Tag: Fight booking

Josh Koscheck Returns To The Octagon At UFC 184 Against Neil Magny


(Josh Koscheck deep in thought. / Photo via Getty)

Josh Koscheck will look to avoid being a stepping-stone for the rising Neil Magny when both welterweights collide at UFC 184, according to MMA Junkie.

The Fresno-based fighter, who began a stint as an analyst on FOX Sports 1 and gave our children nightmares on the first day of the job, will be returning from a year of inactivity and mumblings of retirement based on remarks made by Dana White after the former welterweight title challenger was knocked out by Tyron Woodley at UFC 167. It was his second back-to-back knockout loss, falling at the hands of Robbie Lawler before that at UFC 157 back in February 2013. “Kos” is in dire need of a win if he wants to resume fighting, riding a three-fight losing streak. If he topples his opponent in Los Angeles, Calif., it would be his first victory in two years.


(Josh Koscheck deep in thought. / Photo via Getty)

Josh Koscheck will look to avoid being a stepping-stone for the rising Neil Magny when both welterweights collide at UFC 184, according to MMA Junkie.

The Fresno-based fighter, who began a stint as an analyst on FOX Sports 1 and gave our children nightmares on the first day of the job, will be returning from a year of inactivity and mumblings of retirement based on remarks made by Dana White after the former welterweight title challenger was knocked out by Tyron Woodley at UFC 167. It was his second back-to-back knockout loss, falling at the hands of Robbie Lawler before that at UFC 157 back in February 2013. “Kos” is in dire need of a win if he wants to resume fighting, riding a three-fight losing streak. If he topples his opponent in Los Angeles, Calif., it would be his first victory in two years.

Undefeated in 2014 by racking up five straight victories, Magny’s stock can rise if he’s successful against “Kos,” as he currently holds the record for the most wins by any fighter in the UFC this year when he defeated William Macario at UFC 179 last month. Tying Roger Huerta for the most nods in a calendar year, not to mention holding the longest active winning streak out of all his 170-pound compatriots, Magny hopes to show observers his impressive run wasn’t for nothing. Winning is everything, yet this is Magny’s chance to prove he’s better than just the average mid-card talent. Koscheck would be his most prized victory, if that makes sense, after getting the better of a handful of guys without Wikipedia pages (including three out of five decision victories).

Call it odd matchmaking, but it makes sense if we look at it in terms of the fight game. Koscheck may or may not have it anymore, seeing how he’s faltered as of late, and him and his past nemesis Diego Sanchez are the only bucks left from the inaugural TUF season 1 (arguably the only season you ever needed to watch). That’s a lot of wear and tear, especially for someone that never sported gold.

His foe certainly is turning some heads, however, Magny isn’t a name that’s going to be thrown around at your next UFC viewing party. A win in definitive fashion could change that.

Plus, it doesn’t take a boxing historian to figure out this is a crossroads fight for Koscheck, and the most important bout for Magny to date in his career. It’s either out with the old, in with the new, or “I’ll punch out of work when I tell you I’m punching out of work.”

UFC 184 takes place Feb. 28, 2015, from LA’s famed Staples Center, featuring two title bouts including Chris Weidman vs. Vitor Belfort for the middleweight strap, alongside Ronda Rousey defending her women’s bantamweight belt against Cat Zingano.

– Alex G.

Joey Beltran Has Earned a Light Heavyweight Title Shot Against Emanuel Newton, And We’re Not Sure How


(“Your jaw is fine, Joey, but for the love of God, keep him away from your privates!” via Spike)

Former UFC slugger Joey “The Mexicutioner” Beltran has fallen on some hard times, y’all. While he’s never been what you would call a world-beater, his past five fights have resulted in two decision losses, one knockout loss, a win overturned due to a post-fight failed drug test, and a submission win over a 43-year-old and already retired Vladimir Matyushenko at Bellator 116. A gutsy, take-no-prisoners kind of fighter Beltran may be, but its safe to say that “The Mexicutioner” isn’t exactly next in line for a shot at the title, even in Bellator’s ultra-shallow light heavyweight division.

Oh, MMA, just when I thought I had you figured out!


(“Your jaw is fine, Joey, but for the love of God, keep him away from your privates!” via Spike)

Former UFC slugger Joey “The Mexicutioner” Beltran has fallen on some hard times, y’all. While he’s never been what you would call a world-beater, his past five fights have resulted in two decision losses, one knockout loss, a win overturned due to a post-fight failed drug test, and a submission win over a 43-year-old and already retired Vladimir Matyushenko at Bellator 116. A gutsy, take-no-prisoners kind of fighter Beltran may be, but its safe to say that “The Mexicutioner” isn’t exactly next in line for a shot at the title, even in Bellator’s ultra-shallow light heavyweight division.

Oh, MMA, just when I thought I had you figured out!

Maybe it’s just me, but this fight seems more like something Bjorn Rebney would pull, not his excellence Scott Coker. It’s about as throwaway a title fight as we’ve seen in recent memory, and could only have been booked as a sacrifice to the MMA Gods. That being said, it looks like this year’s Harvest will be even better than last year’s.

I guess the biggest question to come out of this booking is that of Rampage Jackson, who stopped Beltran, then Christian M’Pumbu, then decisioned Kingo Mo to technically earn the next title shot. Has Jackson already gotten cold feet in regards to his Bellator contract? DETAILS AT 11.

Bellator 124 goes down from Michigan’s Compuware Arena on Friday, September 12.

–J. Jones

Henry Cejudo Signs With the UFC, Will Meet Scott Jorgensen at UFC 177


(Henry Cejudo wrestles a crazed MMA fan. / Photo via Getty)

Well, Potato Nation, it appears we may have been…wrong.

Emphasis on may have been.

A few months ago, we called Olympic gold medalist Henry Cejudo the biggest bust in MMA history. At the time, there was plenty of evidence to support it–specifically his apparent lack of focus (and sanity) as far as MMA was concerned. Then there was his involvement with a cult of weird, new age, self-help loons.


(Henry Cejudo wrestles a crazed MMA fan. / Photo via Getty)

Well, Potato Nation, it appears we may have been…wrong.

Emphasis on may have been.

A few months ago, we called Olympic gold medalist Henry Cejudo the biggest bust in MMA history. At the time, there was plenty of evidence to support it–specifically his apparent lack of focus (and sanity) as far as MMA was concerned. Then there was his involvement with a cult of weird, new age, self-help loons.

The UFC doesn’t share our misgivings about Cejudo. They just signed the 2008 Olympic freestyle wrestling gold medal winner. They also booked him in a fight against a proven quantity in Scott Jorgensen.

Cejudo is 6-0 over Wikipedia-less jobbers. His most recent fight was back in January–a flyweight fight where he missed weight by three pounds. Jorgensen, too is coming off a victory. He defeated Danny Martinez at UFC Fight Night 42. Prior to that, he had dropped three fights straight.

This is an interesting signing, Potato Nation.

The biggest question is whether Cejudo can mentally cope with the big leagues. Judging by the fact that he had trouble dealing with the likes of Legacy FC, we’re not optimistic.

However, the UFC is willing to take the risk–and why not? The flyweight division is devoid of anyone that can even remotely be considered a draw. And, as Luke Thomas noted, Cejudo’s ability to speak Spanish would be a boon to the UFC’s efforts in Latin America provided he string a few wins together.

But even if Cejudo loses, it doesn’t matter. This fight is taking place on UFC 177–the card TJ Dillashaw vs. Renan Barao is headlining–so it’s unlikely anyone will see it happen.

Despite Actually Losing the TUF 17 Finale, Everyone is Still Terrified of Uriah Hall


(Gold Bond foot lotion: So soothing, it’ll knock you right off your motherfucking feet.) 

Since we know how much you guys love a good old fashioned conspiracy theory, try this one on for size: Everyone in the middleweight division is still scared shitless of Uriah Hall and will do anything within their power to avoid fighting him. Yes, despite the fact that he dropped a unanimous decision to Kelvin Gastelum in his UFC debut, Hall seemingly cannot find an opponent brave (or healthy) enough to face him at UFC on FOX Sports: Shogun vs. Sonnen on August 17th.

First, Nick “mumblegumblemurglegurgle” Ring was scheduled to face Hall at the event. Then we posted this video, then Ring suspiciously went down with the first “blown asspussy” in UFC history. Ring was quickly replaced by Hall’s fellow TUF 17 alum, Josh Samman, and everything seemed to be back on track. Until yesterday, that is, when Samman likely realized that he would never be able to complete his Ethnography of Women and Violence in Post-war Guatemala thesis while comatose. Subsequently, Samman has also been forced to withdraw from his fight with Hall, paving the way for a certain UFC veteran (and Boston native) to reclaim the spotlight…


(Gold Bond foot lotion: So soothing, it’ll knock you right off your motherfucking feet.) 

Since we know how much you guys love a good old fashioned conspiracy theory, try this one on for size: Everyone in the middleweight division is still scared shitless of Uriah Hall and will do anything within their power to avoid fighting him. Yes, despite the fact that he dropped a unanimous decision to Kelvin Gastelum in his UFC debut, Hall seemingly cannot find an opponent brave (or healthy) enough to face him at UFC on FOX Sports: Shogun vs. Sonnen on August 17th.

First, Nick “mumblegumblemurglegurgle” Ring was scheduled to face Hall at the event. Then we posted this video, then Ring suspiciously went down with the first “blown asspussy” in UFC history. Ring was quickly replaced by Hall’s fellow TUF 17 alum, Josh Samman, and everything seemed to be back on track. Until yesterday, that is, when Samman likely realized that he would never be able to complete his Ethnography of Women and Violence in Post-war Guatemala thesis while comatose. Subsequently, Samman has also been forced to withdraw from his fight with Hall, paving the way for a certain UFC veteran (and Boston native) to reclaim the spotlight…

That’s right, Taters, none other than John “Doomsday” Howard will make his long-awaited return to the UFC on short notice to face Hall at the TD Garden. Howard posted the above video to his Youtube account yesterday to break the good news (as well as guarantee a FOTN-worthy performance); now let’s just hope he can make it to fight night in one piece.

Since being ousted from the UFC in 2011 following three straight losses — bringing his promotional record to 4-3 overall — Howard has gone 6-1 with five stoppages and is coming off back-to-back first round knockouts. “Doomsday” has offered to fight on the Boston card for free in recent months and even broke Boston bomber Tamerlan Tsaranev’s nose once, so it was kind of DW’s patriotic duty to include him on this card.

Will Howard be able to score an upset in his UFC return? Or is Hall destined to receive an endless loop of opponents who will never actually fight him?

–J. Jones

Josh Barnett Draws One Scary Looking Sumbitch for His Final Strikeforce Appearance


(DO ANYTHING YOU WANT TO THE GIRL, JUST DON’T HURT ME.) 

Meet Nandor “The Hun” Guelmino, a.k.a the man Josh Barnett will face in his final Strikeforce appearance at the hilariously mistitled Strikeforce: Champions event on January 12th. As you might have noticed, he is a terrifying individual who looks something like the freakish offspring of The Tall Man, The Silver Surfer, Imhotep, and an eighty pound bag of cement. With a record of 11-3, Guelmino has collected 7 straight victories not by consuming the souls of his opponents before pulling their spinal chords through their assholes as one would imagine, but rather by two earthly TKO’s, three submissions, and a pair of decisions. At 6’3” and just over 230 pounds, perhaps the most freakish thing about Guelmino is that he will actually be giving away some size to Barnett, who usually weighs in at just under 250lbs.

Having collected 6 victories by way of submission, it will be interesting to see how Guelmino will deals with the aggressive grappling attack of a guy like Barnett. My prediction: By lifting Barnett above his head, putting him in The Torture Rack, and spiking him through the canvas like a football. He will then grab the microphone from Gus Johnson and proclaim himself to be Ashta, Devourer of Worlds before unleashing a hellish sand monster in his likeness that descends upon the audience and wipes them out in one final flurry. Despite the massive loss of life, the moment will ultimately be declared a bit of redemption for Strikeforce.

Get familiar with “The Hun” after the jump.


(DO ANYTHING YOU WANT TO THE GIRL, JUST DON’T HURT ME.) 

Meet Nandor “The Hun” Guelmino, a.k.a the man Josh Barnett will face in his final Strikeforce appearance at the hilariously mistitled Strikeforce: Champions event on January 12th. As you might have noticed, he is a terrifying individual who looks something like the freakish offspring of The Tall Man, The Silver Surfer, Imhotep, and an eighty pound bag of cement. With a record of 11-3, Guelmino has collected 7 straight victories not by consuming the souls of his opponents before pulling their spinal chords through their assholes as one would imagine, but rather by two earthly TKO’s, three submissions, and a pair of decisions. At 6’3” and just over 230 pounds, perhaps the most freakish thing about Guelmino is that he will actually be giving away some size to Barnett, who usually weighs in at just under 250lbs.

Having collected 6 victories by way of submission, it will be interesting to see how Guelmino will deals with the aggressive grappling attack of a guy like Barnett. My prediction: By lifting Barnett above his head, putting him in The Torture Rack, and spiking him through the canvas like a football. He will then grab the microphone from Gus Johnson and proclaim himself to be Ashta, Devourer of Worlds before unleashing a hellish sand monster in his likeness that descends upon the audience and wipes them out in one final flurry. Despite the massive loss of life, the moment will ultimately be declared a bit of redemption for Strikeforce.

Although Guelmino may not hold any victories over any notable opponents — and in fact, was defeated by his only notable opponent in Semmy Schilt back in 2008 — he hasn’t exactly been fighting a bunch of cans. I mean sure, there’s a few in there, but Guelmino is fresh off a victory over the 19-5 Emil Zahariev and fought to a draw with a dude named Atilla “The Machine” Ucar. Huh. Seems like a real missed opportunity there.

Anyway, check out a few of Guelmino’s more recent fights below and let us know how good of a chance you think he stands on a scale of The Diaz brothers vs. MMA judges to Anderson Silva vs. Stephan Bonnar, with Guelmino being Silva in the latter.

Guelmino vs. Sasa Lazic 

Guelmino vs. Ivo Cuk

Guelmino vs. Ajlin Ahmic 

–J. Jones

Loser Leaves Town Alert: Leonard Garcia vs. Cody McKenzie Booked for UFC 155


Clearly, there are zero inappropriate jokes to be made here.

In the territorial days of professional wrestling, the loser leaves town match was a way for wrestling promoters to wrap up a storyline when one of the wrestlers left his company for a rival promotion. Even though MMA is much different from professional wrestling, our sport still books these fights every so often. It isn’t exactly uncommon for the UFC to book fights between two not-quite-contenders, where the losers receive a pink slip and a call from Ray or Bjorn.

Case in point: The UFC announced yesterday that featherweights Leonard Garcia and Cody McKenzie will meet up at UFC 155. With both men being a combined 3-7 in their last ten fights (2-8 if you aren’t blind, deaf and dumb), and both coming off of less-than-impressive losses, the loser of this fight will almost certainly be spending time outside of the UFC.

On paper, Leonard Garcia is heading into this bout in worse condition than his opponent. Garcia has only won once in his last five fights, and that victory was a total bullshit decision over Nam Phan. The only thing that may save Garcia is the fact that he’s usually entertaining in defeat – his Zuffa career includes a total of five Fight of the Night awards, one Knockout of the Night and 2010’s Fight of the Year, a total bullshit victory over The Korean Zombie at WEC 48. Oh, and if you haven’t noticed, judges have an inexplicable love for the guy.


Clearly, there are zero inappropriate jokes to be made here.

In the territorial days of professional wrestling, the loser leaves town match was a way for wrestling promoters to wrap up a storyline when one of the wrestlers left his company for a rival promotion. Even though MMA is much different from professional wrestling, our sport still books these fights every so often. It isn’t exactly uncommon for the UFC to book fights between two not-quite-contenders, where the losers receive a pink slip and a call from Ray or Bjorn. 

Case in point: The UFC announced yesterday that featherweights Leonard Garcia and Cody McKenzie will meet up at UFC 155. With both men being a combined 3-7 in their last ten fights (2-8 if you aren’t blind, deaf and dumb), and both coming off of less-than-impressive losses, the loser of this fight will almost certainly be spending time outside of the UFC.

On paper, Leonard Garcia is heading into this bout in worse condition than his opponent. Garcia has only won once in his last five fights, and that victory was a total bullshit decision over Nam Phan. The only thing that may save Garcia is the fact that he’s usually entertaining in defeat – his Zuffa career includes a total of five Fight of the Night awards, one Knockout of the Night and 2010′s Fight of the Year, a total bullshit victory over The Korean Zombie at WEC 48. Oh, and if you haven’t noticed, judges have an inexplicable love for the guy.

In reality, Cody McKenzie is in worse standing with the UFC heading into this contest. The TUF alumnus has been a one-trick pony, using his McKenzietine to rack up victories. While this strategy works in the bush leagues – and even against the lower end of the UFC’s roster – it has been disastrous for him against legitimate competition. McKenzie may only be on a one fight skid, but he could not have possibly looked worse in his last outing. Cody McKenzie managed to do jack shit before Chad Mendes crumbled him with a body shot just thirty-one seconds into their fight. Another loss would put the former lightweight at 2-4, and demonstrate that he just isn’t UFC material.

Based on a completely scientific formula I just made up involving both fighters’ recent fights and the very nature of loser leaves town matches, you can expect this fight to be an epic striker-vs-grappler clash. For three rounds, expect Cody McKenzie to put on a grappling clinic against Leonard Garcia, powering his way through Garcia’s wild striking, while attempting the dreaded McKenzietine numerous times throughout the fight. Garcia will win this match 30-27 on all scorecards, and give a post-fight interview that mostly consists of him shrugging his shoulders. McKenzie will scream “I’LL BE BACK!” while Dana White has security drag him out of the arena.

At UFC 156, a masked featherweight will absolutely destroy some hapless jobber while Joe Rogan comments that nobody knows who this new guy is, but it’s crazy how much he physically resembles Cody McKenzie. The masked grappler will end the fight with a McKenzietine, and we will all smile, knowing that the guy under the mask is clearly Cody McKenzie. The new guy will demand a fight against Leonard Garcia, and Dana White will happily grant him that fight at UFC 157. The new guy will destroy Leonard Garcia, take off his mask, and reveal to us all that he is actually just some random featherweight that has thick chest hair. Our collective minds will be blown away by this.

So that’s our prediction for this fight. Call your bookie now and bet on all of that happening. Do it.