(What?! Every beast needs to take a cat nap every now and again.)
For reasons we will never truly understand, a lot of emphasis seems to be placed on the monikers designated to a given fighter. For guys like Randy “The Natural” Couture, the nickname often represents an extension of a their personality, or an underlying philosophy that they bring into the cage. Guys like Renato “Babalu” Sobral, on the other hand, carry perhaps the most authentic nicknames of them all; names that, although holding little to no meaning in terms of the fight game, were bestowed upon the fighter as a child and simply stuck. And then there are guys like Justin “The Nsane1″ McCully, whose nicknames were most likely derived from an ill-fated, drunken AOL Instant Messenger conversation at 3 a.m. with the intent of finding something “fresh” and “intimidating” to bring to the table.
But even lower on the nickname totem pole than the Joe Lauzons and the Kendall Groves of the world are the guys whose nicknames completely clash with the public’s perception of who they truly are, their gameplan once they step into the ring, or simply their abilities as a fighter in general. So it is with that in mind that we present you with a brief rundown of the top ten fighters who are in desperate need of a name change if they want to continue to be taken seriously.
#10 – Sam “Hands of Stone” Stout
Not only does Stout have only one knockout to his credit in his 13-fight UFC career, he only has one finish in his UFC career. Granted, the KO he managed to pull off against Yves Edwards at UFC 131 was a freakin’ brilliant one, but you don’t see Chad Mendes calling himself “The Guillotine Machine” because he was able to pull it off once a couple years ago. Perhaps “Hands of Limestone” would be something a little more appropriate.
#9 – Matt “The Immortal” Brown
When your MMA record is just a notch above .500, it might be a little pretentious to refer to yourself as “Immortal.” Not even Superman was immortal, but he could sure as hell defend a guillotine choke when forced to do so. Not that we’re knocking Brown as a fighter, because like Stout, the guy always comes to throw down on fight night, and is one intimidating SOB to boot. Plus, as Jeremy May will surely tell you, pissing off Brown is not something you want to do if you enjoy having all of your teeth in their current location.
#8 – John “The Natural” Alessio
Besides the fact that the nickname already belongs to one of the godfathers of the sport, you shouldn’t be able to call yourself a natural anything when you’ve admitted to steroid use in the past.
#7 – Tito “The People’s Champ” Ortiz
You haven’t held a title in ten years, and you gave yourself a nickname that was both stolen from a professional wrestler and contradicts the heel role you have built your name on for the past fifteen or so years. For shame, Tito. For shame.
#6 – Joe “The Baddest Man on the Planet” Warren
Now, this technically isn’t Warren’s nickname, as it isn’t listed on his fighter profile, but Warren has referred to himself as such on several occasions, and has paid dearly in karma points as a result.
As with most 