(Joanna Champion: The simultaneously most adorable and terrifying woman on the planet, next to Alice from Workaholics.)
Jessica Penne is tough as nails, y’all. Unfortunately for her, Joanna Jedrzejczyk has a bowl of nails for breakfast every morning…without any milk. To describe the women’s strawweight champion as “on point” in her main event scrap over the weekend would be borderline disrespectful — Joanna Champy was Chuck Liddell-esque in her tactical destruction of Penne (Joe), putting the TUF 20 alum’s face through the meat grinder over the course of a third round TKO victory.
While it was evident that Penne was outclassed on the feet from the start and unable to get the fight to the mat thereafter, a credit is due to her for taking everything Jedrzejczyk had to offer and not once backing down. We are often quick to praise a fighter’s heart in scenario’s like the one Penne found herself in, but very rarely do we see someone taking a lickin’ and keep on tickin’ like that. It’s not the highest praise, I know, but Penne will be a staple of this division for a while and have plenty more chances to improve and impress.
Check out Champy’s post-fight interview with Dan Hardy above, then join us after the jump for highlights and a complete list of results from Fight Night 69.
(Joanna Champion: The simultaneously most adorable and terrifying woman on the planet, next to Alice from Workaholics.)
Jessica Penne is tough as nails, y’all. Unfortunately for her, Joanna Jedrzejczyk has a bowl of nails for breakfast every morning…without any milk. To describe the women’s strawweight champion as “on point” in her main event scrap over the weekend would be borderline disrespectful — Joanna Champy was Chuck Liddell-esque in her tactical destruction of Penne (Joe), putting the TUF 20 alum’s face through the meat grinder over the course of a third round TKO victory.
While it was evident that Penne was outclassed on the feet from the start and unable to get the fight to the mat thereafter, a credit is due to her for taking everything Jedrzejczyk had to offer and not once backing down. We are often quick to praise a fighter’s heart in scenario’s like the one Penne found herself in, but very rarely do we see someone taking a lickin’ and keep on tickin’ like that. It’s not the highest praise, I know, but Penne will be a staple of this division for a while and have plenty more chances to improve and impress.
Check out Champy’s post-fight interview with Dan Hardy above, then join us after the jump for highlights and a complete list of results from Fight Night 69.
In the night’s co-main event, my boy Dennis Siver (aka Denny Seeves) was outmuscled by PRIDE vet Tatsuya Kawajiri en route to a unanimous decision loss, marking his 3rd loss in his past 5 fights overall. Despite some success fending off Kawajiri’s grappling-based attacks in the first round, Siver was simply a step behind “Crusher’s” takedown game in the second and third stanzas. It wasn’t a dominant win for Kawajiri by any means, but enough to earn him his second UFC win in 3 outings.
Elsewhere on the card, Makwan “Mr. Finland” Amirkhani continued his dynamic UFC run, submitting Masio Fullen in less than two minutes and dedicating the performance to his mother in an incredibly touching post-fight interview. There’s no denying that the UFC has found an entertaining, charismatic, and perhaps most importantly, talented guy in Amirkhani, so let’s hope they build him up properly.
Since the UFC hasn’t actually made any highlights from Fight Night 69 available online, we’ve had to resort to other means. But at the risk of compromising our journalistic integrity (LOL!), we’ll keep things brief and this article up by paying tribute to the excellent finishing sequence from the Scott Askham vs. Antônio dos Santos undercard fight. Dat uppercut tho…
The full list of results from Fight Night 69 are below.
Main card (UFC Fight Pass at 3 p.m. ET)
Joanna Jedrzejczyk def. Jessica Penne via TKO (punches) at 4:22 of R3
Tatsuya Kawajiri def. Dennis Siver via unanimous decision (29-28, 29-28, 29-28)
Peter Sobotta def. Steve Kennedy via submission (rear-naked choke) at 2:57 of R1
Nick Hein def. Lukasz Sajewski via unanimous decision (30-27, 30-27, 30-27)
Undercard (UFC Fight Pass at 12 p.m. ET)
Makwan Amirkhani def. Masio Fullen via submission (rear-naked choke) at 1:41 of R1
Mairbek Taisumov def. Alan Patrick via TKO (head kick and punches) at 1:30 of R2
Arnold Allen def. Alan Omer via submission (guillotine choke) at 1:41 of R3
Noad Lahat def. Niklas Backstrom via majority decision (28-28, 29-28, 29-28)
Scott Askham def. Antonio dos Santos via TKO (strikes) at 2:52 of R1
Magomed Mustafaev def. Piotr Hallman via TKO (doctor’s stoppage) at 3:24 of R2
Taylor Lapilus def. Ulka Sasaki via TKO (punches) at 1:26 of R2
In terms of the news cycle, today would be one of those days that we in the MMA writing biz refer to as “two ducks fucking on a rubber pond.” I never quite understood how that phrase applies to anything really, but the point is that it’s something of a dead zone out there. Sure, we could tell you that one of “the world’s most notorious UFC pirate” was finally caught, or that Reza Madadi is once again free to pursue a life of Snatch-like escapades, but you don’t really care about any of that, do you?
So instead of reading up on all that nonsense, why not just check out this video of newly-crowned women’s strawweight champion Joanna Jedrzejczyk being greeted by a raucous crowd of media, family, and friends upon arriving home in her native Poland? Joanna might not have received the full fledged mariachi band treatment that Junior Dos Santos did after winning his title, but it’s still pretty sweet to see “The Viper” (our new nickname for her, btw) doing anything but scaring the ever-loving shit out of poor Carla Esparza. Agreed? Agreed.
In terms of the news cycle, today would be one of those days that we in the MMA writing biz refer to as “two ducks fucking on a rubber pond.” I never quite understood how that phrase applies to anything really, but the point is that it’s something of a dead zone out there. Sure, we could tell you that one of “the world’s most notorious UFC pirate” was finally caught, or that Reza Madadi is once again free to pursue a life of Snatch-like escapades, but you don’t really care about any of that, do you?
So instead of reading up on all that nonsense, why not just check out this video of newly-crowned women’s strawweight champion Joanna Jedrzejczyk being greeted by a raucous crowd of media, family, and friends upon arriving home in her native Poland? Joanna might not have received the full fledged mariachi band treatment that Junior Dos Santos did after winning his title, but it’s still pretty sweet to see ”The Viper” (our new nickname for her, btw) doing anything but scaring the ever-loving shit out of poor Carla Esparza. Agreed? Agreed.
It seems that more often than not these days, the UFC likes to sell us on the invincibility of its champions. “Anderson Silva is the G.O.A.T.” “Renan Barao is one of the greatest pound-for-pound fighters in the UFC right now, if not the greatest.” “Jose Aldo had sex with my blind wife last night and now she can see!” I’m paraphrasing here, but you get the point.
That’s not meant as a knock on the promotion, mind you. I mean, you tell me how else you’re going to market a humble, softly-spoken foreigner who knows maybe a dozen words in English, if not based on his skills in the cage? This is the fight game after all, and Conor McGregor would still be collecting welfare checks if he didn’t possess the actual skill to back up his mouth. Yet time and time again, it seems that the UFC’s go-to strategy for hyping a fighter becomes akin to placing a hex on them. And when/if the champion in question does lose, it isn’t long before the conversation shifts to “Anderson Silva is a roidhead.” “Renan Barao is going to get smoked in the rematch.” “Jose Aldo is only keeping Conor McGregor’s seat warm.”
To be perfectly clear, this isn’t how I feel the UFC was marketing Anthony Pettis heading into his UFC 185 title fight with Rafael Dos Anjos. The promotion was marketing him on his skillset, sure, which again — how could you not when his highlight reel includes a flying off-the-cage ninja kick? I’m saying that this is how the MMA media seemed to be billing Pettis in the weeks leading up to last Saturday. Blame it on the stupidity and/or rampant fanboyism that affects even the unbiased (and more importantly, credentialed) members, blame it on whatever you want, but there was an air of invincibility surrounding Pettis. We were like a deer caught in the headlights of “Showtime’s” greatness, so much so that we barely even took the time to notice that Dos Anjos was there.
(Photo via Getty)
It seems that more often than not these days, the UFC likes to sell us on the invincibility of its champions. “Anderson Silva is the G.O.A.T.” “Renan Barao is one of the greatest pound-for-pound fighters in the UFC right now, if not the greatest.” “Jose Aldo had sex with my blind wife last night and now she can see!” I’m paraphrasing here, but you get the point.
That’s not meant as a knock on the promotion, mind you. I mean, you tell me how else you’re going to market a humble, softly-spoken foreigner who knows maybe a dozen words in English, if not based on his skills in the cage? This is the fight game after all, and Conor McGregor would still be collecting welfare checks if he didn’t possess the actual skill to back up his mouth. Yet time and time again, it seems that the UFC’s go-to strategy for hyping a fighter becomes akin to placing a hex on them. And when/if the champion in question does lose, it isn’t long before the conversation shifts to “Anderson Silva is a roidhead.” “Renan Barao is going to get smoked in the rematch.” “Jose Aldo is only keeping Conor McGregor’s seat warm.”
To be perfectly clear, this isn’t how I feel the UFC was marketing Anthony Pettis heading into his UFC 185 title fight with Rafael Dos Anjos. The promotion was marketing him on his skillset, sure, which again — how could you not when his highlight reel includes a flying off-the-cage ninja kick? I’m saying that this is how the MMA media seemed to be billing Pettis in the weeks leading up to last Saturday. Blame it on the stupidity and/or rampant fanboyism that affects even the unbiased (and more importantly, credentialed) members, blame it on whatever you want, but there was an air of invincibility surrounding Pettis. We were like a deer caught in the headlights of “Showtime’s” greatness, so much so that we barely even took the time to notice that Dos Anjos was there.
Again, this is not a dig, but rather an observation. I sure as hell didn’t give Dos Anjos much of a chance despite his insanely impressive credentials in recent years, and was already salivating at the idea of watching Pettis face his first true test as champion in Khabib Nurmagomedov, once the latter beat Donald Cerrone (which now that I think about it, likely just condemned Nurmy to a loss).
The point is, us MMA fans — from the most casual observers right up to the credentialed media members — like to get a few steps ahead of ourselves when it comes to the cream of the crop. We see a couple flashy finishes over legitimate competition and we suddenly start hyping up “superfights” and dream/freak show matches that are light years away from materializing, then devoting countless articles to them as if they’ve been already booked. Do you guys realize that “we’ve” spent the past two weeks talking about the prospect of Ronda Rousey vs. a man and/or Laila Al? (*shudders*)
And the MMA Gods, well, they find our hubris disconcerting. Disturbing even. Which is why every now and again, they throw a Dos Anjos into the gears. “This is what you get,” they bellow from on high, “This is what you get for trying to book Pettis vs. Aldo.”
And that’s exactly what happened last weekend. For five unbelievable, grueling rounds, the guy best known for being on the wrong end of a Jeremy Stephens uppercut in his UFC debut handed a dynamic, unstoppable champion the ass-whooping of a lifetime. To call it shocking would be a woeful undersell. Rafael Dos Anjos torched Anthony Pettis. We were ready to believe that the guy who got wrestlefucked by Clay Guida in 2011 had developed +1000 takedown defense mana in the years since, and oh how we were wrong. Even more bewildering than Dos Anjos’ complete domination in the grappling department was his dismantling of Pettis, a taekwondo master with the dexterity of a Cirque Du Soleil performer, in the striking department, which saw the then-champion’s eye swollen shut by the start of the championship rounds.
Pettis fought his heart out on Saturday, but he still came up short against a guy who started off his UFC career two in the hole. And with his loss, we are once again reminded that no one in the UFC is unbeatable (except for Jon Jones) (and Ronda Rousey). The king is dead, long live the king.
Speaking of unbeatable, time will only tell how long it takes for us to bestow that status on Joanna Jedrzejczyk, who came out like a woman possessed against Carla Esparza. Anyone who had seen the Embedded series knew that the Polish muay-Thai champion had managed to get inside her cookie-loving opponent’s head, but the extent to which she had wasn’t made obvious until Esparza entered the arena. Despite having Metallica’s “Harvester of Sorrow” blaring in the background, Esparza looked like anything but a woman ready for a fight. She looked extremely nervous. Checked out. Dare I say it, scared.
Her nervousness was apparent in every second she was in the fight. Esparza’s “underrated” striking — as it was being billed — was non-existent. Overwhelmed from the get-go by Jedrzejczyk’s prowess on the feet, the TUF 20 winner repeatedly dove in on sloppy and telegraphed single leg attempts with zero setup whatsoever. She was a sitting duck, and Jedrzejczyk wasted no time taking advantage of it. The second round TKO win for Jedrzejczyk capped off a flawless performance, and a credit is also due to referee Don Turnage for the most merciful title fight stoppage since Silva vs. Franklin.
What else did we learn at UFC 185? Well, that Johny Hendricks sure can wrassle, which was already a bit of a given. Struggling to deal with the constant forward attack of Matt Brown early, Hendricks slowed things down with his repeated takedowns and G-n-P, then busted up a tiring Brown on the feet in the latter rounds for good measure. It wasn’t the most exciting performance (and one that Hendricks was highly critical of himself), but the former champ looked well on his way to a trilogy fight with Robbie Lawler.
And finally, I’d like to pour one out for poor, poor Chris Cariaso. The guy is about as forgettable as they come in terms of both personality and skillset, and has absolutely been mauled in his past two fights. No wonder he was hoping Henry Cejudo missed weight.
Full results for UFC 185 are below.
Rafael dos Anjos def. Anthony Pettis by unanimous decision
Joanna Jedrzejczyk def. Carla Esparza by TKO, round 2
Johny Hendricks def. Matt Brown by unanimous decision
Alistair Overeem def. Roy Nelson by unanimous decision
Henry Cejudo def. Chris Cariaso by unanimous decision
Ross Pearson def. Sam Stout by KO, round 2
Elias Theodorou def. Roger Narvaez by TKO, round 2
Beneil Dariush def. Daron Cruickshank by submission, round 2
Jared Rosholt def. Josh Copeland by TKO, round 3
Ryan Benoit def. Sergio Pettis by TKO, round 2
Joseph Duffy def. Jake Lindsey by TKO, round 1
Germaine de Randamie def. Larissa Pacheco by TKO, round 2
Once in a while, Joe Silva likes to set up a card with an easy narrative. ‘Name’ fighters are given tough, but not too challenging opponents. We all pretend it’s a compelling matchup even though everyone knows who’s going to win. The fight happens, the good guy prevails, and it’s on to the next one. Such is the case with UFC 185.
The problem with this kind of card is that the bookies know who’s going to win too. This makes earning a buck off of watching people fight a bit of a challenge. Unless of course you like lengthy parlays or winning quarters off of 5-1 favourites. Still, this is MMA after all and crazier things have happened than a longshot winning a fight. Take for instance, the fact that Clay Guida has beaten both men vying for the lightweight title. Yes, this Clay Guida.
So with that in mind, let’s take a more in depth look at tomorrow’s UFC 185 card and see where we can earn some money to contribute towards CagePotato’s Patreon*.
*By “CagePotato’s Patreon” I of course mean blackjack and hookers.
By Sam Stilson
Once in a while, Joe Silva likes to set up a card with an easy narrative. ‘Name’ fighters are given tough, but not too challenging opponents. We all pretend it’s a compelling matchup even though everyone knows who’s going to win. The fight happens, the good guy prevails, and it’s on to the next one. Such is the case with UFC 185.
The problem with this kind of card is that the bookies know who’s going to win too. This makes earning a buck off of watching people fight a bit of a challenge. Unless of course you like lengthy parlays or winning quarters off of 5-1 favourites. Still, this is MMA after all and crazier things have happened than a longshot winning a fight. Take for instance, the fact that Clay Guida has beaten both men vying for the lightweight title. Yes, this Clay Guida.
So with that in mind, let’s take a more in depth look at tomorrow’s UFC 185 card and see where we can earn some money to contribute towards CagePotato’s Patreon*.
*By “CagePotato’s Patreon” I of course mean blackjack and hookers.
Like a smaller, stronger Rodney Dangerfield with penciled-on eyebrows, Carla Esparza just can’t get any respect. She’s been the 115 lb. champ for two years (between TUF 20 and other promotions) and has beaten a good chunk of her division already. We all thought Rose Namajunas was going to wreck her with her creative striking and it wasn’t even close. Wrestlers who can’t strike, beat strikers who can’t wrestle. At these odds you have to take the champ.
If this was a kickboxing match, Roy wouldn’t have a chance in hell. But it’s not, it’s MMA, and sometimes all you need is a big overhand right. It worked for Ben Rothwell and Bigfoot Silva against the Reem and I don’t think his chin has gotten any stronger. Fatty trumps Juicehead for a decent payout.
You might be asking, if this fight is so close, how come “The Immortal” isn’t considered a great underdog bet? He pays out 3 to 1! Well, let me direct you to this short clip and then tell me if you feel the same way. There’s more if you’re not convinced.
Johny absolutely deserves to be the favourite in this match-up, but Matt Brown is still being waaaay undervalued. Basically it comes down to game-plan. If Hendricks grinds out a wrestlefest, he’ll win, but if he strikes with Brown like he did with Lawler, this something of a coin-flip. “The Immortal” has a more diverse striking arsenal than Hendricks and also happens to be the toughest sum’bitch on the planet. Whoever emerges victorious deserves the title shot and either man deserves a bet.
Esparza won the UFC’s inaugural strawweight title with her third-round rear-naked choke submission of Rose Namajunas at the TUF 20 Finale in December. “Cookie Monster” was the #1 seed in the TUF 20 bracket due to her previous stint in Invicta FC, where she nabbed that promotion’s strawweight title as well.
Jedrzejczyk is 8-0 professionally and 2-0 in the UFC, with decision wins over Juliana Lima and Claudia Gadelha. A four-time IFMA Muay Thai European champion, J-Jed is perhaps best known for getting up in her opponents’faces during weigh-ins and eating a late punch during her last fight against Gadelha.
Even though Johny Hendricks vs. Matt Brown is arguably a more high-profile fight, Esparza vs. Jedrzejczyk will fill UFC 185’s co-main event spot due to a title being on the line; that’s just how it works. In other UFC 185 booking news…
(“After I won The Ultimate Fighter, they told me I could pick any three toys from the middle shelf.” / Photo via Getty)
Esparza won the UFC’s inaugural strawweight title with her third-round rear-naked choke submission of Rose Namajunas at the TUF 20 Finale in December. “Cookie Monster” was the #1 seed in the TUF 20 bracket due to her previous stint in Invicta FC, where she nabbed that promotion’s strawweight title as well.
Jedrzejczyk is 8-0 professionally and 2-0 in the UFC, with decision wins over Juliana Lima and Claudia Gadelha. A four-time IFMA Muay Thai European champion, J-Jed is perhaps best known for getting up in her opponents’faces during weigh-ins and eating a late punch during her last fight against Gadelha.
Even though Johny Hendricks vs. Matt Brown is arguably a more high-profile fight, Esparza vs. Jedrzejczyk will fill UFC 185′s co-main event spot due to a title being on the line; that’s just how it works. In other UFC 185 booking news…
