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The 10 Greatest GIFs From ‘UFC on FOX: Diaz vs. Miller’

(Upkick me once, shame on you. Upkick me twice, shame on me. Upkick me six times…seriously, bro?)

From Nate Diaz‘s hilarious taunts to Lavar Johnson‘s brutalization of Pat Barry, here are the best moments from Saturday night’s UFC card in animated GIF form. Props to IronForgesIron, the UG, and TheBigLead. More good stuff after the jump.

(Pablo Garza vs. Dennis Bermudez: Upkick me once, shame on you. Upkick me twice, shame on me. Upkick me six times…seriously, bro?)

(Man, if that kick landed, forget about it.)

(Jim Miller’s tongue says it all.)

‘UFC on FOX: Diaz vs. Miller’ Aftermath: Diaz Stops Miller, Belcher Upsets Palhares

Props: MMAMania

As expected, it was a great idea to pit two heavyweight knock out artists against one another for the Fox audience. Lavar Johnson and Pat Barry swung for the fences and beat the tar out of each other for almost a whole round before Johnson stopped Barry with punches.

Johnson now has two consecutive entertaining UFC wins under his belt, after back to back Strikeforce submission losses. He’ll likely get at least a couple more style-friendly sluggers to duke it out with from the UFC since he’s performed so well against them thus far.

Barry’s situation may be a little more complicated. The former K-1 fighter always brings it in his fights, is fan-friendly and has some big wins on his resume. But he’s also now lost three out of his last four fights and five out of his last eight. One would imagine he’ll get at least some more fights from the UFC given that he won his prior fight and how exciting he was, even in defeat, against Johnson.

Props: MMAMania

Alan Belcher may have just capped the stealthiest rise to title contender in the UFC with his first round TKO win over Rousimar Palhares. Belcher defended a flurry of leg-lock attempts from Palhares expertly, allowing his He-Man shaped opponent to gas out, before putting on a ground striking clinic and finishing the fight himself.

Belcher has only lost one time since September of 2008, and that was a controversial decision to Yoshihiro Akiyama. He’s now piled up four consecutive finishes against solid competition and, short of Chael Sonnen, Mark Munoz and Hector Lombard, there are not many other names other than Belcher’s to consider as #1 middleweight contender.

We got exactly what we could have expected out of the matchup between former NCAA Division I wrestling national champions Josh Koscheck and Johny Hendricks – a wild slug fest. Top wrestlers like Koscheck, Hendricks and Dan Henderson often carry with them nasty one-punch natural knockout power, which they typically wield with reckless abandon. After all, they don’t usually have to worry about being taken down no matter how much they over extend themselves on strikes.

That’s what we saw with Hendricks and Koscheck. They each threw nothing but power shots, in spurts, in between mostly failed takedown attempts. Koscheck appeared to hurt Hendricks in the first round, but Hendricks landed nearly twice as many total strikes as Koscheck, including big uppercuts and straight lefts that landed flush, didn’t seem to face Koscheck, but left the right side of his face swollen badly.

In the end, two judges saw it for Hendricks and one for Koscheck. The fight was close but since Koscheck was gifted a decision over Mike Pierce in his last outing, you can’t feel too badly for the recently liberated long time American Kickboxing Academy fighter.

The good news for Koscheck is that he looked like his old self against Hendricks, after seeming flat against Pierce. Also, the dude has a plane, so, you know…it’s all good.

With as crowded and muddled as the talent-heavy lightweight division title picture is these days, some might have wondered if Dana White’s pre-fight statement that Nate Diaz would get a title shot if he beat fellow contender Jim miller was premature or dubious in its logic. But after beating Miller via second round guillotine submission, Diaz has three consecutive wins over former champs or top contenders.

What’s more is that Diaz beat Miller so emphatically and decisively. Miller is not an easy man to stop, in fact, Diaz is the first person to do so.

No one can say that they wouldn’t want to see the volatile and exciting Diaz take his pin-point striking and nasty submissions and challenge Frankie Edgar or Benson Henderson at this point.

– Elias

UFC on FOX: Diaz vs. Miller — Live Results and Commentary

Tonight’s UFC on FOX event is looking to be one for the ages, Potato Nation. The alcohol-fueled spirit of Cinco De Mayo has overtaken most, if not all, of the U.S of A by this point, and I’m no exception, so lets skip the fancy introductions and get right to it.

Preliminary results
-Karlos Vemola def. Mike Massenzio by submission (rear-naked choke) at 1:07 of round two.
-Roland Delorme def. Nick Denis by submission (rear-naked choke) at 4:59 of round one.
-Dennis Bermudez def. Pablo Garzo by UD
-Danny Castillo def. John Cholsih by UD
-Louis Gaudinot def. John Lineker by submission (guillotine choke) at 4:54 of round 2
-John Hathaway def. Paskal Krauss by UD
-John Dodson def. Tim Elliot by UD
-Michael Johnson def. Tony Ferguson by UD

A couple musings from the prelims:

-Apparently some McDonald’s Happy Meals DO come with Jiu-Jitsu Blackbelts. Just ask Mike Massenzio.

-Nick Denis has a ridiculous rat tail, but it can’t match up with Roland Delorme’s iron chin. What an amazing round of action that was.

A couple musings from the prelims:

-Apparently some McDonald’s Happy Meals DO come with Jiu-Jitsu Blackbelts. Just ask Mike Massenzio.

-Nick Denis has a ridiculous rat tail, but it can’t match up with Roland Delorme’s iron chin. What an amazing round of action that was.

They give a shout-out to Adam Yauch, who unfortunately lost his battle to cancer at just 47. In his honor, I am starting off this liveblog with a Brass Monkey at my side. Cheers.

Lavar Johnson vs. Pat Barry

Bruce Buffer seemed waaay to enthusiastic when announcing Lavar Johnson’s nickname. Just sayin’.

Round 1: Barry opens with a left hook and a nice leg kick. Johnson clinches. Barry hits a head kick off the fence, then an uppercut. Leg kick Barry. Johnson clinches again. A couple knees to the head from Johnson, then a flurry of those patented uppercuts. Barry looks for a takedown, might be in trouble. Barry moves to mount! Then moves to side control…weird. Barry’s going for an Americana… weirder. Rogan comments on his incorrect technique, but Johnson is grimacing like a sumbitch, so maybe its working. “Big” gets free. The mount is wide open for the taking, but Barry opts to stay in side control. Both men back to their feet, and a leg kick by Barry. Big kick by Johnson spins Barry around, and Johnson is just UNLOADING on Barry against the fence. Is Barry playing possum? Nope, Johnson continues to tee off on Barry until he drops and it is all over. Wow.

Lavar Johnson def. Pat Barry via TKO, round 1.

Man, Barry must have seriously been rocked, because he was a sitting duck for that last exchange. In either case, a great win for Johnson in defeating the more technical striker. Johnson tries to make the case for KOTN, saying, “He just wants that check.”

My God. Paul Harris’ highlight reel looks like a Faces of Death movie trailer. Those poor souls.

Rousimar Palhares vs. Alan Belcher

Goldberg tries to introduce Dan Mirogliatta twice and fails miserably.

Round 1: Both men are tentative at the start. Belcher faints a few jabs, and Palhares dives on a leg. Uh-oh. Holy shit, Belcher is looking for a Twister after a hell of a scramble, and now a banana split. I MUST be drunk. Palhares looking for a kneebar. Belcher defending, but its like watching a car accident happen in slo-mo. Palhares now trying for a heel hook of death. Belcher escapes! HE MUST BE GREASING! Nice elbows by Belcher, who is laying down some serious GnP. IT IS OVER!

Alan Belcher def. Rousimar Palhares via TKO, round 1.

What a victory for Belcher. The man put his legs in the grinder and came out unscathed. What the hell is going on with the audio feed? Either Mike Goldberg is having an aneurysm or something is really up, because one-word spurts are repeating on loop. Anyway, Belcher sort of claims that he is the most dangerous 185er on the ground since he defeated Palhares, and I’m inclined to believe him.

Josh Koscheck vs. Johny Hendricks.

Jesus Christ, is Joe Rogan seriously trying to pass off Mir/Dos Santos as a grudge match? Who cares, because they’re playing “Brass Monkey” in the background of his and Dana White’s little chat. DRINK UP!

Once again, I have to hear that Josh Koscheck does in fact own a motherfucking plane. Screw this, I’m turning off the sound on my TV and throwing on some Danzig.

Round 1: Koscheck comes out with a front kick. Then another. Well, its already gone longer than I’d like it to. Koscheck with a nice right hook on the counter. Hendricks may be hurt, as Koscheck just landed a nice combo on him. Now another. Hendricks is in trouble, and tries a takedown that is ridiculously far from landing. Hendricks lands a nice uppercut, then goes for the double leg. They clinch against the fence, and are separated by Kevin Mulhall. Hendricks with a left hand, then tries for another takedown. Koscheck with a nice combo against the fence. Hendricks is looking for a one-punch KO here. Koscheck tries a spinning LOLfist as the round ends, and he likely took it.

Round 2: Hendricks is throwing looping punches trying to close the distance, but Kos ain’t having it. Uppercut Hendricks. Koscheck looks for a guillotine on a Hendricks takedown attempt, then goes for Hendricks’ back. Hendricks goes for a double and gets Kos against the fence. Crowd getting restless, those animals. On the separation, Kos whiffs a big left, and gets countered with an uppercut. They clinch again, and Kos lands a nice elbow before pushing off. Kos tries a head kick that gets blocked. Hendricks swinging away, then lands a leg kick and clinches as the bell sounds. Close round, but I’d give it to Hendricks.

Round 3: Koschecks eye is starting to resemble the GSP fight, and he bull rushes Hendricks into the fence. Mulhall separates, and the two swing away in a nice exchange. Hendricks lands a nice left hook that seems to hurt Kos, but then Kos fires back. Some really nice dirty boxing by Hendricks, ala Randy Couture. I think Koscheck’s eye may be in some trouble here, as Hendricks lands another knee. Takedown Kos, who briefly attempts an arm-triangle. Koscheck on top, working for mount, but Hendricks gets back to half-guard. Koscheck spends the remainder of the round on top and may take it.

Scratch that.

Johny Hendricks def. Josh Koscheck by split decision.

Koscheck’s eye is looking fatter than a stick of deep fried butter, and Hendricks says he wants to bring a title home to Texas. According to Dana White, he should get the chance soon enough.

They’re desperately trying to push this season’s The Ultimate Fighter, but nothing, including Ronda Rousey, is going to make people want to stay in on a Friday night. Just ask….that show Fridays.

It’s main event time…

Nate Diaz vs. Jim Miller

Brian Stann just reeled off a good four or five sentences when assessing this fight without saying the word “uh” once. Take that, Jon Jones. I forget who, but someone disagreed with my assessment that Diaz’s victory over Cerrone was “dominant” the other day. Joe Rogan just agreed with me, so SUCK IT WHOEVER YOU WERE.

Per usual, Miller comes out to “Bad Moon Rising,” which only reinforces my belief that he is the coolest thing to come out of Jersey in the history of ever.

Round 1: Diaz doesn’t touch gloves, go figure. Nice leg kick by Miller to start. Diaz clinches after a combination misses, but Miller pushes him into the fence. The crowd is already booing, WTF?! Nice knee by Miller, who tries an elbow over the top to follow. Leg kick Miller, then another. Right hook Diaz, then a nice body shot. Inside leg kick Diaz. Miller clinches Diaz against the fence, trying for a single. Diaz turns things around and lands a nice knee. Body kick Miller. Diaz drops Miller with a straight left! Miller dives for a takedown with 30 seconds left. Nice scramble, and Miller gets Diaz to the mat. Nate sweeps Miller as the round ends.

Round 2: Both men start the round with a left hand. Leg kick Miller, who follows it up with a right hand. Diaz pushes Miller into the fence and lands a few shots to the body. Nice elbow on the break by Miller. Diaz clinches again, looking for the trip, but is unsuccessful. Miller with a left over the top. Diaz tries a flying knee, and the taunting begins. They clinch and Diaz lands a nice knee that causes Miller to drop to a hand. Diaz with a nice elbow, and Miller dives for a takedown. Diaz tries a on-armed guillotine, and gets it! DAMN! Diaz becomes the first man to stop Jim Miller! Great finish!

Nate Diaz def. Jim Miller via submission (guillotine), round 2.

Holy shit. On the replay, Joe Rogan informs us that Miller’s mouthpiece fell out in the scramble, and he was nearly biting his own tongue off before he tapped.

Well, that’s all for me tonight. It looks like we have our next two challengers at lightweight and welterweight lined up. Thanks for stopping by, Potato Nation, and I’ll catch you all next week.

–J. Jones

For FOX Sake: Five Things We’d Like to See During This Weekend’s ‘UFC on FOX 3? Broadcast

(Is there anyway we could get the guy on the far right to…what’s the word I’m looking for….leave?)

Since the UFC has made its conversion to a major network, they’ve had their fair share of ups and downs. Their first event, though featuring a match that could headline any pay-per-view, was little more than an hour long infomercial for the sport, topped off by the shortest title fight this side of Andrei Arlovski’s flash knockout of Paul Buentello back at UFC 55. Their second event was forced to shuffle around its main card participants as a result of Mark Munoz’s grisly injury, resulting in two mediocre bouts and a tepid main event. And don’t even get us started on Jon Jones’ commentary.

However, not all is lost (unless we’re talking about last week’s TUF ratings. Bazinga!), for this Saturday’s card promises to deliver the kind of head-to-toe action that mainstream and hardcore audiences alike have been waiting for. It’s got a Diaz, a Miller, a cartoon character, and a mythical swamp beast on its main card alone, so what could possibly go wrong? But just in case the Zuffa brass are looking for a few extra pointers from a fan’s perspective, we’ve compiled the following list of five things that would surely elevate UFC on FOX 3 above that of its predecessors. Enjoy, and let us know what other improvements could be made to the UFC on FOX in the comments section.

5. Tito Ortiz Return to his Role as a Ringside Commentator

FOX is a network that prides itself on being the voice of the simple, common man. And there is perhaps no man simpler than that of Tito Ortiz. Let’s be real here; Ortiz’s night of commentary at Affliction: Day of Reckoning was easily the funniest Goddamn moment in the history of MMA, bar none. Brian Fantana could not muster one-tenth of its hilarity if he were to report on every Panda birth from here to Chongqing, and we should give “The People’s Champ” another go-around for comedic purposes only. Besides, when was the last time ringside commentary really blew your mind? We love Joe Rogan and all, but we’d be much more inclined to stick around after the fight if there was a possibility that the announcer in question would suffer an aneurysm whilst trying to determine his next word.

(Is there anyway we could get the guy on the far right to…what’s the word I’m looking for…leave?)

5. Tito Ortiz Return to his Role as a Ringside Commentator

4. Alan Belcher Walk Out of the Octagon Unassisted

We know this one’s a long shot, but suffice it to say, we’d rather not have a fight on a major television network end with a man screaming in pain like dying rabbit as a result of his opponent’s incompetency, his own stubbornness, or a combination of the two. Though it may seem like the bookies have already written him off, we actually have a little more faith in “The Talent” than we originally let off. The guy’s a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu blackbelt with great hands to boot, so perhaps he’ll be able to stifle the limb mangling power of Rousimar Palhares. We’re just praying that we don’t have to see someone’s appendage torn from the rest of their body on live television (that’s right, I brought it back).

3. This.

(Props to RubberDucky for reminding us of how glorious a gif this truly is.)

Swap out Paulo Thiago with Johny Hendricks and you pretty much have it.

2. Also, Lots and Lots of These

The middle finger is basically the last bastion of American freedom, which would make the Diaz brothers its flag waving supporters. No network/fight promotion team supports the basic freedoms of Americans more than FOX and the UFC. The right to bear arms, the right to free speech, equal rights for women; the UFC and FOX have rallied behind the best of them, so why not support perhaps the most American gesture in the country’s history? Being a New Yorker, I am perhaps more versed in the art of the bird than most, and I can honestly tell you that when I am flipped off by some bitch and/or bastard in the car behind me for brake-checking his/her tailgating ass, I am filled with a sense of patriotism that is truly indescribable. If UFC fighters didn’t live in fear that their love for this country could cost them their jobs, we guarantee that this beautiful gesture would become a highlight of fight nights from this day forth. There aren’t many similarities between your average fighter and your average couch potato, but this could be one area where we could all share a common connection, if only for a couple of seconds at a time.

1. Pat Barry Break Out the Techno Viking

Pat Barry is a man of many faces. On one hand, he’s a guy who will decapitate you with a high kick in the blink of an eye. On the other, he’s a karaoke-singing goofball with a penchant for releasing funny videos on them Interwebs. In his last octagon appearance, Barry followed up a first round starching of Christian Morecraft with a tribute to “planking,” despite the fact that planking had already been long forgotten about and replaced by owling. So if Barry is looking to get real old school (re: 2007) with his Internet trendology, he should unleash his dead-on Techno Viking impression, as seen above. either during his entrance or immediately after KO’ing Lavar Johnson (granted he is able to). It would go viral faster than Diego Sanchez’s exorcism routine and be ten times as awesome to witness. If you’re still our friend, Pat, please make this happen. We are still buddies, right?

-J. Jones

Gambling Addiction Enabler: UFC on FOX 3 Edition

On the heels of what was a hugely successful (both in terms of action and PPV sales) UFC 145, the UFC will look to keep the momentum going with this weekend’s UFC on FOX 3 card, which features a smorgasbord of great match-ups (praise be to Joe Silva). And the only way to make a great thing even better would be to walk away with a little extra moolah, don’t you think? Because, to paraphrase what Bobby McFerrin once said, “If you don’t have cash, you don’t have style, and you sure as hell don’t have a gal to make you smile.” Something like that. So check out the tasty betting lines below, courtesy of BestFightOdds, and follow us after the jump for some sound advice that will surely score you one out of the three McFerrin keys to success. And don’t worry, none of the spreads are as insane as the current Akihiro Gono/Michael Chandler odds, which more closely resemble your chances of sleeping with Halle Berry, winning the lottery, and surviving a public bus fire in the same day.

Main Card
Jim Miller (-220) vs. Nate Diaz (+180)
Pat Barry (-210) vs. Lavar Johnson (+175)
Johny Hendricks (-120) vs. Josh Koscheck (+100)
Rousimar Palhares (-280) vs. Alan Belcher (+240)

Preliminary Card
Dennis Bermudez (-175) vs. Pablo Garza (+145)
Tony Ferguson (-270) vs. Michael Johnson (+210)
John Dodson (-400) vs. Tim Elliot (+300)*
Pascal Krause (-140) vs. John Hathaway (+110)*
John Linker (-150) vs. Louis Gaudinot (+120)*
John Cholish (-130) vs. Danny Castillo (EV)*
Roland Delorme (-130) vs. Nick Denis (EV)*
Mike Massenzio (-185) vs. Karlos Vemola (+145)*

*These lines are taken from Opposingviews.com, which has far different lines than BestFightOdds for the main card fights. They are the only site, however, with current odds for the given fights.

Thoughts…

Main Card
Jim Miller (-220) vs. Nate Diaz (+180)
Pat Barry (-210) vs. Lavar Johnson (+175)
Johny Hendricks (-120) vs. Josh Koscheck (+100)
Rousimar Palhares (-280) vs. Alan Belcher (+240)

*These lines are taken from Opposingviews.com, which has far different lines than BestFightOdds for the main card fights. They are the only site, however, with current odds for the given fights.

Thoughts…

The Main Event: A lot is on the line for Nate Diaz come Saturday night. Sure, he’s looked nothing short of perfect in his victories over Takanori Gomi and Donald Cerrone, but Jim Miller is not a technically flawed striker in the twilight of his career, nor is he a brawler that will let his pre-fight emotions get the best of him. We all know that this fight is going to come down to a Diaz’s ability to stop a takedown, which has proved to be their undoing time and time again. That being said, we will NEVER count a Diaz out. Their ability to make a fighter look completely off their game is second to none, and they have few holes in their game to exploit (wrestling aside, of course). We’d recommend keeping Miller in your parlay, but placing a decent-sized side wager on Diaz is definitely a smart move.

The Dogs: Anytime Josh Koscheck is listed as an underdog, it’s probably worth your time (unless he’s fighting GSP). A bet on him won’t get you much in return, but the same goes twice over for Hendricks. There are several things to consider when looking at this matchup. First off, let’s look at the obvious: both guys come from a wrestling background, and both guys have solid power in their hands. Secondly, let’s look at their last fights: Kos looked rather one-dimensional in his squeaker victory over Mike Pierce, whereas Hendricks showed us that he only needs one punch to turn your lights off against Jon Fitch. Where you want to place your bet is mainly dependent on whether or not you think Hendricks will be able to defend Kos’ takedowns, or whether he can finish him before he’ll have to. Then again, maybe Koscheck’s new training camp has helped him add a few tools to his toolbox. What we’re saying is; a vote for Koscheck is a vote for tools.

At +240, Alan Belcher would look pretty damn tempting…if he wasn’t fighting a genetically engineered, psychopathic wildebeest in Rousimar Palhares. With and ever-improving striking game, as documented in his typically disorienting win over Dan Miller, ”Toquinho” has made the step up from “mini-Hulk” to full-on “eater of worlds,” and there’s nothing we can do to stop him. Unless Belcher catches Palhares early, he is going to be limping out of that octagon. The ONLY reason we are going to place a small bet on “The Talent” is because of the large chance that this fight will end by some form of DQ as a result of Palhares’ frenetic incompetence. Also, we’re masochists. Also, Belcher’s Johnny Cash tattoo.

As for the undercard, one name that stands out is John Hathaway. For a while, many people thought he was going to be the next big thing at 170. A loss to Mike Pyle all but derailed his hype train, and the fact that he’s spent a year on the shelf doesn’t help matters. Until you look at Pascal Krauss, that is, who has spent even more time on the shelf nursing various injuries, and whose only UFC win came over a late injury replacement. Hathaway should have this, just like he would have had it if these two had met at UFC 138 like God intended.

Stay the Hell Away From: The Lavar Johnson/Barry brawl. Barry is undoubtedly the more technical striker, but Johnson has a pair of Mac trucks at the end of his arms, and we’ve seen Barry fall to an inferior striker before (seriously, TRY and convince us Cheick Kongo was anything but). We think Barry will be able to catch Johnson first, but if you really want to place money on this one, save it for a prop bet on whether or not the fight lasts over a round and a half. Our bet is it doesn’t.

Official CagePotato Parlay: Miller + Palhares + Ferguson

Suggested stake for a $50 wager
$25 on the parlay
$10 on a Diaz-Hathaway parlay
$10 on Koscheck
$5 on Belcher

-J. Jones

Knockout(s) of the Day: Paul Calland’s Spinning Backfist Destruction of Lewis Bailey, Johnson/Beltran & Barry/Morecraft Fights Released Online

(Props to IronForgesIron for the vid.)

Yesterday, UK based promotion X-treme Combat held its sixth mixed combat event in Cumbria, North West England. Featuring amateur boxing, semi-pro boxing, and kickboxing matches, the evening was highlighted by a K1-style rules bout between FlexMMA product Lewis Bailey and Salfrod MMA’s Paul Calland. Held in an octagon that can only be described as “replica size” with two of the most eager ringside announcers in recent memory calling the action, the scrap featured several back and forth exchanges in its brief duration.

After whiffing a head kick around the 2:40 mark, Calland decides to turn a turd into gold by unleashing a wild spinning backfist as a follow up. A backfist so wild, in fact, that it wasn’t really a spinning backfist at all, but more of a sloppy, unintentional spinning elbow ala Jon Jones. In either case, it catches Bailey completely off guard, rendering him unconscious before he can even fall to the canvas like a rapidly deflating balloon. Now, our Pikey may be a little rusty, but we believe one of the announcers referred to the shot as “a poop,” which references the fact that Bailey likely shit himself after being hit with such a powerful blow.

And while we’re discussing all things KO-related, we’ve got to give some props to FUEL TV, who recently released full, crystal clear videos of the Lavar Johnson/Joey Beltran and Pat Barry/Christian Morecraft scraps from January’s UFC on FX: Guillard vs. Miller card to hype up Barry and Johnson’s upcoming clash at UFC on FOX 3. Both were exciting brawls to say the least, and both ended by way of violent KO, so check them out after the jump.

(Props to IronForgesIron for the vid.)

Barry vs. Morecraft

You gotta feel for Christian Morecraft. The poor bastard has easily lost five years off his life thanks to the combined powers of Barry, Matt Mitrione, and Stefan Struve, and we can’t even remember who his lone UFC victory came against. Or perhaps we just don’t want to. Let’s hope Morecraft can bounce back in his next octagon appearance, because to our knowledge, he is still employed by Zuffa, right?

Johnson vs. Beltran

After Joey Beltran’s three round war with Barry at UFC: Fight for the Troops 2 in January of 2011, we thought it would be damn near impossible to “The Mexicutioner,” but leave it to a man who calls himself “Big Johnson” to prove us wrong. Turns out, Johnson must have unlodged about 20 pounds of undigested read meat from Beltran’s colon with that series of uppercuts, because Beltran looks like a completely different person nowadays, and has already picked up a UD win over Anton Talamante last weekend in his light-heavyweight debut.

-J. Jones