You’ve probably heard by now that Kim Jong-il is dead. No, he was not killed by the hands of Hans Blixs and no, the above video is not a collection of clips from the 2002 fake karate film Kung Pow: Enter the Fist. The sad reality is that what you are watching is simply what the former North Korean dictator’s bodyguards went through on a daily basis. Unreleased until a few hours ago (shocking), the footage is…uh…impressive to say the least, but not without that extra bit of crazy thrown in to let you know this is a KJi joint.
According to the narrator, il’s bodyguards are forced to “hit something” from the moment they wake up, whether that be a giant, cement block attached to another guard’s face, or a two-by-four placed on another’s neck. The rest of their day, however, is not that different from what many of us do to make a living here in America:
You’ve probably heard by now that Kim Jong-il is dead. No, he was not killed by the hands of Hans Blixs and no, the above video is not a collection of clips from the 2002 fake karate film Kung Pow: Enter the Fist. The sad reality is that what you are watching is simply what the former North Korean dictator’s bodyguards went through on a daily basis. Unreleased until a few hours ago (shocking), the footage is…uh…impressive to say the least, but not without that extra bit of crazy thrown in to let you know this is a KJi joint.
According to the narrator, il’s bodyguards are forced to “hit something” from the moment they wake up, whether that be a giant, cement block attached to another guard’s face, or a two-by-four placed on another’s neck. The rest of their day, however, is not that different from what many of us do to make a living here in America:
6 a.m. – Dodge knives thrown at you like some kind of circus act
8 a.m. – Break bricks over stomach
10 a.m. – Brunch
10:05 a.m. – 8 hours of various shooting exercises
6 p.m. – PULL A TRUCK FULL OF PEOPLE ACROSS AN EMPTY LOT WITH YOUR BARE HANDS
6:30 p.m. – Purchase oversized sunglasses and khaki pants from passing gypsy woman
7 p.m. – Kill gypsy woman
8 p.m. – 5:55 a.m. – Just beat the ever-loving shit out of one another
5:55 – 6:00 a.m. – Sleep
It may sound bad, but I hear that once a year, il allowed his bodyguards to visit their families, whom had all mysteriously been locked away in dog kennels and sent to opposite corners of the country. So, it’s not like he was a monster or anything.
(I’m just gonna pull this dude’s turd-cutter directly over my neck, brb. / Props: Crooklyn)
Whether you’re drinking Tom Erikson’s sweat or staring into the abyss of Dennis Hallman’s balls, MMA can put its competitors in some rather uncomfortable positions. This horrifying clip comes to us from Legacy Fighting Championship 9 on Friday night, during which Rakim Cleveland accidentally came face-to-face with Derrick Lewis’s bare ass. Not cool, bro. Lewis went on to win the fight by third round TKO.
(I’m just gonna pull this dude’s turd-cutter directly over my neck, brb. / Props: Crooklyn)
Whether you’re drinking Tom Erikson’s sweat or staring into the abyss of Dennis Hallman’s balls, MMA can put its competitors in some rather uncomfortable positions. This horrifying clip comes to us from Legacy Fighting Championship 9 on Friday night, during which Rakim Cleveland accidentally came face-to-face with Derrick Lewis’s bare ass. Not cool, bro. Lewis went on to win the fight by third round TKO.
It’s been an eventful week to say the least. Strikeforce Heavyweights are all but done, Overeem went before the NSAC, and Jon Jones choked Machida out cold. Too bad you didn’t ask us any questions about those things. That would have been cool. You did manage to pull some decent questions out of your asses, however, and we’ll take a few moments to address them now.
EnemyofRealityasks: Dear, dear, Dear, DEAR Cage Potato. How I look forward to your wise words. Do tell me, what would your top 3 list of MMA refs look like?
It would like a lot like any other list, EnemyofReality, only it would have referee names instead of groceries, chores, and people to kill.
We actually covered this subject a couple of years ago, but times change and you’re asking now, so here we go. There are a lot of refs to choose from, but not necessarily a lot of great refs to choose from. If we were climbing into the cage—and we’re starting to warm up to the idea–we’d like to have Herb Dean, Big John McCarthy, or Josh Rosenthal in there to save our ass.
It’s been an eventful week to say the least. Strikeforce Heavyweights are all but done, Overeem went before the NSAC, and Jon Joneschoked Machida out cold. Too bad you didn’t ask us any questions about those things. That would have been cool. You did manage to pull some decent questions out of your asses, however, and we’ll take a few moments to address them now.
EnemyofRealityasks: Dear, dear, Dear, DEAR Cage Potato. How I look forward to your wise words. Do tell me, what would your top 3 list of MMA refs look like?
It would like a lot like any other list, EnemyofReality, only it would have referee names instead of groceries, chores, and people to kill.
We actually covered this subject a couple of years ago, but times change and you’re asking now, so here we go. There are a lot of refs to choose from, but not necessarily a lot of great refs to choose from. If we were climbing into the cage—and we’re starting to warm up to the idea–we’d like to have Herb Dean, Big John McCarthy, or Josh Rosenthal in there to save our ass.
“Nothing to lose” seems to be the popular consensus from our readers. True, we’re still in the dog house with the UFC from the last incident, so from that perspective we wouldn’t be risking much. But we wouldn’t want to jeopardize our good relationship with CagePotato’s reigning “Hottest Women in MMA Grand Prix” champion. Not buying it? Well, we also gave our lawyers the next few months off to celebrate and recover from their hard fought victory, and you know what they say: never leave it in the hands of the judges. It shouldn’t really matter; you only read it for the articles anyway.
@nannerbs Brennan Valenzuela asks: Is it still possible to get the “Chocolate Al’ Shirt?
Nearly 500 people purchased CagePotato’s “Chocolate Al” shirts in the week following their launch. If you were lucky enough to snag one, we have good news: not only will you be sporting an uber-stylish, limited edition piece of MMA folklore on New Year’s Eve, you also helped save the life of Dan Miller’s son. If you missed the boat, you’ll have the rest of your life to regret it. Do yourself a favor and grab one of our exclusive “MMA Hairstyles” shirts while you still have a chance.
@matt_simpson84 Matt Simpson asks: Premature to say Big Nog is done, no? Was destroying Mir on feet. Got caught by BJJ black belt and nearly escaped.
Premature to say that Big Nog is done? Whaaaaaat?????????
Big Nog is thirty five years old, has a history of taking vicious beatings, underwent dual-hip surgery last year, and just got his shoulder destroyed by Frank Mir. Sure, he could take freak show fights in Japan or be used as a gatekeeper in the UFC when he returns from his injury. But do we really want to remember the PRIDE legend for an unspectacular run in the Octagon? He’s had a great career, and we’re fine letting it end with the tough as nails Brazilian refusing to tap.
That’s all for now, folks. Tune in next week as we answer even more of your (hopefully at least kind of) MMA related questions. You know the drill: You can send us questions through our Facebook page. You can tweet them to our Twitter account, as well as hashtag questions with #AskThePotato. You can register for our forums and post your questions there. Or you can just post them in the comments section of this article. And we still check that Google+ page we set up. Not that we want questions from that thing, we just feel like bragging.
(This is what I get for offering them a ticket to The Gun Show.)
Oh, those wacky Brits. It appears that, while touring the UK as part of a MMA seminar tour, former UFC lightweight champion Sean Sherk was accidentally pegged in connection with a well known crime boss (our guess would be Salvatore Riina) when the vehicle he was riding in was stopped at a roadblock.
After a small misunderstanding, machine gun toting bobbies descended upon Sherk and forcefully removed him from the car, which they believed to be loaded with illegal firearms. Fighters Only has the exclusive:
As he was being ferried into the area, the car he was travelling in was stopped by a roadblock and armed police swooped on the vehicle. Police had the vehicle on their database as being linked to a local man who they believe to be a key gangland figure.
Sherk thought the car was being subjected to a routine stop until it turned out to involve several carloads of police officers carrying automatic weapons, including Hechler and Koch MP5 machine guns – the UK police do not normally carry guns.
Having remained sat in his passenger seat because he had not understood an instruction to exit the vehicle, Sherk was dragged out by tense officers. They cuffed his hands behind his back and pulled him away where he was none too gently searched before being dumped on the floor.
(This is what I get for offering them a ticket to The Gun Show.)
Oh, those wacky Brits. It appears that, while touring the UK as part of a MMA seminar tour, former UFC lightweight champion Sean Sherk was accidentally pegged in connection with a well known crime boss (our guess would be Salvatore Riina) when the vehicle he was riding in was stopped at a roadblock.
After a small misunderstanding, machine gun toting bobbies descended upon Sherk and forcefully removed him from the car, which they believed to be loaded with illegal firearms. Fighters Only has the exclusive:
As he was being ferried into the area, the car he was travelling in was stopped by a roadblock and armed police swooped on the vehicle. Police had the vehicle on their database as being linked to a local man who they believe to be a key gangland figure.
Sherk thought the car was being subjected to a routine stop until it turned out to involve several carloads of police officers carrying automatic weapons, including Hechler and Koch MP5 machine guns – the UK police do not normally carry guns.
Having remained sat in his passenger seat because he had not understood an instruction to exit the vehicle, Sherk was dragged out by tense officers. They cuffed his hands behind his back and pulled him away where he was none too gently searched before being dumped on the floor.
After finding no such weaponry in Sherk’s car, “The Muscle Shark” was sent on his way with nothing more than a hell of a foreign relations story to tweet to his army of Xenophobic followers.
The report also states that Sherk took the British blunder in “good spirits” but made note that “despite the widespread ‘village constable’ reputation that UK police have – the officers were much more aggressive and heavy-handed than what he has ever experienced in the US.” Apparently he doesn’t follow the news that closely.
The champ takes plenty of heat for the way he carries himself. Whether you think he’s overly cocky or rightfully confident, you may not have appreciated the way that he dropped Machida to the ground like a sack of rocks. “Bones” has yet to taste defeat in mixed martial arts, which may be why he doesn’t seem to empathize with his fallen foes very well.
While the PPV microphones were cued in to Goldy and Rogan, the online stream gave access to a number of audio and video feeds. As it turns out, in addition to coaching Jones on takedowns and chokes, Greg Jackson is there to remind Jones on proper in-cage etiquette.
Does it make him any less of an incredible fighter? No. Does it make you dislike him a little more? Probably.
The champ takes plenty of heat for the way he carries himself. Whether you think he’s overly cocky or rightfully confident, you may not have appreciated the way that he dropped Machida to the ground like a sack of rocks. “Bones” has yet to taste defeat in mixed martial arts, which may be why he doesn’t seem to empathize with his fallen foes very well.
While the PPV microphones were cued in to Goldy and Rogan, the online stream gave access to a number of audio and video feeds. As it turns out, in addition to coaching Jones on takedowns and chokes, Greg Jackson is there to remind Jones on proper in-cage etiquette.
Does it make him any less of an incredible fighter? No. Does it make you dislike him a little more? Probably.
