Ask the Potato: Injuries, TRT and Crossover Athletes


You know, Potato Nation, Coleman just really likes potatoes. I mean, I know that’s not profound or nothin’. Heck! We all do…but for him, it goes much more beyond that.

So how many of you all came here last weekend only to be disappointed by the lack of answers to your seemingly endless questions? Maybe we’re getting too far ahead of ourselves, so let’s start over: How many of you noticed that we didn’t run a new edition of Ask the Potato last week? We just saw at least three hands go up, so we’re going to assume that the rest of you are just too shy to respond. We’re keeping it short and sweet and to the point this week, much unlike this sentence, so let’s get down to business.

KarmaAteMyCat asks: What’s the most vicious injury you have ever seen in MMA to date?


You know, Potato Nation, Coleman just really likes potatoes. I mean, I know that’s not profound or nothin’. Heck! We all do…but for him, it goes much more beyond that.

So how many of you all came here last weekend only to be disappointed by the lack of answers to your seemingly endless questions? Maybe we’re getting too far ahead of ourselves, so let’s start over: How many of you noticed that we didn’t run a new edition of Ask the Potato last week? We just saw at least three hands go up, so we’re going to assume that the rest of you are just too shy to respond. We’re keeping it short and sweet and to the point this week, much unlike this sentence, so let’s get down to business.

KarmaAteMyCat asks: What’s the most vicious injury you have ever seen in MMA to date?

Injuries are pretty common in this sport, particularly if you’re a champion. From swollen heads to flayed feet, we’d like to think we’ve seen it all over the years. But of all the limbs to snap inside the cage, our nominee has a clear leg up on the competition. Just seconds into the second round of their UFC: Fight for the Troops bout, Dale Hartt checked a leg kick from Corey Hill, instantly transforming his tibia and fibula into giant sticks of Laffy Taffy. Unlike Joe Theismann’s famous injury, there was no sock or pant leg to shield viewers from the sight of his twisted, mangled leg. Another key difference: Hill returned to competition only one year later; in fact, he just racked up a win last week. Think there’s a more deserving injury? We’re all ear!

Giblets asks: TRT – Really a medical issue or a loop hole for gear monkeys?

We’re hack journalists, Giblets, not doctors. But that doesn’t stop us from performing breast exams or doling out pills behind the neighborhood 7-Eleven, and it sure as hell isn’t going to stop us from answering your question.

Testosterone is a hormone responsible for increasing bone and muscle mass as well as stimulating aggressive behavior. Now where is the last place you would expect to find a large number of men suffering from a serious testosterone deficiency? If you said “inside the Octagon”, you’re wrong. The answer is Lilith Fair–low testosterone or not, no man wants to listen to that garbage. But competing in an MMA fight is a close second, so don’t feel bad about your answer. We’re hardly authorities on the matter, so check out what the very knowledgeable Dr. Johnny Benjamin has to say on the issue. And when even Nate Marquardt’s coach thinks the therapy has no place in the sport, you’ve got to know that something’s up.

RwilsonR asks: If any athlete from any other sport, from any generation, could cross over succesfully to MMA, who would it be and why? Is it this man?

Bo Jackson was certainly one hell of an athlete in his prime. As was Herschel Walker who, in case you forgot, has had success in this sport. Really, there are plenty of exceptional athletes who may have been MMA fighters today if the sport had been around when they were first getting into sports (and even at least one college football coach).

But we’re going to take the easy route and pick someone who actually competed in combat sports before MMA was around. Given the trend of dominant wrestlers finding success in MMA, we imagine that any of your great wrestlers from yesteryear would have had successful MMA careers if the sport was around while they were in their prime. Specifically, we’ll go with Sports Illustrated’s pick for the greatest athlete to ever hail from Iowa, Dan Gable.

Dan Gable was an absolute wrecking ball in his prime, having lost only one match in his entire collegiate career (his last match, against Washington’s Larry Owings). Of course, that was just his opening act: He would go on to win a gold medal at the 1972 Olympic Games while not giving up a single point. So yeah, we imagine he would have wrestlefucked his way to a hell of a career in MMA, if it was an option for him.

One final thing worth mentioning: After retiring from competition in 1975, Dan Gable decided he wasn’t done dominating college wrestling, so he became the head coach at the University of Iowa. During his tenure from 1976–1997, Iowa won 15 NCAA team titles, including a record nine straight titles from 1978 to 1986 and 21 straight Big Ten titles. Had MMA been around, we imagine that he’d start a gym that would rival any of the top gyms today.

That’s all for now, folks. Tune in next week as we answer even more of your (hopefully at least kind of) MMA related questions. You know the drill: You can send us questions through our Facebook page. You can tweet them to our Twitter account, as well as hashtag questions with #AskThePotato. You can register for our forums and post your questions there. Or you can just post them in the comments section of this article. And we still check that Google+ page we set up. Not that we want questions from that thing, we just feel like bragging.

Fireworks and Fighters: A 4th of July Comparison Guide

By Jason Moles

We the people of CagePotato.com, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Bans, insure comments section Tranquility, provide for the common noob, promote the general Lack of Welfare, and attempt to secure the Blessings of Dana to ourselves and our readers, do ordain and establish this Comparison of fighters and fireworks for the Potato Nation.

There are plenty of MMA fighters out there who love to bring the pyrotechnics to the cage, lighting up their opponents for the enjoyment of the fans and the pleasure of a paycheck. In honor of Independence Day weekend — and our new friends at Wild Turkey — here’s a list of actual 4th of July fireworks that remind us of some well-known scrappers. Celebrate safely, and please try not to lose any fingers.

Snap-n-Pops (aka bang snaps, snappers, or whip’n pops): Corey Hill, Jason MacDonald, Razak Al-Hassan, Tim Sylvia

Call ’em what you want, these small novelty fireworks are perfect for youngsters. You throw them against a wall, floor, or sleeping grandparent, and they make a satisfying POP! Cool, huh? It’s hard not to think of a ‘Snap-n-Pop’ and not think of these guys, whose limbs unfortunately made the same noises in their past fights.

Roman Candles: Clay Guida

Excitement. Power. Flash. Seemingly unending performance. Fun. Clay ‘The Carpenter’ Guida is more than your average firework. Hey may not blow up any doors but rest assured he’s always going to be a crowd favorite. No one has ever had a Roman Candle war or watched a Guida fight and not had the time of their life. For every colorful ball that is emitted from the candle, Guida whips his hair back and shoots in for a takedown. Regardless of what happens, they both just keep going until the final bell. When messing around with either, be careful; someone usually ends up a bloody mess.

By Jason Moles

We the people of CagePotato.com, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Bans, insure comments section Tranquility, provide for the common noob, promote the general Lack of Welfare, and attempt to secure the Blessings of Dana to ourselves and our readers, do ordain and establish this Comparison of fighters and fireworks for the Potato Nation.

There are plenty of MMA fighters out there who love to bring the pyrotechnics to the cage, lighting up their opponents for the enjoyment of the fans and the pleasure of a paycheck. In honor of Independence Day weekend — and our new friends at Wild Turkey — here’s a list of actual 4th of July fireworks that remind us of some well-known scrappers. Celebrate safely, and please try not to lose any fingers.

Snap-n-Pops (aka bang snaps, snappers, or whip’n pops): Corey Hill, Jason MacDonald, Razak Al-Hassan, Tim Sylvia

Call ‘em what you want, these small novelty fireworks are perfect for youngsters. You throw them against a wall, floor, or sleeping grandparent, and they make a satisfying POP! Cool, huh? It’s hard not to think of a ‘Snap-n-Pop’ and not think of these guys, whose limbs unfortunately made the same noises in their past fights.

Roman Candles: Clay Guida

Excitement. Power. Flash. Seemingly unending performance. Fun. Clay ‘The Carpenter’ Guida is more than your average firework. Hey may not blow up any doors but rest assured he’s always going to be a crowd favorite. No one has ever had a Roman Candle war or watched a Guida fight and not had the time of their life. For every colorful ball that is emitted from the candle, Guida whips his hair back and shoots in for a takedown. Regardless of what happens, they both just keep going until the final bell. When messing around with either, be careful; someone usually ends up a bloody mess.

Snakes: Jon Fitch

Much like those awful expanding snakes, Jon Fitch‘s fights are predictably dull, and when it’s all over you’re left feeling like you just wasted your money. They stay on the ground and do not emit sparks, flares, any form of projectiles, or any sound, but may induce sleeping. That should sound familiar to anybody who has endured the cruel and unusual punishment of a fifteen-minute, semi-clothed preview of War Machine’s next film, also known as a Jon Fitch decision victory.


Does that say Brown Pride?

Tanks: Cain Velasquez

The UFC Heavyweight champion has much in common with the super elite tank fireworks. For instance, both are short, stocky, and pack a mean punch. Both prefer to end their wars decisively with a brutal finish. Moreover, neither is going to be steamrolled anytime soon. For the fans, there’s just nothing like seeing a complete beast like Brock Lesnar getting manhandled by the sturdy, stoic Velasquez.

Bottle Rockets: Shane Carwin

I’ll spare you from the incredibly lazy innuendo and instead offer up this little nugget; Shane Carwin’s best stuff lasts about as long as it takes for a bottle rocket to scream through the BBQ smoke, reach its apex, explode, and fall to the ground. Carwin always delivers in the first round but don’t expect much beyond that. Although the action is short-lived, the excitement and hype leading up to launch time is furious because we know something potentially incredible is going to happen.

Firecrackers: Jose Aldo

The Brazilian champion has shredded his opponents by going undefeated for nearly six years, leaving most of his opponents second-guessing why they even took the fight in the first place. Weighing only 145 lbs., this tiny explosive does severe damage to his opponents legs with his expertly placed kicks (*BANG BANG BANG*!) and jacks your face up with his crisp striking (*BANG BANG BANG*!). Just like the Black Cats pictured above, don’t let the size fool ya…one mistake can cost you dearly.

Sparklers: “Filthy” Tom Lawlor

I believe the phrase is “All Sizzle, No Steak.” Sure, his weigh-ins and entrances are flashy and entertaining, but the overall performances leave a little to be desired — kind of like the gas station sparklers your dad brought home when you were a kid. Still, it’s hard not to feel patriotic when watching them.

Catherine Wheel: Chael Sonnen

Legend has it that the firework got its name from an instrument of torture, the breaking wheel, on which St. Catherine was martyred. I’m not sure who that broad was or what that has to do with Chael Sonnen but I do know this: both are really, really good at going in circles, both literally and figuratively. Mr. Sonnen, as his PO calls him, and Ms. Wheel have that X factor that mesmerizes audiences leaving them wanting more. Despite their obvious limitations and shady past, you’d give your last dollar to see them one last time if the opportunity presented itself.

Smoke Bombs: Ben Askren

Ahh, the smoke bomb. You fail to do any actual harm, instead you’d much rather annoy the hell out of everyone in reach. Such a colorful little brat, full of spunk and enough sulfuric smoke to gag a dolphin. Similarly, Askren’s wrestling prowess envelops his hapless opponents causing them to retort to their high school wrestling knowledge — which by the way is weak sauce. Once you’ve been attacked by one of these bad boys you might as well give up any hope of impressing the ladies. C’mon, I mean look at the army dude above me. He just lost 10 bro points for being in the same picture as a purple haze. (That still beats getting dry humped for fifteen minutes by a white dude with a ‘fro though.)

Fountains: Diego ” The Vision” Sanchez

The Class 1.4G explosive is highly reminiscent of the very first Ultimate Fighter winner. I’m not suggesting that all Diego Sanchez is capable of is shouting as he cartwheels into the distance — that’s just one similarity among others. Of all the pyrotechnics one could legally obtain without being licensed by the ATF, fountains display the most heart. From the initial ear-piercing scream to the crackling sparks to the changing colors and shooting flares, they leave it all out there. Like Sanchez, they do everything they physically can to put on an unforgettable performance and make you get up out of your seat and cheer. Damn, they’d fly if only they had wings. The Vision may be mentioned in the same breath as the firework displays in Montreal, San Jose, or Honolulu but until then, we’ll gladly accept the fountain that is Sanchez and enjoy every breathtaking moment.

And the Mismatch of the Month Award Goes to….

("That pic looks so fake. What? It’s real?" *barfs*)
Say what you want about Corey Hill, but you can’t say he’s afraid of a challenge.
If you recall, he’s the guy who lied on his TUF 5 application, stating that he had a 4-0 professional MMA r…


("That pic looks so fake. What? It’s real?" *barfs*)

Say what you want about Corey Hill, but you can’t say he’s afraid of a challenge.

If you recall, he’s the guy who lied on his TUF 5 application, stating that he had a 4-0 professional MMA record, when he actually only had one pro and two amateur bouts under his belt.

He’s also the guy whose leg looked like it had been Photoshopped in real time to look like Plastic Man’s as it snapped like a matchstick when his low kick was checked by Dale Hartt at UFC: Fight for the Troops back in December of 2008.

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Tachi Palace Fights Awaiting Approval for McCullough vs. Hill Co-Main Event

Filed under: Fighting, FanHouse ExclusiveFormer WEC lightweight champion “Razor” Rob McCullough and UFC fighter Corey Hill have agreed to fight in the co-main event of Tachi Palace Fights’ upcoming sixth event on Sept. 9 in Lemoore, Calif., event coord…

Filed under: ,

Former WEC lightweight champion “Razor” Rob McCullough and UFC fighter Corey Hill have agreed to fight in the co-main event of Tachi Palace Fights’ upcoming sixth event on Sept. 9 in Lemoore, Calif., event coordinator Jeremy Luchau confirmed with MMA Fighting.

However, while the California State Athletic Commission initially refused to sanction the fight due to the fact that McCullough has competed in 24 pro MMA fights, while Hill has only competed in 7, Luchau said that he has filed an explanation as to why the fight should be sanctioned, and was confident that the CSAC would eventually sign off on it.

“They wanted me to give an explanation why Corey Hill would be a good opponent for ‘Razor,’ so I had to send a letter explaining that Corey Hill had fought in the UFC,” Luchau said.