(Hey, at least they’re actually doing something on this season of Whale Wars.)
A congratulations is in order to those of you who managed to submit an entry for our “Pull No Punches” caption contest; all 134 of you. If this contest showed us anything, it’s that when it comes to comedy, or at least an attempt at it, you Taters are some like-minded SOB’s. There were at least 95 horsemeat jokes (including one likely hipster who thought ironically pointing out this fact would somehow win him a shirt), 20 some odd Anthony Johnson or B.J. Penn jokes (which are always solid), and a handful of Over the Top references (which were actually pretty awesome). Since we enjoyed scanning through your entries as much as the UFC enjoys scanning through our articles to keep us in check, we must first recognize some of the captions that just fell short of T-shirt glory.
franco3445: The Nevada State Athletic Commission came to the conclusion that the only way Overeem could compete with the T/E ratio of 14 men was to go against someone the size of 14 men.
skeletor: There is no fucking way that Anthony Johnson is making weight this time.
P2: They smiled when they realized, if you use your left hand, it totally does feel like someone else is arm wrestling.
Deadpanda: Not to be outdone by the Japanese New Year’s Freak Show, US promoters put together a 4th of July event between Alistair Overeem & Joseph Son’s inflamed right testicle.
RwilsonR: We all know BJ lets himself go between fights, but I had no idea he stops shaving his back.
mcw89138: Ladies and gentlemen, say hello to the new main event for UFC 149.
BossNasty: Reem…It’s not polite to play with your food.
And now, to the winners…
(Hey, at least they’re actually doing something on this season of Whale Wars.)
A congratulations is in order to those of you who managed to submit an entry for our “Pull No Punches” caption contest; all 134 of you. If this contest showed us anything, it’s that when it comes to comedy, or at least an attempt at it, you Taters are some like-minded SOB’s. There were at least 95 horsemeat jokes (including one likely hipster who thought ironically pointing out this fact would somehow win him a shirt), 20 some odd Anthony Johnson or B.J. Penn jokes (which are always solid), and a handful of Over the Top references (which were actually pretty awesome). Since we enjoyed scanning through your entries as much as the UFC enjoys scanning through our articles to keep us in check, we must first recognize some of the captions that just fell short of T-shirt glory.
franco3445: The Nevada State Athletic Commission came to the conclusion that the only way Overeem could compete with the T/E ratio of 14 men was to go against someone the size of 14 men.
skeletor: There is no fucking way that Anthony Johnson is making weight this time.
P2: They smiled when they realized, if you use your left hand, it totally does feel like someone else is arm wrestling.
Deadpanda: Not to be outdone by the Japanese New Year’s Freak Show, US promoters put together a 4th of July event between Alistair Overeem & Joseph Son’s inflamed right testicle.
RwilsonR: We all know BJ lets himself go between fights, but I had no idea he stops shaving his back.
mcw89138: Ladies and gentlemen, say hello to the new main event for UFC 149.
BossNasty: Reem…It’s not polite to play with your food.
And now, to the winners…
flyingtriarmbarplada, for his pair of zingers that we simply could not choose between: ”Its good to see that Alistair doesnt hold anything against Valentijn for eating their mother.” and “if this gets him a chance at a title shot im switching to WWE..”
Sho Nuff, for the funniest TRT-related joke of the bunch: “Alistair: Look, how many times do I have to tell you people, neither myself nor my 8 year old son has ever taken steroids.”
And LOKI, for his absolutely brutal, way-too-soon assessment of Japan: “It seems the meltdown at Fukushima has already had a dramatic effect on the populous.”
My God, Loki, that was simply too dark to not warrant our praise. For you lucky few, make sure to send us your real name, shirt size, and mailing address to [email protected]and we’ll be sure to ship out your shirts ASAP. For serious this time. As for the rest of you, thanks again for the effort. If you call THAT effort. BWAHAHAHA!!
When we next see Brock Lesnar, will it be in the Octagon or the squared circle? What did “Cowboy” Cerrone do with the beanie Nate Diaz handed him? Where in the world did this Jimy Hettes guy come from? None of these questions will be answered in this forum. Instead, you’ll learn which UFC 141 fighters’ stock to buy more of, sell off, or hold. Even if you’re still too hung over to remember what happened Friday night, you’ll still need to make a few fiscal moves to stay ahead of the curve. Remember, money never sleeps, kid. Now go make yourself a Bloody Mary then keep reading to kick off the New Year with sage advice about the MMA stock market.
It makes no difference whether you think “The Reem” is completely unstoppable or flat out overrated — when he fights, people watch. Casual fans will be enamored with Alistair Overeem because he looks good with his shirt off (at least that’s why I think Arianny make that face) and the hype that can be drummed up by Zuffa thanks to his Strikeforce, DREAM, and K1 titles. For the next few years, as long as he doesn’t piss hot for some tainted horsemeat, the “Demolition Man” will be a main event attraction that will only make him more valuable with time.
(Hey Mario, is that some Jacks Links in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?)
When we next see Brock Lesnar, will it be in the Octagon or the squared circle? What did “Cowboy” Cerrone do with the beanie Nate Diaz handed him? Where in the world did this Jimy Hettes guy come from? None of these questions will be answered in this forum. Instead, you’ll learn which UFC 141 fighters’ stock to buy more of, sell off, or hold. Even if you’re still too hung over to remember what happened Friday night, you’ll still need to make a few fiscal moves to stay ahead of the curve. Remember, money never sleeps, kid. Now go make yourself a Bloody Mary then keep reading to kick off the New Year with sage advice about the MMA stock market.
It makes no difference whether you think “The Reem” is completely unstoppable or flat out overrated — when he fights, people watch. Casual fans will be enamored with Alistair Overeem because he looks good with his shirt off (at least that’s why I think Arianny make that face) and the hype that can be drummed up by Zuffa thanks to his Strikeforce, DREAM, and K1 titles. For the next few years, as long as he doesn’t piss hot for some tainted horsemeat, the “Demolition Man” will be a main event attraction that will only make him more valuable with time.
Brock Lesnar – Hold
Maybe it’s because of his pro wrestling background or because he wouldn’t be the first fighter to say one thing and do another, but I’m not sold that Brock Lesnar is retiring from competition. Some have suggested that once the larger-than-life beef jerky spokesman’s body and ego heal, he may decide otherwise and squeeze into his 4XL gloves one last time. Others, like UFC president Dana White, have pointed out that with the money he’s made over the years and what he has accomplished in such a short amount of time, Brock has nothing left to prove. Whatever side of the fence you sit on, don’t make any moves. If he comes back, you’ll be happy you didn’t bail, and if he shows up on RAW some Monday night in the not too distant future, I’m sure some booger-eating wrestling fan would be more than happy to take that stock off your hands.
Nate Diaz – Buy
What did I tell you? After dominating Donald Cerrone for three full rounds, people might start taking the Stockton native a bit more seriously. Nate Diaz played New York Giants to “Cowboy” Cerrone’s New England Patriots by spoiling a 5-0 run in 2011, and he enjoyed every minute of it. To borrow a line from his UFC 141 opponent, “The dude’s a warrior.” Look for Diaz to appear on a few broadcast TV events in 2012, as the UFC needs to showcase exciting fighters, which is the only kind Nate knows how to be. Winner of five FOTN and three SOTN bonuses, the Brazilian Jiu Jitsu brown belt is the type of guy who’s always in high demand, driving the price up. Get in now before he throws his beanie “in the mix” (or, you know, just hands it to someone after destroying them).
Donald “Cowboy” Cerrone – Buy
Since Donald Cerrone first stepped foot into the cage, only one guy has had his number, which is hardly a fault considering Ben Henderson is now heading to Japan where he’ll face UFC Lightweight champion Frankie Edgar. In 2011 alone, the Jackson’s MMA product fought four times more than GSP, winning all but one of his matches. So when he says he’s down to fight whenever, you know he honestly means it. You shouldn’t let a bad night in the Octagon shake your confidence in the future professional bull rider.
Jon Fitch – Zzzzzzzzz (Now he’s the one sleeping!)
It’s about time Jon Fitch was in an exciting match. According to the latest UFC Magazine, Fitch has landed 1,973 strikes in UFC competition — more than anyone in the promotion’s history. After his fight Saturday night in Vegas, he’s still landed 1,973 punches. Pay no attention to those who tell you, “He got caught, that’s all.” A loss is a loss here. He’ll never be a UFC champion, although he’s a superb talent. He won’t fight his teammates nor will he and Dana White ever go catch a movie together. Dump everything you have.
With an impressive 12-1 record, Hendricks is headed in the right direction at the right pace. Buy a few hundred shares of Hendricks Fight Sports at a modest price and watch for the dividends to mount. KO’ing John Fitch is a win he can hang his hat on, something that adds a welcome pop to his highlight reel for PPV trailers. 2012 will bring a wild range of match ups in the Welterweight division with GSP nursing his wounds. It’s not incredibly out of the realm of possibility for the two-time NCAA National champion to get a title shot.
The most notable thing about “The Kid” is that he looks a helluva lot like that guy from ‘The Social Network’. The second thing that stands out about Jimy Hettes he possesses superior judo skills for a brown belt. Rogan commented that he is probably “sandbagging at purple belt” referring to his BJJ. Holding a perfect 10-0 record, Hettes completely annihilated Nam Phan, bashing him time and again on the ground. This may be your first chance to truly buy into a commodity while the groundwork is still being laid. UFC Champion, 2012?
Nam Phan – Dump it like your autographed picture of Carrot Top
Sorry, I guess an Asian brother can’t get no love, Nam. You may have beat Leonard Garcia twice, but you fail to execute a logical gameplan against almost everyone and just can’t seem how to get a win against an opponent worthy of mentioning. It was fun while it lasted, but we can’t keep our money tied up in your services any longer.
("I also want a twenty percent senior’s discount on all UFC merchandise and a scooter to get me to the Octagon.")
When the UFC announced it would be holding a press conference in Brazil to announce that the promotion would be returning to the…
("I also want a twenty percent senior’s discount on all UFC merchandise and a scooter to get me to the Octagon.")
When the UFC announced it would be holding a press conference in Brazil to announce that the promotion would be returning to the South American birthplace of modern MMA to hold its first event since Ultimate Brazil on October 16, 1998, many were surprised to see UFC 1, 2 and 4 tournament champ Royce Gracie included in the festivities.
The fact that Royce was prominently positioned on the dais between fellow Brazilian MMA luminaries Mauricio "Shogun" Rua, Anderson Silva, Vitor Belfort and Jose Aldo didn’t rais any eyebrows, considering Gracie’s UFC Hall of membership and his family’s history with the promotion. It was the fact that the 44-year-old, who hasn’t competed since testing positive for steroids after his K-1 Dynamite!! USA bout with Kazushi Sakuraba in June 2007 revealed that he was interested in competing on the "UFC Rio" card.
In an interview he did with Sherdog yesterday, Gracie said that he is negotiating with the UFC to be included on the card, which will likely be at least half filled with Brazilian fighters.
According to Fighters Only who spoke to a source close to the situation, "it’s unlikely" that Gracie will be included on the card, but "anything is possible possible."
