(The Greatest and The Realest, seen here discussing Russian trade policies and how to properly roll a blunt. via Martin Sano Jr.)
Can I level with you for a second, Nation? I’ve spent the last two days combatting a sickness something awful — chest congestion, stomach bug, milk leg, hot tub foot, scrotal migraines…the whole nine. It’s just been an absolute bacchanal of contamination and infection going on inside my body, the root of which I highly speculate to be the cobra whiskey I bought off a street urchin in (Boston) Chinatown earlier in the week.
But having awoken today with the internal storm mostly behind me, I feel like switching things up and passing along the positive vibes to you, the readers, with a good old fashioned caption contest. Lucky for me, this photo of Fedor Emelianenko and Nick Diaz made its way onto r/mma this morning, giving me/you the perfect opportunity to cash in on my newfound generosity.
You know the deal by now. Come up with your best captions for this photo — either in the comments section below, or on our Facebook page if said comments section isn’t working (which, let’s be honest, it probably isn’t). If you’re funny enough, you’ll win a random DVD from my extensive video library. Will it be an event DVD, like UFC 91 or 111? An unapologetically terrible movie starring an MMA fighter, like In the Blood or Scorpion King XVIII? Or maybe just highlights from my family trip to Myrtle Beach? BRING THE FUNNY AND FIND OUT!
(The Greatest and The Realest, seen here discussing Russian trade policies and how to properly roll a blunt. via Martin Sano Jr.)
Can I level with you for a second, Nation? I’ve spent the last two days combatting a sickness something awful — chest congestion, stomach bug, milk leg, hot tub foot, scrotal migraines…the whole nine. It’s just been an absolute bacchanal of contamination and infection going on inside my body, the root of which I highly speculate to be the cobra whiskey I bought off a street urchin in (Boston) Chinatown earlier in the week.
But having awoken today with the internal storm mostly behind me, I feel like switching things up and passing along the positive vibes to you, the readers, with a good old fashioned caption contest. Lucky for me, this photo of Fedor Emelianenko and Nick Diaz made its way onto r/mma this morning, giving me/you the perfect opportunity to cash in on my newfound generosity.
You know the deal by now. Come up with your best captions for this photo — either in the comments section below, or on our Facebook page if said comments section isn’t working (which, let’s be honest, it probably isn’t). If you’re funny enough, you’ll win a random DVD from my extensive video library. Will it be an event DVD, like UFC 91 or 111? An unapologetically terrible movie starring an MMA fighter, like In the Blood or Scorpion King XVIII? Or maybe just highlights from my family trip to Myrtle Beach? BRING THE FUNNY AND FIND OUT!
(Dennis Hallman — Catfishing. Photo via Esther Lin/MMAFighting.)
Last week’s “UFC Fighters and the Fictional Crimes They’ve Committed” contest, if nothing else, proved that MMA-themed comedy is not as easy as it sounds. If you don’t believe me, just ask that MMA Roasted guy (*mimes shotgun blast*). There were some mildly amusing entries among your overplayed and plain confusing attempts at humor, however, so let’s get to the honorable mentions…
Rick Gemi: Rashad Evans – Brandishing a stanky leg without a license
Brad Fowler: Ben Henderson — receiving stolen property (decisions)
Jay Smith: Brock Lesnar — Impersonating a UFC fighter
Travis Anderson: Tim Sylvia — Public Defecation
Just so you guys are aware, dropping a Tim Sylvia poop joke will earn you an honorable mention at the minimum in all future contests, as per the CagePotato mandate.
And now, the winners…
(Dennis Hallman — Catfishing. Photo via Esther Lin/MMAFighting.)
Last week’s “UFC Fighters and the Fictional Crimes They’ve Committed” contest, if nothing else, proved that MMA-themed comedy is not as easy as it sounds. If you don’t believe me, just ask that MMA Roasted guy (*mimes shotgun blast*). There were some mildly amusing entries among your overplayed and plain confusing attempts at humor, however, so let’s get to the honorable mentions…
Rick Gemi: Rashad Evans – Brandishing a stanky leg without a license
Brad Fowler: Ben Henderson — receiving stolen property (decisions)
Jay Smith: Brock Lesnar — Impersonating a UFC fighter
Travis Anderson: Tim Sylvia — Public Defecation
Just so you guys are aware, dropping a Tim Sylvia poop joke will earn you an honorable mention at the minimum in all future contests, as per the CagePotato mandate.
And now, the winners…
Scott Johnson: Bjorn Rebney – D.U.I (Dickriding Under the Influence)
Chris Morse: Dennis Hallman – Illegally Smuggling Grapes into the Octagon
So yeah, our two funniest entries were dick and ball jokes. Way to play right into Bob Arum’s understanding of our sport, guys!
To our winners, please email [email protected]with your address and shirt size, and we’ll get your CP swag in the mail A.S.A.P. Or maybe never. Either way, you are powerless to decide, MWAHAHAHAAAA!!!!
The votes are in—11 million of them in fact—and Alexander Gustafsson will join light heavyweight champion Jon Jones on the cover of the EA UFC video game. The UFC and Electronic Arts joined together with Metro PCS to unveil the UFC Cover Vote contest, which allowed fans to choose who would be featured alongside the […]
The votes are in—11 million of them in fact—and Alexander Gustafsson will join light heavyweight champion Jon Jones on the cover of the EA UFC video game. The UFC and Electronic Arts joined together with Metro PCS to unveil the UFC Cover Vote contest, which allowed fans to choose who would be featured alongside the […]
If there’s anything we’ve learned about UFC welterweight contender Rory “Mini Rush” MacDonald over the past few years it’s that he loves to fight and he loves to shop. And now thanks to his sponsor, Ecko, you can join him for a little of both!
Cool, right? Well, yeah, but also…kinda strange. We guess it really depends on what you bring to the table.
Because if you, your buddy that you get to bring and Rory, like, totally click, you’ll be sure to have fun during this day of “private” training and shopping with “Ares.” Hell, you guys will probably all stay in touch afterwards and tell inside jokes over Skype once a week while eating popcorn. On the off chance that doesn’t happen, however, it might get a lil’ awkward for some non-athlete to have a private training session with a world class fighter and then, because this is totally something that lots of strangers do together, go clothes shopping together at an Ecko store.
If there’s anything we’ve learned about UFC welterweight contender Rory “Mini Rush” MacDonald over the past few years it’s that he loves to fight and he loves to shop. And now thanks to his sponsor, Ecko, you can join him for a little of both!
Cool, right? Well, yeah, but also…kinda strange. We guess it really depends on what you bring to the table.
Because if you, your buddy that you get to bring and Rory, like, totally click, you’ll be sure to have fun during this day of “private” training and shopping with “Ares.” Hell, you guys will probably all stay in touch afterwards and tell inside jokes over Skype once a week while eating popcorn. On the off chance that doesn’t happen, however, it might get a lil’ awkward for some non-athlete to have a private training session with a world class fighter and then, because this is totally something that lots of strangers do together, go clothes shopping together at an Ecko store.
Seeing the inside of TriStar gym would be dope, no doubt, as would meeting MacDonald. But the poster for the sweepstakes almost seems to be designed to emphasize how self-consciously weird this day could turn out to be. And a max out of $250? Come on, Ecko. What’s that going to cover, a winter coat and half a t-shirt? Certainly not a neon orange tux, that’s for sure.
It’s not like we’d complain about a free flight to beautiful Montreal, free training and “meal,” it just seems like this could all quickly devolve into an awkward conversation that is forcibly extended over an entire day.
Sarah Kaufman is holding a ticket contest for her bout this Saturday night in San Diego. Kaufman, the former bantamweight champion, is challenging current champ Ronda Rousey for the title. Kaufman encouraged her fans to submit videos with their best im…
Sarah Kaufman is holding a ticket contest for her bout this Saturday night in San Diego. Kaufman, the former bantamweight champion, is challenging current champ Ronda Rousey for the title. Kaufman encouraged her fans to submit videos with their best impersonation of Rousey, with the winner being awarded two tickets to the event. Well, Rousey […]
(Just don’t expect a chance to offer him advice in between rounds.)
As you surely know by this point, Potato Nation, we are not the biggest fans of Bob Sapp. The man known as “The Beast” manages to somehow set the bar lower each time he steps into the ring, to the point that, if you don’t offer him a way out of the fight, he will simply collapse like he was hit with a stray bullet and roll around on the ground until the referee steps in. In fact, it’s safe to say that when all is said and done, Bob Sapp will probably go down as the worst fighter in the sport’s history (though from a technical standpoint, he is still leagues beyond Robert Burneika). And apparently we aren’t the only ones who share this sentiment.
But let today, May 2nd, 2012, forever be known as the day that Sapp redeemed at least part of his sham of a career, if not all of it. Fed up with all the “keyboard warrior” criticisms he has received in the past…ten years (many of which find their way to his Wikipedia page), Sapp is giving all you haters the chance to nut up or shut up. After Bob takes on Mariusz Pudzianowski at KSW 19 on May 12th, he will square off against UFC veteran Soa Palelei at CFC 21 in Australia just six days later. To help promote the event, Sapp is not only giving one lucky “fan” a chance to corner him for the fight, but he will also give said fan $300, a round trip ticket to Australia, hotel accommodations, and VIP access to the event.
And what do you have to enter this contest, you ask? The answer is simple: Create a video demonstrating your admiration or hatred of Bob Sapp and why you’d like to be in his corner, and post it on your Youtube account. We know, right? This contest is practically designed for you angst-ridden SOB’s.
Check out the video, along with the full contest details, after the jump.
(Just don’t expect a chance to offer him advice in between rounds.)
As you surely know by this point, Potato Nation, we are not the biggest fans of Bob Sapp. The man known as “The Beast” manages to somehow set the bar lower each time he steps into the ring, to the point that, if you don’t offer him a way out of the fight, he will simply collapse like he was hit with a stray bullet and roll around on the ground until the referee steps in. In fact, it’s safe to say that when all is said and done, Bob Sapp will probably go down as the worst fighter in the sport’s history (though from a technical standpoint, he is still leagues beyond Robert Burneika). And apparently we aren’t the only ones who share this sentiment.
But let today, May 2nd, 2012, forever be known as the day that Sapp redeemed at least part of his sham of a career, if not all of it. Fed up with all the “keyboard warrior” criticisms he has received in the past…ten years (many of which find their way to his Wikipedia page), Sapp is giving all you haters the chance to nut up or shut up. After Bob takes on Mariusz Pudzianowski at KSW 19 on May 12th, he will square off against UFC veteran Soa Palelei at CFC 21 in Australia just six days later. To help promote the event, Sapp is not only giving one lucky “fan” a chance to corner him for the fight, but he will also give said fan $300, a round trip ticket to Australia, hotel accommodations, and VIP access to the event.
And what do you have to enter this contest, you ask? The answer is simple: Create a video demonstrating your admiration or hatred of Bob Sapp and why you’d like to be in his corner, and post it on your Youtube account. We know, right? This contest is practically designed for you angst-ridden SOB’s.
We’ll give Sapp this; the man has no shame. Or shirts. These are two areas in which we are alike. But unlike us, Sapp actually chooses to address his haters, and deserves at least a little bit of respect for doing so. We know, we never thought we’d actually write the words “Bob Sapp” and “respect” in the same sentence either. Anyway, the contest rules are as follows:
1. Create a 30 second video bashing Sapp’s pathetic, meaningless existence on this planet and why you could be the cornerman to turn it all around.
2. Post your video on your Youtube channel and place it in the reply section of the above video. The video must contain the address “Youtube.com/BobSappTV” at some point.
3. Title your video “BobSappTV Video Contest.”
4. NO PROFANITY
You must be over the age of 21 and have a valid passport to enter. The winner will be chosen on May 13th.
Now, we know some of you possess the ability to be funny from time to time. The same goes twice over for your ability to insult, and we wouldn’t have it any other way. Given a muse as great as Sapp, we imagine you could cause some serious emotional damage in a 30 second time frame. We’re talking “send the last fragile remnants of Sapp’s intestinal fortitude crashing to the ground in a hail of metaphorical gunfire” kind of damage. You owe it to yourself, and to the MMA community for that matter, to enter this contest. And if the chance to watch Bob Sapp get viciously KO’d (or hilariously flop) in person isn’t enough to spur your interest, then we’ll give a t-shirt to the best entry sent to [email protected]. Sound good? Then dust off your Panasonic AG-450 S-VHS Reporter camcorders and put your time-tested trash-talking skills to the test!
