Tag: knockout videos

Fail of the Year Candidate #2: Another Dipshit Dares His Opponent to Test His Chin With Predictable Results

(Mad props to CP reader Dave W for the find. The logic-defying test of strength comes at the 4:27 mark, if you’re into that sort of thing.)

At this point, we’ve done all we can do to spare fighters the embarrassment of testing their unbreakable chins during a fight, only to receive a lesson in humility shortly thereafter. We’ve put out a PSA, we’ve relentlessly ridiculed those dumb enough to attempt the maneuver, and we’ve even bestowed one of these jackasses with the MMA Fail of the Year Award, the best worst CP honor of them all. But like Flickr’s obsession with bloody nipples, it appears that fighters daring their opponents to knock them out is a trend that is here to stay.

Today’s exercise in stupidity comes to us from a supposed “Shaolin Kung Fu Master” named Yi Long — we say “supposed” because one would think that a Shaolin Master would be a little more versed in the art of modesty — during a December 2012 fight with 10-2 Muay Thai wrecking machine Josh Pickthall. Not only does the fight feature some of the most blatant nuthugging from a ringside announcer that we have ever heard (not that we know what they’re saying, but scroll through the Youtube comments to clarify this), but it also features a falling tree KO so glorious that it seems to come right out of a Looney Tunes episode.

Perhaps what’s most perplexing about Long’s decision to expose himself to three straight punches (which, to his credit, he seems to hold up for two of) is the fact that the fight was relatively competitive until the last few seconds. If you’re Anderson Silva fighting Stephan Bonnar, sure, go ahead and get cocky. If you’re some dipshit who fancies himself the next Anderson Silva, however, maybe it’s best to hold off on the dropping of the hands. For your own sake.

–J. Jones


(Mad props to CP reader Dave W for the find. The logic-defying test of strength comes at the 4:27 mark, if you’re into that sort of thing.)

At this point, we’ve done all we can do to spare fighters the embarrassment of testing their unbreakable chins during a fight, only to receive a lesson in humility shortly thereafter. We’ve put out a PSA, we’ve relentlessly ridiculed those dumb enough to attempt the maneuver, and we’ve even bestowed one of these jackasses with the MMA Fail of the Year Award, the best worst CP honor of them all. But like Flickr’s obsession with bloody nipples, it appears that fighters daring their opponents to knock them out is a trend that is here to stay.

Today’s exercise in stupidity comes to us from a supposed “Shaolin Kung Fu Master” named Yi Long — we say “supposed” because one would think that a Shaolin Master would be a little more versed in the art of modesty – during a December 2012 fight with 10-2 Muay Thai wrecking machine Josh Pickthall. Not only does the fight feature some of the most blatant nuthugging from a ringside announcer that we have ever heard (not that we know what they’re saying, but scroll through the Youtube comments to clarify this), but it also features a falling tree KO so glorious that it seems to come right out of a Looney Tunes episode.

Perhaps what’s most perplexing about Long’s decision to expose himself to three straight punches (which, to his credit, he seems to hold up for two of) is the fact that the fight was relatively competitive until the last few seconds. If you’re Anderson Silva fighting Stephan Bonnar, sure, go ahead and get cocky. If you’re some dipshit who fancies himself the next Anderson Silva, however, maybe it’s best to hold off on the dropping of the hands. For your own sake.

–J. Jones

Knockout of the Day: Finally, A Cecil Peoples-Reffed Fight That Doesn’t End in (Complete) Disaster

I hate to come off sounding judgemental in today’s politically correct MMA landscape, but be honest: When you first looked at the tatted-up, semi-chiseled gentleman in the white shorts, then looked at his opponent, the bushy-browed IT salesman in the basketball trunks, how did you think this fight would end?

If you are a Joe Lauzon fan like myself, you probably believed that the “Can You Hear Me Now?” guy would run through his overly-compensating tomato can of an opponent in the first round. If you are a realist, though, you probably predicted some variation of the first-strike KO that actually happened. Congratulations, your shirt is in the mail.

What none of you could have predicted, however, was that Cecil Peoples would not only be the third man in the ring for this local scrap but would actually stop the fight before IT guy was beaten into a coma. The small victories, Potato Nation. The small victories.

–J. Jones

I hate to come off sounding judgemental in today’s politically correct MMA landscape, but be honest: When you first looked at the tatted-up, semi-chiseled gentleman in the white shorts, then looked at his opponent, the bushy-browed IT salesman in the basketball trunks, how did you think this fight would end?

If you are a Joe Lauzon fan like myself, you probably believed that the “Can You Hear Me Now?” guy would run through his overly-compensating tomato can of an opponent in the first round. If you are a realist, though, you probably predicted some variation of the first-strike KO that actually happened. Congratulations, your shirt is in the mail.

What none of you could have predicted, however, was that Cecil Peoples would not only be the third man in the ring for this local scrap but would actually stop the fight before IT guy was beaten into a coma. The small victories, Potato Nation. The small victories.

–J. Jones

Knockout of the Day: When Keeping it Real Having the Name Anderson Silva Goes Wrong

(Props to UG member KickYoNuts for the find.)

Picture this: You’re a young, wannabe rock star who just so happens to be named Eddie Van Halen. Even worse, you just so happen to LOVE playing heavy metal guitar, and truly believe that all the comparisons to the man himself and requests to play “Eruption” ad nauseam will be worth it when you finally step on stage to accept your Grammy.

So you find yourself a decent crew of bandmates, practice your ass off, and finally convince yourself that you are ready for a shot at the big time. Before you know it, you find yourself opening for Alice Cooper at the Wacken Open Air festival in front of an endless sea of eager spectators. You only get one song to blow the collective minds of the masses and it’s an easy choice: a cover of Pantera’s “Cowboys From Hell.”

You step onto the stage and unleash a whammy bar dive that channels the spirit of the almighty Dimebag Darrell himself, but just as you are about to bellow “Awwwwww COME ON!”, an ill-timed current surges through your microphone and knocks you unconscious. You release your bowels all over your brand new Gibson Les Paul Standard, and even worse, a video of the incident becomes a viral sensation within hours, forever shaming you to a lifetime spent reminiscing about the night you played a spot-on rendition of “Eruption” with your large intestine.

This is the MMA equivalent of that.

–J. Jones


(Props to UG member KickYoNuts for the find.)

Picture this: You’re a young, wannabe rock star who just so happens to be named Eddie Van Halen. Even worse, you just so happen to LOVE playing heavy metal guitar, and truly believe that all the comparisons to the man himself and requests to play “Eruption” ad nauseam will be worth it when you finally step on stage to accept your Grammy.

So you find yourself a decent crew of bandmates, practice your ass off, and finally convince yourself that you are ready for a shot at the big time. Before you know it, you find yourself opening for Alice Cooper at the Wacken Open Air festival in front of an endless sea of eager spectators. You only get one song to blow the collective minds of the masses and it’s an easy choice: a cover of Pantera’s “Cowboys From Hell.”

You step onto the stage and unleash a whammy bar dive that channels the spirit of the almighty Dimebag Darrell himself, but just as you are about to bellow “Awwwwww COME ON!”, an ill-timed current surges through your microphone and knocks you unconscious. You release your bowels all over your brand new Gibson Les Paul Standard, and even worse, a video of the incident becomes a viral sensation within hours, forever shaming you to a lifetime spent reminiscing about the night you played a spot-on rendition of “Eruption” with your large intestine.

This is the MMA equivalent of that.

–J. Jones

In Honor of Mark Hunt’s UFC 160 Return, Let’s All Watch Him Turn Stefan Struve’s Jaw Into Mush

(Props: YouTube.com/fueltv. Skip to 13:38 to see Hunt create the best MMA photo moment of 2013.)

Picture it: Saitama, March 2013. Thirty-eight-year-old slugger Mark Hunt has improbably battled his way to a three-fight win streak in the UFC, and is booked to face Stefan Struve, who stands 14 inches taller than him, and is on an impressive four-fight victory run of his own.

The MMA Gods were angry that night, my friend. By the time that Hunt and Struve stepped into the cage, fans at the Saitama Super Arena had suffered through 24 consecutive rounds without a finish — eight straight decision fights, half of which were so close that the judges didn’t all agree on who had won. It would take a miracle to save this card. Or maybe, just a beefy Samoan who knew how to exploit Struve’s maddening inability to use his range.


(Props: YouTube.com/fueltv. Skip to 13:38 to see Hunt create the best MMA photo moment of 2013.)

Picture it: Saitama, March 2013. Thirty-eight-year-old slugger Mark Hunt has improbably battled his way to a three-fight win streak in the UFC, and is booked to face Stefan Struve, who stands 14 inches taller than him, and is on an impressive four-fight victory run of his own.

The MMA Gods were angry that night, my friend. By the time that Hunt and Struve stepped into the cage, fans at the Saitama Super Arena had suffered through 24 consecutive rounds without a finish — eight straight decision fights, half of which were so close that the judges didn’t all agree on who had won. It would take a miracle to save this card. Or maybe, just a beefy Samoan who knew how to exploit Struve’s maddening inability to use his range.

Hunt spent the first two rounds wearing Struve down — at times even out-grappling (!) the Dutch submission specialist — and was up two rounds to zip on the Official CagePotato Scorecard going into round three. Though both men were clearly fading in the final frame, Hunt was still able to throw heavy shots while Struve increasingly had trouble keeping his hands up. Over and over again, Struve allowed Hunt to walk into his range and throw bombs. An exchange of leather that began with Hunt on the retreat actually ended with Struve getting stunned, and Hunt waded forward for one final onslaught, shattering Struve’s jaw with a sledge-hammer left hook that put Skyscraper on his ass. Hunt walked off about five seconds before the fight was officially stopped. The power of suggestion, I guess. The knockout lifted the storm-clouds at the Super Arena, which allowed this to happen.

Hunt is now on a four-fight win streak, with three of those wins by KO/TKO, and will face former UFC heavyweight champ Junior Dos Santos in the co-main event of UFC 160 this Saturday. Will Hunt be able to pull off another dramatic upset? And considering that he was previously on a losing streak that lasted nearly five years before his current run of success, would a win against Dos Santos mark the greatest career comeback in MMA history?

CagePotato PSA: Please Stop Daring Your Opponents to Knock You Out, Bush League MMA Fighters of the World

(All praises be to MiddleEasy for the find.) 

Alright, you guys, this is the last time we’re going to explain this.

We understand that six months of sprawl training can fill you with a previously unimaginable sense of self-confidence. Hell, throw in a couple BJJ lessons and a month or so of P90X and most of us would probably feel damn near invincible. It’s understandable to a degree, for we are a fragile-minded species that are easily influenced and oft corrupted by our own power, no matter how fleeting it may be.

But as fragile as our minds truly are, our bodies usually pale in comparison (*cough* Kevin Ware *cough*). And in the MMA game, taking one’s body for granted is a surefire way to wind up on the wrong end of a knockout — an embarrassing moment made all the more embarrassing when it comes just moments after you dare your opponent to test your otherworldly chin strength. Just ask our winner for the Biggest MMA Fail of 2012 or the Diaz wannabe who got front-kicked into never-neverland what showboating leads to. Hint: It’s pain. Only pain.


(All praises be to MiddleEasy for the find.) 

Alright, you guys, this is the last time we’re going to explain this.

We understand that six months of sprawl training can fill you with a previously unimaginable sense of self-confidence. Hell, throw in a couple BJJ lessons and a month or so of P90X and most of us would probably feel damn near invincible. It’s understandable to a degree, for we are a fragile-minded species that are easily influenced and oft corrupted by our own power, no matter how fleeting it may be.

But as fragile as our minds truly are, our bodies usually pale in comparison (*cough* Kevin Ware *cough*). And in the MMA game, taking one’s body for granted is a surefire way to wind up on the wrong end of a knockout — an embarrassing moment made all the more embarrassing when it comes just moments after you dare your opponent to test your otherworldly chin strength. Just ask our winner for the Biggest MMA Fail of 2012 or the Diaz wannabe who got front-kicked into never-neverland what showboating leads to. Hint: It’s pain. Only pain.

As you can tell by his pathetic attempts to perform what we in the MMA world call a “kick,” the jackwagon featured above clearly falls into the category of “Six Month Sprawl Superstar.” And while it’s fitting that this guy would be so confident in his chin that he would charge face first into a punch with his hands down, the humor we can take away from his misfortune only masks the bigger picture: reckless endangerment.

The simple fact is that one of these crazy bastards are going to get themselves killed while attempting to show off during a fight, and when one of them inevitably does, our beloved sport will once again be put the ringer as a result. It’s pretty selfish, honestly, but who am I kidding? I’m talking to the guy who is so self-centered that he laughs at the notion of a mere mortal somehow possessing the strength to knock him out.

Look, we know it looks cool/intimidating when Nick Diaz effortlessly absorbs his opponents best shots whilst throwing Stockton Heybuddies all the while, but none of you are Nick Diaz. If you were, you would certainly be too caught up in some good old fashioned nunchucking to own a computer and therefore read this plea.

You want to show off how much of a badass you are? Try finishing your opponent then celebrating. There’s a much smaller window for failure there. In the meantime, we beg you impressionable MMA fighters out there to please spend a little less time thinking you’re God and a little more keeping your hands up. For our sake and yours.

–J. Jones

Street Fight Funhouse #3: One Fight, Two Knockouts

You know, I remember when fighting in the middle of a ring of parked cars with their headlights on used to mean something. In the latest installment of Street Fight Funhouse, MMA fighter/comedian Gerald Harris adds some play-by-play commentary to an unsanctioned backyard boxing match that results in a pair of brand new concussions for a dude named “Chicken Dance.” Subscribe to CagePotato on YouTube for more of our street-fight remixes, and follow Gerald on twitter @GHurricane. As always, your comments/suggestions are appreciated.

You know, I remember when fighting in the middle of a ring of parked cars with their headlights on used to mean something. In the latest installment of Street Fight Funhouse, MMA fighter/comedian Gerald Harris adds some play-by-play commentary to an unsanctioned backyard boxing match that results in a pair of brand new concussions for a dude named “Chicken Dance.” Subscribe to CagePotato on YouTube for more of our street-fight remixes, and follow Gerald on twitter @GHurricane. As always, your comments/suggestions are appreciated.