Author: J.Jones

‘UFC on FX 5: Browne vs. Bigfoot’ Prelims Draw a Staggeringly Low 44,000 Viewers

(Where the hell do y’all think you’re going?! Please, I’m begging you, if you stick around, I’ll even break out the Techno Viking dance!) 

We can’t wait to see how Dana White tries to spin this one.

The numbers were just released for all of last weekend’s UFC events. The good news: The main FX card did pretty well and the fourth episode of The Ultimate Fighter hit a seasonal high in terms of viewership (take that with a grain of salt). The bad news: The FUEL prelims were caught by less people than the 2012 Scripps National Spelling Bee prelims on ESPN 3. Probably.

You see, last Friday’s FUEL prelims only managed to draw in 44,000 viewers, absolutely shattering the promotion’s previous FUEL prelim low of 84,000 for UFC on FX 3. If these kind of numbers do not improve, the UFC won’t have to worry about emerging victorious from a ratings war with the WWE because they will be too busy trying to compete with the Punkin Chunkin people. We expect DW to start lobbing insults at “those four-eyed f*cking scumbag f*cks on the Lience Channel” any day now.

(Where the hell do y’all think you’re going?! Please, I’m begging you, if you stick around, I’ll even break out the Techno Viking dance!) 

We can’t wait to see how Dana White tries to spin this one.

The numbers were just released for all of last weekend’s UFC events. The good news: The main FX card did pretty well and the fourth episode of The Ultimate Fighter hit a seasonal high in terms of viewership (take that with a grain of salt). The bad news: The FUEL prelims were caught by less people than the 2012 Scripps National Spelling Bee prelims on ESPN 3. Probably.

You see, last Friday’s FUEL prelims only managed to draw in 44,000 viewers, absolutely shattering the promotion’s previous FUEL prelim low of 84,000 for UFC on FX 3. If these kind of numbers do not improve, the UFC won’t have to worry about emerging victorious from a ratings war with the WWE because they will be too busy trying to compete with the Punkin Chunkin people. We expect DW to start lobbing insults at “those four-eyed f*cking scumbag f*cks on the Lience Channel” any day now.

In all seriousness, at least part of the insane drop can be attributed to the fact that last weekend’s prelims started one hour earlier than normal — at 5 p.m. EST rather than 6 p.m. — meaning that many West Coast viewers would still likely be working or on their way home when the fights began. That being said, we don’t think a one hour difference could be the sole factor behind a 75% drop from the UFC on FX 4 prelims, which managed to reel in over 160,000 viewers. Although the card suffered some last minute setbacks, we also can’t imagine that the absence of Jeremy Stephens and Dennis Hallman were responsible for this ratings drop either.

At this point, we don’t know what to say really. While it’s not exactly crisis mode for the UFC, there’s no way they can be completely satisfied with such continually disappointing numbers. Say what you want about “Spuke TV”, but they sure as hell knew how to market The Ultimate Fighter and the prelim events better than FX does. I can’t remember the last time I saw an advertisement for the prelims more than a day or two out from when they were scheduled to air, which seems to be the main problem FX is facing: awareness. With a UFC event happening practically every weekend, FX needs to start advertising each event earlier and with more frequency if they expect to bring in more viewers.

Then again, it could simply be a case of the UFC spreading themselves too thin. Think about it, most cable-accessible UFC events begin with a live stream on Facebook, then a few fights on FUEL, then the main card on FX. Aside from the fact that most of the country does not get FUEL even with special cable packages — I have a 160 channel package that doesn’t — asking your viewing audience to keep jumping through hoops to watch a few fights featuring lower-level fighters seems like a counterproductive strategy. Only die hard fans of the sport will make the effort to catch every single fight, and they must often resort to illegal streams and other means to do so because of the variety of channels and mediums through which the UFC broadcasts their content on a given night.

The question now becomes: What can the UFC/FX do to boost these ratings?

–J. Jones 

Jeremy Stephens’ Bail Set at 100K, Hearing Scheduled for Tuesday Afternoon


(You should see the other guy.)

Although I thought George’s critique of Jeremy Stephens was a bit harsh, I must admit that I was similarly both impressed and a little put off by Dana White’s insistence that Stephens was not only a pawn in a vast Iowa-based conspiracy, but would in fact be fighting last Friday despite what us dumbass media types were saying [Ed note: Ironically, I took DW at his word and ended up looking like a dumbass]. Dana White’s loyalty to his fighters is admirable, but when you sweep a felony assault charge under the rug like it’s a parking ticket, you might just be sticking your neck out a little far is all I’m saying.

In either case, “Lil’ Heathen” is still stuck behind bars with bail set at a staggering $100,000. Now, I’m not a lawyer and I don’t play one on TV, but that kind of figure should be a good indication as to how serious this assault charge is. That is Law & Order triple homicide bail right there, people. Stephens will be extradited to Iowa on Tuesday to appear in court at approximately 1:30 p.m.

Stephens’ management, Evolution Agents, recently released the following statement regarding Jeremy’s side of the story. And although it’s still way too early (for me, at least) to choose sides, if the events transpired as this release claims they did, then Stephens’ is truly on the wrong end of some bullshit.


(You should see the other guy.)

Although I thought George’s critique of Jeremy Stephens was a bit harsh, I must admit that I was similarly both impressed and a little put off by Dana White’s insistence that Stephens was not only a pawn in a vast Iowa-based conspiracy, but would in fact be fighting last Friday despite what us dumbass media types were saying [Ed note: Ironically, I took DW at his word and ended up looking like a dumbass]. Dana White’s loyalty to his fighters is admirable, but when you sweep a felony assault charge under the rug like it’s a parking ticket, you might just be sticking your neck out a little far is all I’m saying.

In either case, “Lil’ Heathen” is still stuck behind bars with bail set at a staggering $100,000. Now, I’m not a lawyer and I don’t play one on TV, but that kind of figure should be a good indication as to how serious this assault charge is. That is Law & Order triple homicide bail right there, people. Stephens will be extradited to Iowa on Tuesday to appear in court at approximately 1:30 p.m.

Stephens’ management, Evolution Agents, recently released the following statement regarding Jeremy’s side of the story. And although it’s still way too early (for me, at least) to choose sides, if the events transpired as this release claims they did, then Stephens’ is truly on the wrong end of some bullshit.

In response to the recent arrest and allegations regarding Jeremy Stephens we would like to take this opportunity to reach out to his supporters and clarify some of the information that has been circulating in the media.

In 2011, Jeremy was attending a homecoming party in Des Moines, Iowa. A person in attendance became intoxicated and disorderly, and was asked to leave by the owner of the establishment. The intoxicated individual subsequently became involved in a physical altercation with another person at the event. We have learned that, as the featured guest at the party, Jeremy’s name came up during the police investigation of the assault.

Prior to being detained the morning of October 5, 2012, in Minneapolis, Jeremy had never been arrested in connection with the assault, contacted about any possible charge and or notified about any outstanding warrant by mail or any other means. Jeremy has lived at the same residence in San Diego and has maintained the same phone number for the past year or more. Jeremy also uses social media to provide updates on his training, and to thank fans, supporters, sponsors, and the UFC. In short, Jeremy is not a hard guy to find, which can be seen at www.LilHeathenMMA.com.

At this time, we do not know why Polk County (Iowa) authorities waited to have a warrant served on Jeremy until the morning of his fight. He arrived in Minnesota four days earlier, stayed at the hotel with other fighters for the event, and attended the public weigh-in on Thursday afternoon. Because he was arrested so close to the time of the fight, arrangements for his release could not be made in time for him to compete despite the diligent efforts of the UFC. Minnesota state officials were great to deal with, but Polk County kept changing the deal making it impossible to get Jeremy released.

It will take some time for this unfortunate situation to be resolved. We ask that everyone be patient and wait for the truth to come out. We also would like to thank Jeremy’s fans who are standing by him during this tough time and especially Dana White and the staff at UFC for their incredible display of support for Jeremy throughout the ordeal.

There is nothing to hide, so we will keep everyone updated as things progress.

So what do you think, Potato Nation? Does the state of Iowa have a price on Stephens’ head, or is it simply too early to tell?

–J. Jones

Knockout of the Day: 62 Year-old Man KO’s Opponent With the Sloppiest Spinning Backfist You Will Ever See


(Is it just us or did Mortal Kombat seem a lot more badass when we were growing up?) 

Suffice it to say, when a 62 year-old man sporting a ponytail, a Tapout shirt, and a pair of GSP-esque tights waltzes into an MMA ring, people tend to take notice. When that man appears to have developed a fighting strategy reminiscent of a falling helicopter leaf and is challenging a much younger man who is easily a weight class above him, well…

Video after the jump. 


(Is it just us or did Mortal Kombat seem a lot more badass when we were growing up?) 

Suffice it to say, when a 62 year-old man sporting a ponytail, a Tapout shirt, and a pair of GSP-esque tights waltzes into an MMA ring, people tend to take notice. When that man appears to have developed a fighting strategy reminiscent of a falling helicopter leaf and is challenging a much younger man who is easily a weight class above him, well…

Pitting senior citizen Wayne Smallwood against a guy named Weeg Hewson, it’s safe to say that there is no way in hell this Alaskan slobberknocker was sanctioned. That is ultimately a moot point, because our boy Blue showed up to throw down, and if he has to die trying to prove that he can still hang with those young punks who keep skateboarding on the sidewalks, then we will witness his demise firsthand.

Fortunately for Smallwood, his opponent apparently placed an order for one good old fashioned ass whipping with extra old, so let’s get to the action.

The fight gets off to a frenzied start, with Hewson throwing a couple haymakers and Smallwood responding by shooting for a single leg takedown. Hewson easily thwarts the attempt, and soon enough both men are back on their feet. While most of us are thinking that Gramps will be on his way to the Shady Acres Nursing Home at any moment, it turns out that the old coot still has some fight left in him. Smallwood feints a jab and proceeds to floor his already gassed opponent with the same spinning backfist/back elbow hybrid strike he used on those damn Krauts in dubya dubya two. The audience cheers, the referee tries to hold back laughter, and Smallwood’s legion of fans toss their colostomy bags and canes into the ring in celebration.

Old man strength: It’s for real.

–J. Jones

[VIDEO] Jason Miller’s Anti-Semitic, Mentally Handicapped Doppelganger Throws Tantrum, Storms Off ‘The MMA Hour’


(Trust us, when this moment arrives you will be doing anything but laughing.) 

When Jason “Mayhem” Miller was fired from the UFC, he was basically left with two career paths to follow. He could follow the path of guys like Joey Beltran or — to a lesser degree — Anthony Johnson, which is to say, recognizing his mistakes/flaws and trying to earn his way back into the promotion through hard work, a couple decent wins, and in his case, probably some begging. Or, he could take a page out of someone like Rampage Jackson’s book, which consists of complaining a lot, going on nonsensical Twitter rants, and acting like a delusional pyschopath at every possible turn.

It saddens us to inform you that Miller has apparently chosen the path of Charlie Sheen.

There are simply no words that aptly describe Miller’s recent appearance on The MMA Hour, but I’ll try to use a few: batshit, kerfuffle, delirium, wantwit, rudesby. Like sharting in a hot tub while on a blind date.

In a terribly misguided attempt to plug his upcoming film, Here Comes the Boom, Miller appeared on the radio show as his character from the movie, Lucky Patrick. But what began as a simple ruse quickly devolved into one of the most bizarre and outright sad things we have witnessed in the continually depressing downfall of “Mayhem” Miller. He referred to “Arius Heelwani” as a “Jew,” refused to break character or answer questions as to his current mental state (or perhaps answered them all, really), and vehemently stormed off the set 45 minutes short of its expected run time. As Helwani noted, Miller was clearly attempting to channel Andy Kaufman, but unfortunately came off looking a lot more like Crispin Glover.

Video after the jump. 


(Trust us, when this moment arrives you will be doing anything but laughing.) 

When Jason “Mayhem” Miller was fired from the UFC, he was basically left with two career paths to follow. He could follow the path of guys like Joey Beltran or — to a lesser degree — Anthony Johnson, which is to say, recognizing his mistakes/flaws and trying to earn his way back into the promotion through hard work, a couple decent wins, and in his case, probably some begging. Or, he could take a page out of someone like Rampage Jackson’s book, which consists of complaining a lot, going on nonsensical Twitter rants, and acting like a delusional pyschopath at every possible turn.

It saddens us to inform you that Miller has apparently chosen the path of Charlie Sheen.

There are simply no words that aptly describe Miller’s recent appearance on The MMA Hour, but I’ll try to use a few: batshit, kerfuffle, delirium, wantwit, rudesby. Like sharting in a hot tub while on a blind date.

In a terribly misguided attempt to plug his upcoming film, Here Comes the Boom, Miller appeared on the radio show as his character from the movie, Lucky Patrick. But what began as a simple ruse quickly devolved into one of the most bizarre and outright sad things we have witnessed in the continually depressing downfall of “Mayhem” Miller. He referred to “Arius Heelwani” as a “Jew,” refused to break character or answer questions as to his current mental state (or perhaps answered them all, really), and vehemently stormed off the set 45 minutes short of its expected run time. As Helwani noted, Miller was clearly attempting to channel Andy Kaufman, but unfortunately came off looking a lot more like Crispin Glover.

Ariel was willing to play along with Miller’s shtick at first, but when it began to wear thin roughly two minutes in, Helwani tried to steer the conversation in a somewhat comprehensible direction. It is at this point that Mayhem decided to go full retard. I should not have to warn you about why one should never go full retard.

Helwani’s reaction quickly changed from jovial to concerned as he continued to try and “talk to Mayhem.” Suddenly, it’s as if we are watching a doctor try and reach the traumatic center of a schizophrenic child, and the gravity of Mayhem’s plight begins to settle in. After a few minutes of pointless back-and-forth, Miller became enraged that Helwani kept referring to him as “Mayhem” and stormed off the set amidst a cloud of cuss words and childish banter.

Ariel took a few minutes to collect himself and gave the following response:

Now, we understand that this write-up is only keeping Miller’s name on all of our tongues like he set out to do, but we are legitimately concerned for Mayhem’s well-being at this point. The fact that he wouldn’t even talk straight with Ariel when the segment was over should be the only indication we need as to the direction he is heading. We don’t know about you, but while watching the fourteenth season of The Ultimate Fighter, we thought Mayhem came across as a generally likable and intelligent guy. The fact that he’s let himself disintegrate into this is utterly tragic, and we sincerely hope that it doesn’t end in Miller harming himself or those around him.

I’m not normally one to offer inspirational words of advice, but I would recommend Miller take some time and reflect upon those penned by Marilyn vos Savant:

Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent. 

Best of luck to you, Jason.

–J. Jones

Invicta FC 3 Recap and Videos: Penne Becomes Inaugural Atomweight Champ, Baszler Thrashes D’Alelio

(Joanne Calderwood vs. Ashley Cummins. Fight starts at the 1:35 mark. Someone nearly shits their pants around the 4:45 mark.)

Over the past several months, we’ve heard a lot of hoopla regarding the plight of women’s MMA and the lighter weight classes in general. According to some self-proclaimed experts, these fighters stand next to no chance of providing exciting finishes because of their “frail bones” and their “cabbage fingers” and their “lady parts that prevent them from committing gruesome acts of beautiful violence.” And while it should be noted that I normally obtain most of this expert testimony during my weekly NO MA’AM meetings, I must admit that the ladies of Invicta Fighting Championships are pretty much shattering every pre-conceived notion that one could have when approaching women’s MMA or the lighter weight classes. Last weekend’s Invicta FC 3 event did not stray far from the pattern established by the first two events, which is to say, it delivered exciting fights and brutal finishes from top to bottom.

In the evening’s main event, submission specialist and general hottie Jessica Penne made history by becoming the promotion’s first champion in the atomweight class, controlling the previously number one ranked atomweight Naho Sugiyama easily before submitting her midway through the second round with a slick triangle choke. Penne improved to 10-1 as a professional with the win and likely set up a showdown between herself and “The Karate Hottie” Michelle Waterson, who picked up a hard fought split-decision win over Lacey Schuckman earlier in the evening, down the line. I’m not saying I will be watching that fight with ulterior motives, but I am saying that I will be watching it alone. With the curtains closed. With no pants on.

After the jump: A boatload of fight videos from the event, including Shayna Baszler’s domination of Sarah D’Alelio, Stephanie Frausto’s lightning quick submission over Amy Davis, and Julia Budd’s brutal beatdown of Danielle West.


(Joanne Calderwood vs. Ashley Cummins. Fight starts at the 1:35 mark. Someone nearly shits their pants around the 4:45 mark.)

Over the past several months, we’ve heard a lot of hoopla regarding the plight of women’s MMA and the lighter weight classes in general. According to some self-proclaimed experts, these fighters stand next to no chance of providing exciting finishes because of their “frail bones” and their “cabbage fingers” and their “lady parts that prevent them from committing gruesome acts of beautiful violence.” And while it should be noted that I normally obtain most of this expert testimony during my weekly NO MA’AM meetings, I must admit that the ladies of Invicta Fighting Championships are pretty much shattering every pre-conceived notion that one could have when approaching women’s MMA or the lighter weight classes. Last weekend’s Invicta FC 3 event did not stray far from the pattern established by the first two events, which is to say, it delivered exciting fights and brutal finishes from top to bottom.

In the evening’s main event, submission specialist and general hottie Jessica Penne made history by becoming the promotion’s first champion in the atomweight class, controlling the previously number one ranked atomweight Naho Sugiyama easily before submitting her midway through the second round with a slick triangle choke. Penne improved to 10-1 as a professional with the win and likely set up a showdown between herself and “The Karate Hottie” Michelle Waterson, who picked up a hard fought split-decision win over Lacey Schuckman earlier in the evening, down the line. I’m not saying I will be watching that fight with ulterior motives, but I am saying that I will be watching it alone. With the curtains closed. With no pants on.

She may have only improved her record to an even .500 on Saturday night, but the little sister of Zoila Gurgel did not waste anytime establishing herself as a legitimate threat in the atomweight division with a quick guillotine victory over Amy Davis. From the opening bell this one was all Frausto, who rushed across the cage and started hurling leather like she was running late for her own funeral. After securing an easy trip takedown, Frausto peppered Davis up with shots, latched on a tight guillotine, and it was good night, Irene.

God, I hate myself for using that phrase. I’m going to chalk this one up to the lack of an edit button.

Julia Budd has suffered perhaps the two most brutal losses that any professional athlete ever could. In her second Strikeforce Challengers appearance, Budd was hammerfisted into oblivion by Amanda Nunes in just 14 seconds. Two fights later, she became Ronda Rousey armbar victim number #4. Needless to say, the woman has been through some tough times. But it’s good to see that she can take it as well as she can dish it out, because she may very well have beaten the last remaining fucks given out of Danielle “The Honey Badger” West in their main card-opening bout. The first couple minutes were mainly held in the clinch as the two ladies jockeyed for position, but as soon as Budd managed to get the fight to the ground, elbows and fists fell like buckets of paint in a Home Alone movie. The end came shortly thereafter, and Budd finally managed to end up on the right side of a highlight reel.

In the evening’s co-main event, Strikeforce veteran Shayna Baszler opened an entire case of whoop ass on Sarah D’Alelio, utilizing her superior ground game to constantly threaten D’Alelio with submissions from the top. Though D’Alelio would gamely defend her attempts for the entirety of the first round, she would fall victim to a rear-naked choke early in the second. Although the finish was nice, my personal favorite moment of the fight came with 10 seconds remaining in the first round, wherein Bazler delivered some of the most painful looking stomps to the Achilles tendon that you will ever see. Lordy.

We’ve posted the videos of the Waterson/Schuckman, Porto/LaRosa, and Young/Smith II fights along with the full results below. If you’re interested in checking out all of the fights from last weekend, head over to MMAWeekly for a full rundown.

Michelle Waterson vs. Lacey Schuckman

Tara Larosa vs. Vanessa Porto

Kaitlin Young vs. Leslie Smith II

Full Results
Jessica Penne def. Naho Sugiyama by submission (triangle) at 2:20 of round 2
Shayna Bazler def. Sarah D’Alelio by submission (RNC) at 0:48 of round 2
Leslie Smith def. Kaitlin Young by referee stoppage (mounted crucifix) at 2:19 of round 2
Barb Honchak def. Aisling Daly by unanimous decision
Vanessa Porto def. Tara LaRosa by unanimous decision
Cat Zingano def. Raquel Pennington by submission (RNC) at 3:32 of round 2
Michelle Waterson def. Lacey Schuckman by split decision
Julia Budd def. Danielle West by TKO at 2:32 of round one
Carla Esparza def. Lynn Alvarez by TKO at 2:53 of round one
Joanne Calderwood def. Ashley Cummins by KO (knee to body) at 3:13 of round one
Stephanie Frausto def. Amy Davis by submission (guillotine) at 0:48 of round one
Jessamyn Duke def. Marciea Allen by submission (armbar) at 4:42 of round one
Tecia Torres def. Kaiyana Rain by unanimous decision
Ediene Gomes def. Katalina Malungahu by submission (rear naked choke) at 4:19 of round one

–J. Jones

Armchair Matchmaker: ‘UFC on FX: Browne vs. Bigfoot’ Edition


(Having recently established himself as the alpha male, the Bigfoot eagerly races off into the jungles of Brazil to copulate with the herd’s last remaining female.)

We may be a few days removed from UFC on FX 5, but that doesn’t mean that the future has already been determined for the night’s biggest winners. Joe Silva and Sean Shelby may be the best in the biz, but even they could probably use a bit of matchmaking advice — or at least a backup plan– considering that half of the fights they book in the aftermath of this event will be cancelled due to injury, arrest, or a classic case of bitch wife. This is where the Armchair Matchmaker comes in, for what are sports without over analysis, needless speculation, and a headscratching appearance from Liam Neeson? By the end of this article, you will have witnessed at least one of these.

Here we go.

Antonio Silva: You might chalk this up to laziness, but pairing the rebounding “Bigfoot” against Stefan Struve seems like an awesome idea to us. We know Stefan called out Fabricio Werdum following his big win over Stipe Miocic at UFC on FUEL 5, but we think this matchup makes just as much sense, if not more. Both men have recently reestablished themselves at legitimate threats and Werdum 2.0 (you know, the one that can do this to people on the feet) seems like he would put on a clinic against either man. It would be a stretch to declare that either Struve or Silva are exactly title-worthy material yet, so let these two big men slug it out and give the winner a top contender. It’s a classic battle of Chin vs. Lankiness — Jay Leno vs. Conan O’Brien in an MMA ring, if you will — and would surely deliver an exciting finish inside the distance.


(Having recently established himself as the alpha male, the Bigfoot eagerly races off into the jungles of Brazil to copulate with the herd’s last remaining female.)

We may be a few days removed from UFC on FX 5, but that doesn’t mean that the future has already been determined for the night’s biggest winners. Joe Silva and Sean Shelby may be the best in the biz, but even they could probably use a bit of matchmaking advice — or at least a backup plan– considering that half of the fights they book in the aftermath of this event will be cancelled due to injury, arrest, or a classic case of bitch wife. This is where the Armchair Matchmaker comes in, for what are sports without over analysis, needless speculation, and a headscratching appearance from Liam Neeson? By the end of this article, you will have witnessed at least one of these.

Here we go.

Antonio Silva: You might chalk this up to laziness, but pairing the rebounding “Bigfoot” against Stefan Struve seems like an awesome idea to us. We know Stefan called out Fabricio Werdum following his big win over Stipe Miocic at UFC on FUEL 5, but we think this matchup makes just as much sense, if not more. Both men have recently reestablished themselves at legitimate threats and Werdum 2.0 (you know, the one that can do this to people on the feet) seems like he would put on a clinic against either man. It would be a stretch to declare that either Struve or Silva are exactly title-worthy material yet, so let these two big men slug it out and give the winner a top contender. It’s a classic battle of Chin vs. Lankiness – Jay Leno vs. Conan O’Brien in an MMA ring, if you will — and would surely deliver an exciting finish inside the distance.

Jake Ellenberger: He may have come away with a victory over a legit fighter in Jay Hieron on Friday, but Ellenberger’s performance was easily one of the most disappointing in recent memory, which is saying something considering he was just TKO’d in his last fight. Ellenberger seemed far too content to throw haymakers with the hope of a flash KO and never really went out of his way to try and obtain a finish, so there’d be no better way to light a fire under him for his next fight than to pair him with perennial trash-talking contender Josh Koscheck. Kos is coming off a close loss to Johnny Hendricks, who he ranked just above “Ingleburger” in a previous interview and would love the opportunity to prove all of us retarded, fighter-ranking assholes wrong anyway.

John Dodson: Although Dodson earned the right to fight newly-crowned flyweight champion Demetrious Johnson with his impressive second round knockout of Jussier Formiga, we’d rather see Dodson take on the drunken asshole that couldn’t keep quiet on Friday in a no holds-barred street fight to the death. If Dodson wins, we can never complain about another flyweight fight again. If he loses, we pack him and as many flyweights as humanely possible into an undersized car and let the hijinks ensue.

Justin Edwards: Edwards is four fights into his UFC career, yet we still don’t really know what to make of the guy. His 45-second victory over Neer was both impressive and unexpected, but again, it didn’t tell us much about him other than the fact that he has a nasty arm-in guillotine. Simply put, we need to see more of Edwards, and a fight that would show us a lot about the guy would be against a Dan Miller type fighter. Not only does Miller also possess one of the nastiest guillotines in the division — which he used to score his last victory — but he is a well rounded, middle-of-the-pack guy who would be the perfect litmus test for Edwards. Miller was expected to face Sean Pierson at UFC 152, but pulled out when he received word that his son Danny Jr. would be undergoing a much needed kidney transplant. Now that Danny Jr. appears to be in the clear for the time being, we imagine Dan could use some more help paying the bills, and a win over Edwards would be a solid step in the right direction.

Michael Johnson: The TUF 12 product was able to overcome some early difficulty against Danny Castillo (thanks in part to a slight mental error by “Last Call”) in the first round and scored the most vicious knockout of his career in the second. Now finding himself on a three fight win streak, Johnson could use a slight step up in competition to see if he can overcome adversity again. A clash against the ever-improving Matt Wiman would make sense. Wiman recently scored a huge upset over Paul Sass at UFC on FUEL 5, and like Johnson, could use another big victory to keep his name in circulation.

Mike Pierce: It was almost eerie how similar Pierce’s and Johnson’s performances were last Friday. Both men were rocked in the first round, only to release the Kraken (I TOLD YOU!) and deliver a spine-shattering knockout early in the second. Considering how terrible Pierce looked in his victory over Carlos Eduardo Rocha his last trip out, he has to be feeling like a boss right now and rightfully so. Pierce is now 7-3 in his UFC career, with all of his losses coming to title challengers, so why not toss him another former title challenger? After falling to a third round come from behind submission at the hands of Martin Kampmann, Thiago Alves was supposed to fight Yoshihiro Akiyama at UFC 149, but blah blah blah injury curse, so pairing him against Pierce seems like a pretty smart move to effectively destroy any hope one of these men has at a title shot (or another in Alves’ case).

Are there any matchups that you’d rather see, Potato Nation?

–J. Jones