Armchair Matchmaker: ‘UFC 167: St. Pierre vs. Hendricks’ Edition


(Looks like someone could use a male nurse right about now. Photo via Getty.)

Now three days removed from the most controversial title fight decision since two title fights ago, it seems that we cannot stop talking about the rumors surrounding Georges St. Pierre, his future in the UFC, and what he “owes us,” if anything. But what about the rest of the “doomed” welterweight division, and everyone else who walked away from UFC 167 with a win?

That’s right, it’s armchair matchmaker time, bitches. Join us after the jump for the only non GSP-related article you will read today.


(Looks like someone could use a male nurse right about now. Photo via Getty.)

Now three days removed from the most controversial title fight decision since two title fights ago, it seems that we cannot stop talking about the rumors surrounding Georges St. Pierre, his future in the UFC, and what he “owes us,” if anything. But what about the rest of the “doomed” welterweight division, and everyone else who walked away from UFC 167 with a win?

That’s right, it’s armchair matchmaker time, bitches. Join us after the jump for the only non GSP-related article you will read today.

Rashad Evans: In our eyes, there’s not much to take away from Evans’ dominant victory over Chael Sonnen this past Saturday (*cue Debbie Downer noise*). Sure, he outgrappled and completely controlled an oversized middleweight (who didn’t want to fight him in the first place and already had his next fight lined up, BTW), but anyone who has ever seen a Rashad Evans fight knows that his grappling game is not to be questioned.

Further adding to Evans’ woes is the fact that he’s fought damn near everyone in the LHW division — while he’s a far cry from another title shot, he’s also simply too good to be placed against middle of the pack fighters. There’s only one sensible option for Evans, really, and that’s the winner of the James Te Huna vs. Mauricio Rua fight at Fight Night 33. While Rua has hinted at a drop to middleweight recently, we don’t really believe that he plans to start cutting an additional 20 pounds at this stage in his career. Te Huna, on the other hand, seems like the kind of guy who would fight his mother for the last slice of leftover pizza. In any case, book the winner against “Suga.”

Robbie Lawler: Although I still like our idea of giving GSP (Ed note: Dammit! This is the last time we will mention St. Pierre in this article. We swear.) some much needed time off and booking a Lawler vs. Hendricks interim title fight in his absence, who here wouldn’t rightfully lose their shit over the idea of Lawler vs. the Matt Brown/Carlos Condit winner? Lawler has been on nothing short of a killing spree since reentering the UFC, and a fight with either Brown or Condit has FOTY written all over it. Simple.

Tyron Woodley: Since entering the UFC, Woodley has sandwiched a snoozefest of a decision loss to former top contender Jake Shields between a pair of brilliant first round KO wins over Jay Hieron and most recently Josh Koscheck. Not bad for a guy who was nearly decapitated by Nate Marquardt (who has suffered 2 brutal KO losses of his own since re-entering the UFC) in his final Strikeforce fight. Speaking of Marquardt, we can think of no better fight for Woodley to take at the current time than the last man to defeat “The Great”: Hector Lombard. “Lightning” has been similarly inconsistent since joining the ranks last year, and a fight with Woodley would tell fans a lot about the futures of both men at 170 lbs.

Ali Babaganoushatov: Although our gambling expert, Dan George, correctly predicted that Bageltinov’s grappling prowess would lead him to victory over Tim Elliott, it was still impressive to see how far the Russian has come in just two UFC fights. And being that the flyweight division is currently as shallow as my niece’s SpongeBob Squarepants-themed splashy pool, why not match Borknagarov up with John Lineker?

The Brazilian’s toughest opponent to date by far has been the scale, which has weighed heavily (*self five*) on his current four fight win streak at 125 lbs. It would be interesting, however, to see how Lineker fares against the similarly-streaking Russian, who proved himself to be UFC-worthy in his victory over Elliott (something that most of Lineker’s former UFC opponents have yet to do). What the hell? Give the winner a title shot.

Donald Cerrone: After an up and down year saw “Cowboy” drop 2 out of 3 fights for the first time since his WEC days, Cerrone was finally able to show some flashes of his old self against Evan Dunham last weekend, locking up a SOTN-earning (by default) triangle late in the second round. Cerrone has also been hinting at dropping down a weight class — much to the shagrin of Dana White — but should he stay at lightweight, we’d like to see him take on whoever emerges victorious from the Michael Johnson/Gleison Tibau scrap at UFC 168 next month. Both guys are solid, strong lightweights who have simply failed to break into the upper-echelon of the 155 lb. division over the years, so a fight with Cerrone would make sense for all parties involved.

Who do you think the big winners from UFC 167 should face next, Nation? Let us know in the comments section. 

J. Jones

Armchair Matchmaker: ‘UFC 166: Velasquez vs. Dos Santos III’ Edition


(Quick, someone call Wanderlei Silva‘s plastic surgeon! Photo via Reddit MMA)

Now that we’ve all come down from the meth-like high that UFC 166 provided, let’s get down to some business, shall we? Fans and pundits of the sport alike have previously hailed our armchair matchmakers as “The most sagacious, in-depth and intellectually gratifying reading experiences in all of mixed martial arts reporting,” so let’s hope we can work our magic for Saturday’s biggest winners. Besides, AMC FearFest starts soon and we will be checking out for the rest of this month once that gets underway.

Cain Velasquez: Well, according to Dana White during Saturday’s media scrum, Velasquez will be facing Fabricio Werdum next. Don’t be fooled by Werdum’s recent three-fight killing spree, though; Velasquez will have “Vai Cavalo” butt-flopping all over the mat inside of two rounds. That greedy sonofabitch.

Daniel Cormier: To hell with who Cormier should be matched up with next, I want to be matched up with Cormier’s kickboxing coach and learn the art of the turning side check kick, STAT. In all seriousness, we’d like to see the former Olympian matched up with fellow grappling stud Phil Davis next. Davis is fresh off a split decision over Lyoto Machida at UFC 163, and if Cormier is as insistent on cutting to LHW as he seems, Davis would make for a perfect litmus test.


(Quick, someone call Wanderlei Silva‘s plastic surgeon! Photo via Reddit MMA)

Now that we’ve all come down from the meth-like high that UFC 166 provided, let’s get down to some business, shall we? Fans and pundits of the sport alike have previously hailed our armchair matchmakers as “The most sagacious, in-depth and intellectually gratifying reading experiences in all of mixed martial arts reporting,” so let’s hope we can work our magic for Saturday’s biggest winners. Besides, AMC FearFest starts soon and we will be checking out for the rest of this month once that gets underway.

Cain Velasquez: Well, according to Dana White during Saturday’s media scrum, Velasquez will be facing Fabricio Werdum next. Don’t be fooled by Werdum’s recent three-fight killing spree, though; Velasquez will have “Vai Cavalo” butt-flopping all over the mat inside of two rounds. That greedy sonofabitch.

Daniel Cormier: To hell with who Cormier should be matched up with next, I want to be matched up with Cormier’s kickboxing coach and learn the art of the turning side check kick, STAT. In all seriousness, we’d like to see the former Olympian matched up with fellow grappling stud Phil Davis next. Davis is fresh off a split decision over Lyoto Machida at UFC 163, and if Cormier is as insistent on cutting to LHW as he seems, Davis would make for a perfect litmus test.

Gilbert Melendez: Either T.J. Grant or Khabib Nurmagomedov. Grant’s already injured his way out of a title shot, and with Josh Thomson taking on Anthony Pettis next, a fight between Melendez (who lost a razor-thin split decision to former champ Ben Henderson in his previous fight) and Grant would make for a sure-to-be slugfest that would help determine the true #1 contender in an already stacked division. Now that we’ve seen how Melendez deals with an extrovert-lunatic like Sanchez, it will be interesting to see how he handles an introverted, Ed Gein-esque lunatic like Grant. Because you just know that Grant has robbed a grave or two in his day. He’s got that look in his eyes.

Of course, now that Nurmagomedov is farmboy slamming top contenders like Pat Healy and calling for title shots in his post-fight interviews, a fight with the former Strikeforce champion could be the validating fight he’s been looking for. His name still doesn’t carry the kind of power that Melendez’s does, but a win over the Russian would solidify “El Nino’s” place as a future title challenger.

Gabriel Gonzaga: While watching UFC 166 at a particularly distressing Buffalo Wild Wings in Skokie, Illinois last weekend, I overheard a man known only as “Possum” refer to Gonzaga as “a real Jekyll and Hyde” fighter. It was perhaps the most astute fighter analysis I have ever heard. Thankfully, Gonzaga has been a lot more Hyde than Jekyll in his second UFC run, putting together four stoppage wins against just one defeat. With that in mind, we think the UFC should give Gonzaga another shot at glory against an upper-echelon heavyweight and see how he fares. Although Stipe Miocic is basically the only guy who fits the above criteria and doesn’t currently have a fight booked, we think the winner of the Frank Mir/Alistair Overeem fight would make for a better matchup. Our prediction: Pain

John Dodson: There are really only two options available for the hardest hitting flyweight in the division: You either give him the Lineker-Harris winner or the Jorgensen-McCall winner. Or you give him another title shot. Or you give him another UFC newbie to beat on and kill some time. OK, so there’s four options. But only two of them are sensible, so take your pick.

What do you think, Potato Nation? Do these matchups intrigue you in the slightest? And who would you like to see UFC 166′s losers face next?

J. Jones

Armchair Matchmaker: ‘UFC 165: Jones vs. Gustafsson’ Edition


(Photo of the Year. Hands Down. Via Esther Lin/MMAFighting.) 

Like our esteemed colleague George Shunick, I have never been happier to admit that I was completely wrong in all but writing off Alexander Gustafsson in the weeks leading up to his battle with Jon Jones at UFC 165. And like most of you, I’m still reeling from what was one of the greatest light heavyweight title fights in MMA History and quite possibly the fight of the year, which makes this Armchair Matchmaker piece all the more difficult to construct.

Did Gustafsson get screwed, like Phil Davis would have you believe? Should an immediate rematch be booked between the Swede and the champ? Follow us below to find out what lies in store for Jon Jones and the rest of UFC 165’s biggest winners.

Jon Jones: I might be in the minority here, but I’m going to suggest that the UFC should hold off on booking an immediate Jones/Gustafsson rematch. Here’s why:


(Photo of the Year. Hands Down. Via Esther Lin/MMAFighting.) 

Like our esteemed colleague George Shunick, I have never been happier to admit that I was completely wrong in all but writing off Alexander Gustafsson in the weeks leading up to his battle with Jon Jones at UFC 165. And like most of you, I’m still reeling from what was one of the greatest light heavyweight title fights in MMA History and quite possibly the fight of the year, which makes this Armchair Matchmaker piece all the more difficult to construct.

Did Gustafsson get screwed, like Phil Davis would have you believe? Should an immediate rematch be booked between the Swede and the champ? Follow us below to find out what lies in store for Jon Jones and the rest of UFC 165′s biggest winners.

Jon Jones: I might be in the minority here, but I’m going to suggest that the UFC should hold off on booking an immediate Jones/Gustafsson rematch.

Was Jones vs. Gustafsson an unexpectedly close fight with a razor-thin, controversial decision? It’s an opinion largely dependent on how you scored round 2 and whether or not you thought Bones’ spinning elbow in round 4 completely nullified the 4 minute ass-whooping Gustafsson was dishing out until that point.

In either case, we can’t have the UFC going all Frankie Edgar everytime there’s an arguably close title fight. For one, it clogs up a division where there is at least one other contender lying in wait. Secondly, it doesn’t give the UFC a ton of time to emphasize/promote just how great the first fight was and reel in casual audiences for the rematch. There’s a reason Sonnen vs. Silva 2 was the biggest UFC pay-per-view of all time, and it’s not just because Chael talks some good trash. Our ADD-riddled culture may resent the idea of being treated to a good old fashioned slow burn at first, but giving this potential rematch some time to stew will most certainly pay off in the long run.

As for the champ? Feed him Glover Teixeira next like we were promised. The Brazilian’s slow, plodding offensive style plays in direct contrast with that of the Swede’s and should make for an arguably easier fight for Bones to control. Arguably. Jones gets another victory under his belt and some added footage for his highlight reel, the UFC gets some more time to hype up the rematch and us fans get the opportunity to pass along (stolen) videos of Jones/Gustafsson 1 to everyone on our contact lists. To steal a catchphrase from what feels like decades ago: Winning.

Alexander Gustafsson: Obviously, the above scenario we just presented would not be complete without including what’s next for “The Mauler,” whose Twitter account has likely imploded with new follower requests by now. But with Jones taking on Teixeira next (in our falsely-constructed reality), what’s left for the Swede? The answer is simple: A tune-up fight of sorts against a highly-ranked competitor whom Gustafsson should be able to best without too much trouble. Antonio Rogerio Nogueira immediately comes to mind.

After suffering back-to-back defeats in 2010-11, the Brazilian has had a minor surge as of late, defeating former champions Tito Ortiz and Rashad Evans in consecutive bouts. Lil’ Nog will be coming off an injury but is skilled enough, well known enough and dangerous enough to keep this fight from entering squash match territory. That being said, Gustafsson’s size, speed and newly-showcased grappling prowess should prove too much for Nogueira. As with Jones, Gustafsson would secure another victory and some potential highlight footage over a solid opponent, as well as solidify his status as the top challenger to Bones’ crown.

Renan Barao: We don’t care if Barao has to show up to one of Dominick Cruz‘s physical therapy sessions and kick “The Dominator’s” cane out from under him; make this fight happen or strip Cruz’s title. Simple.

Brendan Schaub: What can be said about Schaub at this point, really? The man simply doesn’t have the chin to stand with top-level strikers and is clearly afraid to roll with top-level Jitz guys, so who do we place him with? Todd Duffee? Shawn Jordan (should he best Gabriel Gonzaga next month)? The Soa Palelei/Pat Barry winner?

It’s not that Schaub’s toe-twitching D’arce of Matt Mitrione wasn’t impressive…it was. It’s that Schaub has already fought a decent percentage of the UFC’s heavyweight division and has either failed spectacularly against the upper echelon or triumphed spectacularly against the mid-to-low level guys. There was also his “cerebral” win over Lavar Johnson, but let’s just do like everyone else and forget that that fight ever happened. Of the options we’ve presented, the Palelei/Barry winner probably makes the most sense.

Francis Carmont: It’s a good thing that Ben Askren hasn’t been defeated yet (WAIT), because the day he is will be the day that Francis Carmont secures the #1 spot on the “Most Unimpressive Win Streak in MMA” list. His decision victory over Costa Philippou sucked and was rightfully panned by fans and UFC presidents alike — it might have been the first fight in MMA history to feature more battle cries than actual shots landed. Putting aside the fact that Carmont’s previous two victories were controversial snoozefests at best and outright screwjobs at worst, we say Carmont should face Thales Leites next. Both men are ground-fighting aficionados with styles that are anything but fan-friendly, so bury these two on an undercard somewhere and give fans an opportunity to refresh their drinks.

Khabib Nurmagomedov: In direct contrast to Carmont, Khabib Nurmagomedov’s impressive win streak was only validated by his dominant victory on Saturday night. Khabib was given the ultimate grinder in Pat Healy, yet he managed to outgrind (phrasing), outgrapple, outgun and out-Hughes Healy for three straight rounds. A title shot may still be a bit presumptuous for the Russian badass given Josh Thomson and T.J. Grant‘s places in the pecking order, but a fight with fellow top contender Rafael Dos Anjos?!

In case you didn’t get the message, we like that idea. A lot.

Are any of these matchups intriguing you in the slightest, Potato Nation? And who do you think Saturday night’s other winners (Jury, Thomson, Makdessi) should face next?

J. Jones

Armchair Matchmaker: ‘UFC on FOX 7: Henderson vs. Melendez’ Edition


(“Well, Joe, I’d just like to thank God for giving me the strength to-OH SHIT HERE COMES THE REST OF ‘EM.” Photo courtesy of Getty Images.) 

Let us begin this week’s edition of the Armchair Matchmaker with a few fun facts about last Saturday’s UFC on FOX 7 event

-With eight (T)KO’s, UFC on FOX 7 tied UFC 92 for the most (T)KO finishes in a single UFC event in the promotion’s history.

-In defeating Jordan Mein via second round TKO, the resurgent Matt Brown now holds the third longest win streak (5) amongst active UFC welterweights, as well as the record for (T)KO finishes in the welterweight division. Yet incredibly, the FOTN check Brown received was the first end of the night bonus he has earned in some 15 UFC fights.

-Frank Mir, like, really dropped the ball against Daniel Cormier.

Now, using those absolute truths and a little speculation, let’s decide who the biggest winners and losers from UFC on FOX 7 should face next, shall we?

The Winners

Ben Henderson: Well, we already know who he’ll be facing next, so that one is pretty easy. The question now becomes: How do you see Bendo taking it? Split decision, unanimous decision, or the always rare majority decision?


(“Well, Joe, I’d just like to thank God for giving me the strength to-OH SHIT HERE COMES THE REST OF ‘EM.” Photo courtesy of Getty Images.) 

Let us begin this week’s edition of the Armchair Matchmaker with a few fun facts about last Saturday’s UFC on FOX 7 event

-With eight (T)KO’s, UFC on FOX 7 tied UFC 92 for the most (T)KO finishes in a single UFC event in the promotion’s history.

-In defeating Jordan Mein via second round TKO, the resurgent Matt Brown now holds the third longest win streak (5) amongst active UFC welterweights, as well as the record for (T)KO finishes in the welterweight division. Yet incredibly, the FOTN check Brown received was the first end of the night bonus he has earned in some 15 UFC fights.

-Frank Mir, like, really dropped the ball against Daniel Cormier.

Now, using those absolute truths and a little speculation, let’s decide who the biggest winners and losers from UFC on FOX 7 should face next, shall we?

The Winners

Ben Henderson: Well, we already know who he’ll be facing next, so that one is pretty easy. The question now becomes: How do you see Bendo taking it? Split decision, unanimous decision, or the always rare majority decision?

Daniel Cormier: Now this one is tricky. On one hand, Cormier has been hinting at a drop to light heavyweight for what feels like years now. On the other, his victory over Mir, as well as his wins over Josh Barnett and Antonio Silva have proved that Cormier can pretty much overpower whoever he wants. If he plans on staying at heavyweight, it’s hard to argue that Cormier isn’t a win or two away from a title shot, regardless of how he looked against Mir.

The main problem is that the future of the heavyweight division is pretty much in a state of limbo until UFC 160 goes down next month. With the Cain Velasquez vs. Bigfoot Silva rematch determining the heavyweight champion and Junior Dos Santos vs. Mark Hunt presumably determining the next #1 contender, the only matchup that really makes sense for Cormier would be against the winner of the Fabricio Werdum/Big Nog fight at UFC on FUEL 10 in May, which will cap off their gigs as coaches on the second season of TUF: Brazil. Unless you think Todd Duffee has earned a big step up in competition of course.

Josh Thomson: Despite being a former Strikeforce champ and longtime veteran of the game, Josh Thomson might be the most underrated fighter in the lightweight division. That was of course, until he finished the previously unfinishable (and former title challenger) Nate Diaz last weekend. Granted, it appeared as if Diaz was headed to fatter pastures regardless of his performance, but that takes nothing away from Thomson’s incredible accomplishment.

Again, Thomson finds himself in a unique situation, as the UFC’s lightweight division does not currently offer a lot of sensible fights for “The Punk” to take. Anthony Pettis is headed South, Bendo already has his next fight lined up, and Jose Aldo will get the title shot after that if he is able to best Pettis. And as entertaining as their first three fights were, there is no way in Hell we are going to suggest Thomson vs. Melendez IV. So…Donald Cerrone (If/After he beats K.J. Noons at UFC 160) maybe?

Matt Brown: Demian Maia. There’s only one way to see just how far Brown can go in his current career comeback, and as much as we’d love to match “The Immortal” up against another fellow banger — like say, the Lawler/Saffiedine winner – we should first see if Brown’s submission defense is still as mortal as it used to be before we allow this pipe dream to continue any longer.

The Losers 

Gilbert Melendez: The loser of the Grant/Maynard #1 contender fight. Simple.

Frank Mir: Heading into last weekend’s fight with Cormier, Mir stated that he was guilty of “not showing up” for certain fights throughout his career. But now that he was training away from his family for the first time, Mir promised us that he would make a statement against “DC.” While I personally think that Mir has earned his current pay rate in the UFC through concussions alone, it would be almost impossible to claim that he “showed up” on Saturday. Mir looked sluggish and uninspired for the majority of his co-main event scrap and now finds himself in the first two-fight skid of his career.

Being that he’s fought the who’s who of his division and the fact that everyone else of note is tied up at the moment, we’d say give Mir a break for the time being and have him fight Matt Mitrione whenever he returns from his current suspension. Both guys are known for making controversial statements and will likely needle the shit out of each other in the weeks leading up to the fight, and isn’t that the best scenario we could ask for given both guys current career trajectories? I know, I’ll see myself out.

Nate Diaz: Hey, we already laid out the terms of Diaz’s future at 170 lbs. when he first announced that he would be headed back to the welterweight division. Prepare yourself, Papy Abedi, for a storm of Stockton Heybuddies and fisticuffs is headed your way.

Jordan Mein: He may be coming off a loss, but does anyone else think the prospect of seeing Mein square off with fellow Canadian slugger and newly-minted welterweight Patrick Cote is too perfect to pass up? *cue the overwhelming disapproval of this notion* Cote looked outstanding in (the first two rounds of) his victory over Bobby Voelker at UFC 158 and a fight with Mein would be a perfect litmus test for either fighter. DO IT OR WE’LL PICK UP JOE SILVA AGAIN.

Give us your general thoughts on UFC on FOX 7, along with who you think the winners and losers should face next, in the comments section. 

J. Jones

Armchair Matchmaker: ‘UFC 158: St. Pierre vs. Diaz’ Edition


(If there was ever an image that summed up Nick Diaz’s mental state at all times, this is it. Photo courtesy of Getty Images.) 

By Jack Saladino

After months, nay, years of hype, trash-talking, late night hotel stalking incidents, and promises of Georges St. Pierre unleashing “his dark side,” UFC 158 finally transpired last weekend to mixed reception. While no one was left questioning how great the night’s co-main event battle between Carlos Condit and Johny Hendricks was, GSP’s one-sided, grappling-heavy routing of Nick Diaz — which has become the champ’s M.O. as of late — left more than a few fans wondering just what it would take to get St. Pierre to actually try and finish an opponent. Because if that was his dark side, well, it looked a hell of a lot like his regular side.

On the other side of the coin, many fans saw GSP’s performance as the epitome of dominance and classiness in the face of an adversary that thrives when coercing opponents into playing his game, often through mental warfare and now attempted cheap shots after the bell. Based on his continually skyrocketing ticket sales, it appears that no one has grown tired of St. Pierre’s shtick just yet, but will a fight with Hendricks succeed in bringing in anywhere near as many ticket/PPV sales? And if not Hendricks, then who?

It’s not an easy question for UFC matchmaker Joe Silva to answer, but luckily for him, this is typically the time when the Armchair Matchmaker swoops in and all but does his job for him. So join us after the jump as we break down the potential futures of last weekend’s biggest winners (and some of the losers) in an effort to once again bail out Silva and get ourselves back into the UFC’s good graces. You could detect the sarcasm in that last statement, right?

Georges St. Pierre: Hendricks, then a long awaited superfight with Anderson Silva, then retirement. What…have you not heard about the welterweight champion’s secret UFC exit/world domination plan yet? Well we suggest that you break free from the conformist, white-washed shell of ignorance you’ve been living in all these years and get with the Goddamn picture. Also, the destruction of the Death Star was an inside job. Time to wake up, Taters.


(If there was ever an image that summed up Nick Diaz’s mental state at all times, this is it. Photo courtesy of Getty Images.) 

By Jack Saladino

After months, nay, years of hype, trash-talking, late night hotel stalking incidents, and promises of Georges St. Pierre unleashing “his dark side,” UFC 158 finally transpired last weekend to mixed reception. While no one was left questioning how great the night’s co-main event battle between Carlos Condit and Johny Hendricks was, GSP’s one-sided, grappling-heavy routing of Nick Diaz — which has become the champ’s M.O. as of late — left more than a few fans wondering just what it would take to get St. Pierre to actually try and finish an opponent. Because if that was his dark side, well, it looked a hell of a lot like his regular side.

On the other side of the coin, many fans saw GSP’s performance as the epitome of dominance and classiness in the face of an adversary that thrives when coercing opponents into playing his game, often through mental warfare and now attempted cheap shots after the bell. Based on his continually skyrocketing ticket sales, it appears that no one has grown tired of St. Pierre’s shtick just yet, but will a fight with Hendricks succeed in bringing in anywhere near as many ticket/PPV sales? And if not Hendricks, then who?

It’s not an easy question for UFC matchmaker Joe Silva to answer, but luckily for him, this is typically the time when the Armchair Matchmaker swoops in and all but does his job for him. So join us after the jump as we break down the potential futures of last weekend’s biggest winners (and some of the losers) in an effort to once again bail out Silva and get ourselves back into the UFC’s good graces. You could detect the sarcasm in that last statement, right?

Georges St. Pierre: Hendricks, then a long awaited superfight with Anderson Silva, then retirement. What…have you not heard about the welterweight champion’s secret UFC exit/world domination plan yet? Well we suggest that you break free from the conformist, white-washed shell of ignorance you’ve been living in all these years and get with the Goddamn picture. Also, the destruction of the Death Star was an inside job. Time to wake up, Taters.

Nick DiazWho the hell knows, man? In the weeks leading up to the fight, Diaz seemed like he was going to face facts and actually own up if he lost. Again, seemed. And as he could have hoped for, the Stocktonian had plenty of opportunities to punch GSP in the face without the fear of being taken down or rode like a pony during the fight itself. But of course, once he lost, things quickly devolved into the Tazmanian Devil-esque whir of incompetence and contradicting statements that only Nick Diaz can bring to the table.

While I love Nick, I think he should stick to fights with guys that actually want to stand up and fight. Guys with little-to-nothing to lose. Guys who aren’t afraid of a good old fashioned barnburner. Martin Kampmann expressed a desire to fight Diaz after he lost to GSP, which Diaz fans took as an insult (because of course they did) and took to the twit-o-sphere with a Stockton backlash. That might be the fuel Diaz needs to come in and showcase some of that boxing we all miss. Kampmann is no slouch either, compiling a nice winning streak until his flash KO against Hendricks last November. Two fighters with a slew of KO’s and subs who all but detest the thought of a decision victory; who wouldn’t want to see that matchup?

Jake “The Juggernaut, BITCH!” Ellenberger: Ellenberger looked absolutely menacing against Nate Marquardt, in what was slated to be a “don’t blink” kind of matchup. After a few exchanges, Jake was able to back Marquardt up against the cage and turn a missed body kick into a 1-2 combo that left Nate slumped in the corner, face down, ass up. Ellenberger certainly solidified that meaningless #6 next to his name and possibly passed Carlos Condit in the rankings with his victory. Because Ellenberger took almost no damage in his fight, I’d like to get him back in the octagon soon against another ranked welterweight like Demian Maia or preferably the last Strikeforce welterweight champion, Tarec Saffiedine, who is also coming off a win against Marquardt.

Carlos Condit: Although not completely unexpected, it was Johny Hendricks’ ability to take Condit down at will — not his Spiny Blue Shell of a left hand — that secured his victory by unanimous decision. Condit has now lost his last two fights and hasn’t finished a fight in his past three. He won’t lose his top ten ranking but he will need to rebound well if he doesn’t want to fall victim to the “Cut from the UFC Flow Chart.”  I think his next match up should be tough guy and welterweight novice, Court McGee. McGee might not exactly be a big name, but Condit seemed to be fond of putting his knee into Hendricks’ beard and McGee’s scruffy soup-saver could simulate that same sort of pleasure. What? I’ll use whatever qualifications I see fit. Besides, we know that McGee is always down for a slugfest from his fights with Josh Neer, Costa Philippou, and Nick Ring. Set it up.

Chris Camozzi: Camozzi has compiled himself a nice and almost completely overlooked 4-fight win streak in the UFC since his loss to Francis Carmont at UFC 137. His victory against the always tough Nick Ring is a big step forward in his career and he will be a main card feature from now on. The hodgepodge of middleweights is a good place to keep your winning streak going, but he should be facing an even tougher challenge in his next bout against Tom Watson, a fellow banger and former BAMMA middleweight champ who recently scored a KOTN/FOTN victory over Stanislav Nedkov at UFC on FUEL 7. It would be a great win for either fighter and one that would be sure to be a crowd-pleaser.

Mike Ricci: In his fight versus fellow TUF-loser Colin Fletcher, Ricci managed to secure a unanimous decision victory in a lackluster bout with “Freakshow,” whose nickname could not be less indicative of his fighting style. Ricci’s ability to use his jab and transition smoothly on the ground all the while adding some G-n-P (or GSP…) neutralized the height and reach of Fletcher, which seemed to be his only advantage in this bout.

Like most of you, I’m not really sure why this fight was on the main card; I would have much rather seen Makdessi and Cruickshank instead. While Ricci was victorious in his return to lightweight, he still came away from the bout appearing as if he needs some motivation to really light a fire under his ass. That’s why I’d send him to a fighter who could really put his lights out if he’s not careful: Yves Edwards. The “Thugjitsu Master” is coming off a split decision loss to Isaac Vallie-Flag and would surely love to showcase some skills against Ricci. This match up would be a good fit for UFC 161 in Winnipeg, Manitoba, as Ricci is Canadian. As we know, Canadians really love supporting each other.

What do you guys think? Are there any different matchups you’d like to see in the wake of UFC 158?

Armchair Matchmaker: ‘UFC on Fox: Johnson vs. Dodson’ Edition


(Well, that might explain the spray tan, at least. Photo courtesy of Getty Images.)

It’s safe to say that the UFC’s latest trip to the land of major network television succeeded in exceeding most of our expectations. For starters, the event pulled in much higher viewership numbers than most pundits of the sport (and apparently the UFC’s marketing department) ever believed a card topped off by a flyweight fight could do. The fact that the card delivered exciting finishes and entertaining brawls from top to bottom further cemented our belief that the UFC has truly started to hit their stride with Fox. Not that we ever doubted them, but things were looking hairy for a while there *thinks back to UFC on Fox 2, shudders*. 

But today, we must gather up last weekend’s results like a herd of slaughtered bison, take to our (ban)wagons, and forge ahead to the river of subjectivity that is the armchair matchmaker (Oregon Trail metaphors. They’re like, so in right now.). So join us after the jump as we breakdown what is next for some of Saturday’s biggest winners.

Demetrious Johnson: Challenger John Dodson might have brought the pop rocks to his first ever UFC title fight, but Demetrious Johnson surely brought the coke. And by coke, I mean cocaine. Because Johnson fights like he’s on…you know what, forget it. The Tazmanian Devil-esque tornado of takedowns known as “Mighty Mouse” is truly something to behold when he enters the octagon, combining a limitless gas tank with a simple will to survive that is unmatched by 90% of his MMA counterparts, flyweight or otherwise.


(Well, that might explain the spray tan, at least. Photo courtesy of Getty Images.)

It’s safe to say that the UFC’s latest trip to the land of major network television succeeded in exceeding most of our expectations. For starters, the event pulled in much higher viewership numbers than most pundits of the sport (and apparently the UFC’s marketing department) ever believed a card topped off by a flyweight fight could do. The fact that the card delivered exciting finishes and entertaining brawls from top to bottom further cemented our belief that the UFC has truly started to hit their stride with Fox. Not that we ever doubted them, but things were looking hairy for a while there *thinks back to UFC on Fox 2, shudders*. 

But today, we must gather up last weekend’s results like a herd of slaughtered bison, take to our (ban)wagons, and forge ahead to the river of subjectivity that is the armchair matchmaker (Oregon Trail metaphors. They’re like, so in right now.). So join us after the jump as we breakdown what is next for some of Saturday’s biggest winners.

Demetrious Johnson: Challenger John Dodson might have brought the pop rocks to his first ever UFC title fight, but Demetrious Johnson surely brought the coke. And by coke, I mean cocaine. Because Johnson fights like he’s on…you know what, forget it. The Tazmanian Devil-esque tornado of takedowns known as “Mighty Mouse” is truly something to behold when he enters the octagon, combining a limitless gas tank with a simple will to survive that is unmatched by 90% of his MMA counterparts, flyweight or otherwise.

Unfortunately, the UFC’s flyweight division is thinner than that of its participants, so Johnson’s options are severely limited. Although Tim Elliot made a statement in his dominant win over Jared Papazian at the TUF 16 Finale, the fact that he dropped a unanimous decision to Dodson prior to that means that he is still a win or two away from a shot. The only logical next step for Johnson would be against the winner of the Joseph Benavidez/Ian McCall fight at UFC 156. Johnson has the advantage of having faced both men before (and McCall twice actually) and it’s slim pickings right now for the champ. Who knows? Maybe he can use that advantage to score his first ever finish inside the UFC. Lord knows the flyweight division could use one every know and again.

Glover Teixeira: In what was easily the biggest fight of his budding career, Teixeira stepped up in a big way and did what no man has ever done before: beat the excuses right out of Rampage Jackson. And while that is an impressive accomplishment in and of itself, we don’t think Teixeira should be fast tracked to a title shot in the near future; that kind of privilege is best left for middleweights coming off a loss. Most websites out there are calling for Teixeira to take on the winner of the Rashad Evans/Lil’ Nog scrap, also scheduled for UFC 156, and it’s hard to disagree with that logic. The light heavyweight division has its fair share of viable contenders right now, with everyone from Alexander Gustafsson to Dan Henderson primed for a title shot with a victory in their next contest, so let’s give Glover a little more time to develop before we start dubbing him the #1 contender.

Anthony Pettis: If KO’ing a hard-nosed badass like Donald Cerrone in the first round didn’t make enough of a statement, doing so with an off-the-cage flying knee, a handspring (?) kick, and a liver kick to finish things off surely did. Give “Showtime” his much deserved title shot so we can see more of these shenanigans:

Also, make sure Stephan Bonnar is on announcing duties when Pettis gets said title shot.

Ricardo Lamas: Give Lamas whoever emerges victorious from the Jose Aldo/Frankie Edgar title fight at, you guessed it, UFC 156. Lamas has put together four straight over the division’s finest, and outside of Chan Sung-Jung — who is still sidelined from the shoulder surgery he underwent last July — is the only guy in the division ready for a shot at Aldo. Or Edgar. But probably Aldo.

T.J. Grant: With his incredibly impressive knockout win over Matt “Don’t Call Me Handsome Anymore” Wiman last weekend, Grant has suddenly established himself as one of the lightweight division’s hottest prospects. It may have taken him a few years under Zuffa’s embrace to pull off, but Grant now finds himself in the position to call out the Jim Millers of the division. Thankfully for us, Grant did just that. Miller is coming off a late Fight of the Year win over Joe Lauzon at UFC 155, and although Grant isn’t exactly a big name yet, a win for either man would send a resounding message to the rest of the lightweight division.

Clay Guida: On the heels of a split decision victory over Hatsu Hioki punctuated by dizzying head movement and top control, Guida proved that he is pretty much capable of doing the same things at featherweight as he did at lightweight. The perfect matchup for Guida at this point would be Nik Lentz, in our opinion. Currently riding a two fight win streak, Lentz is a similarly strong grappler who could possibly negate some of Guida’s hyper-blanket attack and would be a great litmus test for Guida in his newfound home.

So, Potato Nation, are there any matchups you find more relevant than what we’ve put together? Give us a shout in the comments section.

J. Jones