henderson up and present him to the audience like a life-sized Oscar statuette before slamming him through the mat a la Hughes vs. Trigg 2. Then I could see the appeal.

Seth: Can you even imagine how boring it would be if Evans actually did earn fifty takedowns throughout the course of a three round bout? Henderson would have to literally run into a takedown as soon as the first round begins, but then get back to his feet before Evans could mount any type of offense, only to get taken down again before landing anything himself. Steps two and three would have to repeat until the end of the round, and then the entire sequence would have to repeat for the next two rounds. Joe Rogan would have a heart attack trying to call the (lack of significant) action. “Oh, THERE’S A TAKEDOWN RIGHT THERE…now he’ll look to work for OH HENDO IS BACK UP and loo- oh wait! Rashad’s GOT THE TAKEDOWN HERE and now he’s trying to trap that OH! NICE MOVE BY HENDO! AND NOW A SCRAMBLE!”

And as far as the PPV draw goes, it’s not like it really matters. Evans and Henderson are both pretty strong PPV draws, and the rest of the main card has some very interesting, fun-looking fights. Evans could have given the fans a link to his favorite stream and this card would still break 400,000 buys. So…I give his bogus fight-hyping attempt an A for “at least it’s original?”

Which UFC 161 main-eventer should retire if he loses, and which UFC 161 fighter has the most to lose on Saturday night?

Seth: I’m glad you asked these two questions together, because my answer is the same for each one: Both of the main-eventers. The decision to book Jon Jones vs. Alexander Gustafsson for UFC 165 sends them a pretty clear message that this bout ain’t exactly for contendership — it’s to stay relevant. Both guys are coming off of losses in dreadfully forgettable fights, and making it two straight would be pretty damning at this point in their careers. Factor in how Jones already holds a convincing win over Rashad, how Hendo is pretty much unable to compete in California until further notice, how both guys made a ton of money throughout their careers — and by the way, the whole “neither guy is getting any younger” thing also deserves some recognition – and the idea of either guy attempting to drop to middleweight to rejuvenate his stagnant career just seems ridiculous. Thanks for the memories, now walk away before you’re remembered for all the wrong reasons.

Jared: Damn Seth, do you enjoy taking away men’s livelihoods? This is a tough one for me to answer, quite honestly. Fact is, either one of these guys could still put a whooping on most of the UFC’s light heavyweight division whether they win tomorrow night or not. The question we should really be asking (and you did to some degree with your final statement) is: Do we really want to witness either fighter’s slow demise? Neither Evans nor Henderson has had that Chuck Liddell string of KO losses to convince them that they can’t hang anymore, but I guess the obvious answer here would be that Henderson should retire if he loses based simply on his age.

Henderson had his shot against Jones when there were still enough of us who – whether honestly or out of some “Because PRIDE” delusion – thought he could pose a threat to the unstoppable champ. He blew it (or rather, his MCL did), and his loss to Machida wrote home the notion that Hendo probably isn’t getting anywhere near Jones before he retires. Win or lose, I say give Hendo another fight with Wanderlei Silva next and then force them both to retire. Nostalgia wins, the UFC wins, the audience in attendance wins, and two guys who have sacrificed their minds and bodies to the sport we love for umpteen years will retire on what will surely be a Fight of the Night winner.

And who has the most to lose at UFC 161 should be quite obvious: Roy Nelson. If the dude had agreed to lose a few more pounds when Dana White first asked him to, perhaps he wouldn’t currently find himself in a work environment so hostile that he’s been forced to resort to blatant idiocy to get out of there.

Alright, let’s get down to serious business: Which UFC 161 Fighter has the best nickname?

Seth: One of the best examples of a terrible athlete having a great nickname is that of former NBA athlete Bryant Reeves. What made his nickname so great? For one, it was actually given to him by his college teammates, not something he made up himself. In today’s age of mediocre nobodies calling themselves “The Machine”  and conservative chiropractors telling the media to refer to them by a Motley Crue song title, it’s refreshing to see a guy actually earn his nickname the way he’s supposed to. He was tall, he was husky, he was from such a small town that his teammates gave him the name after watching how fascinated he was by his first ride in an airplane. He was…Big Country.

I tried to like Reeves. I honestly tried. But he was such a stiff in the NBA, with such an undeservedly great nickname, that I just couldn’t cheer for the guy. By the time he was pushed out of the league (not that it took long), I pretty much knew that any time I saw a “Big Country” who was so much as competent at his sport – let alone good – I’d be a big fan. Then along comes Roy Nelson, with his doughy physique, mountain-man beard, and actual skills worthy of the awesome nickname. Easy call. The fact that he’s entering tomorrow night’s bout with three consecutive first-round knockouts to his name just makes it all the better.

Jared: I tend to agree with your argument that nicknames should be earned, not chosen by the fighters themselves, which makes Tyron “The Chosen One” Woodley and Ryan “Big Deal” Jimmo (the former of which I would have preferred been spelled using the Justin McCully Grammar Guide) seem all the more pompous. “Suga” Rashad Evans is simply too cliché and unoriginal for my taste, and you chose “Big Country,” so I’m quickly running out of options here. Oh wait, I’m not even close.

I could pick James “The James Krause” Krause if I was some “meta” hipster douchebag, but I’ll pass. “HD” is a nickname better suited for a Diaz…“The Savage,” “The Punisher” and “The Duke” are similarly uninspiring…I guess I gotta go with Alexis “Ally-Gator” Davis by default. It’s somewhat original, it’s got a clever bit of wordplay involved (which is about the only thing I can praise Tim “The Maine-iac” Sylvia for these days), and I had a strange fascination with alligators as a child, so there it is. Being that you’ve probably lost half your family to gators down there in Cajun country, I can see how you’d be hesitant to choose hers.

Seth: That’s…that’s not true…*cries into Sazerac and cranks “Stone the Crow”*

Click the “next page” tab to hear Jared and Seth wax poetic on all things WSOF 3-related, then throw cheap shots at each other’s upbringing…