Martial Arts Fail of the Week: The Mystic Art of Bo Fung Do

What, you haven’t heard of Bo Fung Do? Are you some kind of martial arts hobbyist or something? We only cater to hardcore fans at CagePotato, so here’s the rundown:

Bo Fung Do is “a martial art system geared for practical self defense against one or more opponents.” It’s a Wing Chun offshoot whose name means “The Way of the Sudden Storm.”

Judging by the above video, there’s no better way to prepare for a street fight against multiple opponents than to flail at opponents adorned in more padding than a self-conscious teenage girl’s bra.

Actually, we’re not being fair. There’s another crucial aspect to this ancient, prestigious art:  Fighting in front of some strobe lights while being blasted with fake snow. See a video of it after the jump.

What, you haven’t heard of Bo Fung Do? Are you some kind of martial arts hobbyist or something? We only cater to hardcore fans at CagePotato, so here’s the rundown:

Bo Fung Do is “a martial art system geared for practical self defense against one or more opponents.” It’s a Wing Chun offshoot whose name means “The Way of the Sudden Storm.”

Judging by the above video, there’s no better way to prepare for a street fight against multiple enemies than to flail at opponents adorned in more padding than a self-conscious teenage girl’s bra.

Actually, we’re not being fair. There’s another crucial aspect to this ancient, prestigious art:  Fighting in front of some strobe lights while being blasted with fake snow.

To be fair, this isn’t the worst school we’ve seen on Martial Arts Fail. The facilities these guys have (the foam padded rooms, the environmental hazard rooms) are actually pretty cool. It’d be interesting to train some real martial arts in those rooms to see what it’s like to fight on a hard surface in the rain rather than open mat space or in a cage. And it’s good that they’re at least trying to do some full contact…they just do it wrong. Look at the video. What is that going to teach the guy getting “attacked?” If three dudes were trying to beat you down, they wouldn’t be awkwardly smothering you, they’d be stomping the shit out of you and punching you. And they wouldn’t be easily dispatched by some slaps either.

The verdict on Bo Fung Do? Their hearts are in the right place, but pretty much everything else is as far from real fighting as you can get. Check out the rest of their YouTube channel to see what we mean.

If you see any video that’s good (or bad) enough to make the cut, let us know! Send it to [email protected].

Martial Arts Fail of the Week: Defeating Boxers is THIS Easy

It’s Saturday! Do you know what that means? A day off from the drudgery of office life in middle class America? A lackluster UFC card with a $60 price tag? Unfit for television jobber matches on UFC fight pass? None of these. Saturday means CagePotato’s Martial Arts Fail of the Week!

Last time, we had a bona fide ninja (or as bona fide as a ninja can be) teach us one of Ninjitsu’s most esoteric guard passes. This week, however, we’re revisiting an old friend—Master Wong, of “don’t poke him in the eye or he’ll kill your whole family” fame.

It’s Saturday! Do you know what that means? A day off from the drudgery of office life in middle class America? A lackluster UFC card with a $60 price tag? Unfit for television jobber matches on UFC fight pass? None of these. Saturday means CagePotato’s Martial Arts Fail of the Week!

Last time, we had a bona fide ninja (or as bona fide as a ninja can be) teach us one of Ninjitsu’s most esoteric guard passes. This week, however, we’re revisiting an old friend—Master Wong, of “don’t poke him in the eye or he’ll kill your whole family” fame.

What is the Master teaching us this week? How to best boxers in a street fight. But these boxers are special. They pump “steroids up the asshole” and still wear their boxing gloves  while fighting in parking lots (so they don’t break their hands and ruin their ability to “grab titty”). What’s Master Wong’s secret to putting down pugilists? Is it takedowns? Leg kicks? You’ll have to watch and see. We promise that it’s worth you’re time. We give the video the CagePotato Guarantee™.

 

If you see any video that’s good (or bad) enough to make the cut, let us know! Send it to [email protected]

Martial Arts Fail of the Week: Don’t Use Eye Pokes Because the Guy Will Kill Your Family

Last time on CagePotato’s Martial Arts Fail of the Week, we covered absurd and downright dangerous (for you, not the other guy) knife defense techniques.

This week, we’re highlighting an amazing character by the name of “Master Wong“—a Jeet Kune Do, Wing Chun, and Tai Chi expert.

To be fair, the techniques in the video aren’t the worst we’ve seen; they’re the standard sort of compliant, “street” self-defense training that’s peddled in poor martial arts schools across the country. What makes Master Wong’s stylings so notable are his incomprehensible accent (Tito Ortiz-level of poor English) and his insane assertions, such as “you can’t knee fucking shit” and his claims about how poking a man in the eye means he’ll kill your family.

This video is worth a watch, trust us. It’s bad martial arts combined with ridiculous engrish—a win-win! He’s got loads of others too. They’re not quite as good as the one above, but are still fun.

If you see any video that’s good (or bad) enough to make the cut, let us know! Send it to [email protected]

Last time on CagePotato’s Martial Arts Fail of the Week, we covered absurd and downright dangerous (for you, not the other guy) knife defense techniques.

This week, we’re highlighting an amazing character by the name of “Master Wong“—a Jeet Kune Do, Wing Chun, and Tai Chi expert.

To be fair, the techniques in the video aren’t the worst we’ve seen; they’re the standard sort of compliant, “street” self-defense training that’s peddled in poor martial arts schools across the country. What makes Master Wong’s stylings so notable are his incomprehensible accent (Tito Ortiz-level of poor English) and his insane assertions, such as “you can’t knee fucking shit” and his claims about how poking a man in the eye means he’ll kill your family.

This video is worth a watch, trust us. It’s bad martial arts combined with ridiculous engrish—a win-win! He’s got loads of others too. They’re not quite as good as the one above, but are still fun.

If you see any video that’s good (or bad) enough to make the cut, let us know! Send it to [email protected]