Tag: Insanity

Video of the Day: Ronda Rousey Trains Like A Boss

If you’re anything like us, then your obsession with the gorgeous and deadly Ronda Rousey has grown greater with each passing day. You’ve likely written no less than twenty Shakespearean sonnets declaring your love for the woman, and though you won’t admit it, in the back of your mind you know that this obsession is destined to end with a restraining order and a harai goshi to boot.

The video, taken from one of Ms. Rousey’s recent training sessions, demonstrates a couple of the “impact conditioning” exercises the Olympic Judoka goes through on a daily basis. Now that she’s been rallying for a match against Strikeforce women’s featherweight champion Christiane “Cyborg” Santos, we imagine the purpose of this drill is to prevent our girl from immediately BM’ing after eating one of the champ’s ruthless body shots. Good luck, Ronda, because being in the same room as Cyborg is enough to make us try out our best Tim Sylvia impression. <— WE WILL NEVER STOP MAKING THIS JOKE.

If you’re anything like us, then your obsession with the gorgeous and deadly Ronda Rousey has grown greater with each passing day. You’ve likely written no less than twenty Shakespearean sonnets declaring your love for the woman, and though you won’t admit it, in the back of your mind you know that this obsession is destined to end with a restraining order and a harai goshi to boot.

The video, taken from one of Ms. Rousey’s recent training sessions, demonstrates a couple of the “impact conditioning” exercises the Olympic Judoka goes through on a daily basis. Now that she’s been rallying for a match against Strikeforce women’s featherweight champion Christiane “Cyborg” Santos, we imagine the purpose of this drill is to prevent our girl from immediately BM’ing after eating one of the champ’s ruthless body shots. Good luck, Ronda, because being in the same room as Cyborg is enough to make us try out our best Tim Sylvia impression. <— WE WILL NEVER STOP MAKING THIS JOKE.

By the way, you remember that video we posted of Ronda practicing a little judo with Karo Parisyan, right? Well, check out this blurb from a recent interview with Karo, in which he hands her one of the most confusing compliments we’ve ever read:

Ronda is a kid that trained with us for many years at Team Hayastan. The reason why Ronda is so good, is because Ronda was a cute little girl – she’s not little no more – but she was a cute little girl that trained with guys like us. She wasn’t training with other girls. Other girls she would beat up, so she would train with us. She would cry. I would yell at her, ‘Suck your lip up! I don’t want you crying!’ She would suck her lip up and continue on. She would cry so much during practice because we would push her. That’s why she became an animal in the cage and on the mat… She’s a strong girl. She’s really strong mentally.

Smooth, Karo. The ladies must melt in your hands like butter.

-Danga 

Houston Alexander catches son Talking Dirty, Challenges him to Boxing Match, gets Arrested


“Back up, homie: What the hell is ‘Face Book’?”

As MMA fans, we’ve seen our fair share of “WTF” moments. From freak show fights to flashy knockouts to Jon Fitch partying like a rockstar to freaking Jose Canseco, you would think that we’ve seen it all and nothing could surprise us. Yet sometimes a story comes along that is so bizarre that even we are unable to make sense of it.

Houston Alexander returned to the spotlight this weekend. When we last checked in on the former UFC light heavyweight, he was getting his lights turned out by ex-hockey enforcer Steve Bosse. If you thought that was as low as things could get for Alexander, then prepare to flabbergasted.

Here is the latest update on Alexander, courtesy of KMTV News Omaha, via MiddleEasy:


“Back up, homie: What the hell is ‘Face Book’?”

As MMA fans, we’ve seen our fair share of “WTF” moments. From freak show fights to flashy knockouts to Jon Fitch partying like a rockstar to freaking Jose Canseco, you would think that we’ve seen it all and nothing could surprise us. Yet sometimes a story comes along that is so bizarre that even we are unable to make sense of it.    

Houston Alexander returned to the spotlight this weekend. When we last checked in on the former UFC light heavyweight, he was getting his lights turned out by ex-hockey enforcer Steve Bosse. If you thought that was as low as things could get for Alexander, then prepare to flabbergasted.

Here is the latest update on Alexander, courtesy of KMTV News Omaha, via MiddleEasy:

Police ticketed popular MMA fighter Houston Alexander for child abuse after the 39-year-old became upset with his 16-year-old and made him box with him.

Police reports say officers were called to a home near 44th and Maple for a domestic disturbance. The older Alexander told them he was having trouble with his teen son, who was “having explicit sexual contact on Facebook with some unknown females.” The 16-year-old reportedly lied and “made him very upset.”

According to police reports, “Alexander then retrieved boxing gloves and told his son, ‘If you are going to lie to me, then we are going to box.’” The two reportedly boxed in the basement. Officers describe the teen as having a “slight bloody nose and pain to his right side.”

Alexander was cited for misdemeanor [sic] child abuse.

In other words, “The Assassin” caught his son talking dirty to some lady friends on Facebook. When his son lied about it, Houston Alexander challenged him to fight on the spot. After the impromptu boxing match, police arrested Houston for child abuse.

We may be hack journalists, but even we have our limits. If there’s two things we don’t joke about at Cage Potato, it’s child abuse and surprise vans– so we’ll decline to comment on this any further. You guys in the comments section, on the other hand….

This May Be The Greatest Thief Getting Squashed Story Yet

Tisk, tisk, tisk. Apparently word travels fast, because it seems we cannot go more then a couple days here at CagePotato without hearing another tale of some Charles Bronson-esque vigilante justice. Today’s story takes us to Hendersonville, North Carolina, where avid MMA fan and pawn shop clerk Darren “Rocky” Mothershead (?) found himself on the wrong end of a Friday night robbery attempt and decided to solve things the good old fashioned way, with his fists.

And we mean “attempt” in the lightest sense of the word, because as “Rocky” was handing over the day’s take to the gun-toting thief (a gun which later turned out to be of the pellet variety), he went all Jason Statham on the SOB and delivered a BRUTAL left hand that KO’d the dirty rapscallion instantly.

If the fact that this was all caught on tape wasn’t awesome enough, Mothershead then forced the burglar to CLEAN UP HIS OWN BLOOD off the carpet as they waited for the police to arrive. These are the actions of a boss, ladies and gentlemen. The thief was later identified as Mostafa Kamel Hendi, so if anyone out there knows this guy, send us his address so we can in turn send him a crushed ice pack and our condolences for failing at every turn in his life thus far.

Tisk, tisk, tisk. Apparently word travels fast, because it seems we cannot go more then a couple days here at CagePotato without hearing another tale of some Charles Bronson-esque vigilante justice. Today’s story takes us to Hendersonville, North Carolina, where avid MMA fan and pawn shop clerk Darren “Rocky” Mothershead (?) found himself on the wrong end of a Friday night robbery attempt and decided to solve things the good old fashioned way, with his fists.

And we mean “attempt” in the lightest sense of the word, because as “Rocky” was handing over the day’s take to the gun-toting thief (a gun which later turned out to be of the pellet variety), he went all Jason Statham on the SOB and delivered a BRUTAL left hand that KO’d the dirty rapscallion instantly.

If the fact that this was all caught on tape wasn’t awesome enough, Mothershead then forced the burglar to CLEAN UP HIS OWN BLOOD off the carpet as they waited for the police to arrive. These are the actions of a boss, ladies and gentlemen. The thief was later identified as Mostafa Kamel Hendi, so if anyone out there knows this guy, send us his address so we can in turn send him a crushed ice pack and our condolences for failing at every turn in his life thus far.

It is clear that Hendersonville gets its name from you know who, because all of its residents seemingly posses H-bomb technology and aren’t afraid to use it, especially when it comes to foreigners. I know, I know, that photo makes me giggle like a little schoolgirl, too.

And to think that all of this could have been avoided if Hendi was an avid CP reader. But knowing today’s society, it will only be a matter of time until he sues Mothershead for using excessive force to thwart his robbery attempt. Hell, he’ll probably win.

-Danga 

Must See Video: Kim Jong-il’s Bodyguards Had One F*cked Up Training Regimen

You’ve probably heard by now that Kim Jong-il is dead. No, he was not killed by the hands of Hans Blixs and no, the above video is not a collection of clips from the 2002 fake karate film Kung Pow: Enter the Fist. The sad reality is that what you are watching is simply what the former North Korean dictator’s bodyguards went through on a daily basis. Unreleased until a few hours ago (shocking), the footage is…uh…impressive to say the least, but not without that extra bit of crazy thrown in to let you know this is a KJi joint.

According to the narrator, il’s bodyguards are forced to “hit something” from the moment they wake up, whether that be a giant, cement block attached to another guard’s face, or a two-by-four placed on another’s neck. The rest of their day, however, is not that different from what many of us do to make a living here in America:

You’ve probably heard by now that Kim Jong-il is dead. No, he was not killed by the hands of Hans Blixs and no, the above video is not a collection of clips from the 2002 fake karate film Kung Pow: Enter the Fist. The sad reality is that what you are watching is simply what the former North Korean dictator’s bodyguards went through on a daily basis. Unreleased until a few hours ago (shocking), the footage is…uh…impressive to say the least, but not without that extra bit of crazy thrown in to let you know this is a KJi joint.

According to the narrator, il’s bodyguards are forced to “hit something” from the moment they wake up, whether that be a giant, cement block attached to another guard’s face, or a two-by-four placed on another’s neck. The rest of their day, however, is not that different from what many of us do to make a living here in America:

6 a.m. – Dodge knives thrown at you like some kind of circus act

8 a.m. – Break bricks over stomach

10 a.m. – Brunch

10:05 a.m. – 8 hours of various shooting exercises

6 p.m. – PULL A TRUCK FULL OF PEOPLE ACROSS AN EMPTY LOT WITH YOUR BARE HANDS

6:30 p.m. – Purchase oversized sunglasses and khaki pants from passing gypsy woman

7 p.m. – Kill gypsy woman

8 p.m. – 5:55 a.m. – Just beat the ever-loving shit out of one another

5:55 – 6:00 a.m. – Sleep

It may sound bad, but I hear that once a year, il allowed his bodyguards to visit their families, whom had all mysteriously been locked away in dog kennels and sent to opposite corners of the country. So, it’s not like he was a monster or anything.

-Danga 

Flashy Knockout of the Weekend: Capoeira is Alive and Well

(Video: YouTube/Trailerstraduzidos)

It may not have been one of the weekend’s fastest knockouts, but I’ll be damned if it isn’t the fanciest. Cairo Rocha took on Fracisco Neves Friday night on the Brazilian Fighting Championship’s “Desafio dos Imortais” card. We don’t know what transpired in the two minutes, twenty five seconds leading up to this strike, but if it’s anything like that kick we’d like to see it.

Capoeira, it’s the new missionary.

Previously: Must-See: Insane Capoeira Knockout

 (Video: YouTube/Trailerstraduzidos)

It may not have been one of the weekend’s fastest knockouts, but I’ll be damned if it isn’t the fanciest. Cairo Rocha took on Fracisco Neves Friday night on the Brazilian Fighting Championship’s “Desafio dos Imortais” card. We don’t know what transpired in the two minutes, twenty five seconds leading up to this strike, but if it’s anything like that kick we’d like to see it.

Capoeira, it’s the new missionary.

Previously:  Must-See: Insane Capoeira Knockout

WTF?! of the Day: Sean Sherk Mistaken for Crime Warlord, Temporarily Detained in UK


(This is what I get for offering them a ticket to The Gun Show.) 

Oh, those wacky Brits. It appears that, while touring the UK as part of a MMA seminar tour, former UFC lightweight champion Sean Sherk was accidentally pegged in connection with a well known crime boss (our guess would be Salvatore Riina) when the vehicle he was riding in was stopped at a roadblock.

After a small misunderstanding, machine gun toting bobbies descended upon Sherk and forcefully removed him from the car, which they believed to be loaded with illegal firearms. Fighters Only has the exclusive:

As he was being ferried into the area, the car he was travelling in was stopped by a roadblock and armed police swooped on the vehicle. Police had the vehicle on their database as being linked to a local man who they believe to be a key gangland figure. 

Sherk thought the car was being subjected to a routine stop until it turned out to involve several carloads of police officers carrying automatic weapons, including Hechler and Koch MP5 machine guns – the UK police do not normally carry guns. 

Having remained sat in his passenger seat because he had not understood an instruction to exit the vehicle, Sherk was dragged out by tense officers. They cuffed his hands behind his back and pulled him away where he was none too gently searched before being dumped on the floor.


(This is what I get for offering them a ticket to The Gun Show.) 

Oh, those wacky Brits. It appears that, while touring the UK as part of a MMA seminar tour, former UFC lightweight champion Sean Sherk was accidentally pegged in connection with a well known crime boss (our guess would be Salvatore Riina) when the vehicle he was riding in was stopped at a roadblock.

After a small misunderstanding, machine gun toting bobbies descended upon Sherk and forcefully removed him from the car, which they believed to be loaded with illegal firearms. Fighters Only has the exclusive:

As he was being ferried into the area, the car he was travelling in was stopped by a roadblock and armed police swooped on the vehicle. Police had the vehicle on their database as being linked to a local man who they believe to be a key gangland figure. 

Sherk thought the car was being subjected to a routine stop until it turned out to involve several carloads of police officers carrying automatic weapons, including Hechler and Koch MP5 machine guns – the UK police do not normally carry guns. 

Having remained sat in his passenger seat because he had not understood an instruction to exit the vehicle, Sherk was dragged out by tense officers. They cuffed his hands behind his back and pulled him away where he was none too gently searched before being dumped on the floor.

After finding no such weaponry in Sherk’s car, “The Muscle Shark” was sent on his way with nothing more than a hell of a foreign relations story to tweet to his army of Xenophobic followers.

The report also states that Sherk took the British blunder in “good spirits” but made note that “despite the widespread ‘village constable’ reputation that UK police have – the officers were much more aggressive and heavy-handed than what he has ever experienced in the US.” Apparently he doesn’t follow the news that closely.

-Danga