Tag: squash match

Lamb to the Slaughter: Daniel Cormier Opens as an Astonishing -2000 Favorite Over Dion Staring


(Cormier, seen here after placing his life savings on Staring while wearing his lucky spandex.) 

Well, it’s official, Strikeforce is planning to go out with a bang, and by “a bang” we mean “a public execution.” From the very first moment they announced that newly appointed heavyweight champion Daniel Cormier would be facing complete unknown Dion Staring in a non-title affair, we knew that the odds would be astronomically in Cormier’s favor, but -2000?!! MMAFighting’s Shaun Al-Shatti first broke the news via his Twitter:

Wow. Daniel Cormier opens as a -2000, I repeat, -2000 favorite over Dion Staring. Not quite the same as Frank Mir, is it?

This begs one to ask: Is Staring coming into this fight following a recent amputation? He’s a no-namer, sure, but the man also sports a 28-7 record compared to Cormier’s 10-0. Sure, Cormier’s fought a far higher level of opponents in those 10 fights, but at these odds, Staring has a better chance of knocking himself unconscious in the sauna than he does of beating Cormier. Hell, I have a better chance of knocking out Cormier in the sauna then this poor bastard does.

For a little perspective, consider this: Anderson Silva — that would be ten time defending UFC middleweight champion Anderson Silva — was favored at around -1350 over Stephan Bonnar. The highest discrepancy in Strikeforce history came when Cris Cyborg fought Jan Finney at Strikeforce: Fedor vs. Werdum, which also topped out around -2000. The highest discrepancy in MMA history (to my knowledge) came when Antonio Rogerio Nogueria fought Sokoudjou at Pride 33 (-2500) — a fight the former ended up losing, by the way.


(Cormier, seen here after placing his life savings on Staring while wearing his lucky spandex.) 

Well, it’s official, Strikeforce is planning to go out with a bang, and by “a bang” we mean “a public execution.” From the very first moment they announced that newly appointed heavyweight champion Daniel Cormier would be facing complete unknown Dion Staring in a non-title affair, we knew that the odds would be astronomically in Cormier’s favor, but -2000?!! MMAFighting’s Shaun Al-Shatti first broke the news via his Twitter:

Wow. Daniel Cormier opens as a -2000, I repeat, -2000 favorite over Dion Staring. Not quite the same as Frank Mir, is it?

This begs one to ask: Is Staring coming into this fight following a recent amputation? He’s a no-namer, sure, but the man also sports a 28-7 record compared to Cormier’s 10-0. Sure, Cormier’s fought a far higher level of opponents in those 10 fights, but at these odds, Staring has a better chance of knocking himself unconscious in the sauna than he does of beating Cormier. Hell, I have a better chance of knocking out Cormier in the sauna then this poor bastard does.

For a little perspective, consider this: Anderson Silva — that would be ten time defending UFC middleweight champion Anderson Silva – was favored at around -1350 over Stephan Bonnar. The highest discrepancy in Strikeforce history came when Cris Cyborg fought Jan Finney at Strikeforce: Fedor vs. Werdum, which also topped out around -2000. The highest discrepancy in MMA history (to my knowledge) came when Antonio Rogerio Nogueria fought Sokoudjou at Pride 33 (-2500) — a fight the former ended up losing, by the way.

But seriously, don’t use that last bit of information to justify placing a bet on Staring. Just don’t. It would be like eating that last wilted 7-11 hot dog at 3 a.m. because you were that drunk. Sure, it will satisfy you carnal needs for the time being, but as soon as your body digests the decision you’ve made, you’ll be feeling much, much worse for doing so.

–J. Jones

Stephen Bonnar vs. Anderson Silva: Head-to-Head


(It’s pretty obvious who takes the “Cooler Hairstyle” category.)

It’s time for some real talk, Potato Nation. Stephan Bonnar is booking a one-way train ticket to Painsville Station on Saturday night and Anderson Silva is the conductor. I know it, you know it, the bookies know it, and your mom knows it (I asked her last night. Say hi to her for me, alright?). Matter of fact, if “The American Psycho” is simply able to come away from the fight in the same state of matter he began it in, everyone watching will unquestionably declare his performance a win for America, the UFC, and perhaps even the Caucasian race.

But this fight is about more than who’s accomplished what or who holds what title or who may or may not have lost to a decrepit Mark Coleman. There are several x-factors at play here, and when we decided to match up Stephan Bonnar and Anderson Silva for one of our infamous head to head sessions, the results might surprise you. Let’s get started.

AGE
Bonnar: 35
Silva: 37
Advantage: Bonnar

SIZE
Bonnar: 6’3″, walks around at roughly 235 lbs, 80 inch reach
Silva: 6’2″, walks around at roughly 215 lbs, 77.5 inch reach
Advantage: Bonnar


(It’s pretty obvious who takes the “Cooler Hairstyle” category.)

It’s time for some real talk, Potato Nation. Stephan Bonnar is booking a one-way train ticket to Painsville Station on Saturday night and Anderson Silva is the conductor. I know it, you know it, the bookies know it, and your mom knows it (I asked her last night. Say hi to her for me, alright?). Matter of fact, if “The American Psycho” is simply able to come away from the fight in the same state of matter he began it in, everyone watching will unquestionably declare his performance a win for America, the UFC, and perhaps even the Caucasian race.

But this fight is about more than who’s accomplished what or who holds what title or who may or may not have lost to a decrepit Mark Coleman. There are several x-factors at play here, and when we decided to match up Stephan Bonnar and Anderson Silva for one of our infamous head to head sessions, the results might surprise you. Let’s get started.

AGE
Bonnar: 35
Silva: 37
Advantage: Bonnar

SIZE
Bonnar: 6’3″, walks around at roughly 235 lbs, 80 inch reach
Silva: 6’2″, walks around at roughly 215 lbs, 77.5 inch reach
Advantage: Bonnar

LAST TWO FIGHTS RESULTED IN
Bonnar: A pair of tedious but smartly gameplanned UD’s over Igor Pokrajac and Kyle Kingsbury
Silva: A pair of absolute clownings over Yushin Okami and Chael Sonnen
Advantage: Silva

FINISHING RATIO
Bonnar: 66.7% (10 stoppages in 15 victories)
Silva: 78.1% (25 stoppages in 32 victories)
Advantage: Silva

RECORD WHEN FIGHTING UP A WEIGHT CLASS
Bonnar: 0-1 (TKO loss to Lyoto Machida at HW in 2003)
Silva: 2-0 (both at LHW, both by way of first round KO)
Advantage: Silva by an ass-whooping

RECORD AGAINST FORMER UFC CHAMPIONS
Bonnar: 0-6
Silva: 5-0
Advantage: Silva by sweet Jesus, Bonnar’s a dead man

PERFORMANCE AGAINST JON JONES
Bonnar: Hard fought but completely one-sided UD loss
Silva: Would rather just stay friends
Advantage: Bonnar

FRIEND OF CAGEPOTATO 
Bonnar: You know it, son!
Silva: Won’t return our calls, filed for three separate restraining orders.
Advantage: Bonnar

SALARIES
Bonnar: $34,000 to show at UFC 139 (seriously, Dana?!)
Silva: $200,000 to show at UFC 148
Advantage: Silva by a Ferrari

GREATEST WAR
Bonnar: One half of the fight that basically pulled the UFC out of the dark ages at the TUF 1 Finale
Silva: Overcame four round deficit to submit Chael Sonnen in the fifth at UFC 117
Advantage: Bonnar by *picks up phone* You gotta see this fight bro!

POST FIGHT CELEBRATION
Bonnar:

Silva: It doesn’t matter. Bonnar clearly wins this round.

Conclusion: Well, well, would you look at that, this fight is actually going to be a lot closer than most of you predicted, with Bonnar actually emerging victorious on paper…

…

…Silva by first round KO.

–J. Jones

[VIDEO] Stephan Bonnar Details His Gameplan to Beat Anderson Silva and It Is a Doozy


(Step 1: Fake heart attack to lower Anderson’s guard. Step 2: ?????? Step 3: SCORE GREATEST UPSET OF ALL TIME.) 

Admit it: When the new headliner for UFC 153 was first announced, not one of you thought Stephan Bonnar stood a chance of beating Anderson Silva, and you probably still don’t. If you happen to be a bookie, you probably equate the likelihood of Bonnar defeating Silva to that of Bob Sapp defeating adult onset vaginitis.

Well, my friends, prepare to have your minds blown, because Bonnar’s camp just released a video that lays out in intricate detail his plans to dethrone (figuratively speaking) the untouchable legacy of “The Spider” once and for all. We’re not saying it is foolproof, but we are saying that it has no discernible flaws whatsoever and Silva is a dead man.

Video after the jump. 


(Step 1: Fake heart attack to lower Anderson’s guard. Step 2: ?????? Step 3: SCORE GREATEST UPSET OF ALL TIME.) 

Admit it: When the new headliner for UFC 153 was first announced, not one of you thought Stephan Bonnar stood a chance of beating Anderson Silva, and you probably still don’t. If you happen to be a bookie, you probably equate the likelihood of Bonnar defeating Silva to that of Bob Sapp defeating adult onset vaginitis.

Well, my friends, prepare to have your minds blown, because Bonnar’s camp just released a video that lays out in intricate detail his plans to dethrone (figuratively speaking) the untouchable legacy of “The Spider” once and for all. We’re not saying it is foolproof, but we are saying that it has no discernible flaws whatsoever and Silva is a dead man.

Video after the jump. 

“Go underneath on him!” just replaced “ball up some fists” as the single greatest piece of training advice we have ever heard.

It was nice knowing you, Andy.

–J. Jones