(Damn, a Penn State alum *and* a blue belt under Lloyd Irvin? This is not looking good, Phil…)
I’m no The Mentalist (although I often get confused for him on the street. YOU DON’T KNOW.), but I always saw light heavyweight contender Phil Davis as a kind of introverted, dare I say “nerdy” guy who happens to be a freakishly gifted athlete. Despite the fact that he, you know, chokes dudes unconscious for a living, “Mr. Wonderful” always came off (to me, at least) as a guy who was ultimately harmless when he wasn’t locked in a cage with a dude trying to beat him within an inch of his life.
Well once again, it appears that I don’t know shit about shit. Just one day out from his UFC 159 battle with Vinny Magalhaes, Davis not only finds himself in the middle of a custody battle over his child, but refuting allegations of “crazy brutality, including violent sex” that said child’s mother believes stemmed from his martial arts career. TMZ reports:
According to legal docs — obtained by TMZ — Vantris Patterson claims Davis body slammed her on a couch with such force … when the couch slid into the wall paint came off. And Patterson says, Davis — aka Mr. Wonderful — would often choke her during intercourse, and when she’d plead with him to stop he’d respond, “Shut the f*** up, bitch.” She says Davis has threatened to kill her numerous times if she ever slept with another man.
Now here’s the hook — Patterson claims Davis’ alleged propensity for violence has escalated because of his involvement in the UFC. She says, “I am afraid that the numerous fights have negatively impacted his mental stability,” and she can’t defend herself because of his “increased strength and attacking ability.”
And if you think that’s crazy, just wait until you hear the allegations Davis lobbed back at Patterson in response…
(Damn, a Penn State alum *and* a blue belt under Lloyd Irvin? This is not looking good, Phil…)
I’m no The Mentalist (although I often get confused for him on the street. YOU DON’T KNOW.), but I always saw light heavyweight contender Phil Davis as a kind of introverted, dare I say “nerdy” guy who happens to be a freakishly gifted athlete. Despite the fact that he, you know, chokes dudes unconscious for a living, “Mr. Wonderful” always came off (to me, at least) as a guy who was ultimately harmless when he wasn’t locked in a cage with a dude trying to beat him within an inch of his life.
Well once again, it appears that I don’t know shit about shit. Just one day out from his UFC 159 battle with Vinny Magalhaes, Davis not only finds himself in the middle of a custody battle over his child, but refuting allegations of “crazy brutality, including violent sex” that said child’s mother believes stemmed from his martial arts career. TMZ reports:
According to legal docs — obtained by TMZ — Vantris Patterson claims Davis body slammed her on a couch with such force … when the couch slid into the wall paint came off. And Patterson says, Davis — aka Mr. Wonderful — would often choke her during intercourse, and when she’d plead with him to stop he’d respond, “Shut the f*** up, bitch.” She says Davis has threatened to kill her numerous times if she ever slept with another man.
Now here’s the hook — Patterson claims Davis’ alleged propensity for violence has escalated because of his involvement in the UFC. She says, “I am afraid that the numerous fights have negatively impacted his mental stability,” and she can’t defend herself because of his “increased strength and attacking ability.”
And if you think that’s crazy, just wait until you hear the allegations Davis lobbed back at Patterson in response…
Davis makes his own claims … that Patterson is the violent one who put a pic of a Glock up on Facebook and wrote, “… His day will come.” He also says she texted him, “I can’t wait until the day you die so I can spit in ur face [painful and slow].”
It would be pretty obvious to start making comparisons between Davis and Brett Rogers here, but it should be noted that Davis hasn’t actually been charged with anything as of this write up. What could potentially play a factor in these “violent sex” allegations, however, is the fact that Davis is a blue belt under Lloyd Irvin. Yes, that Lloyd Irvin.
We’re not saying this tenuous connection proves Davis’ guilt in the matter, but at the same time, the influential ability of a coach is not something that should be taken lightly (ask anyone’s who ever played football under Mike Ditka) and given all the allegations being aimed at Irvin and his students in recent months, it’s a connection that will most surely come to surface in the couple’s custody battle on May 7th in San Diego. God damn it, did I just unintentionally provide the Culinary Union with another article to pull out-of-context quotes from? My bad, you guys.
As for how this will possibly affect Davis’ performance against Magalhaes tomorrow, well, I’ve already been pretty clear on that.
We will keep you updated on this story as it develops.
(“How ’bout we say ‘triangle choke, round 2.’ I’ve got a t-shirt riding on this.” / Photo via MMAFighting.com)
With UFC 159 slated for tomorrow night, CagePotato founding editor Ben Goldstein and beloved CP staff writer Jared Jones have teamed up to argue about all the important themes surrounding the event. So how will the absurd light-heavyweight title fight end, exactly? What will happen if Alan Belcher actually lets Michael Bisping take a free shot to his face? Can the third women’s UFC fight possibly live up to the first two? How many more fights can Leonard Garcia lose before the UFC gives him the ol’ heave-ho? Read on, and throw down your own opinions in the comments section.
Will Jon Jones immediately demolish Chael Sonnen, or will he play around with Chael a little before demolishing him? And will Chael retire after the loss?
BG: I rarely make sweeping statements about who will win an MMA fight because 1) anything can happen in this crazy sport, and 2) the things you write on the Internet often come back to haunt you. But yes, Jon Jones will win this fight. I absolutely guarantee it. Sonnen’s best weapon — his relentless wrestling attack — will dash apart against Jones’s own wrestling, which is precision-tuned for the sport of MMA. Quickly out of options, Chael will throw his patented “I give up” spinning backfist, fall down against the cage, and will whisper a quick prayer to his God before Jones literally eats him and shits him out. And I do mean literally, okay? Literally.
I’m leaning towards a quick beat-down in this fight rather than an extended clowning, because Jones takes his job too seriously to “play around” with an opponent. (He’s not exactly Mr. Fun, we’ve noticed.) And once Chael feels the power of a large light-heavyweight, he’ll realize what a bad idea this whole thing was in the first place. To exit the sport directly after another humiliation wouldn’t fit in with Sonnen’s blustery self-image, so I think he’ll take at least one more fight — maybe at middleweight, maybe at light-heavyweight — before calling it quits. Once he starts losing to non-champions, he’ll wisely make the switch to full-time UFC talking head and occasional hair-texture tester.
JJ: Mark my words, this fight will be Jon Jones’s UFC 97 (or UFC 112, depending on which fight you thought was worse). Jones may not be a fun-loving guy, as you stated, but it also appears that the tryptophan-induced honeymoon between these two TUF coaches has passed, leaving behind only apathy in its wake. If you’ve noticed in the past, the foes “Bones knows” on a personal level seem to last the longest in the cage with him (Rampage, Rashad) — perhaps out of respect, perhaps because they are both tough as hell — so I think we should start preparing ourselves for a tepid, five-round affair highlighted by Bones’s jab and Sonnen’s desperate attempts to convert a single leg.
And when all is said and done, Sonnen will snatch the mic out of Joe Rogan’s hand, and in an attempt to mimic [enter professional wrestler name here]’s infamous retirement speech, will announce that, and I quote:
(“How ’bout we say ‘triangle choke, round 2.’ I’ve got a t-shirt riding on this.” / Photo via MMAFighting.com)
With UFC 159 slated for tomorrow night, CagePotato founding editor Ben Goldstein and beloved CP staff writer Jared Jones have teamed up to argue about all the important themes surrounding the event. So how will the absurd light-heavyweight title fight end, exactly? What will happen if Alan Belcher actually lets Michael Bisping take a free shot to his face? Can the third women’s UFC fight possibly live up to the first two? How many more fights can Leonard Garcia lose before the UFC gives him the ol’ heave-ho? Read on, and throw down your own opinions in the comments section.
Will Jon Jones immediately demolish Chael Sonnen, or will he play around with Chael a little before demolishing him? And will Chael retire after the loss?
BG: I rarely make sweeping statements about who will win an MMA fight because 1) anything can happen in this crazy sport, and 2) the things you write on the Internet often come back to haunt you. But yes, Jon Jones will win this fight. I absolutely guarantee it. Sonnen’s best weapon — his relentless wrestling attack — will dash apart against Jones’s own wrestling, which is precision-tuned for the sport of MMA. Quickly out of options, Chael will throw his patented “I give up” spinning backfist, fall down against the cage, and will whisper a quick prayer to his God before Jones literally eats him and shits him out. And I do mean literally, okay? Literally.
I’m leaning towards a quick beat-down in this fight rather than an extended clowning, because Jones takes his job too seriously to “play around” with an opponent. (He’s not exactly Mr. Fun, we’ve noticed.) And once Chael feels the power of a large light-heavyweight, he’ll realize what a bad idea this whole thing was in the first place. To exit the sport directly after another humiliation wouldn’t fit in with Sonnen’s blustery self-image, so I think he’ll take at least one more fight — maybe at middleweight, maybe at light-heavyweight — before calling it quits. Once he starts losing to non-champions, he’ll wisely make the switch to full-time UFC talking head and occasional hair-texture tester.
JJ: Mark my words, this fight will be Jon Jones’s UFC 97 (or UFC 112, depending on which fight you thought was worse). Jones may not be a fun-loving guy, as you stated, but it also appears that the tryptophan-induced honeymoon between these two TUF coaches has passed, leaving behind only apathy in its wake. If you’ve noticed in the past, the foes “Bones knows” on a personal level seem to last the longest in the cage with him (Rampage, Rashad) — perhaps out of respect, perhaps because they are both tough as hell — so I think we should start preparing ourselves for a tepid, five-round affair highlighted by Bones’s jab and Sonnen’s desperate attempts to convert a single leg.
And when all is said and done, Sonnen will snatch the mic out of Joe Rogan’s hand, and in an attempt to mimic [enter professional wrestler name here]’s infamous retirement speech, will announce that, and I quote:
I just got a call from Dana, he said ‘Chael, I think it’s time to hang ‘em up.’ ‘You see, You’re overpaid, and at light-heavy, you kind of suck.’ ‘You’ve been losing fights, without much brain or brawn And your WWE-shtick is starting to make fans yawn’ ‘I mean, no one’s coming to see you in living rooms or bars, Maybe you should stick to MMA Tonight, or become a pro-wrasslin superstar.’ He handed me a pink slip, a FOTN-bonus, his ATM card and pin. He said, ‘Chael, take it all, then get the fuck back to West Linn.’ I thought for a moment and I said, ‘I’ll tell ya’ what, Uncle D.’
‘You need not worry, for these arms and these charms, you will not again see.’
If Leonard Garcia vs. Cody McKenzie ends in anything but a Fight of the Year-earning draw, someone is getting fired, right? Right?! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, SOMEONE TELL ME I’M RIGHT.
JJ: You’re right, so take a step away from the ledge, brosef. If Cody McKenzie loses, he’s getting axed (or should I say, GUILLOTINED…*crickets*…damn, play me off, Johnny!) for sure. Common logic dictates it. McKenzie’s three losses in his past four contests dictate it. The almighty chart even dictates it. As a big fan of the TUF 12 alum/thorn in Josh Koscheck’s ass, it saddens me to realize that McKenzie could possibly receive his walking papers on account of a guy whose continued employment undermines the newly-established firing policy of the organization he is fighting for. Then again, if McKenzie can’t beat Garcia – and the oddsmakers seem to think he won’t — perhaps he doesn’t really belong in the UFC anyway.
As for Garcia, well, I’m convinced by now that he could walk out in a banana hammock puffing a blunt on Saturday, get choked out in the first 30 seconds, and test positive for bath salts in the aftermath of his vehicular rampage across southern California and still not get fired. I’ve got nothing against the guy – he’s consistently entertaining to his own detriment (a common trait among my favorite fighters) and I honestly think Max Holloway was “blessed” *crickets, tumbleweeds* with the decision in their fight at UFC 155. At this point, we should just start asking ourselves which will come first: Garcia’s firing or the legalization of MMA in New York? Honestly, I’m picking the latter.
BG: I’ll just argue on the side of logic then. Nobody in UFC history has lost five consecutive fights and kept their contract, and Garcia won’t be the one to break that trend. And it doesn’t matter if the fight is a barnburner — even if it wins Fight of the Night, the UFC will finally realize that Garcia is a guy who can’t even beat the Cody McKenzies of the world, and cut him loose. To do otherwise would be goddamned unseemly. Even Garcia seems to be preparing for the inevitable. (I feel it’s my duty to point out that Garcia would currently be on a seven-fight losing streak if he wasn’t gifted those ill-gotten wins over Chan Sung Jung and Nam Phan in 2010.)
McKenzie has a little more wiggle room because he’s not carrying the same kind of lengthy losing streak into this fight; at least he can say he’s won a match in the last 12 months. Cody is goofy and likable, and most importantly, cheap. If he loses in a hard-fought battle — especially if he gets screwed by the judges, which is always a possibility when you’re fighting Leonard Garcia — I say he keeps his job.
Alan Belcher recently released a video where he said, “Michael Bisping couldn’t hurt me with his best punch solid to my chin…There will be at least one time in the fight where I’m just going to drop my hands and say ‘come on man, give it your best shot’.” We already know that this sort of thing is a bad idea. How bad of an idea is it against Bisping specifically, and will you cheer if Bisping knocks Belcher the fuck out for trying it?
BG: Bisping may not be known for his one-punch knockout power, and maybe Belcher could get away with giving the Count a free one. (If you’ll recall, Chris Leben tried the exact same thing against Bisping and avoided a KO, although he was on PCP at the time or something.) But let’s be honest: This is a straight-up asshole move, and it puts Belcher in danger for absolutely no reason. Dismissing your opponent’s power is one of the surest ways to get dicknailed by karma. Personally, I’ll be laughing my ass off if it actually happens. But considering that Bisping has been his usual charming self in the leadup to this fight, I’ll be pretty satisfied if the Count gets knocked out instead. For the record, I don’t think anybody’s going to sleep in this one: Bisping by decision.
JJ: I’d like to think that Belcher possesses the kind of standup skills to put Bisping in all sorts of trouble, but methinks Belcher might be a little out of his league, like Jorge Rivera and Jason Miller before him. His biggest victory in his UFC career was arguably his trouncing of Rousimar Palhares, who isn’t exactly as feared by his middleweight counterparts as he once was. While Bisping has lost most of his fights against elite-level competition, he’s also faced a hell of a lot more elite competition than Belcher.
Will Belcher make good on his promise? Perhaps in the early going, but Bisping will probably be too content with his jab-n-jog strategy to even take him up on the offer. Will Bisping eventually knock him out? It’s hard to tell — the only guy to ever TKO Belcher in the UFC was Jason Day, who was also the last person Bisping was able to finish in the first round. MMA Math determines that Bisping will run through Belcher, but I think we should expect to see Bisping exploit Belcher’s subpar wrestling en route to a dominant but ultimately unsatisfying decision victory. In either case, the day I find myself cheering for Bisping will be the day that Nick Diaz gets his real estate license.
Is it possible for the UFC’s third WMMA fight to exceed our expectations given how amazing the first two were? Or has the bar been set at an unreachable level for Sara McMann and Sheila Gaff to achieve?
JJ: I’m of two minds about how the UFC has decided to introduce WMMA into their brand. On one hand, sprinkling female fights on various cards here and there is an idea that I am coming around to more and more each day. By simply introducing the fight as another fight, it makes the gender issue a non-issue and puts a lot of pressure on the ladies to perform, which has resulted in two amazing fights thus far. On the other hand, it does set the bar so high that you just know some fans out there are waiting for the slightest slip up — a slightly boring fight, perhaps — to write off the sport entirely.
That being said, how exciting this fight ends up being depends heavily on which fighter is able to keep the fight in their realm. If Sara McMann is able to use her Olympic wrestling pedigree to take Sheila Gaff down at will (which, again, she is heavily favored to do), this fight might not wind up being the most exciting thing in the world. But if Gaff is able to keep things standing and unleash her Tazmanian Devil offense, we could witness the first “Knockout of the Night” in UFC-WMMA history. If that doesn’t silence some haters, I don’t know what will.
BG: As much as I like Sara McMann as a human being — I don’t know her personally, but she just seems like a super lady — I agree that a quick, vicious knockout from Sheila Gaff is probably the best-case scenario here, if the goal is to convince skeptical UFC fans that anything is possible in a women’s fight. And Gaff can certainly make that happen, as she possesses a level of punching power that’s downright Rothenhauslerian.
But look, there’s a reason this fight is on the FX prelims instead of the main card. As you hinted at above, a measured, wrestling-based gameplan from McMann will likely be the story of this fight, and the UFC is hedging a little just in case it’s a dull affair. It’s overly dramatic to suggest that the marketability of women in the UFC will be affected much by this bout, but it’s kind of up to Sara McMann to make this a memorable fight. If she takes Gaff down and TKOs or submits her, it’ll be a good one. If she stands and bangs, it’ll be a good one. If she just lays on top of Gaff for three rounds or executes some Cormier-style wall-and-stall, it won’t be good — not for the viewers at home, and not for McMann’s immediate title prospects.
BG: Get the fuck out of here. Whether Magalhaes has more “skills” than Davis (as he claims) is debatable. What isn’t is that Davis has so much more relevant experience in the Octagon. I like how Magalhaes rags on Davis for not fighting anybody who was really good at grappling or striking — conveniently forgetting Davis’s wins over Antonio Rogerio Nogueira and Alexander Gustafsson, it seems. Meanwhile, we’re supposed to give Vinny respect because of one UFC victory against Igor Pokrajac and a few wins over some Russian talent in M-1 Challenge? This is a huge step up in competition for Magalhaes. I really hope he’s taking it seriously, because he’s got his work cut out for him.
JJ: How can you talk about the 1X DEFENDING M-1 LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT G.O.A.T like that, bro? Vinny Magalhaes hangs out with Chael “The World’s Most Dangerous Man Fuck You Ken Shamrock” Sonnen and beats up Russians in his spare time. Russians, you guys. They’re like 5/6ths human, 1/3rd cyborg, and two-parts archangel on average, and you think Magalhaes can’t handle some pink tights-sporting pair of clownshoes who looks like Starvin Marvin and packs even less punching power?
We might detest him for it, but Vinny Magalhaes is about to single-handedly shatter the myth that things like “fighter rankings” or “octagon experience” or “notable wins” matter in a UFC fight. And it all begins with his first round, SOTY-earning gogoplata victory over Davis on Saturday.
Rustam Khabilov (a.k.a SLAM duh duuh duuh) is fighting a guy named Yancy.Yancy. Discuss.
JJ: Looks like I’ll have to revamp my “Worst Draws for a UFC Debut” article.It probably sucked anyway. But yeah, Yancy.
Khabilov by Khalibomb (Khalima-bomb?) at three seconds into the first.
BG: Yancy. It’s like “Nancy,” but with a Y. Personally, I’m more interested that Yancy Medeiros hasn’t competed in three years, and he’s dropping two weight classes for this fight, and his nickname is “Frisson.” But yeah, Yancy’s screwed here. Khabilov will throw him. How Yancy lands is his business.
BG: Nelson will win by KO, setting up a fight against Mark Hunt for the UFC’s inaugural HeavyDWeight Championship.
JJ: Trick question: Nelson by DQ after his testicles are literally kneed out of his scrotum by Kongo. Joe Rogan will then enter the octagon, scoop up Nelson’s testicles, and force Arianny and Brittney to eat them while the audience cheers them on.
Thomson hasn’t competed in the UFC since his 2-1 stint for the promotion in 2003-2004, which ended in an unfortunate/incredible highlight-reel knockout against Yves Edwards. Since then, “The Punk” has spent most of his career fighting for Strikeforce, where he built an entertaining rivalry against Diaz’s training partner (and UFC on FOX 7 title challenger) Gilbert Melendez. Thomson briefly held Strikeforce’s lightweight title after winning a decision against Melendez in June 2008, and has picked up wins over Pat Healy, Gesias Cavalcante, and KJ Noons since then. His most recent appearance resulted in a split-decision loss to Melendez during their rubber-match last May.
Of course, the other thing Thomson is known for is his frequent injuries, and there’s a lot that can go wrong between now and 4/20. Let’s hope this one sticks together. In related news, the UFC has added three big matchups to their UFC 159: Jones vs. Sonnen card, which takes place the following weekend (April 27th) in Newark, NJ…
Thomson hasn’t competed in the UFC since his 2-1 stint for the promotion in 2003-2004, which ended in an unfortunate/incredible highlight-reel knockout against Yves Edwards. Since then, “The Punk” has spent most of his career fighting for Strikeforce, where he built an entertaining rivalry against Diaz’s training partner (and UFC on FOX 7 title challenger) Gilbert Melendez. Thomson briefly held Strikeforce’s lightweight title after winning a decision against Melendez in June 2008, and has picked up wins over Pat Healy, Gesias Cavalcante, and KJ Noons since then. His most recent appearance resulted in a split-decision loss to Melendez during their rubber-match last May.
Of course, the other thing Thomson is known for is his frequent injuries, and there’s a lot that can go wrong between now and 4/20. Let’s hope this one sticks together. In related news, the UFC has added three big matchups to their UFC 159: Jones vs. Sonnen card, which takes place the following weekend (April 27th) in Newark, NJ…
– Riding back-to-back knockout wins over Dave Herman and Matt Mitrione, Roy Nelson will be bringing his powerful fists and ratty-ass gray beard to UFC 159 against Cheick Kongo, who’s coming off his award-winning decision win over Shawn Jordan at UFC 149. [source]
– Speaking of bearded white guys: Fresh off his epic battle with Joe Lauzon at UFC 155, Jim Miller will look to make it two in a row against former Strikeforce lightweight contender (and long-lost twin) Pat Healy, who has won his last six fights. Winner gets TJ Grant, I guess? [source]
– And finally, top light-heavyweight contender Phil Davis and BJJ ace Vinny Magalhaes will also face off at UFC 159, settling their ongoing twitter beef. (More on that here.) Davis last competed in October when he submitted Wagner Prado at UFC 153, while Magalhaes made a successful return to the UFC in September, tapping Igor Pokrajac at UFC 152. [source]
So which fight are you most looking forward to, and how do you think they’ll turn out?
UFC light heavyweight Vinny Magalhaes, his spiritual leader Eddie Bravo and middleweight light heavyweight title challenger Chael Sonnen should just go ahead and form a trolling-themed old-school pro wrestling stable with one another already. Chael’s verbal and written nonsense are well documented, as is Bravo’s weed-induced outlandish comedy/self-promotion.
For his part, Vinny has shown every indication that he’s learned a lot from both of them after studying Jiu Jitsu with Bravo and being in camp with Chael. The Brazilian is no stranger to going on The Underground and writing attention-grabbing posts that are often tongue in cheek.
Ahead of helping Sonnen prepare for his recently announced April title fight against Jon Jones, however, Vinny has turned up the troll volume. In a recent interview with Aaron Tru, Vinny managed to insult Jones and Vitor Belfort, as well as back down from a recent twitter request of his to fight Phil Davis. Check out Tru’s video interview for the Davis back-tracking and more. Here’s a choice nugget where Magalhaes professes his undying faith in Chael Sonnen’s submission abilities (?):
UFC light heavyweight Vinny Magalhaes, his spiritual leader Eddie Bravo and middleweight light heavyweight title challenger Chael Sonnen should just go ahead and form a trolling-themed old-school pro wrestling stable with one another already. Chael’s verbal and written nonsense are well documented, as is Bravo’s weed-induced outlandish comedy/self-promotion.
For his part, Vinny has shown every indication that he’s learned a lot from both of them after studying Jiu Jitsu with Bravo and being in camp with Chael. The Brazilian is no stranger to going on The Underground and writing attention-grabbing posts that are often tongue in cheek.
Ahead of helping Sonnen prepare for his recently announced April title fight against Jon Jones, however, Vinny has turned up the troll volume. In a recent interview with Aaron Tru, Vinny managed to insult Jones and Vitor Belfort, as well as back down from a recent twitter request of his to fight Phil Davis. Check out Tru’s video interview for the Davis back-tracking and more. Here’s a choice nugget where Magalhaes professes his undying faith in Chael Sonnen’s submission abilities (?):
“After watching Jon’s last fight I could just tell Chael to pull guard and he’s going to be likely to submit Jones,” Vinny told Tru.
“Jones, I don’t know. I’m not going to disrespect the guy. He’s got an excellent over all game. Incredible athlete. He’s super young so he can get better…but his ground, in his last fight, was a little suspect. He got caught in an arm bar by a guy who is not known for having great Jiu Jitsu for MMA…I don’t think Jones has that kind of guard, to handle a guy with an incredible guard.”
That may be the case but we’re not sure what fighters with “incredible guards” have to do with Chael Sonnen unless we’re talking about the scores of people who have them and have submitted Sonnen off of their backs.
What do you think, ‘taters?
Has Chael Sonnen been hiding an amazing guard game behind his sub-par submission defense all of these years?
(Matt Hamill plays airplane with his freakishly large, Progeria-ridden child after defeating Roger Hollett earlier in the evening.)
It may be a futile effort to draft up these Armchair Matchmakers given the chaos that injuries are creating at every turn these days, but God damn it, a comedic MMA website has to have its principles! So with that in mind, we decided to scour through the wreckage left behind by UFC 152 and provide some potential opponents for the UFC to consider when booking the night’s biggest winners down the line. Join us and voice your opinions in the comments section, won’t you?
Jon Jones: Despite his best trolling efforts, it appears as if the UFC will actually show some common sense and wait to see if Chael Sonnen can at least defeat one “contender” at 205 (you know, the one he’s supposed to face) before expediting him right to a title shot because the fans apparently control the matchups all of a sudden. We were all for Sonnen/Jones on 8 days notice, but it’s clear that Jones only has two opponents truly worthy of getting ground into dog meat by him next. The first is Dan Henderson, who Jones blamed for the whole UFC 151 fiasco in the first place. He’s clearly next in line in a division that is suddenly absent of marketable contenders (sorry, Alex) and will hopefully be back to his normal H-bombing self before osteoporosis sets in and we have to go through this all over again. The second option…well, let’s just say that he would give Jones an offer that he could neither refuse nor defend. Specifically, “Five of these across the sneeze.”
(Matt Hamill plays airplane with his freakishly large, Progeria-ridden child after defeating Roger Hollett earlier in the evening.)
It may be a futile effort to draft up these Armchair Matchmakers given the chaos that injuries are creating at every turn these days, but God damn it, a comedic MMA website has to have its principles! So with that in mind, we decided to scour through the wreckage left behind by UFC 152 and provide some potential opponents for the UFC to consider when booking the night’s biggest winners down the line. Join us and voice your opinions in the comments section, won’t you?
Jon Jones: Despite his best trolling efforts, it appears as if the UFC will actually show some common sense and wait to see if Chael Sonnen can at least defeat one “contender” at 205 (you know, the one he’s supposed to face) before expediting him right to a title shot because the fans apparently control the matchups all of a sudden. We were all for Sonnen/Jones on 8 days notice, but it’s clear that Jones only has two opponents truly worthy of getting ground into dog meat by him next. The first is Dan Henderson, who Jones blamed for the whole UFC 151 fiasco in the first place. He’s clearly next in line in a division that is suddenly absent of marketable contenders (sorry, Alex) and will hopefully be back to his normal H-bombing self before osteoporosis sets in and we have to go through this all over again. The second option…well, let’s just say that he would give Jones an offer that he could neither refuse nor defend. Specifically, “Five of these across the sneeze.”
Demetrious Johnson: Dana White announced at the UFC 152 post-fight press conference that the winner of John “Clown Baby” Dodson vs. Jussier “Formiga” da Silva will more than likely be next in line for a flyweight title shot, a match that Johnson stated he will be watching with vested interest as well. So that’s that.
Michael Bisping: We know, we know; we previously stated that if Bisping wanted to get slaughtered by Anderson Silva next then we should let him do it and in fact cheer him on. But let’s be real here, Taters, Anderson doesn’t reallygive two shits about the middleweight division right meow, and IFhe gets past Stephan Bonnar at UFC 153, he will spend the remainder of his time shooting movies and waiting for the GSP superfight that may never come. And besides those facts, does anyone honestly think Bisping has earned a shot at Silva? He’s currently on a 1-0 (decision) win streak and just beat his first top 10 opponent in…ever. We say give him the winner of Chris Weidman vs. Tim Boetsch while Anderson is off doing his thing.
Matt Hamill: Even though he turned in a pretty poor performance against Roger Hollett last Saturday, one of you were quick to point out that “The Hammer” set the UFC record for significant strikes landed in a LHW fight with 124. That’s great and all, but the fact that 90% of those strikes were landed to the head of a downed and fetal Hollett without at least TKO’ing him doesn’t exactly speak volumes of Hamill’s power. Granted, it was Hamill’s first fight in over a year, so maybe we shouldn’t be so harsh on him. The fact still remains, however, that the TUF 3 alum still has a lot of kinks to work out, and we think the perfect matchup for him would be none other than former CP blogger Ryan Jimmo, who is coming off a 7-second destruction of Anthony Perosh in his UFC debut and has a wide open dance card. A win for either man would be a big step in the right direction.
Cub Swanson: Tweaked knee or no tweaked knee, Charles Oliveira got straight up embarrassed by Swanson last weekend, and it’s time to give Cub the step up in competition he has feared since Jose Aldo stole his eyebrow and took it home to Brazil. Working with Greg Jackson has improved his game in leaps and bounds, so why not match him up against a former “title contender” in Eric Koch? Injuries have kept Koch out of action for over a year now and he could use a win over a streaking fighter like Swanson to prove that he was title-worthy in the first place. Again, it’s a good fit for all involved and screams fireworks, so start Twitter-bombing DW with requests and make it happen!
Vinny Magalhaes: The TUF 8 finalist looked great in his grand return to Zuffa, taking advantage of a huge mental error by Igor Pokrajac (apparently he has a lot of those) to secure a brilliant armbar finish. He’s been seeking UFC redemption ever since he was released by the promotion, so a fight with Ryan Bader a.k.a the man who dashed his TUF dreams seems like a pretty smart move. Bader was just knocked out of contendership by Lyoto Machida at UFC on FOX 4 and will be looking for some redemption of his own. However, if you’re not a big fan of rematches, pairing Magalhaes against James Te Huna would be a great litmus test for both men. Te Huna needs to prove that he can hang with the best on the ground if he is ever to be considered a legit contender and Vinny could use another win over a solid standup fighter to erase the memories of the “tuck-n-roll” loss that dominates Bader’s highlight reel.
T.J. Grant: It might surprise you to learn that Grant has been fighting int he UFC for over three years now, but has gone overlooked by almost every fight fan for his somewhat lackluster fighting style and lack of finishes. Even though he did not finish Evan Dunham in their FOTN-earning war on Saturday, it’s safe to say that Grant is finally a name that UFC fans can get excited about. Now 3-0 at 155 lbs., Grant’s striking, cardio, and chin looked phenomenal against Dunham, and he should look to keep the momentum rolling against another exciting lightweight. The first name that comes to mind is Jamie Varner, who followed a gigantic win over Edson Barboza with a hard fought third round triangle loss to Joe Lauzon, also at UFC on FOX 4. A former WEC champion, Varner is just the kind of name that Grant could build his name off. On the other side of the coin, a win over a fellow vet like Grant could give Varner’s confidence an additional boost while keeping him relevant in his new home.
Marcus Brimage: He’s knocked two hype trains off the rails in as many matches; let’s see him try and do it again. Although Dustin Poirier‘s train suffered a significant setback in his loss to Chan Sung Jung at UFC on FUEL 3, he is still easily top 5 material. If Brimage can manage to upset Poirier, or even give an impressive showing against him, there will be no denying his future in the division.
Any matchups you think we missed? Let us know in the comments section.
(Oh man. That kick was about six inches away from being the greatest DQ of all time.)
In case you missed Saturday night’s action, we’ve compiled 12 of UFC 152‘s best highlights in GIF form, from the gnarly stoppages to the memorable post-fight moments. Follow the “next page” links starting after the jump, or just use the direct links below. Special thanks to BloodyElbow and Cameldog for the hookups.
(Oh man. That kick was about six inches away from being the greatest DQ of all time.)
In case you missed Saturday night’s action, we’ve compiled 12 of UFC 152‘s best highlights in GIF form, from the gnarly stoppages to the memorable post-fight moments. Follow the “next page” links starting below, or just use the direct links below. Special thanks to BloodyElbow and Cameldog for the hookups.
