Tag: funny MMA videos

Let’s Count the Cringe-Worthy Moments in This Amazing/Awful News Segment About a UFC Gym Opening

(Mad props to Nick Newell for sending this to us!)

1) The official name of this news segment is “Ruben takes on the ‘Black Beast’ at the new UFC gym.” The Black Beast in question is a large African-American dude who is never referred to by name. When you are the Black Beast, you don’t need a real name. [Update: The Black Beast has been identified as UFC heavyweight prospect Derrick Lewis.]

2) We hear Ruben before we see him. But once we do…holy crap, it’s wonderful. Ruben is going for the knockout, baby. He is dressed in male yoga pants, a sleeveless zip-up, and fingerless gloves, because he’s a real reporter. He sounds like a young, Latino Richard Simmons.

3) Close-up on a replica UFC belt, held by some kid. “Here it is, it’s the official UFC belt. I’m not lying! Seriously! Right, Randy?” Randy: “That’s correct, it is the actual UFC championship belt.”

4) After a whole lot of chest pummeling, the white guy with the dreads flips his female partner, and Ruben’s like “OH MAH GAWSH, HE JUST TOOK HER DOWN.” Ruben did not see that one coming.

5) Ruben after witnessing a triangle choke: “I wanna try that before I hit the ring with the Black Beast.” Patience, Ruben.

6) White guy with dreads: “Get on your back.” Ruben: “No, I don’t want to get on my back, you get on your back.”


(Mad props to Nick Newell for sending this to us!)

1. The official name of this news segment is “Ruben takes on the ‘Black Beast’ at the new UFC gym.” The Black Beast in question is a large African-American dude who is never referred to by name. When you are the Black Beast, you don’t need a real name. [Update: The Black Beast has been identified as UFC heavyweight prospect Derrick Lewis.]

2. We hear Ruben before we see him. But once we do…holy crap, it’s wonderful. Ruben is going for the knockout, baby. He is dressed in male yoga pants, a sleeveless zip-up, and fingerless gloves, because he’s a real reporter. He sounds like a young, Latino Richard Simmons.

3. Close-up on a replica UFC belt, held by some kid. “Here it is, it’s the official UFC belt. I’m not lying! Seriously! Right, Randy?” Randy: “That’s correct, it is the actual UFC championship belt.”

4. After a whole lot of chest pummeling, the white guy with the dreads flips his female partner, and Ruben’s like “OH MAH GAWSH, HE JUST TOOK HER DOWN.” Ruben did not see that one coming.

5. Ruben after witnessing a triangle choke: “I wanna try that before I hit the ring with the Black Beast.” Patience, Ruben.

6. White guy with dreads: “Get on your back.” Ruben: “No, I don’t want to get on my back, you get on your back.”

7. Ruben: “So what if I go like this to the Black Beast?”

8. Ruben literally shoves Randy aside after Randy shares some info about the gym. “I’M NOT FEELIN’ THE ENERGY, GET OUTTA HERE GET OUTTA HERE, COME ON GUYS, COME ON, LET’S GIVE IT UP FOR THE BLACK BEAST.” Ruben really wants that Black Beast, y’all.

9. Ruben takes a running start, jumps onto the Black Beast, and starts humping him. Back in the newsroom, the female anchor shrieks with glee. At 2:28, Ruben is basically grinding on the Black Beast like a hood stripper, and the female anchor feigns shock. “I feel like I saw that move up in the club,” she says.

10. Eventually, the Black Beast slams Ruben to the mat and Ruben squeals while the anchors freak out. What a great moment in local news.

11. “I think you won, Black Beast.”

12. The female anchor: “I like [that] the Black Beast’s face is just like, neutral…Poor Ruben. He is gonna be sore tomorrow.”

13. Afterwards, Ruben posts this photo to his twitter page:

14. Ruben has already been booked on the prelims of the TUF: Latin America Finale.

VIDEO: Wanderlei Silva and Chael Sonnen’s Hilarious and Awful TUF Brawl, In Its Entirety

The infamous “brawl” episode of TUF Brazil 3 finally aired yesterday, giving us a complete picture of what led up to Wanderlei Silva and Chael Sonnen tussling on the gym floor, and it’s honestly one of the funniest moments in TUF history. Silva instigates the situation by punching his palm and repeating the word “soon!” at Sonnen, like a schoolyard bully from a Disney movie. He spits at Sonnen’s feet, and I hate to make insulting comparisons here, but it’s the kind of thing that a llama or ape would do.

Chael remains as a cucumber, though: “How do you feel when you say crazy things like that to me, when I’ve been challenging you for years. You ever feel weird about that?”

At the 0:40 mark, I kid you not, Wanderlei says that Sonnen is going to have a daymare. Goodness, the English language offers so many possibilities for clever turns of phrase. But the best part is when Chael tries to grill Wandy on when exactly they’re going to fight. Of course, Wandy doesn’t have a clear answer for that. Then, Silva does some kind of slapping thing in front of Chael’s face, and the next time Silva closes distance on him, it’s on. Before you know it, Sonnen is on top of Silva, and Andre “Dida” Amade — who is an assistant coach on the show, not a competitor — is slugging Sonnen in the back of the head and ripping his jersey.

And that’s when this whole incident goes from comedy to tragedy. Sonnen called Dida’s behavior “straight-up illegal”, and he might have a point there. Just because you’re sucker-punched on a reality show doesn’t mean that normal assault rules don’t apply. Right? I have no idea, actually; I’ve never been on a Brazilian reality show. But I hear good things.

A few more important notes about this episode, via Wikipedia:

The infamous “brawl” episode of TUF Brazil 3 finally aired yesterday, giving us a complete picture of what led up to Wanderlei Silva and Chael Sonnen tussling on the gym floor, and it’s honestly one of the funniest moments in TUF history. Silva instigates the situation by punching his palm and repeating the word “soon!” at Sonnen, like a schoolyard bully from a Disney movie. He spits at Sonnen’s feet, and I hate to make insulting comparisons here, but it’s the kind of thing that a llama or ape would do.

Chael remains as a cucumber, though: “How do you feel when you say crazy things like that to me, when I’ve been challenging you for years. You ever feel weird about that?”

At the 0:40 mark, I kid you not, Wanderlei says that Sonnen is going to have a daymare. Goodness, the English language offers so many possibilities for clever turns of phrase. But the best part is when Chael tries to grill Wandy on when exactly they’re going to fight. Of course, Wandy doesn’t have a clear answer for that. Then, Silva does some kind of slapping thing in front of Chael’s face, and the next time Silva closes distance on him, it’s on. Before you know it, Sonnen is on top of Silva, and Andre “Dida” Amade — who is an assistant coach on the show, not a competitor — is slugging Sonnen in the back of the head and ripping his jersey.

And that’s when this whole incident goes from comedy to tragedy. Sonnen called Dida’s behavior “straight-up illegal”, and he might have a point there. Just because you’re sucker-punched on a reality show doesn’t mean that normal assault rules don’t apply. Right? I have no idea, actually; I’ve never been on a Brazilian reality show. But I hear good things.

A few more important notes about this episode, via Wikipedia:

– “The next heavyweight fight is supposed to be announced by Wanderlei, but he’s nowhere to be found. He finally arrives and the fight is revealed: Richardson Moreira vs. Job Kleber. Sonnen argues about Wanderlei’s excuses to be late and even mentions that he smells alcohol from his opponent.”

“Both teams participate in a challenge to write TUF: Brasil using a strings-based device that requires them to work together so the words are correctly written and approved by a professor. Team Sonnen finally ends their overall losing streak and Hortência announces that their team will participate in a pajamas party at the house while their opponents will be locked in a room as the party goes on.” [Ed. note: So, one team gets an all-dude pajama party, while the other has to play seven minutes in heaven?]

– “Gabrielle Garcia, a multi-time BJJ world champion, participates as a guest coach in Team Wanderlei’s training session.” [Ed. note: Obviously, this was filmed before her Clomiphene bust.]

– “…André Amade punches [Sonnen] in the back of the head and later brags about punching him and ripping his shirt off. Vinny Magalhães tells [Sonnen] that Amade was punching him, something that he didn’t notice. The entire team is perplexed with Amade’s attitude.”

Monday Morning Video Dump: Best Non-UFC KOs of 2013, Wild Brawl at Badminton Match, Key & Peele’s Latest MMA Spoof + More

(Some New Year’s motivation from Phuket Top Team. Now go out and make something of your lives, you pansies.)

It’s the beginning of a new week, and there ain’t much going on out there in the world of MMA at the moment. Anderson Silva‘s coaches claim he’ll return to competition, but we’ve already called a ban on that sort of thing. Michael Bisping has fired the latest shot in his ongoing verbal war with Tim Kennedy, but who knows if/when that fight will actually be booked. It’s a whole lot of nothing, in other words. So why not enjoy some of these totally random videos we came across this morning, and start your Monday off with some good vibes?

(A nasty look back at 2013’s under-appreciated knockouts. Props: RyanaWag via MMAFighting)

More after the jump…


(Some New Year’s motivation from Phuket Top Team. Now go out and make something of your lives, you pansies.)

It’s the beginning of a new week, and there ain’t much going on out there in the world of MMA at the moment. Anderson Silva‘s coaches claim he’ll return to competition, but we’ve already called a ban on that sort of thing. Michael Bisping has fired the latest shot in his ongoing verbal war with Tim Kennedy, but who knows if/when that fight will actually be booked. It’s a whole lot of nothing, in other words. So why not enjoy some of these totally random videos we came across this morning, and start your Monday off with some good vibes?


(A nasty look back at 2013′s under-appreciated knockouts. Props: RyanaWag via MMAFighting)

More after the jump…


(Inside MMA’s “WTF of 2013.” Props: AXS TV via MMAFighting)


(Wild badminton brawl at the Canada Open. Action starts at the 0:54 mark. Props: AlwaysBadmintonDotCom via CP reader Alistair M.)


(I’m guessing that Doug Duggart BJJ is a Lloyd Irvin affiliate? Props: Comedy Central via George Shunick)

Knockout of the Day: Fighter Touches Gloves, Kind of Just Stands There, Gets KTFO’d [VIDEO]

(Props: Amatorska Liga MMA via KnockoutFootage)

When an MMA fighter gets KO’d immediately after a glove-tap, it often means that his opponent was being a cheap dick about it. But in the lightning-fast knockout you see above, all blame should lay upon the victim. See, if you’re going to touch gloves before a fight, do it fast and then get out of the way. DON’T lumber forward with your feet flat and your chin out. And after you do your little fist-bump, for the love of God, get your damn hands up or you will be head-kicked into an embarrassing reverse somersault, like this idiot.

If you’ll notice, the guy on the left doesn’t initiate the tap, but he’s courteous enough to oblige when dipshit over there dangles his arm out like an overcooked noodle. Guy On The Left sees an opportunity, and snatches it with a front-leg roundhouse to the face. The impact is loud, and it is awesome. The only disappointing part is that the shirtless guy still looked like he was ready to bang some more. Ah well. Let this be a lesson to the rest of you aspiring fighters: After the ref starts the fight, “Wait, bro, I wasn’t ready” isn’t really a valid excuse.


(Props: Amatorska Liga MMA via KnockoutFootage)

When an MMA fighter gets KO’d immediately after a glove-tap, it often means that his opponent was being a cheap dick about it. But in the lightning-fast knockout you see above, all blame should lay upon the victim. See, if you’re going to touch gloves before a fight, do it fast and then get out of the way. DON’T lumber forward with your feet flat and your chin out. And after you do your little fist-bump, for the love of God, get your damn hands up or you will be head-kicked into an embarrassing reverse somersault, like this idiot.

If you’ll notice, the guy on the left doesn’t initiate the tap, but he’s courteous enough to oblige when dipshit over there dangles his arm out like an overcooked noodle. Guy On The Left sees an opportunity, and snatches it with a front-leg roundhouse to the face. The impact is loud, and it is awesome. The only disappointing part is that the shirtless guy still looked like he was ready to bang some more. Ah well. Let this be a lesson to the rest of you aspiring fighters: After the ref starts the fight, “Wait, bro, I wasn’t ready” isn’t really a valid excuse.

Hilarious Video of the Day: Miley Cyrus at the VMAs, With Commentary by Joe Rogan and Mike Goldberg

(Props: FreeFights4You via Luke Thomas)

Apologies if you saw it already, but this is an absolute classic. “Full back-mount here! Aw, this is nasty. This…this is horrific.”

#dead

Previously: Miley Cyrus Performs at the VMAs, Tries Too Hard, Is Gross


(Props: FreeFights4You via Luke Thomas)

Apologies if you saw it already, but this is an absolute classic. “Full back-mount here! Aw, this is nasty. This…this is horrific.”

#dead

Previously: Miley Cyrus Performs at the VMAs, Tries Too Hard, Is Gross

UFC Man-Cave Guy vs. Diaz Brother Fight-Barn Guy: Who’s More Dangerously Obsessed?

(Props: UFCORIGINALFAN via The UG)

So you think you’re a die-hard MMA fan, just because you buy most of the UFC pay-per-views and because you have a few fruity-ass Georges St. Pierre trading cards in your sock drawer? Let me show you what real obsession is, bro.

A couple of videos came to our attention today, both of them shot by MMA fans whose devotion to cage-fighting has begun to bleed into their surroundings. One is high-budget, one is low-budget, but they’re both — in their own special ways — kind of creepy. (We’ll let you decide which obsessed fan is scarier in the comments section.)

First up, the “Cave of MMAn” featured above, in which a longtime Ultimate Fighting mark shows off what has to be the most elaborate UFC fandom HQ ever built on a private residence. You will see…

– A Star Wars-style text-crawl intro, letting us know that we’re about to enter some serious geek territory.

– A chain-link Octagon, which doubles as an outdoor deck, an Octagon-themed bar (“The Octobar”), and a Octagan-themed coffee table.

– An entry portal that features TapouT decals on glass and a gloved fist punching through the side of the house.

– The phrases “NEVER LEAVE IT IN THE HANDS OF THE JUDGES” and “AS REAL AS IT GETS” stenciled near the ceiling.

– An actual Octagon canvas on the floor, which appears to be the real deal, judging by the visible blood-stains.


(Props: UFCORIGINALFAN via The UG)

So you think you’re a die-hard MMA fan, just because you buy most of the UFC pay-per-views and because you have a few fruity-ass Georges St. Pierre trading cards in your sock drawer? Let me show you what real obsession is, bro.

A couple of videos came to our attention today, both of them shot by MMA fans whose devotion to cage-fighting has begun to bleed into their surroundings. One is high-budget, one is low-budget, but they’re both — in their own special ways — kind of creepy. (We’ll let you decide which obsessed fan is scarier in the comments section.)

First up, the “Cave of MMAn” featured above, in which a longtime Ultimate Fighting mark shows off what has to be the most elaborate UFC fandom HQ ever built on a private residence. You will see…

– A Star Wars-style text-crawl intro, letting us know that we’re about to enter some serious geek territory.

– A chain-link Octagon, which doubles as an outdoor deck, an Octagon-themed bar (“The Octobar”), and a Octagan-themed coffee table.

– An entry portal that features TapouT decals on glass and a gloved fist punching through the side of the house.

– The phrases “NEVER LEAVE IT IN THE HANDS OF THE JUDGES” and “AS REAL AS IT GETS” stenciled near the ceiling.

– An actual Octagon canvas on the floor, which appears to be the real deal, judging by the visible blood-stains.

– UFC action figures — perhaps every one that’s ever been produced — hanging on the walls, along with framed event posters and other assorted memorabilia, much of it autographed.

– A separate corner devoted to Arianny and Brittney, particularly their Playboy appearances.

– A Brian Ebersole fight playing on the TV. Jesus, this guy really is a hardcore fan.

– An end-credits shout out to “Bonnie, for just letting me do my thing.” #adorbz

Now let’s visit contestant #2…


(Props: Terry WARDIAZ Young)

So yeah, this one’s a little more rustic. You can tell that Terry has less resources than MMAn Cave Guy, but his obsession is far more focused. And his Diaz Fight Barn really covers all the bases. It features…

– The phrase “WAR DIAZ” carved into a spray-painted wooden plank.

– A torn-up speed-bag, and a heavy-bag in pretty good shape.

– Some anti-Dana White fan art.

– Every page of every magazine article ever published about each Diaz brother, taped onto the walls. (“That’s how I fucks with them, homey, you know, all day. Got Nate Diaz givin’ Sirone [sic] a shot fuckin’ rieet in the jah, there, oof. Pretty.”)

– A shout-out to LayzieTheSavage.

– A weight-bench set-up. The narrator immediately declares “fuck that thing.”

So, clearly the first guy wins in terms of quantity/quality of his items, and time spent on his obsession. But answer me this — who would you rather sit next to at a WAR MMA show?