I mean, sure, Diaz’s win over McGregor at UFC 196 feels so fresh in our minds that some MMA media outlets are still penning think pieces and technique breakdowns on it, and yeah, holding the fight at welterweight again feels like an odd choice considering that both guys are natural lightweights. And I guess if you’re a cynic, you could argue that a win for either Diaz or McGregor at 170 will be utterly pointless in terms of where it puts them in both the welterweight division or either of their respective decisions…
…boy, I really thought I was going to be able to turn that around. I guess I’ll just throw out remind everyone that cash rules everything around us and bugger off.
BREAKING: Frankie Edgar‘s camp has just now offered an official reaction to this fight booking. We now go live to New Jersey…
Guys, I’m not quite sure how to break this, so I’ll just come right out and say it. You remember that mother of all freakshow fights between Tank Abbott and Dan Severn that was supposed to headline that insanely-awesome looking UR Fight card this weekend? You know, the one that was set to feature Sonnen vs. Bisping in a grappling match, Angle vs. Mysterio in a professional wrestling match, and Roy Jones Jr. killing a guy? The one that was basically the summation of everything great about America in an era dominated by PC feminazi libtards who want to take away our guns?
It’s off. The fight is off and my heart is literally tearing in two right now.
Guys, I’m not quite sure how to break this, so I’ll just come right out and say it. You remember that mother of all freakshow fights between Tank Abbott and Dan Severn that was supposed to headline that insanely-awesome looking UR Fight card this weekend? You know, the one that was set to feature Sonnen vs. Bisping in a grappling match, Angle vs. Mysterio in a professional wrestling match, and Roy Jones Jr. killing a guy? The one that was basically the summation of everything great about America in an era dominated by PC feminazi libtards who want to take away our guns?
It’s off. The fight is off and my heart is literally tearing in two right now.
And why has Abbott vs. Severn been called off, you ask? Oh, only because of the stupidest reason of them all: SAFETY CONCERNS. As MMAFighting reports:
A rematch between legends Dan Severn and Tank Abbott has been scrapped.
Abbott could not pass his physical and has been removed from the fight against fellow UFC veteran Severn by the Arizona Boxing and MMA Commission, a spokesman for UR Fight confirmed with MMA Fighting on Thursday morning. A replacement is being sought.
Now, before you take to the streets to burn everything held sacred by this unjust world to the ground, you should know that the event itself is still scheduled to go on as planned, and a last-minute replacement opponent is being sought for Severn (please let it be Royce Gracie, please let it be Royce Gracie…). It would appear that the near-death of Dada 5000 at Bellator 149 has once again reared its ugly head, forcing athletic commissions around the country to step up their game and only sanction fights between “healthy” and “able-bodied” fighters.
It’s a f*cking disgrace if you ask me, even if it does make you wonder how Tank Abbott couldn’t pass a physical that this guy could:
I mean, come on. Tank could destroy this chump with a belly full of chicken wings and a half-empty keg tied to his belt, Always Sunny-style.
We’ll be sure to keep you updated when/if Severn’s new opponent is announced, but one thing’s for sure: this does not bode well for The Beast’s proposed “Master’s Division.” Hell, it doesn’t bode well for America.
At this point, there are few jokes left to be made at the expense of Jason “Mayhem” Miller, whose downward spiral over the past five years has seen him arrested for severalacts of assault and engage in a standoff with Los Angeles SWAT members (a standoff which he live-tweeted) among other crimes and misdemeanors. It’s been nothing short of heartbreaking to witness, and made all the worse by the knowledge that the path on which he is currently traveling seems destined to end in only the darkest of ways.
Yet despite the many, many warning signs Miller has given off in recent years, the former Strikeforce and UFC middleweight was inexplicably booked in a match against fellow UFC alum Luke Barnatt for Italian promotion VenatorFC this coming May — a story that was immediately undercut by Miller’s subsequent arrest for driving under the influence.
As you might expect, we are not about to deliver the news that Miller has made a miraculous recovery and has rededicated himself to the sport that made him such a notorious and likable personality to begin with. No, we’re here to tell you that “Mayhem” has been arrested YET AGAIN, and the best thing we can say is that thankfully no one was hurt.
At this point, there are few jokes left to be made at the expense of Jason “Mayhem” Miller, whose downward spiral over the past five years has seen him arrested for severalacts of assault and engage in a standoff with Los Angeles SWAT members (a standoff which he live-tweeted) among other crimes and misdemeanors. It’s been nothing short of heartbreaking to witness, and made all the worse by the knowledge that the path on which he is currently traveling seems destined to end in only the darkest of ways.
Yet despite the many, many warning signs Miller has given off in recent years, the former Strikeforce and UFC middleweight was inexplicably booked in a match against fellow UFC alum Luke Barnatt for Italian promotion VenatorFC this coming May – a story that was immediately undercut by Miller’s subsequent arrest for driving under the influence.
As you might expect, we are not about to deliver the news that Miller has made a miraculous recovery and has rededicated himself to the sport that made him such a notorious and likable personality to begin with. No, we’re here to tell you that “Mayhem” has been arrested YET AGAIN, and the best thing we can say is that thankfully no one was hurt.
Details after the jump.
According to FOX Sports (via TMZ), Miller was nabbed yet again by Orange County police following “an incident that took place in January where the former UFC middleweight allegedly vandalized a tattoo shop with graffiti.” Due to the apparently extensive nature of the damage he inflicted (and the fact that he was out on bail when he committed the crime in question), Miller is currently being held on a bail of 1 million goddamn dollars.
One would imagine that this latest arrest will serve as the beginning and end of Miller’s expected return to the cage, but given how fiercely Venator FC president Frank Meranda defended Miller upon signing him, who knows what will happen to the former Strikeforce star.
What’s that? You say that you didn’t hear about Meranda’s defence? Well strap in for this one, Nation, because not only did the Venator president pen a (poorly-worded) press release condemning those of us who thought that putting Miller back in the cage was an inhumane cash grab as “idiots,” but he also personally took to Twitter to tell our buddy The Naked Gambler to “suck his dick.”
No joke. Here’s a sample of said press release:
Be fined (sic) does not make Miller a criminal to my eyes. I will not cancel any match for this reason. Indeed, I find it absolutely disgusting the some press rage against a person who is working hard in the gym to get back doing what he loves: Fighting in the cage.
For all the poor idiots who continue to speak of the mental condition of Miller. Miller is a born actor. These days he’s proving his qualities with never ending jokes on the internet and twitter. He was not “drunk” when he said Josh Barnett instead of Luke Barnatt. He is just doing with great skills his PR job, above all with no trash talk and without offending anyone as it’s quite normal in modern MMA, but with subtle irony, playing the character of “mental devastated” that every stupid in this world lightly gives to him without actually knowing him.
Jason Miller is not a saint. We do not defend what he has done wrong in the past. But we are happy and honored to give him the chance he deserves to show how the MMA can be a vehicle for the rebirth of a person.
For all who would like to see him alone and abandoned by everyone, I only have one word for you: be ashamed of yourself. I believe in Jason Miller. I’ll give this guy his chance.
Right, because we and the state of California have not given Miller enough chances already. The shame…it’s constricting my heart like a boa.
Venator has decided to opt for a less aggressive response this time around, though, writing on their official Facebook page that “Venator FC is aware of the situation involving Jason Miller” and “We take this matter seriously and we will act accordingly once we gather more information.”
“Act accordingly.” Oh, I can see Meranda’s statement now…
“In my eyes, spray-painting a tattoo shop does not make you a criminal. If it did, then Banksy would basicly be Hitler. Everyone knows that there are only two *real* crimes in this world: rape and murder. Jason Miller is not a saint, but he hasn’t committed either of those yet, so I c no reason why he shouldn’t be allowed to fight. In fact, we here at Venator FC our fully prepared to pay Miller’s legal fees, and think that all of you MMA media pussies should just shut the fuck up already and quit your bitching.
(“Ok guys, I want a clean, fair fight…you know what, let’s just go with clean.”)
Former UFC light heavyweight Fabio Maldonado may be best known for his ability to absorb a punch (and then ten thousand punches after that), but in his victories, he’s shown a decent enough ability to throw one as well.
Having been one of eight fighters cut by the UFC back in December following consecutive losses to Rampage Jackson and Corey Anderson, Maldonado recently decided to return to his old stomping grounds inside the squared circle to see if he still had any spark left in those bungalows he likes to throw around. His first fight back in February played out in nearly perfect fashion, with Maldonado defeating Robson Bambu via first round knockout. Emerging from the fight completely unscathed, the Brazilian slugger was booked against 2-7 jobber Alessandro Bernardo in a quick turnaround match last week, and the results were almost identical.
(“Ok guys, I want a clean, fair fight…you know what, let’s just go with clean.”)
Former UFC light heavyweight Fabio Maldonado may be best known for his ability to absorb a punch (and then ten thousand punches after that), but in his victories, he’s shown a decent enough ability to throw one as well.
Having been one of eight fighters cut by the UFC back in December following consecutive losses to Rampage Jackson and Corey Anderson, Maldonado recently decided to return to his old stomping grounds inside the squared circle to see if he still had any spark left in those bungalows he likes to throw around. His first fight back in February played out in nearly perfect fashion, with Maldonado defeating Robson Bambu via first round knockout. Emerging from the fight completely unscathed, the Brazilian slugger was booked against 2-7 jobber Alessandro Bernardo in a quick turnaround match last week, and the results were almost identical.
Skip ahead to the 1:50 mark of the above video to check out the full fight, and if you’re really in a hurry, skip ahead another 10 seconds to see Maldonado knock his opponent dead with literally the first punch he throws: a Liddell-esque overhand right.
The win improves Maldonado’s boxing record to a perfect 24-0 with 23 knockouts, suggesting that maybe it’s time he started receiving a step up in competition. As for his MMA career, Maldonado was scheduled to take on Andrew Smith at an XFCI event on March 19th, but that event was later cancelled due to a number of sponsors pulling out. As it stands, Maldonado is expecting to return to MMA on May 6th at Primeiro Round against an opponent TBA.
You guys remember Bellator 149, right? The card with the one fight where the guy almost died and the other fight where one of the guys probably should have died, but instead one of them just got kneed in the nuts? It was truly one of the peak moments in our sport’s young history, but as they say, “nothing stays gold forever.”
You guys remember Bellator 149, right? The card with the one fight where the guy almost died and the other fight where one of the guys probably should have died, but instead one of them just got kneed in the nuts? It was truly one of the peak moments in our sport’s young history, but as they say, “nothing stays gold forever.”
According to a report by MMAFighting that broke Friday evening – and would have been covered by us had we not been face deep in a hot wing eating competition at Dave & Buster’s at the time (we took 3rd out of 12, not that you care) — both the guy who didn’t almost die (Kimbo Slice) and the guy who suffered his first career loss via test-nical knockout (Ken Shamrock) failed their pre-fight drug tests.
Slice and Shamrock had banned substances in their system per the results of pre-fight drug tests, multiple sources said.
Both men have been administratively suspended by the Texas Department of Licensing and Regulation (TDLR) pending an adjudication process, sources said. The official test result documents, showing the exact substances Slice and Shamrock tested positive for, have been withheld by the TDLR due to potential pending litigation. Athletes on the card had urine samples taken before their bouts.
You said it, bird character from The Muppets whose name escapes me.
Honestly, we probably should have seen this coming in the case of Shamrock, who aside from having previously tested positive for banned substances following a 2009 win over a guy who actually *did* die shortly thereafter (the connections are everywhere!), turned 52 just 8 days prior to his bout with Royce Gracie. At that age and with that much wear-and-tear from both his fighting and professional wrestling days, I’d imagine old Shammy would need a Pulp Fiction-esque shot of adrenaline straight to the heart just to get out of bed every morning, let alone fight.
As for Kimbo, well, let’s just hope that that “banned substance” in question is a little harmless Mary Jane that entered his system while he was working security for one of those club-centric porn shoots, or we are going to be sorely disappointed in him. Say what you want about Mr. Kevin Ferguson, but the guy has always come across as an honest sportsman in our eyes. I mean, sure, who knows what say he had in EliteXC’s decision to bribe Seth Petruzelli, but we’re going to guess “nada,” which is EXACTLY the amount of steroids he would need to beat “Dada” on even his worst day, which conveniently happened to be the night he actually fought Mr. 5000. I mean, did you see his opponent hit pads? KFerg could have walked into that fight drunk and on shrooms (and very well might have) and still emerged victorious without *barely* needing an oxygen tank after.
In conclusion, Kimbo Slice is a hero who name is clearly being dragged through the mud by the Dada 5000 team, and Ken Shamrock needs to quietly go away forever.
