I have nothing witty to say here – I’m just still not over the fact that the bulkiest guy in this picture once thought he was a welterweight.
Only one month removed from his official light-heavyweight debut, Anthony Johnson returned to action in the main event of last night’s Xtreme Fight Night 9 against fellow UFC washout Jake Rosholt. It’s always a risky move to book more than one fight at a time, but in Johnson’s case, the abundant optimism wasn’t without its merits, as he shut out Rosholt’s lights with a head kick in the second round. Before you inevitably ask, no, Rumble did not miss weight, either.
The fight was reasonably close in the first round, but after an accidental eye-poke from Rosholt, Johnson went straight into beast mode. Jake Rosholt had no answers for Anthony Johnson’s aggressive striking, and was such a bloody mess by the end of the fight that the referee almost called the bout before the head kick. Perhaps the most interesting part of this fight was the fact that Johnson was able to take the three-time NCAA Division One Champion down; not exactly an easy task.
I have nothing witty to say here – I’m just still not over the fact that the bulkiest guy in this picture once thought he was a welterweight.
Only one month removed from his official light-heavyweight debut, Anthony Johnson returned to action in the main event of last night’s Xtreme Fight Night 9 against fellow UFC washout Jake Rosholt. It’s always a risky move to book more than one fight at a time, but in Johnson’s case, the abundant optimism wasn’t without its merits, as he shut out Rosholt’s lights with a head kick in the second round. Before you inevitably ask, no, Rumble did not miss weight, either.
The fight was reasonably close in the first round, but after an accidental eye-poke from Rosholt, Johnson went straight into beast mode. Jake Rosholt had no answers for Anthony Johnson’s aggressive striking, and was such a bloody mess by the end of the fight that the referee almost called the bout before the head kick. Perhaps the most interesting part of this fight was the fact that Johnson was able to take the three-time NCAA Division One Champion down; not exactly an easy task.
After watching Anthony Johnson pick up such impressive victories since being cut from the UFC, one can’t help but wonder what could have been if Anthony Johnson was more careful with his body throughout his career. In some parallel universe, Rumble starts off as a light-heavyweight, doesn’t balloon up between fights and is possibly fighting Jon Jones tonight instead of Vitor Belfort. Instead, Anthony Johnson is a cautionary tale, a textbook example of weight cutting gone wrong and the living, breathing argument for banning the entire practice. It’s sad that his career may have been destroyed by misguided attempts to compete in a weight class that he had no business trying to make. The fat jokes made at this guy’s expense are sad, too, but does anyone really want to read an amateur sociologist’s take on body dysmorphic disorder and bigorexia in the MMA community? Didn’t think so.
If you want to watch a video of the fight, you can find a few of them here. Hurry up before they get taken down.
No, the legendary Super Hluk title was not on the line.
At a glance, these fights could have just as easily been included in this morning’s can-crushing roundup. Both fights featured established names taking on little-known Korean fighters with less-than-stellar records- one of which ended rather predictably. But perhaps that wouldn’t be a fair interpretation of the phrase “can-crusher.”
Over the past three years, Melvin Manhoef has deteriorated into a fighter who is only capable of defeating his own shins, having gone 1-4 (1) since 2009. Last night, Manhoef was matched up against 14-9 (2) Korean fighter Jae Young Kim. Despite his mediocre record, Kim had won ten of his fights by knockout and wasn’t lost on the ground, either; his most recent fight was a victory by North-South choke against Hee Seung Kim.
The duo produced an entertaining three round fight that saw Manhoef walk away with a split-decision victory. Manhoef may have looked slow at times, but his ground game appears to be less of a liability than it has usually been, as he was taken down but never submitted. He now stands at 25-9-1 (1) overall.
No, the legendary Super Hluk title was not on the line.
At a glance, these fights could have just as easily been included in this morning’s can-crushing roundup. Both fights featured established names taking on little-known Korean fighters with less-than-stellar records- one of which ended rather predictably. But perhaps that wouldn’t be a fair interpretation of the phrase “can-crusher.”
Over the past three years, Melvin Manhoef has deteriorated into a fighter who is only capable of defeating his own shins, having gone 1-4 (1) since 2009. Last night, Manhoef was matched up against 14-9 (2) Korean fighter Jae Young Kim. Despite his mediocre record, Kim had won ten of his fights by knockout and wasn’t lost on the ground, either; his most recent fight was a victory by North-South choke against Hee Seung Kim.
The duo produced an entertaining three round fight that saw Manhoef walk away with a split-decision victory. Manhoef may have looked slow at times, but his ground game appears to be less of a liability than it has usually been, as he was taken down but never submitted. He now stands at 25-9-1 (1) overall.
Melvin Manhoef vs. Jae Young Kim
If Jae Young Kim is too credible of an opponent for Melvin Manhoef to deserve to be called a can, then Jin Soo Yuk isn’t credible enough to deserve that distinction. That’s a pretty bold statement on its own, let alone considering that his opponent is freak show specialist Ikuhisa Minowa. See, unlike the cans and freaks like Bob Sapp, Hong Man Choi and Butterbean that Minowaman has made a career out of defeating, Jin Soo Yuk is A.) actually a middleweight and B.) winless in his MMA career. He’s yet to prove that he can defeat anybody, so should we even be considering him a fighter?
Jae Young Kim doesn’t disappoint, as he gets caught in a kimura with one second left in the first round. Minowaman is now 54-34-8 in his career, while Jin Soo Yuk falls to 0-3. God bless your crazy hearts, Road FC matchmakers.
Sometimes, there’s no shame in being a can crusher. As much as we love watching close fights between our sport’s top fighters, some of our sport’s most entertaining finishes came to fruition because a fighter of reasonable competence was locked in the cage with an utterly hopeless ham-n-egger. There’s nothing wrong with pounding the bejesus out of a hapless jobber every once in a while, which is exactly what Mariusz Pudzianowski, Jan Blachowicz and Dusan Panajotovic did yesterday. Fortunately for us, they filmed it for posterity as well.
At thirty-five years old, “can crusher” is probably the ceiling for five-time World’s Strongest Man Mariusz Pudzianowski’s MMA career. The odds of him ending up in the big leagues outside of his home country are pretty slim- which is perfect, because he seems more than content to smash freaks and nobodies in front of enthusiastic Polish fans. At yesterday’s KSW 20, Pudzianowski faced 4-1 Greek American prospect Christos Piliafas. All of Piliafas’ fights have ended by TKO- four of which in the first round. A technical grappling clinic this would not be, as Pudzianowski scored takedowns and eventually punched out Piliafas 3:48 seconds into round one. Unfortunately, videos of this scrap have quickly been taken off of YouTube. We know, we’re just as heartbroken as you are.
But as a consolation prize, we’re going to offer you KSW Light Heavyweight Champion Jan Blachowicz’s successful title defense against Houston Alexander from the same card. A win over Alexander may not mean too much anymore, yet Blachowicz never appeared in trouble throughout the fight. Unfortunately, save for an armbar at the end of round one and a triangle choke at the end of round two, neither did Alexander. Okay, so it’s a pretty lousy consolation prize. Whaddayagonnado?
*sigh*
Sometimes, there’s no shame in being a can crusher. As much as we love watching close fights between our sport’s top fighters, some of our sport’s most entertaining finishes came to fruition because a fighter of reasonable competence was locked in the cage with an utterly hopeless ham-n-egger. There’s nothing wrong with pounding the bejesus out of a hapless jobber every once in a while, which is exactly what Mariusz Pudzianowski, Jan Blachowicz and Dusan Panajotovic did yesterday. Fortunately for us, they filmed it for posterity as well.
At thirty-five years old, “can crusher” is probably the ceiling for five-time World’s Strongest Man Mariusz Pudzianowski’s MMA career. The odds of him ending up in the big leagues outside of his home country are pretty slim- which is perfect, because he seems more than content to smash freaks and nobodies in front of enthusiastic Polish fans. At yesterday’s KSW 20, Pudzianowski faced 4-1 Greek American prospect Christos Piliafas. All of Piliafas’ fights have ended by TKO- four of which in the first round. A technical grappling clinic this would not be, as Pudzianowski scored takedowns and eventually punched out Piliafas 3:48 seconds into round one. Unfortunately, videos of this scrap have quickly been taken off of YouTube. We know, we’re just as heartbroken as you are.
But as a consolation prize, we’re going to offer you KSW Light Heavyweight Champion Jan Blachowicz’s successful title defense against Houston Alexander from the same card. A win over Alexander may not mean too much anymore, yet Blachowicz never appeared in trouble throughout the fight. Unfortunately, save for an armbar at the end of round one and a triangle choke at the end of round two, neither did Alexander. Okay, so it’s a pretty lousy consolation prize. Whaddayagonnado?
One final note: Bob Sapp apparently retired after his most recent humiliating defeat, and quickly unretired to fight Dusan Panajotovic before anyone could actually enjoy him not being around. Despite the professionalism that Ultimate Fight Serbia tries to convey- and by the way, I can’t help but feel like I’ve seen their logo before – they booked Bob Sapp to fight and got exactly what they paid for. They got a YouTube hype video that looked like this:
Perhaps you are part of the ever-diminishing group of people who chose to watch The Ultimate Fighter on a Friday night before going into town on a taxi, having a couple of drugs, having dinner, having a threesome, going home again, having a shower, going out again, more drugs, more threesomes – basically living the rock n’ roll lifestyle of the 18-34 year olds that this show targets. Or perhaps you are straight edge, in which case TUF serves as a warm-up for your night of Mr. Pibb (or some other beverage, if you enjoy missing all the cool things), lines of Pixy Stix and threesomes. You know, standard practice.
If you tuned in during the first episode, the good news is that you were treated to a night of actual fights instead of drunken arguments, disturbing pranks and more of the stuff you hate about the show. Sure, we still had multiple dudes entering the cage sporting Tatanka/Jorgensen hawks, but not everyone can pull off a normal haircut, I guess.
Right off the bat things get awkward between Dana White and Roy Nelson. Before the fights, Big Country informs the fighters that it’s important to entertain the fans, but winning should be their main priority. Dana White lets Shane Carwin address the UFC hopefuls before he tells the fighters how wrong Roy Nelson is for saying that. That moment probably would have been pretty effective in building interest in the Roy Nelson vs. Dana White storyline if Dana White hasn’t been telling everyone who will listen how fed up he is with Big Country.
As for the actual fights, we’ve got results after the jump, including team selections.
Meh.
Perhaps you are part of the ever-diminishing group of people who chose to watch The Ultimate Fighter on a Friday night before going into town on a taxi, having a couple of drugs, having dinner, having a threesome, going home again, having a shower, going out again, more drugs, more threesomes – basically living the rock n’ roll lifestyle of the 18-34 year olds that this show targets. Or perhaps you are straight edge, in which case TUF serves as a warm-up for your night of Mr. Pibb (or some other beverage, if you enjoy missing all the cool things), lines of Pixy Stix and threesomes. You know, standard practice.
If you tuned in during the first episode, the good news is that you were treated to a night of actual fights instead of drunken arguments, disturbing pranks and more of the stuff you hate about the show. Sure, we still had multiple dudes entering the cage sporting Tatanka/Jorgensen hawks, but not everyone can pull off a normal haircut, I guess.
Right off the bat things get awkward between Dana White and Roy Nelson. Before the fights, Big Country informs the fighters that it’s important to entertain the fans, but winning should be their main priority. Dana White lets Shane Carwin address the UFC hopefuls before he tells the fighters how wrong Roy Nelson is for saying that. That moment probably would have been pretty effective in building interest in the Roy Nelson vs. Dana White storyline if Dana White hasn’t been telling everyone who will listen how fed up he is with Big Country.
As for the actual fights, we’ve got results after the jump, including team selections.
Full Results from Episode One:
Dom Waters def. Kevin Nowaczyk via KO (punch), Round One
Michael Hill def. Lev Magen via KO (punch), Round One
Bristol Marunde def. George Lockhart via submission (guillotine choke), Round One
Mike Ricci def. Jason South via TKO (punches), Round One
Julian Lane def. Diego Bautista via unanimous decision
Igor Araujo def. Cortez Coleman via submission (triangle choke), Round Three
James Chaney def. Jerel Clark via submission (triangle choke), Round One
Cameron Diffley def. Zane Kamaka via submission (armbar), Round One
Neil Magny def. Frank Camacho via unanimous decision
Jon Manley def. Ricky Legere Jr. via unanimous decision
Colton Smith def. Jesse Barrett via unanimous decision
Matt Secor def. Mak Griffin via submission (triangle choke), Round Three
Eddie Ellis def. David Michaud via submission (arm-triangle choke), Round Two
Joey Rivera def. Saad Awad via unanimous decision
Nic Herron-Webb def. Tim Ruberg via submission (armbar), Round One
Sam Alvey def. Leo Kuntz via KO (punch), Round One
When it’s time to pick teams, Roy Nelson wins the coin toss, but offers Shane Carwin the chance to pick the first fighter in exchange for the chance to pick the first matchup. After watching him practically zombify 14-1 fighter Leo Kuntz with a right hook, Carwin selects Bellator veteran Smilin’ Sam Alvey with the first overall pick. Roy Nelson choses Dom Waters with his first selection. When it was all said and done, the team rosters looked like this:
Team Carwin: Sam Alvey, Bristol Marunde, Mike Ricci, Neil Magny, James Chaney, Eddie Ellis, Igor Araujo, Matt Secor Team Nelson: Dom Waters, Michael Hill, Cameron Diffley, Colton Smith, Jon Manley, Nic Herron-Webb, Joey Rivera, Julian Lane
Try not to act too surprised, but the episode ends with Dana White saying that Shane Carwin appears to have the better team, but anything can happen. Cool reality show, bro. Let me know who wins it.
There’s something to be said about a drug addict who chooses to make money by exploiting his struggles with addiction, all while enabling the addictions of other people. I’m not sure if there are proper words for it, but utterly tragic, pathetic and thoroughly reprehensible are probably good places to start. Case in point: Jose Canseco, who has been dangerously addicted to anabolic steroids in the past (and possibly still is), now dedicates his time to encouraging both current and potential steroid users through a series of videos on Steroid.com. If you’re surprised by any of this, I envy your ignorance.
Oh, and he makes his glorious man boobies dance. Did I mention that part yet? Because that happens.
Back to business though. This week, Canseco touches on the topic of which steroids are “the most awesome steroids,” which obviously are the ones that make your tits bounce, n00b. Naturally, Canseco addresses former teammates who decided not to use steroids in the unfortunately typical words of an addict who refuses to take responsibility for his own actions:
As a baseball player, if you didn’t take steroids you were just a pussy. You were just not part of the team at that time. You weren’t really trying to win. You weren’t doing everything possible to become the best baseball player out there and help your team win. It was like a sacrifice in a way, you really had to do everything possible to help your team win.
There’s something to be said about a drug addict who chooses to make money by exploiting his struggles with addiction, all while enabling the addictions of other people. I’m not sure if there are proper words for it, but utterly tragic, pathetic and thoroughly reprehensible are probably good places to start. Case in point: Jose Canseco, who has been dangerously addicted to anabolic steroids in the past (and possibly still is), now dedicates his time to encouraging both current and potential steroid users through a series of videos on Steroid.com. If you’re surprised by any of this, I envy your ignorance.
Oh, and he makes his glorious man boobies dance. Did I mention that part yet? Because that happens.
Back to business though. This week, Canseco touches on the topic of which steroids are “the most awesome steroids,” which obviously are the ones that make your tits bounce, n00b. Naturally, Canseco addresses former teammates who decided not to use steroids in the unfortunately typical words of an addict who refuses to take responsibility for his own actions:
As a baseball player, if you didn’t take steroids you were just a pussy. You were just not part of the team at that time. You weren’t really trying to win. You weren’t doing everything possible to become the best baseball player out there and help your team win. It was like a sacrifice in a way, you really had to do everything possible to help your team win.
I’ll leave that one for the comments section to tear to shreds. What’s arguably the most interesting quote comes at around the seven minute mark, where Jose Canseco confronts a fan who says that baseball “was a pure sport” until players like Jose came along:
Let me tell you something, you fucking hypocritical fans: You loved seeing home runs fly five/six hundred feet. You loved it when Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa went on that home run barrage and they both broke sixty [home runs in one season]. You paid a lot of money in parking and concessions, in the tickets to get into that ballpark, to be entertained and we entertained you, so don’t be such a hypocrite.
Before we go any further, you’re right: It’s almost exactly what Ken Shamrock said when he blamed us for his steroid usage. It’s also incredibly weak to blame other people for your own actions. That being said, he sort of has a point – even if he’s the last person on the planet who should be making it.
As fans, we demand a lot from our athletes. We demand quick knockouts, we demand brutal slams and submissions and we demand impeccable cardio from all of our fighters. A guy who doesn’t finish fights is worthless to most fans (show of hands, how many Jon Fitch and Jacob Volkmann fans do we have here?), yet alone a fighter who consistently gasses out early. Essentially, we end up demanding the performances that very few people can naturally provide on a consistent basis from all of our professional fighters.
Yet we then act surprised when one of our favorite fighters fails a drug test, even though we’re the ones placing demands on them that very few people can meet without resorting to drugs. We’re the first people to crucify a fighter who dares to take drugs so that we’ll continue to buy tickets and pay-per-views. As much as I hate to admit it, Canseco sort of has a point when he calls us hypocrites: We watch sports to be entertained. We’re entertained by the first round knockouts. Do we still have the right to complain about a quick knockout if we later find out that one of the fighters was on steroids?
To reiterate, Canseco’s point is pretty much invalid when you consider that he’s a recovering (maybe?) steroid addict who is blaming other people for his addiction. Not to even mention the mental gymnastics that must take place in Canseco’s head to say ”if you don’t take steroids, you’re a pussy who won’t do everything for the team” in the same video where he says that the fans are to blame for the steroid problem in professional sports, all while he is telling people what steroids are best for a baseball player to take.
As fans, are we at least partially to blame for the athletes who turn to steroids? Probably. But that doesn’t make guys like Jose Canseco any less accountable for their own actions. Or their impressive, dancing knockers.
Even though many MMA promoters are quick to resort hyperbole when talking about an upcoming card, I think it’s pretty safe to say that UFC on FUEL TV 5: Struve vs. Miocic is the most highly anticipated card of all time. Headlined by young, promising heavyweights Stefan Struve and Stipe Miocic, the winner will undoubtedly be at least two more fights away from a title shot. Combined with the co-main event scrap between Dan Hardy and Amir Sadollah, a showdown between Duane Ludwig and Che Mills and the UFC debut of Gunnar Nelson, it’s no wonder that the fans can’t stop talking about this event. Hell, this event is so highly anticipated that one of the fighters on the undercard retired two days ago, presumably fearing he was unworthy of being associated with the best card in UFC history.
Before we go any further, if you guys could take a second to critique the new Cagepotato.com Sarcastic Font it would be greatly appreciated.
The UFC released an official promo to get the fans acquainted with Stefan Struve and Stipe Miocic. In this video, we learn that aside from being really tall, Stefan Struve is a human destroyer who is part of the new generation of fighters. The undefeated Stipe Miocic, meanwhile, tells us that his mind is his weapon. Okay, so it’s a little cliché, but Struve vs. Miocic should be a great fight between two young, hungry fighters, which this video captures pretty well. Behold:
Even though many MMA promoters are quick to resort hyperbole when talking about an upcoming card, I think it’s pretty safe to say that UFC on FUEL TV 5: Struve vs. Miocic is the most highly anticipated card of all time. Headlined by young, promising heavyweights Stefan Struve and Stipe Miocic, the winner will undoubtedly be at least two more fights away from a title shot. Combined with the co-main event scrap between Dan Hardy and Amir Sadollah, a showdown between Duane Ludwig and Che Mills and the UFC debut of Gunnar Nelson, it’s no wonder that the fans can’t stop talking about this event. Hell, this event is so highly anticipated that one of the fighters on the undercard retired two days ago, presumably fearing he was unworthy of being associated with the best card in UFC history.
Before we go any further, if you guys could take a second to critique the new Cagepotato.com Sarcastic Font it would be greatly appreciated.
The UFC released an official promo to get the fans acquainted with Stefan Struve and Stipe Miocic. In this video, we learn that aside from being really tall, Stefan Struve is a human destroyer who is part of the new generation of fighters. The undefeated Stipe Miocic, meanwhile, tells us that his mind is his weapon. Okay, so it’s a little cliché, but Struve vs. Miocic should be a great fight between two young, hungry fighters, which this video captures pretty well. Behold:
UFC on FUEL TV 5 takes place on September 29 in Nottingham, England. The main card will air live on FUEL TV at 4 PM ET.
