(Nick Diaz was right! If you listen close enough, you can hear the ocean!)
Last weekend’s Strikeforce: Tate vs. Rousey event gave us plenty to talk about, a rare feature of a Strikeforce card these days. Ronda Rousey officially became the most successful one trick pony of all time, Ronaldo Souza showed us that he is ever improving in the stand up department, and the Strikeforce matchmakers let Nazi pedophiles worldwide know that they could still earn a shot in the big time through hard work, *cough* rape *cough*, and dedication to your craft.
Nowadays, we all know that cash rules everything around us, so let’s first talk about the recently released salaries from this weekend’s “Tate vs. Rousey” card, as they are surprisingly generous for most parties involved. It’s good to know that all of Frank Shamrock’s hard work has paved the way for this new generation of fighters. Per usual, this list does not include any undisclosed/locker room bonuses or any of that noise.
Ronda Rousey: $32,000 (includes $17,000 win bonus)
Miesha Tate: $19,000
Josh Thomson: $80,000 (no win bonus)
K.J. Noons: $38,000
Kazuo Misaki: $50,000 (no win bonus)
Paul Daley: $45,000
Lumumba Sayers: $10,000 (includes $5,000 win bonus)
Scott Smith: $65,000
Ronaldo Souza: $92,000 (includes $22,000 win bonus)
Bristol Marunde: $10,000
Sarah Kaufman: $25,000 (includes $10,000 win bonus)
Alexis Davis: $4,000
Roger Bowling: $16,000 (includes $8,000 win bonus)
Brandon Saling: $5,000
Pat Healy: $22,500 (includes $5,000 win bonus)
Caros Fodor: $12,000
Ryan Couture: $10,000 (no win bonus)
Conor Heun: $8,000
Overpaid: I don’t know who Josh Thompson’s agent is, but I’m pretty sure I want him to represent me in the brutal divorce that will inevitably sidetrack my yet to be determined future. Sure, he’s the former lightweight champion, but 80 grand? That’s more than their last event cleared in ticket sales for Christ’s sake. I’d say that Scott Smith was overpaid, but that money was more than likely severance pay, so I’ll back off.
Underpaid: How about the former women’s bantamweight champion, for starters?Nineteen thousand dollars for a headliner is ridiculous, no matter how you slice it. Meisha helped sell the shit out of that fight, and will barely be able to pay for the ensuing months of physical therapy with that measly payday. Also, poor Brandon Sailing. Taking home only five thousand dollars for his second round TKO loss to Roger Bowling, he won’t be able to afford that Adolf Hitler ski sweater he always wanted. That will buy a LOT of meth though.
Speaking of Meisha Tate’s mangled arm, check out the full list of medical suspensions from “Tate vs. Rousey” below. Somehow, Tate was able to walk away without a broken arm on Saturday, but was suspended indefinitely by doctors with a case of “Punctured Stretch Armstrong Elbow.” The rest of the suspensions were less hilarious in nature.
– Miesha Tate suspended indefinitely until cleared by orthopedist for left arm injury
– Kazuo Misaki suspended 45 days for stitches
– Ronaldo ‘Jacare’ Souza suspended indefinitely for medical clearance on his hand
– Sarah Kaufman suspended 30 days for a rest period
– Alexis Davis suspended 30 days for stitches
– Roger Bowling suspended indefinitely until clearance for hand injury
– Brandon Saling suspended 30 days for TKO
– Pat Healy suspended 30 days for stitches
– Conor Heun suspended 30 days for TKO loss, also suspended indefinitely for medical clearance on hand and stitches
We’re not quite sure as to the extent of former Strikeforce middleweight champion Ronaldo “Jacare” Souza’s hand injury, but will keep you updated as we are made aware.
-J. Jones
