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A Note to All Comedians: If You Let Jon Jones Choke You, Don’t Bother Tapping [VIDEO]

Hey, at least he checked on him afterward.

Today’s video comes to us courtesy, as always, of The Opie & Anthony Show, the hosts of which apparently have some sort of sick fetish involving stand up comics being mangled and choked within an inch of their lives. Can’t they just watch good old fashioned porn like the rest of us?

Hey, at least he checked on him afterward.

Anyway, Jon Jones was the most recent guest on the show’s regular lineup of MMA stars, and the poor comedian this time around was Robert Kelly. Perhaps Mr. Kelly made a pass at Jones’ wife beforehand, or perhaps Bones was just having a bad morning, because in either case, it turned out Kelly’s frantic tapping had little bearing on when the UFC Light Heavyweight Champion decided to release the choke, all to the delight of Weenie and the Butt, or whoever the fuck these annoying DJ’s claim to be. We were going to rant about this being a dick move by Jones, but Babalu informed us that the champ was just teaching Kelly some respect, and who are we to disagree?

Jones is set to take on Rashad Evans at UFC 145 in Atlanta on April 21st. As long as he doesn’t get busted for harboring any more criminals, that is.

-J. Jones

‘Skull Blaster’: The Latest in MMA Training Technology? [VIDEO]

(Video via PerformanceMMA)

Twitter is a marvelous tool. Dana White tells fans where to find free tickets, media outlets break stories, and your friends can share the crazy stuff they find on the inter-webs.

Coach Marc Montoya from Factory X in Denver, CO, decided to tie a tennis ball on a headband with an elastic string. Add this to the list of things you can think up while being bored out of your mind watching Haywire. The “Skull Blaster,” as he likes to call it, allows the fighter to work on striking, knees, and if you’re dumb enough to really put some heat on it, head movement. Too bad it won’t teach Chael how to get out of a triangle.

If you decide to try this at home, please send us the video. We wouldn’t want something that embarrassing to go to waste.

(JM)

(Video via PerformanceMMA)

Twitter is a marvelous tool. Dana White tells fans where to find free tickets, media outlets break stories, and your friends can share the crazy stuff they find on the inter-webs.

If you decide to try this at home, please send us the video. We wouldn’t want something that embarrassing to go to waste.

(JM)

Video: Beavis and Butthead Watch ‘The Ultimate Fighter’

(Props: MTV via MMA Mania)

“I think like if you knock someone out on top of that Dave & Buster’s logo, you get like free cheese sticks or something.”

Previously: ‘TUF 10? Episode 2 Recap: Too Pooped to Party

(Props: MTV via MMA Mania)

“I think like if you knock someone out on top of that Dave & Buster’s logo, you get like free cheese sticks or something.”

Previously: ‘TUF 10? Episode 2 Recap: Too Pooped to Party

MMA Video Tribute: Jim Norton’s Nine Most Painful Interviews

As co-host of the Opie & Anthony radio show on SiriusXM, comedian Jim Norton has become the designated punching bag for visiting MMA stars. He’s been choked, he’s been kicked, he’s had his foot twisted 180 degrees by Brock Lesnar. And considering what a sick, depraved bastard Norton is, you have to wonder if he enjoys it on some level. Here’s everything we could collect from Jim Norton’s MMA-related body of work. All videos courtesy of opieradio.

Guest: BJ Penn, 4/14/10
Technique: Armbar
In Jim’s words: “That is fuckin’ horrible…Besides the fact that your arm is ready to be ripped out, it puts pressure on your fuckin’ — it stretches you both ways, I didn’t realize it did that.”

Guest: Randy Couture, 7/19/10
Technique: The rear-naked choke
In Jim’s words: “Wow, that’s effective…There’s nothing you’re gonna do to get out of that, if you’re me.”

Guest: Cain Velasquez, 11/10/10
Technique: Guillotine choke
In Jim’s words: “All you think is, ‘Please! Please stop this!’”

Guests: Fedor Emelianenko and Frank Shamrock, 2/8/11. Special appearance by Tanya.
Techniques: Armlock, guillotine choke, rear-naked choke, arm-triangle choke
Jim to Tanya after being armlocked: “What’s his favorite hold to put on somebody?”
Fedor to Jim, via Tanya: ”Was this one not enough?

Guest: Brock Lesnar, 3/30/11
Techniques: Achilles lock, heel hook
In Jim’s words: “AH, I don’t like the heel hook at all! Do you know how you knew that was gonna suck? Because as he’s explaining it, there’s no pressure being applied, I’m like ‘I don’t like this already’.”

Must See: Jon Jones and Lyoto Machida Meet in the All Valley Karate Tournament Finals

(Props: BushidoAristotle7 via MiddleEasy)

After the way Lyoto Machida finished Randy Couture in his last fight, the Daniel LaRusso references were inevitable. But this UFC 140/Karate Kid mashup is one of the greatest parody videos we’ve seen yet, thanks to all the amazing cameos. (LMAO @ Rashad Evans jumping into Machida’s arms at the 0:20-021 mark.) So, will life imitate YouTube on December 10th? Keep in mind that BushidoArtistotle7 is clearly biased against the champ, judging by the fact that his only other video also ends with Jon Jones getting beat up.

(Props: BushidoAristotle7 via MiddleEasy)

Hey, You Ever Get So Drunk That You Start Kissing Another Dude in Front of Natasha Wicks?

(Props, I guess: Fightlinker on Vimeo)

…because Tom Lawlor and Kyle Kingsbury have. Boy, have they ever. This regrettable booze-fueled moment is the latest example of what I’ve started calling the “Nick Ring Theory” (previously known as the “Seth Petruzelli Theory“): At a certain point, pretending to be gay to get a rise out of people becomes a lifestyle choice in itself. But they seem happy, so who am I to judge?

(Props, I guess: Fightlinker on Vimeo)