Tag: Christiane Cyborg

Attention Bachelors: It’s Your Lucky Day; Cris Cyborg is On the Market Again


(See, Gabrielle was right. Dreams CAN come true.)

If you started to give up hope that you would ever stand a chance of marrying a female MMA fighter since Miesha Tate and Ronda Rousey are taken and Gina is probably banging busy doing press tours with the cast of Haywire, your Monday is about to get a whole lot better.

Cristiane Santos announced via UOL today that she and her husband Evangelista been living single since December and it sounds like the chances of a reconciliation are about as slim as the odds of testing positive for steroids from a tainted supplement.


(See, Gabrielle was right. Dreams CAN come true.)

If you started to give up hope that you would ever stand a chance of marrying a female MMA fighter since Miesha Tate and Ronda Rousey are taken and Gina is probably banging busy doing press tours with the cast of Haywire, your Monday is about to get a whole lot better.

Cristiane Santos announced via UOL today that she and her husband Evangelista been living single since December and it sounds like the chances of a reconciliation are about as slim as the odds of testing positive for steroids from a tainted supplement.

Here’s a somewhat confusing translation of her statement about the break-up:

After six years of dedication to the love and happiness of marriage, I would like to inform you that since the month of December 2011 Evangelista Cyborg and I are living our lives separately.

I would like to thank all friends for their words of love and support during this period.

As it may seem hard to never abandon their dreams or discredits in love!

A hug,

Cris

No word on who gets to keep the “Cyborg” name in the divorce, but unless Evangelista has been training stand-up hard four days a week for the past year, our money’s on Cris.

Does anyone else hope Blind Date steps in to find Cris a new mate?

Quote of the Day: Ronda Rousey – “I Think I Am the Most Dangerous Unarmed Woman on the Planet”

So Ronda Rousey was on some program called Attack of the Show the other night, and the first thing we gotta say is daaaaaaammmnnnn. We’ve been hearing blasphemous claims of Ronda being a 5 at best around here as of late, and it’s time to squash this beef. Anyone who claims this woman is below a 7 must either email us a photo of their current or previous girlfriend, or send one to our Twitter or Facebook page. Otherwise…LIFETIME BAN.

Now that we’ve moved past her body, perhaps we can discuss her mind, as it is beginning to look like the witty, boisterous apparition that once inhabited Chael Sonnen has chosen Ronda as its next victim. Rousey, despite never fighting at bantamweight, is currently listed as a 4-to-1 favorite over current champ Meisha Tate, and the hype might just be getting to her head. When asked on how dangerous she saw herself, Rousey responded:

I think I am the most dangerous unarmed woman on the planet. [Looks to audience] I could literally kill every single person in this room with my bare hands if I had them one at a time. I wouldn’t do that, but I’m just saying, I could do it. 

So Ronda Rousey was on some program called Attack of the Show the other night, and the first thing we gotta say is daaaaaaammmnnnn. We’ve been hearing blasphemous claims of Ronda being a 5 at best around here as of late, and it’s time to squash this beef. Anyone who claims this woman is a below a 7 must either email us a photo of their current or previous girlfriend, or send one to our Twitter or Facebook page. Otherwise…LIFETIME BAN.

Now that we’ve moved past her body, perhaps we can discuss her mind, as it is beginning to look like the witty, boisterous apparition that once inhabited Chael Sonnen has chosen Ronda as its next victim. Rousey, despite never fighting at bantamweight, is currently listed as a 4-to-1 favorite over current champ Meisha Tate, and the hype might just be getting to her head. When asked on how dangerous she saw herself, Rousey responded:

I think I am the most dangerous unarmed woman on the planet. [Looks to audience] I could literally kill every single person in this room with my bare hands if I had them one at a time. I wouldn’t do that, but I’m just saying, I could do it. 

Look, it’s not that we doubt Ms. Rousey’s claims or anything, because just look at the bones, but does anyone think Rousey may be slightly overlooking Tate here? The woman has played the role of spoiler before, and if Ronda just happens to have an off night come March 3rd (she likely won’t), all these claims are really going to blow up in her face. Yes, we understand that we just used the phrase “blow up in her face.” Get your minds out of the gutter, Potato Nation.

Ronda goes on to describe her Twitter war with Christiane Santos, and drops another zinger when describing the photo of Gina Carano that Cyborg tweeted earlier this month, stating “…it was a Photoshopped picture of Gina Carano after they fought, which I’m sure is not the first time Cyborg has used Photoshop.”

Our fascination with this woman has officially reached a threat level of Peter Gabriel. There is no higher level.

Also of note from the interview, apparently Rousey was once jumped by a group of guys in a movie theater, and beat them up so badly that they later sued her for assault. Only in America. She then goes on to hip toss the show’s host in a very, very tight dress……I’m sorry, what were we talking about?

Oh yes, we were warning sweet, sweet Ronda to use caution, for hubris has its costs. That said, I’ve got her by armbar at 1:20 of round one.

-Danga 

Ladies and Gentlemen (Specifically Ladies), Prepare Yourselves for Pink Fight MMA


(Sorry Cyborg, you can’t come.) 

Many of you are likely familiar with a Brazilian based promotion called Jungle Fight; through it we have witnessed Jose Aldo’s only professional loss, Machida vs. Bonnar, and the humble beginnings of such fighters as Paulo Thiago, Thales Leites, and Ronaldo Souza. Created and currently run by former fighter Wallid Ismail, Jungle Fight has grown to become a regular feature of ESPN Deportes, and will be looking to branch out into the world of women’s mixed martial arts when it debuts an all woman promotion, audaciously labeled Pink Fight MMA, on January 29th.

That’s right. Pink Fight MMA.

The card will feature six fights and is headlined by a 125 pound clash between 4-2 Shooto veteran Maria Elisabete “Beth” Tavares and 2-3-1 muay Thai striker Kalindra Carvalho Faria. The affair will transpire at the Descobrimento Cultural Event Center in Porto Seguro, Bahia, Brazil. Ismail released a statement on the promotion’s big debut, declaring that, “I’m sure that Pink Fight will reveal new talents and encourage other women to become professional fighters.” Truly a man of his word, Pink Fight’s official website has already begun accepting applications, so if you have a little sister in need of a disciplinary lesson that simply cannot be taught in the household, sign them up today.


(Sorry Cyborg, you can’t come.) 

Many of you are likely familiar with a Brazilian based promotion called Jungle Fight; through it we have witnessed Jose Aldo’s only professional loss, Machida vs. Bonnar, and the humble beginnings of such fighters as Paulo Thiago, Thales Leites, and Ronaldo Souza. Created and currently run by former fighter Wallid Ismail, Jungle Fight has grown to become a regular feature of ESPN Deportes, and will be looking to branch out into the world of women’s mixed martial arts when it debuts an all woman promotion, audaciously labeled Pink Fight MMA, on January 29th.

That’s right. Pink Fight MMA.

The card will feature six fights and is headlined by a 125 pound clash between 4-2 Shooto veteran Maria Elisabete “Beth” Tavares and 2-3-1 muay Thai striker Kalindra Carvalho Faria. The affair will transpire at the Descobrimento Cultural Event Center in Porto Seguro, Bahia, Brazil. Ismail released a statement on the promotion’s big debut, declaring that, “I’m sure that Pink Fight will reveal new talents and encourage other women to become professional fighters.” Truly a man of his word, Pink Fight’s official website has already begun accepting applications, so if you have a little sister in need of a disciplinary lesson that simply cannot be taught in the household, sign them up today.

The upstart promotion has already found its fair share of advocates, starting with long time MMA supporter and Brazilian Senator Magno Matla, who has publicly come out in favor of an all woman MMA league, stating the following:

Such a big nation with the potential to create champions deserved a female promotion. We have a lot of examples to follow, [like] world No. 1 Cris ‘Cyborg’ [Santos] and our president, who is also a woman. Brazil has a lot of female representatives who make us proud and now it’s time to create MMA idols, too.

While Her Excellency Dilma Rousseff is undoubtedly an inspiration for women worldwide, you might want to reserve judgement on Cyborg, Mr. Malta. Don’t get us wrong, the woman is being made an example of, but that’s not exactly the same thing.

What say you, Potato Nation? Is Pink Fight destined to become the Mecca of women’s MMA, or will it fall face down in the mud, nay, the YAMMA pit? Let’s hope it’s the former.

-Danga 

Video of the Day: Ronda Rousey Trains Like A Boss

If you’re anything like us, then your obsession with the gorgeous and deadly Ronda Rousey has grown greater with each passing day. You’ve likely written no less than twenty Shakespearean sonnets declaring your love for the woman, and though you won’t admit it, in the back of your mind you know that this obsession is destined to end with a restraining order and a harai goshi to boot.

The video, taken from one of Ms. Rousey’s recent training sessions, demonstrates a couple of the “impact conditioning” exercises the Olympic Judoka goes through on a daily basis. Now that she’s been rallying for a match against Strikeforce women’s featherweight champion Christiane “Cyborg” Santos, we imagine the purpose of this drill is to prevent our girl from immediately BM’ing after eating one of the champ’s ruthless body shots. Good luck, Ronda, because being in the same room as Cyborg is enough to make us try out our best Tim Sylvia impression. <— WE WILL NEVER STOP MAKING THIS JOKE.

If you’re anything like us, then your obsession with the gorgeous and deadly Ronda Rousey has grown greater with each passing day. You’ve likely written no less than twenty Shakespearean sonnets declaring your love for the woman, and though you won’t admit it, in the back of your mind you know that this obsession is destined to end with a restraining order and a harai goshi to boot.

The video, taken from one of Ms. Rousey’s recent training sessions, demonstrates a couple of the “impact conditioning” exercises the Olympic Judoka goes through on a daily basis. Now that she’s been rallying for a match against Strikeforce women’s featherweight champion Christiane “Cyborg” Santos, we imagine the purpose of this drill is to prevent our girl from immediately BM’ing after eating one of the champ’s ruthless body shots. Good luck, Ronda, because being in the same room as Cyborg is enough to make us try out our best Tim Sylvia impression. <— WE WILL NEVER STOP MAKING THIS JOKE.

By the way, you remember that video we posted of Ronda practicing a little judo with Karo Parisyan, right? Well, check out this blurb from a recent interview with Karo, in which he hands her one of the most confusing compliments we’ve ever read:

Ronda is a kid that trained with us for many years at Team Hayastan. The reason why Ronda is so good, is because Ronda was a cute little girl – she’s not little no more – but she was a cute little girl that trained with guys like us. She wasn’t training with other girls. Other girls she would beat up, so she would train with us. She would cry. I would yell at her, ‘Suck your lip up! I don’t want you crying!’ She would suck her lip up and continue on. She would cry so much during practice because we would push her. That’s why she became an animal in the cage and on the mat… She’s a strong girl. She’s really strong mentally.

Smooth, Karo. The ladies must melt in your hands like butter.

-Danga