(You have no idea how right you are.)
What in the name of Science is this bullshit? Fresh off a victory over Marcus LeVesseur at UFC on FUEL 3, it has been announced that the inventor of the deadliest guillotine choke known to man, TUF 12 veteran Cody McKenzie, will be making his featherweight debut at UFC 148, which transpires from the MGM Grand Garden Casino in Las Vegas on July 7th. Welcoming him to 145 lbs will be…Chad Mendes? Didn’t he just fight JOSE F’ING ALDO FOR THE F’ING TITLE?! Did McKenzie piss off Dana White, or is this Karma’s way of punishing him for making Josh Koscheck look like even more of a clown on the set of TUF 10? If it’s the latter, then Karma is a dick. A high school Letterman jacket wearing, clove cigarette smoking, man ass motorboating dick.
As we all know, McKenzie has won 11 of his 13 professional victories by way of his signature vice-grip like submission, aptly dubbed “The McKenzietine,” which has earned him a spot amongst the greatest one-trick ponies of all time. Mendes, on the other hand, has never been submitted, and is coming off the first blemish of his career, which came via brutal first round knockout to Aldo. Why it was decided that these two should face off is nothing short of baffling.
When assessing McKenzie’s performance after his career-saving win, we came to the conclusion that he “isn’t exactly ready for a huge step up in competition” and should face someone like Reza Madadi to see where he stands. Although dropping to 145 lbs. surely changes things up for him a bit, matching him against one of the most elite guys in the division for his debut seems a little harsh, don’t you think? Can you imagine how insane the odds are going to be for this fight when UFC 148 rolls around? Cyborg/Yamanaka insane would be our prediction.
And while we’re fantasizing, suppose McKenzie somehow manages to choke Mendes into next week, what does the UFC do with him then? If Erik Koch can earn a title shot with a win over Jonathan Brookins a year ago, #RallyforMcKenzie campaigns are going to be popping up on the Twitter accounts of every Deadliest Catch and Ice Road Truckers cast-member overnight. Tins of Grizzly chewing tobacco are going to quadruple in value, and children are going to start guillotining each other on playgrounds across the nation. It will be complete and utter chaos. Sean Shelby, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!!
The full lineup for UFC 148 (minus some changes that we will be made aware of this evening) lies below.
Preliminary Card:
Melvin Guillard vs. Fabricio Camoes
Gleison Tibau vs. Khabib Nurmagomedov
Shane Roller vs. John Alessio
Riki Fukuda vs. Constantinos Philippou
Chad Mendes vs. Cody McKenzie
TBD Renan Barao vs. Ivan Menjivar
Main Card:
Demian Maia vs. Dong Hyun Kim
Rich Franklin vs. Cung Le
Tito Ortiz vs. Forrest Griffin
Urijah Faber vs. TBD *cough* Renan Barao *cough*
Chael Sonnen vs. Anderson Silva