Tag: Insanity

WTF?! of the Day: Bigfoot Silva Attempting Cut to LHW to Fight “Mentally Sick” Thiago Silva


(“God, I could so go for an eclair right now-NO! FIGHT IT, BIGFOOT! PUNCH THE HUNGER AWAY.”) 

We know, we know, not a goddamn word in that title makes sense.

Let’s run a hypothetical scenario by you: You’re a 6’4”, 285-pound, acromegalic UFC fighter. Your head is the size of a Ronco Showtime Rotisserie & BBQ and your fists were the models upon which Hulk Hands were molded. Being that you’re Brazilian, you also have an eternal blood feud with another UFC-employed fighter/camp that can be traced back to ancient blood drawings on the Pico da Neblina.

So your enemy of all enemies finally gets back from his most recent suspension and picks up an impressive win inside the octagon. You could use a nice win yourself, being that you were just knocked out by your division’s champion for the second time (in a year) in your last fight. However, the 70 pound weight advantage you hold over your foe all but rules that option out. Do you a) Needle the shit out of the guy until he agrees to fight you at a catchweight or b) Try and settle things on the streets — no gloves, no rules, ala Rocky V.

Well, if you’re Antonio Silva, the answer is c) attempt a suicidal weight cut to get to that sonofabitch, who in this case is light heavyweight Thiago Silva (via FightersOnly):

I personally will attend the doctors to see if I am able to lose weight without spoiling my health. If can do it, I will drop weight to make this fight for sure. All I want to do is just fight him because words won’t make him change.


(“God, I could so go for an eclair right now-NO! FIGHT IT, BIGFOOT! PUNCH THE HUNGER AWAY.”) 

We know, we know, not a goddamn word in that title makes sense.

Let’s run a hypothetical scenario by you: You’re a 6’4”, 285-pound, acromegalic UFC fighter. Your head is the size of a Ronco Showtime Rotisserie & BBQ and your fists were the models upon which Hulk Hands were molded. Being that you’re Brazilian, you also have an eternal blood feud with another UFC-employed fighter/camp that can be traced back to ancient blood drawings on the Pico da Neblina.

So your enemy of all enemies finally gets back from his most recent suspension and picks up an impressive win inside the octagon. You could use a nice win yourself, being that you were just knocked out by your division’s champion for the second time (in a year) in your last fight. However, the 70 pound weight advantage you hold over your foe all but rules that option out. Do you a) Needle the shit out of the guy until he agrees to fight you at a catchweight or b) Try and settle things on the streets — no gloves, no rules, ala Rocky V.

Well, if you’re Antonio Silva, the answer is c) attempt a suicidal weight cut to get to that sonofabitch, who in this case is light heavyweight Thiago Silva (via FightersOnly):

I personally will attend the doctors to see if I am able to lose weight without spoiling my health. If can do it, I will drop weight to make this fight for sure. All I want to do is just fight him because words won’t make him change.

And why exactly does Bigfoot want a piece of Thiago Silva so bad he can taste it (and it tastes a lot like rice cakes)? The answer is simple: Thiago Silva broke his heart.

I had so much respect and consideration for him at one time. Besides being a good training partner, I had him as a friend. When he had a problem at ATT, I was the only one who was on his side until the end. 

I used to visit his house and he did mine, I was something of a brother to him and he simply stabbed me in the back and cheated me. He said I’m upset because he left ATT, but he knows its not because of that why I’m mad.

He’s mentally sick, we’re completely different people. I am a family guy. I respect my father, mother, wife, I treat my friends well, without pulling their legs, and I don’t take drugs.

While that last statement is certainly up for debate, we’d just like to meet the doctor who deems it’s safe for Silva to drop the equivalent of a baby Percheron to settle a grudge. If Cris Cyborg is medically unfit to cut from 145 to 135, and “Bigfoot” already cuts some 20 pounds just to make the heavyweight limit, he better hope the on-duty doctor is Hector Molina or his revenge fantasy will be dead in the water before it can even set sail.

How is Silva taking all this, you ask? Like a true gamesman, he combined a little bit of option A and B.

Tell that big fool to come over here then we will see what’s what. For me it’s OK but, he talks a lot that guy, he is stupid. I don’t like him at all. Anytime he wants, man, especially if its for money! We can even do it for free, let’s go.

I would fight him whenever he wants. I trained with Bigfoot for three years. Ask him what he ever did to me. He was beaten like a little dog.

–J. Jones

[VIDEO] Freakshow Fights of The Day – KSW 23 Edition


(Looks like he is training hard for…oh god that was awful. I’ll show myself out now. -SF)

Alright, so we’re being dicks in calling these fights “freakshows,” yes. Only one of them included a former World’s Strongest Man champion swinging his ham hocks around wildly, after all – the other had a legit top Polish prospect against a very good kick boxer – and both of them included guys with the guts to glove up and man-up.

Still, there’s something wonderfully faux-epic/Euro-trashy about KSW shows and Maruiusz Pudzianowski both so we’re going with “freak show.” Not that you shouldn’t watch the videos after the jump – you totally should.

UFC veteran and certified internet troll nut bag Sean McCorkle appears to wilt under Pudzi’s initial strong-man onslaught before getting on top and finishing with a Kimura shoulder lock.

For a few moments in the bout between Mamed Khalidov and Melvin Manoef, the two tried kicking the crap out of each other. Then, Mamed thought better of exchanging with the K-1 veteran and promptly guillotine choked Melly-Mel.

Check out both vids after the jump. Don’t pretend you have something better to do.


(Looks like he is training hard for…oh god that was awful. I’ll show myself out now. -SF)

Alright, so we’re being dicks in calling these fights “freakshows,” yes. Only one of them included a former World’s Strongest Man champion swinging his ham hocks around wildly, after all – the other had a legit top Polish prospect against a very good kick boxer – and both of them included guys with the guts to glove up and man-up.

Still, there’s something wonderfully faux-epic/Euro-trashy about KSW shows and Maruiusz Pudzianowski both so we’re going with “freak show.” Not that you shouldn’t watch the videos after the jump – you totally should.

UFC veteran and certified internet troll nut bag Sean McCorkle appears to wilt under Pudzi’s initial strong-man onslaught before getting on top and finishing with a Kimura shoulder lock.

For a few moments in the bout between Mamed Khalidov and Melvin Manoef, the two tried kicking the crap out of each other. Then, Mamed thought better of exchanging with the K-1 veteran and promptly guillotine choked Melly-Mel.

Check out both vids after the jump. Don’t pretend you have something better to do.

Mariusz Pudzianowski vs. Sean McCorkle:

Sean McCorkle vs. Mariusz Pudzianowski: KSW 23 by MMA4ALL

Mamed Khalidov vs. Melvin Manoef

Khalidov.vs.Manhoef by _gosc_

– Elias Cepeda

Ranking the 10 11 Most Insane Tweets From War Machine’s Latest Hate-Fueled Twitter Tirade


(Blatantly contradicting yourself in less than 150 characters? Dear lord, how we’ve missed this man.) 

It seems like it’s been an eternity since we’ve checked in with our buddy War Machine, peddler of all things conspiracy and sexer of all things bologna. After a nasty ACL tear and a couple rough stints in the clink, the mixed martial artist formerly known as Prison Mike John Koppenhaver is finally set to make his Bellator debut on June 19th at Bellator 96. Perhaps to boost some awareness of his return, or perhaps because he is crazier than a shithouse rat, Machine has once again taken aim at one of his enemies using the power of the Internet. No, not President Obama, we’re talking about tightwad MMA sponsors, obviously.

In any case, Machine has been tweeting up a storm as of late, and his tweets contain the usual mix of hilarious ignorance and self sabotage that we have come to expect from the porn world’s most notorious bad boy. We’ve compiled our top 10 favorites (via @WarMachine170) for your viewing pleasure below. Welcome back, old friend.

10. A WAR MMA Main Event in the Making


(Blatantly contradicting yourself in less than 150 characters? Dear lord, how we’ve missed this man.) 

It seems like it’s been an eternity since we’ve checked in with our buddy War Machine, peddler of all things conspiracy and sexer of all things bologna. After a nasty ACL tear and a couple rough stints in the clink, the mixed martial artist formerly known as Prison Mike John Koppenhaver is finally set to make his Bellator debut on June 19th at Bellator 96. Perhaps to boost some awareness of his return, or perhaps because he is crazier than a shithouse rat, Machine has once again taken aim at one of his enemies using the power of the Internet. No, not President Obama, we’re talking about tightwad MMA sponsors, obviously.

In any case, Machine has been tweeting up a storm as of late, and his tweets contain the usual mix of hilarious ignorance and self sabotage that we have come to expect from the porn world’s most notorious bad boy. We’ve compiled our top 10 favorites (via @WarMachine170) for your viewing pleasure below. Welcome back, old friend.

10. A WAR MMA Main Event in the Making

9. Modesty at its Finest

8. Just in Case You Didn’t Read #9

7, 6, 5, 4, and 3. War Machine: Future Fighter’s Union Rep


2. SMH

1. One Can Only Hope

And hot off the press…

May the Wunderbar Gods smile upon you on this day, you crazy son of a bitch. For your sake, we just hope that Evan Tanner does not have an in with those Gods.

–J. Jones

CagePotato Ban: Anything to Do With the Bickering Between Jenna Jameson and Tito Ortiz


(Nope. Nothing to see here. Everyone just move along. Photo via Iamflashdance.) 

If following loosely MMA-related minor celebrities on Twitter is your thing, there’s a chance that you have already seen Jenna Jameson‘s latest tirade against Tito Ortiz last night. That’s right, the couple known for their crazy, attention-seeking behavior decided to air their dirty laundry on Twitter, and it was just as outrageous and pathetic as you’d expect it to be.

There’s no way I’m covering every tweet from this disaster, so here’s the short version: Jenna accused Tito of taking her children, cheating his drug tests with the UFC and almost killing her in February. As “proof” that Tito Ortiz is a raging drug addict, Jenna tweeted a picture of a drawer that she claimed belonged to Ortiz — which contained a few syringes and a bottle of Ibuprofen — and a picture of the Diet Cokes in her fridge with some prescription bottles above them. Tito responded to MMAJunkie.com by essentially saying “think of the goddamn children” before blaming her for all those losses at the end of his career.

Of course I’m not joking about that last statement. Tito Ortiz said that Jenna Jameson’s erratic behavior distracted him before the fights he lost at the end of his career; presumably because even he has finally realized how pathetic of an excuse “I totally had a cracked skull, you guys” is.

This may be more of a precautionary measure than anything else — who knows if Jenna Jameson will actually come forward with a story about Tito Ortiz almost killing her — but it’s right about now that I think we need to revisit a defunct CagePotato Ban from the days when Ortiz was a free agent claiming to be “very close” to signing with a new promotion every other day:


(Nope. Nothing to see here. Everyone just move along. Photo via Iamflashdance.) 

If following loosely MMA-related minor celebrities on Twitter is your thing, there’s a chance that you have already seen Jenna Jameson‘s latest tirade against Tito Ortiz last night. That’s right, the couple known for their crazy, attention-seeking behavior decided to air their dirty laundry on Twitter, and it was just as outrageous and pathetic as you’d expect it to be.

There’s no way I’m covering every tweet from this disaster, so here’s the short version: Jenna accused Tito of taking her children, cheating his drug tests with the UFC and almost killing her in February. As “proof” that Tito Ortiz is a raging drug addict, Jenna tweeted a picture of a drawer that she claimed belonged to Ortiz — which contained a few syringes and a bottle of Ibuprofen — and a picture of the Diet Cokes in her fridge with some prescription bottles above them. Tito responded to MMAJunkie.com by essentially saying “think of the goddamn children” before blaming her for all those losses at the end of his career.

Of course I’m not joking about that last statement. Tito Ortiz said that Jenna Jameson’s erratic behavior distracted him before the fights he lost at the end of his career; presumably because even he has finally realized how pathetic of an excuse “I totally had a cracked skull, you guys” is.

This may be more of a precautionary measure than anything else — who knows if Jenna Jameson will actually come forward with a story about Tito Ortiz almost killing her — but it’s right about now that I think we need to revisit a defunct CagePotato Ban from the days when Ortiz was a free agent claiming to be “very close” to signing with a new promotion every other day:

Well, that settles that. Tito, you have fooled us for the last time. Just as E! banned Speidi, CagePotato will now enact a news ban on Tito Ortiz until he actually does something newsworthy. Seriously. Even if it’s the slowest of slow news days, and the only story going around is that Tito is “very close” to signing a deal with DREAM to participate in their “Super Douchebag Tournament,” we won’t cover it until it actually happens. That’s our promise to you.

Except this time, we’ll strictly bring it back for the Tito vs. Jenna feud. As a UFC Hall of Famer and Cris Cyborg’s manager, Ortiz doesn’t deserve to be banned from this site. But unless one of them either gets arrested or brings the other to court, we’ll leave their tabloid relationship drama to the experts on that sort of thing.

@SethFalvo

Absurd Quote of the Day: Rashad Evans Is Aiming for 50 Takedowns Against Dan Henderson at UFC 161

(Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

“I know what I want to do to get the results that I want to get: Trust in myself and get it done. Takedown, ground and pound, roll up our sleeves and get dirty and go to work. I’m gonna try to get 50 takedowns this fight. 50…Let’s not confuse this whole situation. I’m not going to go in there and stand in front of him and try to bang it out and hope to God I don’t get hit with that big right hand. I’m going to be smart. He’s gonna want to knock me out. It’s not gonna happen. He’s not knocking me out.” — Rashad Evans

Let’s put this into context for those of you who weren’t paying attention last weekend. At UFC 160, Khabib Nurmagomedov set a UFC record for takedowns — in a three- or five-round fight — when he dragged Abel Trujillo to the mat 21 times. Evans plans to more than double that mark when he faces Dan Henderson in the three-round main event of UFC 161.

This would be like A-Rod guaranteeing 150 home-runs this season. The difference is, home-runs are exciting. Evans’s vow to shoot, shoot, and keep shooting rather than mess around with a slugfest may be wise from a strategic standpoint, but it suggests the kind of gameplan that might not be so much fun to see in action.

Our prediction: Rashad tries for 50 takedowns, converts about three or four of them, and spends at least two-thirds of the fight struggling with Hendo against the fence. Apologies in advance, Winnipeg.


(Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

“I know what I want to do to get the results that I want to get: Trust in myself and get it done. Takedown, ground and pound, roll up our sleeves and get dirty and go to work. I’m gonna try to get 50 takedowns this fight. 50…Let’s not confuse this whole situation. I’m not going to go in there and stand in front of him and try to bang it out and hope to God I don’t get hit with that big right hand. I’m going to be smart. He’s gonna want to knock me out. It’s not gonna happen. He’s not knocking me out.” — Rashad Evans

Let’s put this into context for those of you who weren’t paying attention last weekend. At UFC 160, Khabib Nurmagomedov set a UFC record for takedowns — in a three- or five-round fight — when he dragged Abel Trujillo to the mat 21 times. Evans plans to more than double that mark when he faces Dan Henderson in the three-round main event of UFC 161.

This would be like A-Rod guaranteeing 150 home-runs this season. The difference is, home-runs are exciting. Evans’s vow to shoot, shoot, and keep shooting rather than mess around with a slugfest may be wise from a strategic standpoint, but it suggests the kind of gameplan that might not be so much fun to see in action.

Our prediction: Rashad tries for 50 takedowns, converts about three or four of them, and spends at least two-thirds of the fight struggling with Hendo against the fence. Apologies in advance, Winnipeg.

So We’re Serious About this War MMA Thing, Huh? Main Event of War MMA 1 Confirmed


(Screen capture of the War MMA website, NickDiazPromotions.com.)

If you assumed that War MMA would never get past the planning stages, then do I have a surprise for you: It looks like Nick Diaz got that temporary promoter’s license, because War MMA 1 is officially set for June 22 from the Stockton Arena and the main card appears set for the inaugural event.

Hell, tickets even went on sale, with ringside (yes, as in a ring not a cage) seats still available as of writing this!

Unsurprisingly, the main event will feature a Team Cesar Gracie fighter – UFC veteran Daniel Roberts (14-4, 3-4 UFC) – fighting against the most formidable local opponent the promotion can find. Via NickDiazPromotions.com:


(Screen capture of the War MMA website, NickDiazPromotions.com.)

If you assumed that War MMA would never get past the planning stages, then do I have a surprise for you: It looks like Nick Diaz got that temporary promoter’s license, because War MMA 1 is officially set for June 22 from the Stockton Arena and the main card appears set for the inaugural event.

Hell, tickets even went on sale, with ringside (yes, as in a ring not a cage) seats still available as of writing this!

Unsurprisingly, the main event will feature a Team Cesar Gracie fighter – UFC veteran Daniel Roberts (14-4, 3-4 UFC) – fighting against the most formidable local opponent the promotion can find. Via NickDiazPromotions.com:

Fighting out of San Francisco, Daniel Roberts is set to face challenger Justin Baesman from the East Bay of California. Roberts has had numerous bouts in the UFC and trains with the Cesar Gracie Fight Team. Baesman now with a 12-4 record, has looked good as of late and a win over Roberts would catapult him to the next level of his career.

As for the rest of the main card, there are a few names you may recognize:

Main Card:
Daniel Roberts vs. Justin Baesman
Antonio Banuelos vs. Benny Vinson
Caleb Mitchell vs. Evan Esguerra
Mike Persons vs. Clayton McKinney
Darin Cooley vs. Cody Gibson
Roy Boughton vs. Liron Wilson
Chris Quitiquit vs. Dominic Clark

There haven’t been any announced bouts for the undercard, so if you’re holding out on hope that there will be a gloriously preventable screw-up somewhere in the planning of this event, it may come here. But as for now, things appear to be running very smoothly, despite all of us expecting the contrary.

So now the only question that remains is, do you plan on watching War MMA’s inaugural event in a few weeks?

@SethFalvo