Author: Andrew Brining

Fantastic slow play by Dana White there: “I’m not sure how many people know this, but…”

Yeah, we ALL know that Brock Lesnar tried out for the Minnesota Vikings. That’s one of the first nuggets everyone learns about the Minnesota Mountain. It’s part of his uber-athletic lore so it seems awfully convenient that the TUF producers choose his season for the football coaches challenge.

As Dana says, however, the football drills are more about agility than specialized coordination that would give Brock a decisive edge—unless he was trying out to be the Vikes’ placekicker or quarterback. He’ll should feel more comfortable, but that’s about it.

And, sure enough, they both breeze through the agility portion before getting gummed up with the field goal.

You know the Brazilian Junior dos Santos played soccer at some point so it makes sense that he’s the first to sneak the pigskin through the uprights. What doesn’t make sense is how coordinated fighters both look so awkward trying to throw a football.

C’mon fellas!

JDS is the first to pierce the target and then starts hotdogging it down the field with a comfortable buffer between Lesnar and the $15,000 that’s at stake. Considering ESPN just revealed that Brock is the highest paid mixed martial artist, I’d say that’s a righteous outcome.

Especially when the man-child dos Santos reveals he gave money to Team Lesnar and acts the fool with his teammates.

I’ll say it again, it’s impossible not to like Junior dos Santos.

Poor Len Bentley.

Perhaps that dude doesn’t know that these Ultimate Fighter episodes are broadcast for all the world to see…including Brock Lesnar.

I’m guessing the Vanilla Gorilla ain’t gonna take too kindly to Bentley’s words of praise for the big fella. You know, like saying Brock is “selfish,” saying he’s “rude,” calling him out on having fewer fights than Len, claiming Lesnar only coached for the cameras, saying everything out of his mouth was annoying, etc.

And all through a look of dismissive arrogance that’s probably a lot easier to maintain when speaking into a lens rather than the man’s face.

Of course, it’s tough to take anything Len said seriously when he opened the salvo with a proclamation that he’d fight Brock Lesnar, that he wasn’t scared.

Well, scared or not, that’d be a colossally stupid scrap to pick—Bentley isn’t a world-beater based on what he’s shown and Brock isn’t some slow oaf at 265 pounds. It would make for some excellent unintentional comedy, though.

Oh, and it bears mentioning that Len didn’t fire any of that tough talk up when staring the former champ in the grill.

Shocker.

Ahem, so we’ve had a few technical difficulties—some might call it an all-meltdown—but we’re back up and running. Unfortunately, the latest episodes is…oh, about five hours cold, which makes those live reactions I promised a bit tough to deliver.

You’ll have to settle for just the standard, garden variety.

First and foremost, let’s address Len Bentley.

His confidence in himself borders on delusion, which I guess can be a good thing from a certain angle. But he wasn’t so vastly superior to wild cards Chuck O’Neil and Javier Torres (OK, maybe he had a point regarding Javier) and who holds another man’s hand like that?

I get the editors might’ve exaggerated the duration for effect, but still, that embrace went well passed the point of decency.

And it’s infinitely more questionable when the man is UFC President Dana White, a guy who essentially controls your future now that the UFC absorbed Strikeforce i.e. if you want to fight for a living and you’re not crazy good, you better not bum out DW.

Toss on the fact that he implicitly assumed he’d be featured in the finale and that wasn’t a good couple of minutes for Mr. Bentley.

The Ultimate Fighter: Team Lesnar vs. Team dos Santos has officially emerged from what is traditionally the reality-television portion of its season with surprisingly little reality-television fare.

For the strict MMA purist at heart, that’s great news.

Less boorish nonsense in the house and gym means more blood, sweat and tears inside the cage. Of course, if you’re a strict purist, what the hell are you doing watching the 13th season of TUF?

This is the UFC’s offering to the brave new pop culture world and it’s as much about the show outside of the Octagon as it is about the go inside it. From the non-purist perspective, it’s been a tremendous letdown.

With arguably the sport’s biggest star attached, in Brock Lesnar, we were supposed to be treated to a must-see phenomenon similar to the Forrest Griffin-Stephan Bonnar collision that thrust TUF into the mainstream. Instead, we’ve had weeks of bedroom-eye promos that got the pulse racing, only to be disappointed with a TUF peck on the cheek and a lonely drive home, as the flirtations have gone unfulfilled.

Oh well.

The second round of fights begins tonight, and that means the reality-television overtones usually become muted as the focus shifts and the last men standing get whittled down. That means more scrapping and less yapping as that six-figure contract on the horizon gets closer and closer.

So maybe the window for salacious scandal has closed, but the one for legitimate tussles just opened wider.

Check back at the top of the hour for reactions to this week’s action.

 

 

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Tough break for Justin Edwards; he’s informed that both coaches and Dana wanted him to be the alternate, but he’s on a 90-day suspension so he’s out. So we go through the charade of asking each eliminated competitor whether he wants the spot (they all say they want it, some with more conviction than others).

Then we’re treated to an eerily cordial exchange—dare I say collaboration—between Junior dos Santos and Brock Lesnar.

Damn, fellas, where’s the animosity.

Ultimately, Chuck O’Neil and Javier Torres. Picks seem reasonable to me considering there wasn’t a huge selection of overwhelming candidates. This doesn’t sit well with Team Lesnar’s Len Bentley, who says during next week’s preview that he’ll fight that “big motherf*****” in reference to his coach.

Proving, once again, these guys might not be too bright, but they’ve sure got confidence.

Tune in next week to see how that works out for Mr. Bentley, who appears to confront Brock about the perceived sabotage.

That should be fun.

I think Ferguson just said he could feel the outcome of the fight with his skin…I’m not really sure what to do with that so I merely present it to you, fair reader.

Edwards gives us no such juicy and confounding sound bytes, but not every fighter can.

Another blast of ads gives us a few intimate seconds with Ryan “Darth” Bader as he discusses UFC Light Heavyweight Champion Jon “Bones” Jones and his upcoming tussle with Tito “The Huntington Beach Bad Boy” Ortiz.

Really?

We’re still trotting out Ortiz? At this point, it’d be more interesting to see Jenna Jameson fight.

And how many middle fingers does Tito have to give the UFC before it bites him permanently?

Very strange, but I kind of like Tito so no skin off my nose. Just seems a little strange, like maybe the beef with Dana White and company is more facade than for real.

The break closes with another add for “Auction Hunters,” which proves that reality-television fans will watch ANYTHING.