Liddell loves Jones’ overall game, but is not at all impressed with his punching power. He thinks if the two would have fought in his prime, he would have knocked Jones out.
“I think I would have been a horrible matchup for him,” Liddell told FOX Sports. “I would have walked through his punches and he wouldn’t have caught me with anything…I would have found a way to hit him,” Liddell said, “and I hit too hard.”
The “walked through his punches” part is my favorite; it’s just so Leben-esque. There’s a lot more I can say here, but our own Matt Saccarobeat me to it:
Those are the only correct responses. If you believe otherwise, you’re stuck in a fanboy time-warp. And Chuck? Please don’t turn into Royce Gracie. We’re begging you.
Liddell loves Jones’ overall game, but is not at all impressed with his punching power. He thinks if the two would have fought in his prime, he would have knocked Jones out.
“I think I would have been a horrible matchup for him,” Liddell told FOX Sports. “I would have walked through his punches and he wouldn’t have caught me with anything…I would have found a way to hit him,” Liddell said, “and I hit too hard.”
The “walked through his punches” part is my favorite; it’s just so Leben-esque. There’s a lot more I can say here, but our own Matt Saccarobeat me to it:
Those are the only correct responses. If you believe otherwise, you’re stuck in a fanboy time-warp. And Chuck? Please don’t turn into Royce Gracie. We’re begging you.
“Chael’s a nice guy. I’ve met him and hung out with him. I like him, and he’s a nice guy. I can’t stand the way he promotes fights.
“I understand what he’s doing; he wasn’t the most exciting fighter, so he made himself exciting by promoting the fight really well, and he got himself a couple of title shots for it. It works, but that whole crazy WWE-type stuff, that over-the-top stuff when you’re fighting a guy, doesn’t make sense to me, and I don’t like it.
“But it is what it is. Some of the fans like it, and it gets people to watch fights, that’s fine.”
This is what happens when you’re replaced by Ronda Rousey in the heart of Dana White — you get grumpy. I actually agree with Chuck in theory, but look, the majority of MMA fans are just frustrated pro wrestling marks who are all angrily suppressing their love for fake heat, dramatic storylines, and steel-chair run-ins. We know this, and that’s why Chael Sonnen can literally talk his way into stardom. Chael’s TUF Brazil beef with Wanderlei? Friggin’ gold.
Meanwhile, Chuck Liddell is just some guy who used to punch people so hard that they fell over, and didn’t say much during press conferences. If MMA fans were interested in that in the year 2014, Glover Teixeira would be a huge star. But he’s not. And that’s why we’re talking about Chuck Liddell right now, instead of the guy who’s actually fighting this Saturday. See how that works?
Not taking anything away from Assuerio, he’s a tough dude, obviously. I hit him a couple of times and couldn’t finish him. I was really sick for the fight. I got really sick Saturday and had problems holding my innards. When I was warming up, I had a few problems, and I actually had a few problems in the ring when I was fighting.
I don’t know what it was. It got really cold when we were outside working out and stuff, going back and forth from the room. I caught something, and I just couldn’t hold in my number twos… If you look at the fight you’ll see that when my shorts came down, you’ll see the wet mark in my underwear.
That’s former UFC heavyweight champion Tim Sylvia, discussing the infamous night in which he shat himself during his main event bout with Assuerio Silva at Fight Night 3 on January 16, 2006 — eight years ago today. It was an incident that has become the subject of a joke or two over the years here at CagePotato, and one that has also become all the more relevant in light of last night’s Fight Night 35, wherein Yoel Romero allegedly suffered a similar intestinal malfunction during his fight with Derek Brunson (although Romero will tell you that the much-speculated stain on his shorts was the result of water and sweat). 30rockeyeroll.gif
Of course, Fatty Boom-Boom wasn’t the first fighter to suffer a case of the squirts (no, not that kind) in an MMA fight. Hell, he wasn’t even the first to admit to committing the act in the UFC. That honor goes to…
Not taking anything away from Assuerio, he’s a tough dude, obviously. I hit him a couple of times and couldn’t finish him. I was really sick for the fight. I got really sick Saturday and had problems holding my innards. When I was warming up, I had a few problems, and I actually had a few problems in the ring when I was fighting.
I don’t know what it was. It got really cold when we were outside working out and stuff, going back and forth from the room. I caught something, and I just couldn’t hold in my number twos… If you look at the fight you’ll see that when my shorts came down, you’ll see the wet mark in my underwear.
That’s former UFC heavyweight champion Tim Sylvia, discussing the infamous night in which he shat himself during his main event bout with Assuerio Silva at Fight Night 3 on January 16, 2006 — eight years ago today. It was an incident that has become the subject of a joke or two over the years here at CagePotato, and one that has also become all the more relevant in light of last night’s Fight Night 35, wherein Yoel Romero allegedly suffered a similar intestinal malfunction during his fight with Derek Brunson (although Romero will tell you that the much-speculated stain on his shorts was the result of water and sweat). 30rockeyeroll.gif
Of course, Fatty Boom-Boom wasn’t the first fighter to suffer a case of the squirts (no, not that kind) in an MMA fight. Hell, he wasn’t even the first to admit to committing the act in the UFC. That honor goes to Kevin Randleman, who admitted to having violent bouts of diarrhea prior to his UFC 35 bout with Renato “Babalu” Sobral. In his first and only professional fight, Kyle Wethey was kneed so hard by opponent David Mitchell that he similarly lost control of his bowels, resulting in what I can only assume is the most hilarious and disgusting DQ loss of all time. Did I mention that Wethey hasn’t fought since? Because he hasn’t fought since.
But what set Sylvia’s poop apart from the rest of the poops committed in the octagon was one simple fact: Sylvia’s poop was caught on national television, making it the first (confirmed) cable TV poop in MMA history, as Fightlinker pointed out. This was the poop heard (seen) around the world, and was arguably the most memorable moment of Sylvia’s reign. His title defenses against Jeff Monson and Andrei Arlovski? Completely forgettable exercises in tedium. That time he shit himself in front of millions of people? LEGENDARY.
So it is to you, Timmeh, “The Manie-Iac,” Fatty Boom-Boom, Race Relations Consultant of caucasians worldwide, that we raise our glasses of prune juice to and give toast. For without your brave venture into the unknown, we would never have been given a glimpse into the dark, rancid underbelly of the sport. Hip hip, hooray!
I’m not sure if this is good news or bad news, but Anderson Silva has no plans to retire following his sickening leg break at UFC 168, and the former middleweight champ is looking for a third fight against Chris Weidman as soon as he recovers. In fact, Silva is already trying to build heat for a re-rematch, crapping all over Weidman’s latest win in a new interview with Globo. As MMAFighting’s Guilherme Cruz translates:
“I believe that, if you pay attention to these technical details, you will see that (Weidman checking the kick) was instinct, not something that he trained to do,” Silva said. “No, I don’t think (Weidman should consider it a win). It was an accident. And I’m pretty sure I would have won the fight…
“To land the perfect kick, I needed to distract him by punching him in the face so he wouldn’t pay attention to the kick. He was protecting the upper part of his body, and the raised leg instinctively. The kick was so strong he lost balance…I saw my mistake, and now I’m only worried about my comeback. If the UFC thinks I deserve another opportunity (against Weidman) or if I need to earn it. I just want to do what I do, it doesn’t matter if it’s for the title or not. I want to do what I do well.”
Yes, Anderson, he raised his leg instinctively — almost as if he’d been drilling the defensive technique for months and was doing it on muscle-memory alone. Since the fight, Weidman has repeatedly stated that checking leg-kicks was a specific part of his gameplan going into his second meeting with Silva, so to imply that the checked kick was in any way “accidental” is absurd, and kind of disrespectful. Plus, Silva is “pretty sure [he] would have won the fight” if his leg didn’t snap in half? Congrats, Andy — you have officially entered the loss-justification leaderboard, somewhere between “the Japanese poisoned my food” and “I had a cracked skull, bro.”
Anderson’s desire to return to action is even crazier when you consider how agonizing his recovery has been to this point:
I’m not sure if this is good news or bad news, but Anderson Silva has no plans to retire following his sickening leg break at UFC 168, and the former middleweight champ is looking for a third fight against Chris Weidman as soon as he recovers. In fact, Silva is already trying to build heat for a re-rematch, crapping all over Weidman’s latest win in a new interview with Globo. As MMAFighting’s Guilherme Cruz translates:
“I believe that, if you pay attention to these technical details, you will see that (Weidman checking the kick) was instinct, not something that he trained to do,” Silva said. “No, I don’t think (Weidman should consider it a win). It was an accident. And I’m pretty sure I would have won the fight…
“To land the perfect kick, I needed to distract him by punching him in the face so he wouldn’t pay attention to the kick. He was protecting the upper part of his body, and the raised leg instinctively. The kick was so strong he lost balance…I saw my mistake, and now I’m only worried about my comeback. If the UFC thinks I deserve another opportunity (against Weidman) or if I need to earn it. I just want to do what I do, it doesn’t matter if it’s for the title or not. I want to do what I do well.”
Yes, Anderson, he raised his leg instinctively — almost as if he’d been drilling the defensive technique for months and was doing it on muscle-memory alone. Since the fight, Weidman has repeatedly stated that checking leg-kicks was a specific part of his gameplan going into his second meeting with Silva, so to imply that the checked kick was in any way “accidental” is absurd, and kind of disrespectful. Plus, Silva is “pretty sure [he] would have won the fight” if his leg didn’t snap in half? Congrats, Andy — you have officially entered the loss-justification leaderboard, somewhere between “the Japanese poisoned my food” and “I had a cracked skull, bro.”
Anderson’s desire to return to action is even crazier when you consider how agonizing his recovery has been to this point:
Right after he suffered the injury, “The Spider” wondered if he would ever walk again.
“The only thing I was thinking was ‘is it over? Will I walk again?’” he said “I was scared that I wouldn’t walk again. Many things were going through my head at that moment. I’m 38 now, and I will be 39 in April. That’s what I’m afraid of, but I’m confident that I will. I will be back”…
The MMA legend is still in pain, and he revealed that sometimes he asks his wife to take him for a ride around Los Angeles so he can just sit and cry away from his kids. Pain is part of Silva’s routine now, and he can’t even sleep without it.
“When I landed the kick I heard a loud noise, the sound of a bone breaking, and the pain was huge. And since I left the hospital, I can’t sleep,” he said. “It’s really hard. I think about it, and I wondered why. ‘Why, my God, I had to go through all this?’ I wonder which message He’s trying to teach me at this moment.”
Jeez, I don’t know. Maybe He’s telling you to walk away now while you still have your mental faculties? Maybe He’s teaching you a painful lesson about hubris? Maybe bad things happen to good people because God doesn’t actually intervene in the lives of human beings, positively or negatively? Like, He’s content to just hang back and watch, and it’s up to us to avoid breaking our legs? Maybe God doesn’t actually like MMA in the first place, and has always preferred boxing and pro-wrestling?
According to athletes who have already lived through what Silva is dealing with, the Spider will never be the same after this. He’s been a professional MMA fighter for over 16 years, and his daily life is now filled with inescapable pain. As an outsider looking in, I can’t comprehend why any fighter — especially one who has already established himself as the greatest of all time — would want to further risk his health, just to have a third fight against a guy who already beat him twice. Of course, Silva is crazy like a champion, and I’m just some regular shmuck. But still, is it really worth it?
“In Musangwe it is believed that stimulating the male sexual organs after a knockout increases their chances of surviving.”
This bit of folksy medical wisdom comes from the video description of “MUSANGWE KNOCKOUT- MOST DARING CPR!“, which just came to our attention this morning even though it’s been floating around for few days. (Apologies if you’ve already seen it; we were pretty much off the grid over New Year’s Eve/New Year’s Day. So…2014, eh? How ’bout that.)
As Gawker explains, Musangwe “is a form of bare-knuckle fist fighting traditionally practiced by the Venda people of South Africa.” And apparently, the rough, frantic handjob that the knockout-victim receives in the video isn’t punishment for losing — they’re trying to save his life. Still, once you add in the water-bucket it starts to look like an especially brutal fraternity hazing. I don’t know, man. There’s got to be an easier way.
My theory: At a certain point, that dude was just pretending to be asleep.
“In Musangwe it is believed that stimulating the male sexual organs after a knockout increases their chances of surviving.”
This bit of folksy medical wisdom comes from the video description of “MUSANGWE KNOCKOUT- MOST DARING CPR!“, which just came to our attention this morning even though it’s been floating around for few days. (Apologies if you’ve already seen it; we were pretty much off the grid over New Year’s Eve/New Year’s Day. So…2014, eh? How ’bout that.)
As Gawker explains, Musangwe “is a form of bare-knuckle fist fighting traditionally practiced by the Venda people of South Africa.” And apparently, the rough, frantic handjob that the knockout-victim receives in the video isn’t punishment for losing — they’re trying to save his life. Still, once you add in the water-bucket it starts to look like an especially brutal fraternity hazing. I don’t know, man. There’s got to be an easier way.
My theory: At a certain point, that dude was just pretending to be asleep.
Maybe it’s just me, but everytime it seems like this thing we call MMA is finally on the right track towards honest-to-God legitimacy, Jose Canseco shows up, or the UFC signs a yoga instructor(‘s death warrant), or some shit like this happens and we’re back to square one.
Begin the SMH’ing, because some Brazilian website is reporting that Shooto, one of Brazil’s longest and (formerly) most prestigious MMA organizations, is planning a man vs. woman fight at this weekend’s Shooto Brazil 45. Specifically, Nova Uniao product Emerson Falcao vs. Team Nogueira’s Juliana Velasquez. Who will be making her professional debut.
I…I just can’t anymore, you guys. Wiping my hands of this whole thing.
And who came up with this fucking ree-dick-you-lus idea, you ask? Oh, just Andre Pederneiras, the legendary Uniao founder/trainer who has seemed like a relatively intelligent individual up until this point. Maybe he knows something we don’t. In any case, here’s the scoop, as Velasquez told MMAFighting:
God damn it, you guys. God. Damn. It.
Maybe it’s just me, but everytime it seems like this thing we call MMA is finally on the right track towards honest-to-God legitimacy, Jose Canseco shows up, or the UFC signs a yoga instructor(‘s death warrant), or some shit like this happens and we’re back to square one.
Begin the SMH’ing, because some Brazilian website is reporting that Shooto, one of Brazil’s longest and (formerly) most prestigious MMA organizations, is planning a man vs. woman fight at this weekend’s Shooto Brazil 45. Specifically, Nova Uniao product Emerson Falcao vs. Team Nogueira’s Juliana Velasquez. Who will be making her professional debut.
I…I just can’t anymore, you guys. Wiping my hands of this whole thing.
And who came up with this fucking ree-dick-you-lus idea, you ask? Oh, just Andre Pederneiras, the legendary Uniao founder/trainer who has seemed like a relatively intelligent individual up until this point. Maybe he knows something we don’t. In any case, here’s the scoop, as Velasquez told MMAFighting:
Andre Pederneiras came up with the idea. He asked Team Nogueira for a female fighter and my team believes I’m ready, so I accepted the challenge. My expectations are the best. I’m well trained to get there and win.
I’m used to training with man every day. I’m a professional judoka and I know the adrenaline of the competition, I know how to handle this.
Look, it’s not like a woman can’t beat a man in an MMA fight. Ediane Gomes did it. Cyborg Santos probably does it on weekends for kicks. But there’s just something about this whole idea that seems so…
[UPDATE]
(via MMAFighting) Thank the heavens, this thing might not actually be happening:
Osiris Maia, member of the Brazilian Mixed Martial Arts Confederation, the entity responsible for regulating the Shooto Brazil events, is not sure if they will allow the male vs. female fight to happen.
“There’s nothing in the rules that specific prohibits a man to fight a woman, but when you interpret the rules you know that both athletes must be in the same level, so there’s no way a man should be allowed to fight a woman,” Maia told MMAFighting.com.
“We haven’t received the official card yet from the promotion, we’ll get that (on Thursday) at the weigh-ins,” he continued. “I wasn’t informed about that yet. They announced it to the media only, but if you ask me if we’re allowing it to happen, I don’t think so. I think it’s a disparity. We’ll see what’s going on tomorrow at the weigh-ins.”
Well, it’s good to know that there’s at least one sane individual in all of Brazil who will at least wait until the weigh-ins to call this sham off. The little victories, Nation. The little victories.
We will have more on this story travesty as details are made available.
“9-1-1! Call 9-1-1! Stop your fucking smiling! This asshole steals from me! You think it’s a joke? 9-1-1! I’m trying to stop a thief! Let’s go, goof! You wanna rob from me? Let’s go!”
And with that battle cry, one of the saddest but weirdly inspiring street fight videos we’ve ever seen is set into motion. First, we see an armless, legless man yell out in anger from a wheelchair on a sidewalk, accusing another man of stealing from him. The camera pans and we see a guy in a hat squared up with a blonde person in the middle of a street, as cars honk past them.
When the yellow-haired fighter — who seems to be sided with the man in the wheelchair — gets taken down, our limbless hero hops off his wheelchair and bounces towards the grounded pair. The speed at which he closes the distance is terrifying. Once he has joined the pile of bodies, he uses all the powers at his disposal to fight the accused thief until onlookers separate them. “You’re kidding me,” the cameraman says.
Like most street fights, this looks to be a sad situation and truthfully, we have no idea who is in the right and wrong here. However, we like to imagine that the man in the wheelchair was indeed taken advantage of due to his reduced condition, a friend tried to defend him, and when that friend’s fortunes took a bad turn in the fight, wheelchair-man didn’t let his own lack of appendages stop him from throwing down in the middle of a busy street.
Kind of like a real-life, noble Black Knight. “NONE SHALL PASS!”
“9-1-1! Call 9-1-1! Stop your fucking smiling! This asshole steals from me! You think it’s a joke? 9-1-1! I’m trying to stop a thief! Let’s go, goof! You wanna rob from me? Let’s go!”
And with that battle cry, one of the saddest but weirdly inspiring street fight videos we’ve ever seen is set into motion. First, we see an armless, legless man yell out in anger from a wheelchair on a sidewalk, accusing another man of stealing from him. The camera pans and we see a guy in a hat squared up with a blonde person in the middle of a street, as cars honk past them.
When the yellow-haired fighter — who seems to be sided with the man in the wheelchair — gets taken down, our limbless hero hops off his wheelchair and bounces towards the grounded pair. The speed at which he closes the distance is terrifying. Once he has joined the pile of bodies, he uses all the powers at his disposal to fight the accused thief until onlookers separate them. “You’re kidding me,” the cameraman says.
Like most street fights, this looks to be a sad situation and truthfully, we have no idea who is in the right and wrong here. However, we like to imagine that the man in the wheelchair was indeed taken advantage of due to his reduced condition, a friend tried to defend him, and when that friend’s fortunes took a bad turn in the fight, wheelchair-man didn’t let his own lack of appendages stop him from throwing down in the middle of a busy street.
Kind of like a real-life, noble Black Knight. “NONE SHALL PASS!”
