We first caught a glimpse of the incredible human Whack-a-Mole style training device designed by Nexersys when Matt Serra took us on a tour of Chael Sonnen’s house in between trips to the deli to get some nice gabagool. Chael could not speak highly enough of the revolutionary piece of equipment, so much so that he recently decided to appear in an ad for the product. Sort of.
Basically, the “ad” is nothing more than the “Oregon Gangster” riffing on prison politics and how awesome he is for just under a minute. He not once mentions the product at hand, or even how it works, but that kind of frivolous information is best left for the puny-brained weaklings who think that a few push-ups a day will transform them into the next Ultimate Fighter. So goes the reasoning of Chael P. Sonnen.
Video after the jump.
(Triangle defense sold separately.)
We first caught a glimpse of the incredible human Whack-a-Mole style training device designed by Nexersys when Matt Serra took us on a tour of Chael Sonnen’s house in between trips to the deli to get some nice gabagool. Chael could not speak highly enough of the revolutionary piece of equipment, so much so that he recently decided to appear in an ad for the product. Sort of.
Basically, the “ad” is nothing more than the “Oregon Gangster” riffing on prison politics and how awesome he is for just under a minute. He not once mentions the product at hand, or even how it works, but that kind of frivolous information is best left for the puny-brained weaklings who think that a few push-ups a day will transform them into the next Ultimate Fighter. So goes the reasoning of Chael P. Sonnen.
As you can tell, the Nexersys device is basically a high-tech version of the Bas Rutten Body Action System, proving once and for all that every genius idea to come along in the history of the sport stems from “El Guapo.” In a way, Rutten is kind of like the Kevin Bacon of MMA. And given Sonnen’s history of “borrowing” ideas from legends of their respective sports, it’s not exactly shocking to see him endorsing a product that was half-stolen from one of the greats. On the other hand, we do appreciate Sonnen’s “Cullman Liquidation” style approach to selling the product, which is undoubtedly the greatest marketing technique of the modern era.
So, Potato Nation, where does the Nexersys rank among such MMA-endorsed products as the Body by Jake or the JackRack?
We’re going to come right out and say it: By no means should you watch this entire video. We know that your time is precious, Potato Nation, as you are all, like us, the head honchos of your respective trades. But on the off chance that any of you have had a shit day and are in need of a pick-me-up, maybe, just maybe, you’ll get some enjoyment out of seeing a little street justice. This video, shot by one of the many onlookers, captures Devin Crime (or as the crowd referred to him “white boy”), a BJJ purple belt and Judo brown belt, coming to the aid of a woman who was apparently being struck by the Floyd Mayweather fan doing battle with Devin in said video. And by doing battle, we mean being choked until he taps like a little bitch on two separate occasions.
The video begins after this first takedown has already been landed, and even though Devin displays some Zen-like tranquility when dealing with the a-hole in question, he gets sucker punched for his troubles (:48). Devin responds with a hailstorm of GnP that would make Tito Ortiz turn green with envy, bloodying up his foe before possibly kissing him on the cheek (?) at the 1:13 mark. After some lay and pray, he patiently locks in the fight-ending choke with just over two minutes remaining in the first round.
Unfortunately, his foe is a firm believer in the Chael Sonnen system of submission fighting, and is under the impression that tapping out only ends the round, not the fight. After he is let to his feet to gather his things, he makes sure his hat is on at a good 45 degree angle before sucker punching Crime again (4:02). Crime proceeds to drag the assailant into the nearby bushes (4:06), and at this point it appears as if we are watching either a rape in progress or a snuff film or both. From there, it’s a smooth pass to mount and a rear-naked choke finish (5:00). When the thug is let back to his feet yet again, the singer of P.O.D appears out of nowhere to give him a final reason to get to stepping via his fist.
We have no idea if anyone was arrested for the alleged incident that sparked this brawl, but our hat goes off to Crime for his act of bravery. Nick Ring would be proud.
We’re going to come right out and say it: By no means should you watch this entire video. We know that your time is precious, Potato Nation, as you are all, like us, the head honchos of your respective trades. But on the off chance that any of you have had a shit day and are in need of a pick-me-up, maybe, just maybe, you’ll get some enjoyment out of seeing a little street justice. This video, shot by one of the many onlookers, captures Devin Crime (or as the crowd referred to him “white boy”), a BJJ purple belt and Judo brown belt, coming to the aid of a woman who was apparently being struck by the Floyd Mayweather fan doing battle with Devin in said video. And by doing battle, we mean being choked until he taps like a little bitch on two separate occasions.
The video begins after this first takedown has already been landed, and even though Devin displays some Zen-like tranquility when dealing with the a-hole in question, he gets sucker punched for his troubles (:48). Devin responds with a hailstorm of GnP that would make Tito Ortiz turn green with envy, bloodying up his foe before possibly kissing him on the cheek (?) at the 1:13 mark. After some lay and pray, he patiently locks in the fight-ending choke with just over two minutes remaining in the first round.
Unfortunately, his foe is a firm believer in the Chael Sonnen system of submission fighting, and is under the impression that tapping out only ends the round, not the fight. After he is let to his feet to gather his things, he makes sure his hat is on at a good 45 degree angle before sucker punching Crime again (4:02). Crime proceeds to drag the assailant into the nearby bushes (4:06), and at this point it appears as if we are watching either a rape in progress or a snuff film or both. From there, it’s a smooth pass to mount and a rear-naked choke finish (5:00). When the thug is let back to his feet yet again, the singer of P.O.D appears out of nowhere to give him a final reason to get to stepping via his fist.
We have no idea if anyone was arrested for the alleged incident that sparked this brawl, but our hat goes off to Crime for his act of bravery. Nick Ring would be proud.
Perhaps you recall that some five months ago, the UFC’s website was hacked by a group of cyber Nazi’s, who in turn released Dana White’s personal information, including social security numbers, phone numbers, net worth, etc. in a response to White’s rallying support of the SOPA bill. We were originally informed that one of the culprits behind all this, known to the Internet world as JoshTheGod, was a thirteen year old Australian computer whiz, by crikey, but recent events have proven otherwise.
As it turns out, JoshTheGod is actually Mir Islam, and he was hauled in yesterday along with over two dozen other individuals spread across thirteen countries as part of a sting stemming from a two-year undercover operation known as Operation Card Shop. According to our inside sources, the capture of these individuals was led by an officer named Axel Foley, who had been assigned to, as he put it, “a multi-jurisdictional federal taskforce on organized crime” some twenty five years ago (Ed note: Now THAT’s preparation). After leading police on a chase across greater Detroit while still undercover, a chase that resulted in the deaths of 8 people and the destruction of 16 police vehicles, 7 fire hydrants, a magazine kiosk, and a stolen cement truck, Foley was able to apprehend each and every one of the suspects that he had not already gunned down in the chase.
Federal officials said Operation Card Shop, as the sting is being called, was unusually broad and represented a significant step in combating credit card fraud, which has grown notably more sophisticated recently.
The online forum, one law enforcement official said, was “like a restricted eBay,” open only to people who had a reputation and who had been vouched for by someone on the site. Besides the financial data, hacking tips, malware, spyware and access to stolen goods, like iPads and iPhones, were also possible on the site, the official said.
Many of the 11 individuals arrested in the United States offered specialized skills and products on the sting site. One, who used the screen name xVisceral, offered remote access tools known as RATS that would spy on computers and Web cameras; the programs sold for $50 a copy.
Another, Mir Islam, known as JoshTheGod, sold stolen credit card information and had data on 50,000 credit card accounts, according to the United States attorney for the Southern District. He was arrested after buying cards from an undercover agent and trying to use one at an A.T.M. on Eighth Avenue in Midtown Manhattan.
Perhaps you recall that some five months ago, the UFC’s website was hacked by a group of cyber Nazi’s, who in turn released Dana White’s personal information, including social security numbers, phone numbers, net worth, etc. in a response to White’s rallying support of the SOPA bill. We were originally informed that one of the culprits behind all this, known to the Internet world as JoshTheGod, was a thirteen year old Australian computer whiz, by crikey, but recent events have proven otherwise.
As it turns out, JoshTheGod is actually Mir Islam, and he was hauled in yesterday along with over two dozen other individuals spread across thirteen countries as part of a sting stemming from a two-year undercover operation known as Operation Card Shop. According to our inside sources, the capture of these individuals was led by an officer named Axel Foley, who had been assigned to, as he put it, “a multi-jurisdictional federal taskforce on organized crime” some twenty five years ago (Ed note: Now THAT’s preparation). After leading police on a chase across greater Detroit while still undercover, a chase that resulted in the deaths of 8 people and the destruction of 16 police vehicles, 7 fire hydrants, a magazine kiosk, and a stolen cement truck, Foley was able to apprehend each and every one of the suspects that he had not already gunned down in the chase.
Federal officials said Operation Card Shop, as the sting is being called, was unusually broad and represented a significant step in combating credit card fraud, which has grown notably more sophisticated recently.
The online forum, one law enforcement official said, was “like a restricted eBay,” open only to people who had a reputation and who had been vouched for by someone on the site. Besides the financial data, hacking tips, malware, spyware and access to stolen goods, like iPads and iPhones, were also possible on the site, the official said.
Many of the 11 individuals arrested in the United States offered specialized skills and products on the sting site. One, who used the screen name xVisceral, offered remote access tools known as RATS that would spy on computers and Web cameras; the programs sold for $50 a copy.
Another, Mir Islam, known as JoshTheGod, sold stolen credit card information and had data on 50,000 credit card accounts, according to the United States attorney for the Southern District. He was arrested after buying cards from an undercover agent and trying to use one at an A.T.M. on Eighth Avenue in Midtown Manhattan.
Mr. Islam is accused of helping to operate additional forums, UGNazi.com andCarders.org, both of which were seized by the F.B.I. A lawyer for Mr. Islam declined to comment.
Other people arrested offered to ship stolen merchandise and arrange drop services so items like sunglasses, air purifiers and synthetic marijuana could be picked up.
Two individuals were arrested in New York, nine elsewhere in the United States and 13 in a dozen other countries, according to an F.B.I. spokeswoman.
In addition to arresting purveyors of stolen credit card information, authorities also aimed to trap people who created fake credit cards. The information included credit card numbers, addresses, Social Security numbers, mothers’ maiden names and details of bank accounts.
Some people who bought software and other items on the sting site purchased products from retailers like Apple and Walmart.
“The coordinated law enforcement actions taken by an unprecedented number of countries around the world today demonstrate that hackers and fraudsters cannot count on being able to prowl the Internet in anonymity and with impunity, even across national boundaries,” said Preet Bharara, United States attorney for the Southern District of New York.
In addition to luring hackers onto the site, federal authorities also monitored the discussion threads that sprang up, as specialized hackers sold their wares. The site was created in June 2010 and shut last month.
Assistant director for the FBI, Janice K. Fedarcyk, stated that the arrests would result in “significant disruption to the underground economy.” As of now, the number of people reportedly arrested stands at 26.
Although Islam is innocent until proven guilty, we cannot help but express our disappointment in him. Because, when he was just hacking into DW’s personal information and releasing it to the general public, it was basically a victimless crime.
*looks over shoulder*
Hell, he even had a cause behind what he was doing; he was almost like an Internet freedom fighter, if you will, and that in its own twisted way is kind of respectable. But as was the case with George Jung, he just had to get greedy. We can’t say we’re surprised that a man with enough hubris to call himself “God” would pull this kind of stunt, but disappointed nonetheless.
It will undoubtedly be a while before we are made aware of exactly what charges and sentence he may be facing in federal pound-me-in-the-ass-prison, but will we keep you informed as things transpire.
Let’s get one thing straight, Kevin James has not exactly had the kind of career that would inspire a lot of confidence in his abilities as an actor. Sure, The King of Queens had it moments (not to mention all that Leah Remini goodness), but there is almost nothing that James can do to repair the mental anguish and self-inflicted bodily harm that Paul Blart: Mall Cop and Zookeeper were responsible for across the globe. We knew he was a big MMA fan, and seems like a pretty cool guy when he’s not squeezing out such 90 minute abortions as Grown Ups, I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, and…*checks IMDB*…GROWN UPS 2?!!
(Oh, the horror…)
So you can understand our trepidation when we awoke this morning to find the first trailer for James’ upcoming MMA film, Here Comes the Boom, waiting for us to absorb and dissect. Because, if we’re being completely honest, there haven’t been many great (or even good) MMA films to be released since the “boom” of the sport. The fact that the latest one was staring an overweight sitcom star who is basically box office cancer didn’t exactly inspire much hope either.
And honestly, now that we’ve actually seen the trailer, we’re kind of relieved. Kind of.
Check it out for yourselves after the jump and let us know what you think.
Let’s get one thing straight, Kevin James has not exactly had the kind of career that would inspire a lot of confidence in his abilities as an actor. Sure, The King of Queens had it moments (not to mention all that Leah Remini goodness), but there is almost nothing that James can do to repair the mental anguish and self-inflicted bodily harm that Paul Blart: Mall Cop and Zookeeper were responsible for across the globe. We knew he was a big MMA fan, and seems like a pretty cool guy when he’s not squeezing out such 90 minute abortions as Grown Ups, I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, and…*checks IMDB*…GROWN UPS 2?!!
(Oh, the horror…)
So you can understand our trepidation when we awoke this morning to find the first trailer for James’ upcoming MMA film, Here Comes the Boom, waiting for us to absorb and dissect. Because, if we’re being completely honest, there haven’t been many great (or even good) MMA films to be released since the “boom” of the sport. The fact that the latest one was staring an overweight sitcom star who is basically box office cancer didn’t exactly inspire much hope either.
And honestly, now that we’ve actually seen the trailer, we’re kind of relieved. Kind of.
Check it out for yourselves and let us know what you think.
In case the video doesn’t work for some of you, here’s the film’s plot, as scribed by ComingSoon:
In the comedy “Here Comes the Boom,” former collegiate wrester Scott Voss (Kevin James) is a 42-year-old apathetic biology teacher in a failing high school. When cutbacks threaten to cancel the music program and lay off its teacher (Henry Winkler,) Scott begins to raise money by moonlighting as a mixed martial arts fighter. Everyone thinks Scott is crazy – most of all the school nurse, Bella (Salma Hayek) – but in his quest, Scott gains something he never expected as he becomes a sensation that rallies the entire school.
The films stars such familiar faces as MMA legend Bas Rutten, recently released UFC fighter Jason “Mayhem” Miller (who channels Louis Gaudinot before getting violently KO’d), and the recently retired Krzysztof Soszynski (who pulls off a Superman punch all the way from Krypton at the 2:07 mark). It even includes some footage of “The Polish Experiment’s” fight with Brian Stann at UFC 97. And like we said, based on the trailer, the film doesn’t look all that bad. Sure, it’s no Warrior (which I have still yet to see) or even Redbelt (which was pretty awesome), but at least it’s not James smuggling an ape into a TGI Fridays, so that’s something right? Plus, Salma Hayek.
I don’t know, perhaps I’m just trying to have a more positive outlook on life.
Here Comes the Boom is scheduled to hit theaters on July 29th.
How terrible is the state of Strikeforce’s marketing department? Well, if relying on the acting abilities of Frank Shamrock to promote their upcoming events (which I will admit I found a little more humorous than most) wasn’t bad enough, it seems that they have moved onto phase two of Operation Penny Scrape: reusing footage from previous promos. So goes the trailer for Strikeforce: Rousey vs. Kaufman, which begins with the same footage from the Rousey vs. Tate promo that we previously commended. It even goes as far as to use a shot of Miesha Tate clenching her fists before rapidly cutting to Kaufman, like we are all Alzheimer’s patients who couldn’t spot dat ass in our sleep.
How terrible is the state of Strikeforce’s marketing department? Well, if relying on the acting abilities of Frank Shamrock to promote their upcoming events (which I will admit I found a little more humorous than most) wasn’t bad enough, it seems that they have moved onto phase two of Operation Penny Scrape: reusing footage from previous promos. So goes the trailer for Strikeforce: Rousey vs. Kaufman, which begins with the same footage from the Rousey vs. Tate promo that we previously commended. It even goes as far as to use a shot of Miesha Tate clenching her fists before rapidly cutting to Kaufman, like we are all Alzheimer’s patients who couldn’t spot dat ass in our sleep.
Check out the video after the jump.
OK, so it isn’t as bad as we let on. It even has Ronda bouncing around in a pink gi, which is one of the most arousing yet simultaneously horrifying things we have seen since Gina Carano beat up that old hag on American Gladiators. And honestly, considering the UFC’s recent run of luck, we’re just excited for any fight that actually makes it to the card at this point.
Rousey will be looking to score her first title defense (and sixth consecutive armbar) on August 18th at the Valley View Casino Center in San Diego, California.
(These UFC 149 posters may be getting a little grim, but at least their marketing department is being honest for once.)
*Sigh*
At this point, UFC 149 is kind of like my dog, Zeus. You see, Zeus is one old-ass beagle, whose wrinkled, saggy countenance most closely resembles a wet bag of laundry or an old wicker chair dipped in mayonnaise. Zeus is so old, in fact, that he often trips over his testicles when shuffling his way across the room for a drink of water, or to bark at the ice cream truck as it makes its rounds. But just a few years ago, Zeus was a prime specimen, a real Westminster worthy creature. And as sad as it is to watch him basically devolve from Earl to Baby Sinclair, if you will, I have neither the heart nor the desire to place his fate in my hands and simply put him out of his misery. Plus, who in their right mind would deprive themselves of the endless entertainment that a dog tripping over it’s own testicles provides?
But where I am weak, the UFC brass needs to be strong. If they do not cancel UFC 149 right here and now and give the swindled saps who actually purchased a ticket to this event a full refund, then something terrible is going to happen. I can feel it, like Devon Sawa could feel that Volée Airlines Flight 180 was going to explode, or people with bum knees can feel when it’s going to rain. First it was Sexyama. Then it was Silva. Then Koch. Then Aldo. Then Bisping and even Big Nog. And now, it is being reported that George Roop has been forced to withdraw from his scheduled contest with Antonio Carvalho.
(These UFC 149 posters may be getting a little grim, but at least their marketing department is being honest for once.)
*Sigh*
At this point, UFC 149 is kind of like my dog, Zeus. You see, Zeus is one old-ass beagle, whose wrinkled, saggy countenance most closely resembles a wet bag of laundry or an old wicker chair dipped in mayonnaise. Zeus is so old, in fact, that he often trips over his testicles when shuffling his way across the room for a drink of water, or to bark at the ice cream truck as it makes its rounds. But just a few years ago, Zeus was a prime specimen, a real Westminster worthy creature. And as sad as it is to watch him basically devolve from Earl to Baby Sinclair, if you will, I have neither the heart nor the desire to place his fate in my hands and simply put him out of his misery. Plus, who in their right mind would deprive themselves of the endless entertainment that a dog tripping over it’s own testicles provides?
But where I am weak, the UFC brass needs to be strong. If they do not cancel UFC 149 right here and now and give the swindled saps who actually purchased a ticket to this event a full refund, then something terrible is going to happen. I can feel it, like Devon Sawa could feel that Volée Airlines Flight 180 was going to explode, or people with bum knees can feel when it’s going to rain. First it was Sexyama. Then it was Silva. Then Koch. Then Aldo. Then Bisping and even Big Nog. And now, it is being reported that George Roop has been forced to withdraw from his scheduled contest with Antonio Carvalho.
Although this latest injury may not be as significant as the rest, it is just another one of the legs being chopped out from underneath what will go down as one of the most cursed MMA events of all time.
I may not be a man of religion, but I think that someone, or something, is trying to give the UFC a hint: cancel the show, of suffer the unrepentant wrath of a vengeful God. If the UFC continues with its insolence and actually allows for this event to take place, I predict that no less than 8,000 people will be killed during the PPV broadcast, be it by a roof collapse, an electrical malfunction, or a freak tap dancing accident.
Roop was likely fighting for his UFC career against Carvalho, having dropped three of his last four fights in the promotion and most recently getting KTFO by Cub Swanson at UFC on FOX 2. Carvalho will also be looking to rebound from defeat against Daniel Pineda, who will be stepping in for Roop, as he suffered a unanimous decision defeat at the hands of Felipe Arantes in his UFC debut back at UFC 142. Pineda most recently saw his nine fight win streak snapped at UFC 146, where he dropped a unanimous decision of his own to former WEC featherweight champion Mike Brown in his probable retirement bout.
