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Society Is Imploding: Three Delaware Daycare Workers Arrested for Inciting Toddler Fight Club

(I met three women with these blank, emotionless faces and…the blackest eyes. The devil’s eyes. Props to our buddies at FilmDrunk for the find.)

It’s pretty common knowledge that most of the writers here at CP have a particularly dark sense of humor. We talk about death around the water cooler with the casual, nonchalant attitude that coworkers in normal society exude when discussing TPS reports or last night’s episode of The Big Bang Theory. Our hearts are basically filled with obsidian, which we write off as a coping mechanism to deal the disintegrating society in which we live.

But apparently we don’t even hold a candle to the ladies running the Hands of Our Future Daycare in Dover, Delaware, who were recently arrested for staging, then recording, a fight between two three-year old children who had been dropped off at the daycare center earlier that morning.

Sound familiar?

Full story after the jump.

(I met three women with these blank, emotionless faces and…the blackest eyes. The devil’s eyes. Props to our buddies at FilmDrunk for the find.)

Sound familiar?

The news, which was originally broke by Daily Mail, claims that the three women not only goaded these children into fighting and recorded it, but even pushed them back into the Lionheart-esque “fight zone” when one of them had already admitted defeat:

According to police, Tiana Harris, 19, Lisa Parker, 47, and Estefania Myers, 21, were captured in a cell phone video egging on two three-year-old children to get physical for the fun of it at the Hands of Our Future Daycare in Dover, Delaware.

In the footage, taken in March, a toddler’s voice is heard crying out in pain, ‘He’s pinching me,’ as the little one tries to break free from a scuffle with another youngster.

Shockingly, the voice of one of the workers responds, ‘No pinching, only punching’ as the worker guides the child to stay in the fight zone at the center.

Clearly one of the children is crying and does not want to continue on and he is pushed back into the fray by one of the adults,’ Dover Police Captain Tim Stump told KYW-TV.

Although we’ve already decided that “No Pinching, Only Punching” is simply too catchy to not replace “We Pull No Punches” on our next batch of t-shirts, these ladies complete disregard for the verbal tapout rule is pretty abhorring. As was their decision to, you know, stage a fight between toddlers in the first place.

The actual footage of this despicable act has been seized by the Dover Police department as evidence in what we hope will be the eventual death by lethal injection trial of these three upstanding members of society, but the mothers of several other children attending the daycare center have come forward and expressed their shock and dismay over the news:

A mother of a child at the same day care, Cristyl Slack, said that her four-year-old daughter was in the room and witnessed the attack when the fight happened in March.
‘I can’t ever believe in a million years,’ another stunned mother, Amy Bickling, said, ‘I mean I would have to see the proof to believe it.’

I know I am perhaps doing a disservice to you readers by not delving into this any further, but for once I am simply at a loss of words. The trust it requires to leave one’s child in the care of a stranger is ineffable, and the violation of that trust in as horrifying a fashion as this warrants the strictest form of punishment imaginable. A punishment that will more than likely not be doled out to these cesspool-dwelling skidmarks on the underwear of human existence. It was bad enough when ArmFC hosted child fights in a smoke filled bar for the world to see, but this is simply beyond my grasp this early in the morning…

…so how about that Frankie Edgar, amiright? Guys?

–J. Jones

Nudechurchgate: Jason Miller Speaks Out Regarding Arrest, Promises “Everything is Fine”

(Subtract the fire extinguisher and a pair of trousers and this is basically what happened.)

No one really knew what to say when news broke that Jason “Mayhem” Miller was arrested in an Orange County church after breaking in, stripping down, destroying the place, and showering the remains in fire extinguisher retardant. They may make pamphlets to tell us if our little Johnny is high, but they sure as shit don’t make them for that situation, and our apathy/confusion toward the news reflected this. Miller had found his way to the blotter before, but this arrest was simply too bizarre to take in all at once. If Rampage Jackson was an episode of World’s Wildest Police Chases, Mayhem was an entire season of Reno 911. Specifically, the episodes featuring Terry.

There was also the fact that we were still digesting the bowlful of crazy that Miller had spewed at Dana White just days before, which truly raised some eyebrows in regards to Miller’s general well being. He had made his history of mental issues public knowledge before, and many of us assumed that it was likely these problems rearing their ugly heads once again when he was arrested. But according to Miller, who released a statement today to address our concerns following his release last week, declared that “everything is fine.” Granted, he also said the same thing to DW just days before his arrest, so take this with a grain of salt. Miller released the following via his Facebook and Twitter.

(Subtract the fire extinguisher and a pair of trousers and this is basically what happened.)

Facebook: I know you all are probably very confused about me right now, and concerned for my well being. I thank you for that, and please unnastand (sic) that everything is fine, and will probably make a lot more sense as time passes. Love you all.

He took to Twitter shortly after making these remarks:

Twitter: (It was) not a cry for attention, personal glory, or monetary gain. I did that in my time fighting for the UFC and have come to see I was wrong.

I am safe, with people that love me, and hope that you will join me. If I ever hurt anyone, I am sorry.

Although Miller didn’t discuss what led him to do what he did, it’s good to know that Miller is at least surrounding himself with the right people to help him pull through whatever state he is currently in. Mental disease is no joke, unless you’re faking it to win the Special Olympics of course, in which case it is hilarious.

We will have more on this story as the information is made available. In the mean time, send Mayhem your best over his Twitter or Facebook. If you don’t have either of those things, I don’t know, send him a letter maybe?

–J. Jones

UPDATED UFC Flyweight Contender Ian McCall Arrested

A community news and forum, Stu News Laguna reported Friday that UFC flyweight Ian McCall was arrested last Tuesday on some strange, if relatively benign, charges including “possession of narcotic paraphernalia, possession of prescription meds without a valid prescription, and driving on a suspended license,” after undercover DEA agents spotted him. According to a later report from MMA Weekly, however, McCall’s manager Jason House says that McCall’s arrest happened a bit differently and with different charges.

“According to House, McCall was driving home on Tuesday when an unmarked police car recognized his vehicle from past occurrences and pulled him over. The police ran McCall’s plates and they found an outstanding warrant in his name,” MMA Weekly reported.

“The warrant stemmed from a ticket issued in June for McCall driving under a suspended license. McCall apparently paid the fines, but did not make a scheduled court appearance due to a miscommunication and a warrant was issued.”

Well, that sounds a bit better, we suppose. After all, McCall has spoken publicly about his past struggles with drug abuse and while drug paraphernalia and excessive prescriptions are just downright American, they might not be the best thing for someone in recovery to have laying around.

The bad news for McCall is that he now has to spend a month in jail because he was on parole from past charges and a warrant was out in his name. His release date is scheduled for September 13th. His manager maintains that McCall has only been charged with driving under a suspended license.

McCall last fought Demetrius Johnson and lost a decision in the UFC flyweight tournament in June. He had to pull out of a fight on the UFC on Fox 4 card August 4th because of a knee injury.

– Elias Cepeda

UPDATE, August 18, 2012, 3:15 ET: McCall’s criminal attorney, George Vargas, released a statement to MMA Weekly detailing the incident.

In 2008, Ian was arrested for possession of prescription drugs without a
prescription and paraphernalia. The paraphernalia was needles that he used to
take the fluid out of his ears. Part of Ian’s punishment for that case was that
he was to do 20 days of Cal Trans (physical labor).

The following year, Ian was having more troubles and he entered and
completed a six-month residential drug treatment program at Nancy Clark’s The
Recovery Center in Orange County. Ian completely turned his life around, began
training hard and became the man he is today.

On June 14 of this year, Ian was pulled over for a traffic stop. He was
given a ticket for PC14601 (driving on a suspended license). Ian’s license had
been suspended for unpaid traffic and parking tickets.

The very next day, on June 15, Ian went to the Harbor Justice Center with
his agent, and paid over $2,600 in fines. He mistakenly thought that the ticket
from the previous day had been handled. A few weeks later, when the court date
for that case came, Ian did not show and a warrant was issued for his
arrest.

On Aug. 14, once again, Ian was stopped while driving home from the gym.
At that time he was arrested for the two warrants: one for not completing the
20 days of Cal Trans work for the 2008 case, and the other for not showing up to
court on the driving on a suspended license ticket that he had thought that he
had handled.

Good News, Jason Miller is Now Free to Wreak Havoc in a Town Near You

(Today, the Modern Methodist Church of Southern Viejo. Tommorow, THE WORLD.)

After spending a two-day stint in Orange County jail, complete with psychological evaluations and all, it appears that Jason “Mayhem” Miller has been released after posting the required $20,000 bail earlier today.

Living up to his nickname, Miller was responsible for what will likely become one of the most notorious arrests in MMA History when he was found naked inside a Mission Viejo church Tuesday, which he had both vandalized and sprayed with a fire extinguisher. Oddly enough, officers on the scene stated that Miller seemed to be completely coherent when he was discovered, and are currently awaiting a toxicology report to determine if he was under any mind altering substances at the time the crime was committed. Given the quick turnaround time, we’d guess that he was either on hippie crack or an epic dosage of whip-its.

Dana White, a.k.a the man who broke Mayhem’s heart and unknowingly caused all of this, has yet to comment on Miller’s arrest. Luckily, we’ve done it for him:

I tell you, this f*cking guy, with his f*cking f*ggy pink boas and boom boxes and dance moves and Japanese schoolgirls. He really needs a f*cking clue. It’s bad enough that he lost to f*cking Launchpad McQuack in his last performance, but now he goes out and pulls this sh*t. That’s all I gotta say, except f*ck you, f*ck Josh Gross, and f*ck Fedor. Dana out!

Word has it Mayhem is now accepting requests for birthday parties, bar mitzvahs, art gallery openings, or whatever event you would be willing to shuttle him to through his Facebook page. We’re not sure what it is he will do once he gets there, but you can rest assured that it will not be boring.

–J. Jones

(Today, the Modern Methodist Church of Southern Viejo. Tommorow, THE WORLD.)

Dana White, a.k.a the man who broke Mayhem’s heart and unknowingly caused all of this, has yet to comment on Miller’s arrest. Luckily, we’ve done it for him:

I tell you, this f*cking guy, with his f*cking f*ggy pink boas and boom boxes and dance moves and Japanese schoolgirls. He really needs a f*cking clue. It’s bad enough that he lost to f*cking Launchpad McQuack in his last performance, but now he goes out and pulls this sh*t. That’s all I gotta say, except f*ck you, f*ck Josh Gross, and f*ck Fedor. Dana out!

–J. Jones

Jason Miller Goes Full-On Bath Salts, Arrested in Orange County Church During Naked Tirade [UPDATED With Mugshot]

(Nice job, Jason, you’ve gone and gotten yourself fired again, you idiot. Calm down, just calm down…you’ve talked your way out of worse than this, you just gotta think. How to stay relevant, how to stay relevant…OK, it has to be something REALLY out there, you know, something that will totally live up to your zany personality and at the least get you another pilot on MTV…fucking Bisping and his fire extinguishers ruined everything for us…come on, we’ve got to FOCUS!!….Wait…fire extinguishers…….Mayhem, you cheeky bastard, you’ve done it again.)

Update: Miller’s booking photo is now at the bottom of this post, via TMZ. He looks pretty good, considering.

Well this is surprising.

Just days after urging Dana White to commit suicide, dubbing himself “A warrior for peace and ultimate fighter for justice” and bragging about how he was “happier than I have ever been,” it appears that TUF 14 coach and Bully Beatdown host Jason Miller has been arrested. Again. In a church in Mission Viejo. Naked.

Apparently Miller’s newfound “energy” is fueled by either bath salts or peyote and a touch of the crazy. In either case, we fail to see how this defines putting said energy into “the right things.” Here’s what went down according to TMZ:

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ, the O.C. Sheriff’s Office received a call early this morning from the Mission Hills Church in Mission Viejo about a possible burglary in progress.

When the deputies arrived, we’re told they found the first and second floors covered in white fire extinguisher spray. Cops say the place was also trashed — scattered CDs, books, and broken pictures.

When officers reached the second floor, we’re told they found Miller naked on some couch — totally awake and coherent. It’s unclear if Miller was under the influence.

A note to all you haters of Michael Bisping: “The Count” doesn’t always prank you, but when he does, it emotionally traumatizes you for life. And Mayhem just got Scott Tenorman’d.

Update: Miller’s booking photo is now at the bottom of this post, via TMZ. He looks pretty good, considering.

Well this is surprising.

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ, the O.C. Sheriff’s Office received a call early this morning from the Mission Hills Church in Mission Viejo about a possible burglary in progress.

When the deputies arrived, we’re told they found the first and second floors covered in white fire extinguisher spray. Cops say the place was also trashed — scattered CDs, books, and broken pictures.

When officers reached the second floor, we’re told they found Miller naked on some couch — totally awake and coherent. It’s unclear if Miller was under the influence.

A note to all you haters of Michael Bisping: “The Count” doesn’t always prank you, but when he does, it emotionally traumatizes you for life. And Mayhem just got Scott Tenorman’d.

As Dana White said in his post UFC 150 interview, Mayhem is clearly not in a good place right now, no matter how hard he tries to convince us that he is. Ever since he was fired from the UFC following a backstage freakout, which in turn followed a pair of dismal performances, Miller has likely been the target of an insult or two in person, as well as a few million over the Interwebs. And although I have absolutely no idea what it is like to fail, I would recommend that Mayhem spends a little time away from the computer if he wants to come out of this depressive state he is in alive. A public figure is always going to have his haters, but it appears that Mayhem is letting them get under his skin to disastrous effect. That, or he is just f*cking crazy.

Anyway, it’s not like he’ll have a say in the matter in the immediate future, as I’m pretty sure that most prisons don’t provide internet access in their holding cells. In fact, that was reason #534 that Floyd Mayweather needed an early release if I remember correctly.

But seriously, we all just hope Miller is able to come out of this embarrassing situation with a better mindset, although it’s hard to see how.

We will have more on this story as it develops.

–J. Jones

And Now He’s Arrested: Frank Trigg in Custody on Battery Charges

Let me get this straight: You come to me empty-handed, and you want my help?

Earlier this year, we passed along a rather disturbing story regarding former UFC fighter and HDNet commentator, Frank Trigg. For those of you who don’t remember: In October 2011, Trigg allegedly choked his wife unconscious in front of their children. TheDirty.com posted a graphic picture of his wife’s throat following the incident, and one affair with a twenty-three year old assistant producer later, Trigg was out of work with HDNet.

Today, ProMMANow.com is reporting that Trigg was arrested yesterday on charges of battery over the incident. He’s currently being held at the Clark County Detention Center in Las Vegas on a $15,000 bond, and will be appearing in court tomorrow.

I’m not a lawyer, and I realize you’re innocent until proven guilty, but I’m not liking Trigg’s odds of (ahem) beating this case.

Let me get this straight: You come to me empty-handed, and you want my help?

I’m not a lawyer, and I realize you’re innocent until proven guilty, but I’m not liking Trigg’s odds of (ahem) beating this case.

We’ll continue to keep you up-to-date on this story as more information becomes available. As for now, send “Twinkle Toes” your regards in the comment section. And don’t hold back.

@SethFalvo