(Too. Damn. Talented.)
By: Jason Moles
I’m sure there are more important things to talk about just days away from Jones-Henderson Jones-Sonnen Jones-Machida Jones-Belfort than another gimmicky post attempting to be relevant, but it’s been a while since we gave away CagePotato T-Shirts and we love you guys so much that we’ve decided to do it again. Here’s how it’s going to go down. Below is a list of 25 fighters and a brave attempt to describe them in three words. Not two, not four, just three simple words. Pretty easy, right? Read through them, then tweet us @CagePotatoMMA with your own three-word MMA fighter descriptions, including the hashtag #MMAFighterIn3Words. The three best submissions by tomorrow at 5 p.m. ET will win a shirt. (We’ll update this post with the winners after we select them.) Now let’s begin, shall we?
Quinton “Rampage” Jackson: Exit stage left.
Alexander “The Mauler” Gustafsson: Seeking next level.
Jon “Bones” Jones: If Healthy, Undefeated.*
Diego “The Dream” Sanchez: Starting over again.
Leonard Garcia: God help him.
Matt Hughes: Slayer of beasts.
Nate Diaz: Championship is possible.
Nick Diaz: Public relations nightmare.
Anderson “The Spider” Silva: Greatest fighter ever.
Chael Sonnen: Milking his schtick.
Brian Stann: Tough but limited.
“Big Country” Roy Nelson: Needs Mike Dolce.
Rich “Ace” Franklin: Lifetime company man.
“The Axe Murderer” Wanderlei Silva: Should retire soon.
Benson “Smooth” Henderson: Still question power.
Clay “The Carpenter” Guida: Seemingly no plan.
Shane Carwin: Age now issue.
Frank Mir: Another convenient injury.
Forrest Griffin: Chin erosion continues
Josh Koscheck: Still a d*ck.
Michael “The Count” Bisping: Continually underrated talent
“The American Psycho” Stephan Bonnar: Don’t count out.
“The Natural Born Killer” Carlos Condit: Don’t count on.
Pat “HD” Barry: Next stop, Strikeforce.
Georges “Rush” St.Pierre: Per for mance.
* I will never concede that Matt Hamill “won” that fight. That was a garbage-ass call.