Stop me if you’ve heard it. Better yet, stop Chael P. Sonnen, because it’s his schtick, an act I know I’ve listened to close to a hundred times at this point.
“We’re coming to Newark on 4/27, 7 PM, 10 in the east and only on pay-per-view.”
It’s a message delivered with all the authenticity of a used car salesman, his voice shifting into gears usually reserved for the guy who reads the fine print in radio ads. Sonnen is in pure huckster mode when he drops this little gem, usually immediately after ducking a question he doesn’t feel like answering. Which, basically, includes any discussion of his actual fight, whether his record merits a title fight at all, or how he intends to beat the best light heavyweight in the world.
You’ll hear it at least once in every interview he does. It’s a staple of his act, right up there with his claim to have “the largest arms, the greatest charm and all the harm.”
And man, is it ever tired.
When Sonnen first forced his way into the hearts and minds of hardcore UFC fans, he was doing something no one had seen before. His overt appropriation of pro wrestling memes and over-the-top bravado was perfectly distilled for a sport desperately short on irony.
It was a blast, something different, a world apart from the standard shows of respect or hatred, the two diametrically different emotions that together made up the seemingly only acceptable MMA viewpoints. At least in a pre-Sonnen world.
Sonnen winked at all of us, letting us know it was okay to take this sport, even though it was essentially fist fighting in a cage, as something a bit less serious than life or death. It was just plain fun to hear him insult MMA sacred cows like the Nogueira brothers, saying things that made everyone in the room put their hand to their mouths, wondering if it was okay to laugh.
That was all several years ago now. What was once fresh and exciting is no longer quiet so inviting. His ode to “Superstar” Billy Graham has survived several pay-per-view cycles now. We heard it leading into his fight with Michael Bisping last January and we’re still hearing it today. That, in a nutshell, is the problem.
Perfectly executed, Sonnen’s pro wrestling gimmick is self perpetuating. It’s adaptable to almost any situation or opponent.
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