Stay tuned, because we’ll be adding more designs to our store page in the future. In fact, here’s a standing offer — if you design an official CagePotato t-shirt and send it to us at [email protected], we’ll pay you $100 if we end up selling it. Just remember: It has to include our logo (see links below), and it has to be really, really good. Please, no Tater Williams.
Stay tuned, because we’ll be adding more designs to our store page in the future. In fact, here’s a standing offer — if you design an official CagePotato t-shirt and send it to us at [email protected], we’ll pay you $100 if we end up selling it. Just remember: It has to include our logo (see links below), and it has to be really, really good. Please, no Tater Williams.
(Don Frye is holding a revolver. Your argument is invalid.)
These days, Don Frye is less an MMA fighter, more a philosophizer on facial hair, poontang, and the keys to being an alpha male in every given situation that life presents. Don’t get us wrong, Frye will still lay the boots to any hooley-hoo punk-ass jabroni who’s asking for it at the drop of a hat, but thanks to our recent “Ask Don” mailbag column, we’ve been lucky enough to set Frye’s legendary MMA status aside and simply pry into his mind in the hopes that maybe some of it will rub off on our measly, pathetic lives. So check out his latest dose of sagacity below, make sure to leave your own questions in the comments section, and then visit DonFrye.com to buy some stuff that will instantly skyrocket your popularity with the ladies.
bgoldstein asks:Don, I heard you were doing some stunt-work recently for a movie. Like, you weren’t in the movie, you were just stunt-manning for some other actor. The fuck is up with that?
I enjoy stunt work. I am paid extra by the theatrical community to do the stunt work instead of acting work. Due to my extraordinary talent, all would forget about Brando, Olivier, and DeNiro when I am performing dialogue and emotions in front of the camera. Can you imagine Don Frye performing emotions in front of the camera? (Ed note: No. No I can not.)
(Don Frye is holding a revolver. Your argument is invalid.)
These days, Don Frye is less an MMA fighter, more a philosophizer on facial hair, poontang, and the keys to being an alpha male in every given situation that life presents. Don’t get us wrong, Frye will still lay the boots to any hooley-hoo punk-ass jabroni who’s asking for it at the drop of a hat, but thanks to our recent “Ask Don” mailbag column, we’ve been lucky enough to set Frye’s legendary MMA status aside and simply pry into his mind in the hopes that maybe some of it will rub off on our measly, pathetic lives. So check out his latest dose of sagacity below, make sure to leave your own questions in the comments section, and then visit DonFrye.com to buy some stuff that will instantly skyrocket your popularity with the ladies.
bgoldstein asks:Don, I heard you were doing some stunt-work recently for a movie. Like, you weren’t in the movie, you were just stunt-manning for some other actor. The fuck is up with that?
I enjoy stunt work. I am paid extra by the theatrical community to do the stunt work instead of acting work. Due to my extraordinary talent, all would forget about Brando, Olivier, and DeNiro when I am performing dialogue and emotions in front of the camera. Can you imagine Don Frye performing emotions in front of the camera? (Ed note: No. No I can not.)
alank asks:If you were given the chance to kick the living shit out of anybody, living or dead, who would you pick and why?
It would be Satan because he has caused all the tribulations in my life.
MoirningwoodII asks:Don, where are the best strip clubs? Don’t reply Thailand, cuz it was probably a dude that danced for you.
Iowa because of the number of tits on a belly, you get more for your money (cows).
2DaDeath asks:Roy Nelson thinks winning is the only thing that matters and Dana White thinks you should take risks so that you’re remembered (more or less). Who’s right?
In PRIDE you were paid to first entertain the crowd and second to win the fight. Roy Nelson is correct due to the “dictorial bullying” of Dana White… that if you loose two fights you are fired. So Roy Nelson is correct by default of the King’s Declaration.
crappieflopper asks:Mr. Frye, How do I convince my wife’s two sisters to have a three way with me? Please note, I am unable to grow an epic stash, or I would ask for advice on a four way with me, the wife, and her two sisters. Thank you.
Without the stash, you have no chance so just let it go and stay under the covers with your magazines.
Loki asks: My buddy Stephen ordered a shirt from you some time back and at the time you were out of stock, you called him personally to appologize and explain that your wife ran the site and didnt have all the kinks worked out yet: “Stephen. Hey there partner this is Don Frye…Its uh…7 o’clock…my time. etc.” That was pretty cool of you. My question is; were you drunk at the time? Because you sounded pretty drunk.
Apparently your friend had his phone in his front pocket when he played the message for you and the proximity made you too dizzy to hear the message correctly.
fake joe silva asks:What are your thoughts on fighters using marijuana? Should it be allowed? Do you use it?
Yes it should be allowed. If it’s not tested for the welfare class, why should it be tested for the people who work for a living?
(“Oh, the coat? Funny story. So there I was, robbing Steven Seagal at gunpoint…”)
After sifting through your brilliant questions — and your idiotic ones — MMA legend Don Frye has graced us with the first installment of his mailbag column on CagePotato. Read his wisdom below, and please lay down your own questions in the comments section. If he answers your question in a future column…well, you won’t be getting a prize or anything, but it’ll be the closest you come to greatness. Enjoy, and visit DonFrye.com for all your Don Frye needs.
danomite asks: Where the hell did you get those American flag trunks?
My mother-in-law made them and it was so exhausting that she had to retire from the fight shorts making business. The shorts were made from the flag Teddy Roosevelt waved charging up San Juan Hill. The flag was a gift to her personally because she was the horse that carried him.
johnny6pack asks: The eye gouge you suffered against Gilbert Yvel was the worst one thisside of Kevin Burns getting his retina ripped out by Anthony Johnson. [Ed. note: You got that one backwards, but okay.] Good on ya for keepin’ on with the fight. Did you ever try to get a rematch to kick his sorry cheatin’ ass? Also, how bad was the injury post-fight?
There was never a rematch. The eyes healed in a matter of a few days, as eyes heal quickly, mine just heal faster than anybody else. I was back in the strip club hours later rehabbing my eyes.
(“Oh, the coat? Funny story. So there I was, robbing Steven Seagal at gunpoint…”)
After sifting through your brilliant questions — and your idiotic ones — MMA legend Don Frye has graced us with the first installment of his mailbag column on CagePotato. Read his wisdom below, and please lay down your own questions in the comments section. If he answers your question in a future column…well, you won’t be getting a prize or anything, but it’ll be the closest you come to greatness. Enjoy, and visit DonFrye.com for all your Don Frye needs.
danomite asks: Where the hell did you get those American flag trunks?
My mother-in-law made them and it was so exhausting that she had to retire from the fight shorts making business. The shorts were made from the flag Teddy Roosevelt waved charging up San Juan Hill. The flag was a gift to her personally because she was the horse that carried him.
johnny6pack asks: The eye gouge you suffered against Gilbert Yvel was the worst one thisside of Kevin Burns getting his retina ripped out by Anthony Johnson. [Ed. note: You got that one backwards, but okay.] Good on ya for keepin’ on with the fight. Did you ever try to get a rematch to kick his sorry cheatin’ ass? Also, how bad was the injury post-fight?
There was never a rematch. The eyes healed in a matter of a few days, as eyes heal quickly, mine just heal faster than anybody else. I was back in the strip club hours later rehabbing my eyes.
leoherbie asks: Who is your favorite MMA pioneer (early 1990s era), and who is your favorite modern-day MMA fighter?
Don Frye is my favorite pioneer, you big dummy! I like anybody who has a world championship belt because they have dedicated their lives and worked hard to succeed and be on top. They built it themselves despite what the claim may be from people who have not done anything on their own and/or who have had their position purchased for them.
bgoldstein asks: If MMA didn’t exist, what do you think you would have done with your life?
I would have been a gynocologist for the CIA.
2dadeath asks: Obama or Romney?
Romney! Hey everybody, this time vote American like I always do!
Loki asks: Have you been approached to play a role in the Expendables series yet? (If not, when will be see you on the big screen again?)
My agent advised me that my tendency to use multi-syllable words prevents me from participating in the film. Although, I did enjoy the movie, especially the firearms and fight scenes.
keithhackneywilndmillpalmstrike asks: What is your typical breakfast? I imagine it somewhere along the lines of a large steak or slab of flesh of some kind, a tall glass of Bourbon, a pile of bacon, a bowl of nails and some shards of glass…am I in the ballpark?
You are quite right, you just forgot that it is served up by a half dozen female porn starlettes armed with machine guns and hand grenades begging me to allow them to tend to all my personal needs.
CagePotato.com — the site that brought you “Ask Gary,” “Ask Dan,” and “Ask Carmen” — is pleased to announce our next celebrity correspondent. We’ve secured the talents of legendary MMA brawler/actor/commentator/relationship counselorDon Frye for a weekly interview series that will begin later this month. And we’re going to try* it a little different this time; instead of a written mailbag column, we’re going to organize an interactive video podcast where you can ask Don questions yourself, face to face.
But first, let’s seed this little garden with some questions to start off with. If you have anything you’d like to ask Don, please toss your questions in the comments section below. From his early UFC career, to his classic battles in Japan, to his beef with Dana White, to his alleged sexual assault of Rob Schneider, nothing is off limits. Thanks so much, and brace yourselves. More details about our Ask Don broadcasts will arrive next week. In the meantime, follow check out Don’s official web site, thepredatordonfrye.com.
* Pending our own technological capabilities. I mean, you remember how shaky this kind of thing was last time.
(Right back atcha, buddy!)
CagePotato.com — the site that brought you “Ask Gary,” “Ask Dan,” and “Ask Carmen” — is pleased to announce our next celebrity correspondent. We’ve secured the talents of legendary MMA brawler/actor/commentator/relationship counselorDon Frye for a weekly interview series that will begin later this month. And we’re going to try* it a little different this time; instead of a written mailbag column, we’re going to organize an interactive video podcast where you can ask Don questions yourself, face to face.
But first, let’s seed this little garden with some questions to start off with. If you have anything you’d like to ask Don, please toss your questions in the comments section below. From his early UFC career, to his classic battles in Japan, to his beef with Dana White, to his alleged sexual assault of Rob Schneider, nothing is off limits. Thanks so much, and brace yourselves. More details about our Ask Don broadcasts will arrive next week. In the meantime, follow check out Don’s official web site, thepredatordonfrye.com.
* Pending our own technological capabilities. I mean, you remember how shaky this kind of thing was last time.
(Little known fact: The original version of America the Beautiful contained a fifth verse about Don Frye’s shorts.)
In honor of our country’s 236th birthday, we’ve got a special CagePotato Roundtable discussion for you guys: Who was the greatest American MMA fighter of all time? Because let’s face it, America is exceptional, and we produce the best goddamned fighters in the world. SORRY LIBERAL MEDIA, I SAID IT. Enjoy, and if you have an idea for a future Roundtable topic, please send it to [email protected]. And hey, be careful with those bottle rockets, okay?
I’d stack Dan’s accomplishments up against any other fighter in this roundtable discussion — the unprecedented two-division title reign in PRIDE, the five single-night tournament sweeps, the stunning knockouts of Wanderlei Silva, Michael Bisping, and Fedor Emelianenko — but what makes him America’s MMA G.O.A.T. is his incredible longevity. Dan Henderson has been a top-ten fighter longer than anybody else in the history of the sport. I can only think of two other MMA fighters who started their careers 15 years ago who are still considered viable stars, and neither of them are American: Vitor Belfort, whose career was plagued by long stretches of injury and inconsistency, and Anderson Silva, who’s a freakish exception to any rule.
(Little known fact: The original version of America the Beautiful contained a fifth verse about Don Frye’s shorts.)
In honor of our country’s 236th birthday, we’ve got a special CagePotato Roundtable discussion for you guys: Who was the greatest American MMA fighter of all time? Because let’s face it, America is exceptional, and we produce the best goddamned fighters in the world. SORRY LIBERAL MEDIA, I SAID IT. Enjoy, and if you have an idea for a future Roundtable topic, please send it to [email protected]. And hey, be careful with those bottle rockets, okay?
I’d stack Dan’s accomplishments up against any other fighter in this roundtable discussion — the unprecedented two-division title reign in PRIDE, the five single-night tournament sweeps, the stunning knockouts of Wanderlei Silva, Michael Bisping, and Fedor Emelianenko — but what makes him America’s MMA G.O.A.T. is his incredible longevity. Dan Henderson has been a top-ten fighter longer than anybody else in the history of the sport. I can only think of two other MMA fighters who started their careers 15 years ago who are still considered viable stars, and neither of them are American: Vitor Belfort, whose career was plagued by long stretches of injury and inconsistency, and Anderson Silva, who’s a freakish exception to any rule.
As for Dan, there’s no reason a 41-year-old man should still be able to compete at such a high level, after so many wars. Of all the old legends, he’s the last man standing. He’s even managed to outlast fighters who started competing several years after he did and who are still considered legends. (I’m thinking of Fedor and BJ in particular.) Henderson is without a doubt the best American fighter in the sport’s history, and if he manages to beat Jon Jones in September, he’s got my vote for greatest fighter of all time.
When you ask who the best American fighter is, there are two ways you can interpret this question. One way is “who is the best fighter born in America?” My answer to that would be Dan Henderson, but unfortunately, BG called dibs on him first. But fortunately for me, there’s another way to interpret this; “who is the best fighter who embodies the ideals and characteristics of America?” Before you say Brian Stann or Randy Couture, let’s be real; being in the Army isn’t a marker of how “American” you are. There are plenty of Americans who are not only not in the military, but actually oppose how our military is utilized. Are they somehow less American because they disagree with our country’s foreign policy? Hardly.
The fact is that America is a land of dualities. Two sides to one coin. East coast and West coast, Republican and Democrat, Coke and Pepsi, you know the drill. And no fighter embodies that sense of duality more than Nick Diaz. Occupy Wall Street says America’s got the 1% and the 99%? Nick Diaz gets paid “too much” — like the 1% — but “not enough” – just like the 99%! His interviews consist of minutes of nonsensical rambling that contain nuggets of profoundly accurate observations. He’s the world’s most energetic stoner. Speaking of which, like half of the country, he thinks marijuana should be legal. Like many Americans, he doesn’t like waking up and going to work sometimes and he is a fan of profanity.
Of course, he doesn’t share all the qualities of Americans. He’s in fantastic shape, which is somewhat contrary to the image of the country with the largest obesity rate in the world. But it’s not like Americans let the truth get in the way of their own convenient narratives anyway. That’s why it’s easy to pick a soldier when we think about who’s the best American fighter, because we like to buy into the concept of the ideal American. But Nick Diaz is a real American, with all the virtues and vices that make this country what it really is. And it just so happens he can throw down with the best of them in arguably the best division in the UFC. That’s what makes Nick Diaz the best American fighter.
God (as communicated to blessed virgin Jared Jones)
You are now listening to the word of The Lord.
Randy Couture retired with a record of 19-11, having never defended one of the belts he was gifted more than twice in his career. He is a polygamist and an adulterer who will be run over by a Mack truck on the set of The Expendables 3 immediately after proposing to his seventh wife, a 17-year-old flight stewardess who just happened to be assigned to his private jet.
Dan Severn is a big, smelly, ape who used to sodomize other men — grown men — in the early days of the sport and pass it off as “entertainment” or “wrestling.” He now resorts to working matches against jobbers and fighting dementia-ridden homeless people who were lured into the hole-in-the-wall dives he calls home with the promise of a peanut butter and crack sandwich if they were able to defeat him. The few who were able to do so without succumbing to old-man-sweat-poisoning never received the PB & C sandwich they so rightfully deserved.
Don Frye is a misogynistic drunkard who resorts to crass jokes involving his genitalia, miles of broken glass, and the opportunity to hear a certain woman’s flatulence over a walkie-talkie during live broadcasts.
Tito Ortiz laid with a common wench-for-hire and produced twin versions of the antichrist.
Jon Jones is so full of hubris that he refers to me as “Bones” when carrying out his weekly prayers.
What do these men all have in common? They were/are all terrible champions, and they are all destined to spend eternity in the fiery pits of Satan’s anus for their insolence.
Why is Matt Hughes the greatest American champion, you ask? Because he not only embodies every single core valueof the land I and I alone created, but he was able to play David to Satan’s Goliaths through the simple power of hard work, determination, and constant worship of all that is me. If you need any more convincing, look no further than his seven title defenses. Not six, seven. Six is the devil’s number, which explains why Matt has defeated six former champions in his time. Suck it, Lucifer. Matt also currently holds the record for most UFC victories, a record that will never be broken if I have anything to say about it (Spoiler: I do. I have everything to say about it).
I am absolutely shocked (and rather insulted) that the rest of you would even insinuate that there is a greater American than Mr. Hughes. The book I wrote about him was calledMade in America: The Most Dominant Champion in UFC History, for My Son’s sake.What else do you need?A second coming? Mr. Hughes has defended our (re: my)country’s honor from those dirty, big-butted Brazilians and their latently-homosexual “ground fighting” by using their own techniques against them, showing them the err of their ways, if you will, despite the fact that he doesn’t even hold a “belt” in their amoral, so-called “sport.” He was the only man to offer any resistance whatsoever against that dry-humping Canuck who is currently fisting the welterweight division into non-existence, and in his spare time, Mr. Hughes defends our homes from the guardians of Hell.
The proof is in the country breakfast bread pudding, people.
“You’re only allowed three great women in your lifetime. They come along like the great fighters, every ten years. Rocky Marciano. Sugar Ray Robinson. Joe Louis. Sometimes you get ‘em all at once…”
It’s fitting that I start my entry with these classic lines from A Bronx Tale. In context, Sonny taught a generation through C how to look for a good woman. By themselves, Sonny sets the bar for how I’m about to define the greatest American mixed martial artist. There have been plenty of good fighters to come from America, but as far as I’m concerned, only one great one. Good fighters win. Great fighters dominate. Good fighters make you change your game plan. Great fighters change the game.
In the past ten years, MMA fans have been privileged to watch the following three individuals: There’s been Fedor Emelianenko. There still is Anderson Silva. And we’re just getting started with my selection for this discussion, Jon Jones.
Even the most jaded Bones haters cannot deny that he is a special talent; at least not without looking bitter and pathetic. He started his career going 6-0 in only three months. He’d go on to make Andre Gusmao look utterly hopeless en route to a unanimous decision victory in his UFC debut — on two weeks’ notice, nonetheless. He’d become the youngest champion in the history of the UFC, defending the title three times before his 25th birthday. Save for one round against Rashad Evans and a few 12-6 elbows against Matt Hamill (resulting in the “loss” by DQ on his record), he’s yet to look human, let alone beatable.
He is our sport’s Michael Jordan. He is our sport’s Roberto Clemente. He is our sport’s Mike Tyson.
Of course, time will tell which comparison is the most accurate. Will he continue to raise the bar to seemingly insurmountable heights? Will he be taken from us while he’s still in his prime, leaving us to wonder what could have been if he stuck around for another few years? Or will he suffer a monumental collapse, and be remembered as more of a cautionary tale than a once-dominant champion? We’ll have to wait and see, but regardless of how this story ends, Jon Jones deserves to be remembered as the greatest American mixed martial artist in our sport’s brief history.
If he could go back in time and erase five of his six final bouts, Chuck Liddell would have gone down as one of the greatest Mixed Martial Artists of all time. Instead, the accumulation of 22 amateur kickboxing matches and 29 pro MMA fights caught up to the “Iceman,” who earned the nickname by knocking fools cold. Unfortunately for Liddell, he would be the one staring wide-eyed at the bright lights of the arena during the twilight of his career. So instead Charles David “Chuck” Liddell gets the consolation prize being my choice for the greatest American MMA athlete in history. But like I said, prior to the closing stages of his illustrious career where he was on the recieving end of some horrific KOs, he was the one doling out the punishment.
If you go eight-and-a-half years in the sport of MMA facing top tier talent and only lose three times, you’re either blessed or pretty damn good — or both. For Chuck, in his third professional fight, there was no shame in getting submitted by Jeremy Horn especially when he beat the piss of out of Gumby in their rematch years later. Having Randy Couture go all Cpt. Cardio on Chuck was not a reason to hang his head since he dicknailed The Natural in the following two bouts of their trilogy. Then he gassed against Rampage during the Pride Grand Prix in Japan after which he went back to the UFC, captured the light-heavyweight championship and defended it five times. At that point he was recognized as the clichéd “baddest man on the planet.”
Let’s face it. For the better part of a decade there were three fighters who literally carried the UFC. Tito Ortiz, Randy Couture, and Liddell gave the UFC a piggyback ride towards the mainstream success it now has. Since Chuck has a 4-1 combined record against Ortiz and Couture, he wins. That trademark overhand right and the seemingly unbelievable ability to not get taken down garnered Chuck all the accolades. He was the focal point of the UFC at the very beginning of its push towards becoming a household commodity. He was the first MMA’er to be on the cover of ESPN the magazine. He was in movies and featured during an episode of Entourage (before it started to suck). Chuck did all the press junkets and visited various local morning news shows (with mostly great results) to promote the UFC.
Now in retirement, he is the Vice President of Business Development for the UFC. I don’t exactly know what the fuck that means but I am pretty sure he shakes hands and kisses babies all around the world while promoting the UFC with that crazy look in his eyes. Chuck is college educated and very well spoken even though he has a thick mohawk with a few head tattoos. Could you ask for anything more from an ambassador?
No man thinks more highly than I do of the patriotism, as well as abilities, of the very worthy gentlemen who have been mentioned heretofore. But different men often see the same subject in different lights; and, therefore, I hope it will not be thought disrespectful to those gentlemen if, entertaining as I do, opinions of a character very opposite to theirs, I shall speak forth my sentiments freely, and without reserve. This is no time for ceremony. The question before the roundtable is one of monumental moment to this Potato Nation. For my own part, I consider it as nothing less than a question of love or hate; and in proportion to the magnitude of the subject ought to be the freedom of the debate. It is only in this way that we can hope to arrive at truth, and fulfill the great responsibility, which we hold to God and our country. Should I keep back my opinions at such a time, through fear of giving offence, I should consider myself as guilty of treason towards this nation, and of an act of disloyalty toward the majesty of heaven, which I revere above all earthly kings.
Readers of CagePotato, it is natural to man to indulge in the illusions of hope. We are apt to shut our eyes against a painful truth, and listen to the song of that siren till she transforms us into beasts. Chael P. Sonnen is the greatest American mixed martial artist of all time. Not Couture. Not Severn. Not Henderson or anyone else for that matter. Despite his alter ego Señor Chael, Sonnen embodies what it truly means to be American like no other…and his MMA career speaks for itself. Come Sunday morning, you will all have a new pound-for-pound king. You may all cry troll alert, but you would be amiss. You can start a flame war in the comments section if you feel it necessary, but is this the part of wise men, engaged in a great and arduous struggle to crown the best American fighter in MMA history?
All the guys above me have spewed their media hype with reckless abandon and smirk all the while. Is it that insidious smile with which you wish to agree with? Trust it not, sirs; it will prove a snare to your feet. Suffer not yourselves to be betrayed with a kiss. They tell you about their record and accolades; they argue how their guys was always a formidable adversary and how without them, the sport just would not be the same. But who can match the awesomeness of Chael P. Sonnen? Who can lay claim to having thrown a beating to the most feared striker in the game? All of his future opponents need to acquire the means of effectual resistance instead of lying supinely on their backs, and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until he grinds them into a bloody mess. The best American fighter award is not given to the champions of Christmas past alone; it is to the vigilant, the active, the brave. No fighter in MMA history, who has bled red, white, and blue has ever been more vigilant, active, and brave as Chael Sonnen has been in his pursuit with the UFC middleweight champion, Anderson Silva.
It is in vain, fellas, to extenuate the matter. These guys may cry, BS, BS but there is no bull here. The unadulterated truth has actually been revealed! The next gale that sweeps from the north will bring to our ears the clash of resounding leather gloves on Brazilian skull followed by a familiar voice shouting, “Aaaaannnnd new…!” His army of beloved fans is already waiting anxiously! Why stand we here idle? What more do you need to hear? Is honor so dear, or glory so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of money laundering and bold-faced lies? Quite possibly not, but hey, what are you going to do? I know not what whom others may take; but as for me, give me Sonnen or give me death!
On the next page: Tito, Don, Randy, and ReX’s extra-special Top 7 ranking of American legends.
(Fact: Don Frye charged each of these women a ZJ for this photo.)
For all the “creative” insults and red-blooded rants Chael Sonnen is able to come up with out of the blue, he will never hold a candle to the crass, old timey anecdotes of Don Frye. The man has more bravado than a Sherman tank full of other Sherman tanks, more wisdom than a Tibetan monk achieving Buddhahood, and would fight his own mother in your basement for a shot of Jack Daniels if you asked him correctly. He makes the Brawny man look like a metrosexual, and orders grilled bison when your mother takes him to that hip new Vegan restaurant in town. Matter of fact, Frye’s masculinity has grown so powerful that it even manifested itself in the greatest television character of all time: Ron fucking Swanson.
So you wouldn’t be surprised to learn that, during a recent interview with Sherdog’s “Savage Dog Show,” Frye was unrelenting in his mockery of everyone from Dana White to Brock Lesnar, unleashing a hellstorm of one liners that will surely make you feel like less of a man for not even having the gonads to dream them up.
First, let’s start with Frye’s assessment of the current UFC fighter pay scale:
Oh my God, it’s a crime. It’s a crime. You see some of these guys only getting two or three or six thousand dollars and you’ve got Dana bragging about having 30 Ferraris. Come on. You have a sponsor and he charges a sponsor what, a hundred and fifty grand to have your stuff on the fighter? That’s money he’s stealing from the fighter. Then he goes and he pays them two or three thousand dollars. That’s crazy.
Join us after the jump for more from the interview. Don’t worry, it only gets better.
(Fact: Don Frye charged each of these women a ZJ for this photo.)
For all the “creative” insults and red-blooded rants Chael Sonnen is able to come up with out of the blue, he will never hold a candle to the crass, old timey anecdotes of Don Frye. The man has more bravado than a Sherman tank full of other Sherman tanks, more wisdom than a Tibetan monk achieving Buddhahood, and would fight his own mother in your basement for a shot of Jack Daniels if you asked him correctly. He makes the Brawny man look like a metrosexual, and orders grilled bison when your mother takes him to that hip new Vegan restaurant in town. Matter of fact, Frye’s masculinity has grown so powerful that it even manifested itself in the greatest television character of all time: Ron fucking Swanson.
So you wouldn’t be surprised to learn that, during a recent interview with Sherdog’s “Savage Dog Show,” Frye was unrelenting in his mockery of everyone from Dana White to Brock Lesnar, unleashing a hellstorm of one liners that will surely make you feel like less of a man for not even having the gonads to dream them up.
First, let’s start with Frye’s assessment of the current UFC fighter pay scale:
Oh my God, it’s a crime. It’s a crime. You see some of these guys only getting two or three or six thousand dollars and you’ve got Dana bragging about having 30 Ferraris. Come on. You have a sponsor and he charges a sponsor what, a hundred and fifty grand to have your stuff on the fighter? That’s money he’s stealing from the fighter. Then he goes and he pays them two or three thousand dollars. That’s crazy.
Now, we’re not going to say anything that a poorly executed ESPN segment hasn’t already attempted to say in regards to fighter pay. If fighters feel they are being mistreated, they have several options:
1. Form a union, which Dana White has long stated is “up to them,”
2. Goad Zuffa into firing them under the belief that other promotions will pay more ie. Rampage Jackson.
3. Use a combination of arrogance, pleading, and incomprehensibility to confuse the Zuffa brass into paying them millions ie. James Toney.
We would say that it is unfair for Frye to base the income of the President of the UFC against that of its lower-tier fighters, but honestly, we are too afraid of Frye to state it outwardly.
Anyway, Frye continued his verbal assault on The Baldfather throughout the interview, which can be heard in its entirety here. But nothing hit harder than Frye’s claim that White had “ruined the sport” he loved so dearly:
The fans are fantastic. Fantastic fans. But the thing is, Dana White’s just ruined the sport. I got to thinking about it today and you know, he ruined it for me. I thought, ‘Why am I letting that asshole dictate my life and take all of the fun out of it for me?’ I just ignore him and go on with my life.
We don’t care how thick skinned DW claims to be, that one must have hurt.
A few of our other favorite tidbits are as follows:
On whether or not he brings it every fight: “A couple of times I didn’t pull it off. I screwed up, but I’m not like Brock Lesnar where there’s a trail of piss from the locker room to the cage. I come to fight. I’m not walking in there looking for a soft spot to land.”
On motivation: “Yeah, it’s called an empty wallet.”
On his most recent KO loss to Ruben Villareal: “I didn’t train. I worked out, but I didn’t train. There’s quite a difference, quite a difference. We had the weigh-ins. Ruben took off his shirt and looked like Tarzan. I tell you what, if I had a car, I’d have jumped in it and left right then and there. I deserved it. Ruben Villareal, he stomped the s–t out of me and I deserved it because I thought I’d go in there just as Don Frye and my press clippings would impress him. Apparently he never learned to read on the reservation. He wasn’t impressed with my print.”
Just like those talks with your senile grandfather, it wouldn’t be a Don Frye moment if it didn’t contain just a tinge of racism, right?
