Author: Dan Carson

Christian MMA Fight Ends in Painful, Double Hit-to-the-Groin KO

If someone hammerfists you in the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.This could potentially be an axiom in the somewhat paradoxical world of Christian mixed martial arts—a very real and growing niche of organized fighting with a new d…

If someone hammerfists you in the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.

This could potentially be an axiom in the somewhat paradoxical world of Christian mixed martial arts—a very real and growing niche of organized fighting with a new documentary ready to launch.

Titled Fight Church, the documentary showcases fighters of faith kneeing, punching and strangulating one another in the name of the Lord. This is not pacifist, Alt-rock-for-Jesus Christianity—it is eye for an eye fighting—or judging by footage a recent double knockout, knee for a knee.

Gawker’s Hamilton Nolan brings us a preview of Fight Church wherein two male fighters simultaneously punch and knee each other in the mana basket during a muay thai fight.

The freak incident stops the fight cold and sends both men to the mat, clutching at their now-powderized loins.

How is a simultaneous, double-pants-pounding knockout possible?

In the fighters’ eyes, it’s all in the name of spreading the Good Word.

“The whole reason we’re having the fights [at the church] is so we can bring people in and tell them about God,” one fighter says. “The hope is that through the fight I can create a relationship with the person I’m fighting and extend Christ to him.”

In any case, Fight Church (which should always be read in ALL CAPS) will be released Tuesday. If you’re into gritty MMA, the Good Book and/or insanely improbable knockouts, you might have found yourself a winner

 

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Dan Henderson Destroyed Shogun Rua’s Nose

Warning: Image of a graphic injury below
“Does it look broken?”
After two strong rounds, Mauricio “Shogun” Rua walked away from UFC Fight Night 39 with a crooked nose and a ninth loss under his belt.
Dan Henderson caught the Bra…

Warning: Image of a graphic injury below

“Does it look broken?”

After two strong rounds, Mauricio “Shogun” Rua walked away from UFC Fight Night 39 with a crooked nose and a ninth loss under his belt.

Dan Henderson caught the Brazilian light heavyweight with a devastating series of punches in the third round, two of which appeared to turn Rua’s nose sideways.

That brand of ugly might have to be handled by a specialist. You can’t always Steve Nash your nasal septum back into place.

The injury comes as no surprise, considering the three flavors of hell Henderson unleashed on the Brazilian’s sinuses before referee Herb Dean called the match. Robert Littal of BlackSportsOnline.com crafted a GIF of Henderson’s face-mashing flurry:

Fox analyst Brian Stann foreshadowed the match-ending punches, according to Mike Chiappetta of Fox Sports: “Henderson appeared to be living a nightmare against Mauricio ‘Shogun’ Rua when UFC on FOX analyst Brian Stann presciently noted that all was not lost for the 43-year-old. ‘As we all know, Henderson holds a big stick of dynamite in that right hand.’ Ten seconds later, the…main event was all over.”

Indeed, Henderson throws bricks with his right, and they’ll break a few windows if they land true.

As someone who has had his nose broken (headbutt, don’t ask), I harbor a deep and abiding respect for fighters like Rua who stand in the ring post-fight like their nose wasn’t just forcibly turned into lasagna. He grimaced through the end-of-match formalities, looking grim but undaunted.

He wasn’t alone in his pain. Henderson claimed Rua hurt him early in the going, per Chiappetta.

“He definitely dung me, he rang my bell a tad in the first round and then the second, too,” Henderson said. “I decided to be patient, too patient. I wasn’t very offensive. In the third round we decided to get after it and pick it up where we left off the last fight.”

Noses break, but we must not break with them. As for Rua, he’ll be icing that nose for a while.

Surgery is generally the only fix for a break this bad, but it’s nothing he can’t handle. He’ll go through the motions, ice the swelling and live to fight another day. Rua is 32, and judging by Henderson’s performance, he could be breaking young bucks’ noses more than a decade from now.

 

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MMA Fight Ends in Brutal 1-Second KO, Crowd Is Somehow Not Impressed

We still like skull-smacking knockouts, right? 
It’s an honest question: Do MMA fans continue to enjoy the sight of someone getting kicked in the face and falling lifeless to the ground? 
I only ask because a world record for the fastes…

We still like skull-smacking knockouts, right? 

It’s an honest question: Do MMA fans continue to enjoy the sight of someone getting kicked in the face and falling lifeless to the ground? 

I only ask because a world record for the fastest knockout in MMA may have been set Saturday, and the crowd reacted as though it had watched someone’s parents win a three-legged race.

The spectacular knockout was very real and occurred at WCMMA 14, according to Zane Simon of Bloody Elbow. While it can hardly be called a “fight,” a brief transaction of skin and bone occurred between fighters Sam Heron and Mike Garret.

Facing off in a matchup that can be described as “Mini Gronk vs. Bad Weasley,” Garret and Heron didn’t appear to be a good matchup from the beginning. Garret, the smaller version of Rob Gronkowski, came out and immediately ended the match with a rear leg head kick.

The crowd members weren’t ready. They barely had time to find their seats before Mini Gronk banished punk-rock Ron Weasley to the land of unconsciousness. 

Nonetheless, no one in the audience appeared to care when WCMMA promoter Dave O’Donnell explained to them that they had probably witnessed an MMA world record. 

“You have witnessed, people,” O’Donnell said, “one of the things I’ve never seen. One second! C’mon!”

O’Donnell tried, but apparently, the WCMMA crowd isn’t used to world record-threatening performances. Simon writes that the fight’s time stamp has yet to be confirmed.

As always the idea of an official time keeper stopping the clock becomes a bit hazy in these situations. UCMMA has helpfully provided their own, embedded time clock to make their claim, but it looked like it might have taken the ref another second to actually wave [the fight] off.

While nothing is official yet, this very well could prove to be the fastest. Two seconds is the current standing record for fastest knockout in MMA history, according to Doug Sibor of Complex Sports. 

Either way, Garret appears to have a future in MMA—or at least a job lined up kicking down doors. That man can boot.

 

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Ronda Rousey Wants to Have ’57 Babies’ with MMA Legend Fedor Emelianenko

“We should mate—ahem, date. You know, casually.” 
These immortal words were once spoken by White Goodman, and they share an eerily similar message to a recent admission made by MMA star Ronda Rousey. 
Rousey was recently in …

“We should mate—ahem, date. You know, casually.” 

These immortal words were once spoken by White Goodman, and they share an eerily similar message to a recent admission made by MMA star Ronda Rousey. 

Rousey was recently in Los Angeles speaking to members of the media when she told reporters that she wouldn’t mind procreating extensively with the retired Russian martial artist Fedor Emelianenko. 

The admission was spotted by Matt Erickson of MMAJunkie.com (h/t Mike Foss of For The Win) and certainly adds a new layer to her adoration of Emelianenko.

“Do I want to have 57 of his babies? It’s true,” Rousey said. “I think he’s married, though, so I’m not allowed.”

Rousey continued, explaining that Emelianenko was a big factor in what initially hooked her onto mixed martial arts.

He was like my first real exposure to MMA…I never really thought of [MMA] as a real thing until a couple years ago. A friend of mine showed me a Fedor Emelianenko highlight and it just blew my mind…so he’s always been my image of what MMA is supposed to be.

This isn’t the first time Rousey has gushed over her MMA hero. She’s readily admitted her admiration for Emelianenko in the past, claiming that she tries to emulate his style in the ring. 

Rousey has been a dedicated student of Emelianenko’s signature ground-and-pound technique, although in this new context it takes on a whole new meaning. 

Unfortunately for Rousey, her idol is indeed married. That being said, the idea of these two elite fighters having progeny of their own paints a ridiculous picture of dominance. 

Imagining a fighter with that combined bloodline is a scary prospect—let alone 57 of them running around. The Rousey-Emelianenko family could field its own SEAL Team and Delta Force, with enough kids left over to start their own MMA league.

Rousey’s thoughts are best left out of these clouds, however. She will be taking on silver medalist wrestler and undefeated MMA fighter Sara McCann in UFC 170 on February 22 and will need all her focus to maintain her perfect record.

It’ll be a tough challenge, considering McCann’s wrestling background. Rousey’s experience in the ring and intense study of greats, however, should be enough to help her pull out another decisive victory.

 

She grabs the bull by the horns. It’s a metaphor, but that actually happened.

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Brutal Head Kick KO Ends MMA Match in 6 Seconds

Dig out another plot in the left leg cemetery—we’ve got another victim to bury.
A week after a left legged brutality in Slovenia, another MMA fighter has fallen to a mighty head kick knockout in near record time (SKIP TO THE 1:13 MARK for t…

Dig out another plot in the left leg cemetery—we’ve got another victim to bury.

A week after a left legged brutality in Slovenia, another MMA fighter has fallen to a mighty head kick knockout in near record time (SKIP TO THE 1:13 MARK for the head kick).

The latest head-kick was spotted by MiddleEasy.com (h/t Leo of NextImpulseSports.com) and occurred in some nondescript facility in Brazil. 

The winner of the match was Marcos “Bicudo” Maciel—a Brazilian fighter who delivered a monstrous head kick to his opponent, Mario Cesar “Shotobushin.” 

Six seconds into the contest, Maciel went for his opponent’s head with a mighty left leg swing. The blow landed flush and Cesar fell to the mat. Not a single punch was thrown by either fighter.

And that was the match—all of it. Cesar made the fatal error of dropping his hands to ward off a perceived low kick and took a knee-buckling shot to the head.

The knockout was eerily similar to the kick that dropped Italian fighter Leonardo Zecchi in Ljubljiana, Slovenia last week. 

The victor of that fight was Croatian fighter Ivica “Terror” Truscek, who ended the match after 15 seconds with his own left leg head kick.

Head to the 5:10 mark for the kick.

Zecchi had expected the leg to go low, and was caught completely off guard when Truscek’s foot found his jaw. 

The Italian was able to get up after the kick, and even congratulated Truscek on a job well done—because mixed martial arts is one of those rare sports where someone can get kicked in the head and laugh about it after the fact. 

That being said, getting kicked in the face is quickly becoming the leading cause of unconsciousness in MMA fighters for the month of November.

Keep those hands up, boys—the left leg mortuary can’t keep working overtime.

 

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Ronda Rousey Flips off Miesha Tate on ‘The Ultimate Fighter,’ Draws Fans’ Ire

Athlete rivalries are the spice of life in sports, but sometimes competitors can take things too far.
Case in point: Ronda Rousey repeatedly flipping off MMA rival Miesha Tate on Wednesday night’s episode of The Ultimate Fighter. 
Rouse…

Athlete rivalries are the spice of life in sports, but sometimes competitors can take things too far.

Case in point: Ronda Rousey repeatedly flipping off MMA rival Miesha Tate on Wednesday night’s episode of The Ultimate Fighter. 

Rousey’s middle-finger festival was spotted by Simon Samano of For The Win, and it left MMA fans stewing over the UFC Bantamweight champion’s over-the-top gamesmanship. 

The incident began when Rousey and Tate—coaches on this year’s TUF— were tasked with a head-to-head rock-wall climbing challenge. The first one to ring the bell at the top of the rock wall would earn their team $15,000. 

The competition was close, but Rousey managed to reach the bell first. After ringing the bell, Rousey screamed “F*** you, b****!” and unleashed a barrage of middle fingers Tate’s way.

Tate ignored Rousey, who continued to flip the bird as the two coaches were lowered to the ground. 

Some viewers were turned off by Rousey’s antics and took to Twitter to express their disappointment.

Rousey and Tate have never gotten along, that much was established by their 2012 StrikeForce showdown.

The trash talking and pre-fight hype saw both fighters chomping at the bit to destroy one another, and the fight ended in an arm-bending Rousey victory.

The two are set to meet in the ring this December at UFC 168, so it could be believed that Rousey’s antics on TUF are just viral marketing for the bout.

Or Rousey still really hates Tate, and the world is in for another amazing fight next month.

 

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