It’s Saturday! Do you know what that means? A day off from the drudgery of office life in middle class America? A lackluster UFC card with a $60 price tag? Unfit for television jobber matches on UFC fight pass? None of these. Saturday means CagePotato’s Martial Arts Fail of the Week!
Last time, we had a bona fide ninja (or as bona fide as a ninja can be) teach us one of Ninjitsu’s most esoteric guard passes. This week, however, we’re revisiting an old friend—Master Wong, of “don’t poke him in the eye or he’ll kill your whole family” fame.
It’s Saturday! Do you know what that means? A day off from the drudgery of office life in middle class America? A lackluster UFC card with a $60 price tag? Unfit for television jobber matches on UFC fight pass? None of these. Saturday means CagePotato’s Martial Arts Fail of the Week!
Last time, we had a bona fide ninja (or as bona fide as a ninja can be) teach us one of Ninjitsu’s most esoteric guard passes. This week, however, we’re revisiting an old friend—Master Wong, of “don’t poke him in the eye or he’ll kill your whole family” fame.
What is the Master teaching us this week? How to best boxers in a street fight. But these boxers are special. They pump “steroids up the asshole” and still wear their boxing gloves while fighting in parking lots (so they don’t break their hands and ruin their ability to “grab titty”). What’s Master Wong’s secret to putting down pugilists? Is it takedowns? Leg kicks? You’ll have to watch and see. We promise that it’s worth you’re time. We give the video the CagePotato Guarantee™.
If you see any video that’s good (or bad) enough to make the cut, let us know! Send it to [email protected]
This week’s Martial Arts Fail was going to re-visit Master Wong—the man who warned us that eye pokes would result in our families being murdered. But midway through the week we received a tip from CagePotato contributor Adam Ackerman. When we watched the video he sent us, we knew it had to be this week’s Martial Arts Fail.
This week’s Martial Arts Fail was going to re-visit Master Wong—the man who warned us that eye pokes would result in our families being murdered. But midway through the week we received a tip from CagePotato contributor Adam Ackerman. When we watched the video he sent us, we knew it had to be this week’s Martial Arts Fail.
The video details how to pass someone’s guard (or “scissor lock” as they call it in the video) like a ninja. It involves flopping onto your side and doing what amounts to a pro wrestling move called a single leg Boston crab. What’s sad is that the instructor, Stephen K. Hayes, is apparently some kind of ninjitsu legend. He even has a Wikipedia page (but then again, so do we and we don’t exactly epitomize legitimacy). If dubious, impractical techniques like this are being taught by the best instructor ninjitsu has to offer, god only knows what kind of crap you’ll find in the bad ninjitsu schools.
Definitely give this video a watch. And if you’re brave, test out this ninja guard pass next time you’re rolling.
If you see any video that’s good (or bad) enough to make the cut, let us know! Send it to [email protected]
Remember those idiots who taught us BJJ’s five fatal weaknesses (spaz punches and bright red pants being chief among them)?
Well, they’re back. This time, the same “school”—Combatant Extreme Self Defense—is taking on wrestling.
And it’s legit…or at least legit in the sense that the guys who peddle this crap actually believe it works. It doesn’t though. There are more things wrong with this takedown “defense” than are wrong with Vitor Belfort‘s sudden removal from his UFC 173 title bout against Chris Weidman. Let’s just say this: Count yourself lucky if you wind up in a street fight with a “wrestler” who opts to grab your rear leg on a single leg takedown, let alone make thousands of other mistakes.
Stay tuned for next week’s traditional martial art’s fail, where another favorite from the past will be telling us how to defeat boxing with deadly street smarts.
If you see any video that’s good (or bad) enough to make the cut, let us know! Send it to [email protected].
Remember those idiots who taught us BJJ’s five fatal weaknesses (spaz punches and bright red pants being chief among them)?
They’re back. This time, the same “school”—Combatant Extreme Self Defense—is taking on wrestling.
And it’s legit…or at least legit in the sense that the guys who peddle this crap actually believe it works. It doesn’t though. There are more things wrong with this takedown “defense” than are wrong with Vitor Belfort‘s sudden removal from his UFC 173 title bout against Chris Weidman. Let’s just say this: Count yourself lucky if you wind up in a street fight with a “wrestler” who opts to grab your rear leg on a single leg takedown, let alone make thousands of other mistakes.
Stay tuned for next week’s traditional martial art’s fail, where another favorite from the past will be telling us how to defeat boxing with deadly street smarts.
If you see any video that’s good (or bad) enough to make the cut, let us know! Send it to [email protected].
(If you wear socks like the male instructor, you will ALWAYS be bullied)
Ever been bullied?
If so, how did you stop your grade-school foes? Did you beat them up with a hat? Stymie them with thousands of spaz punches? Use the force?
What about slapping them in the nuts? What, you’ve never done that!? According to this week’s martial arts fail, that’s one of the key techniques in the fight against bullying.
Seriously, you need to watch this video. Here’s just a short highlight reel of what it includes:
-Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.
-The defense for the all-too-powerful “you’ve got something on your shirt” maneuver.
-“Stun techniques and dirty tricks.”
-Pulling someones hair and then doing absolutely nothing to follow it up.
-Groin-slapping.
-Throwing candy in someone’s face as a self-defense move (I wish I was making this part up).
Please watch the video, it’ll be worth it. We promise. This is the exact kind of horrific, “self-defense” advice that Ben Goldstein and I sought to destroy when we were storming dojos back in the 90s, testing our SAFTA. But as we got up there in years, we decided to purge martial chicanery with articles on a middling MMA website rather than with our fists.
Enjoy!
Thanks to CagePotato reader James Hays for sending us this video. If you see any video that’s good (or bad) enough to make the cut, let us know! Send it to [email protected]
(If you wear socks like the male instructor, you will ALWAYS be bullied)
Ever been bullied?
If so, how did you stop your grade-school foes? Did you beat them up with a hat? Stymie them with thousands of spaz punches? Use the force?
What about slapping them in the nuts? What, you’ve never done that!? According to this week’s martial arts fail, that’s one of the key techniques in the fight against bullying.
Seriously, you need to watch this video. Here’s just a short highlight reel of what it includes:
-Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.
-The defense for the all-too-powerful “you’ve got something on your shirt” maneuver.
-”Stun techniques and dirty tricks.”
-Pulling someones hair and then doing absolutely nothing to follow it up.
-Groin-slapping.
-Throwing candy in someone’s face as a self-defense move (I wish I was making this part up).
Please watch the video, it’ll be worth it. We promise. This is the exact kind of horrific, “self-defense” advice that Ben Goldstein and I sought to destroy when we were storming dojos back in the 90s, testing our SAFTA. But as we got up there in years, we decided to purge martial chicanery with articles on a middling MMA website rather than with our fists.
Enjoy!
Thanks to CagePotato reader James Hays for sending us this video. If you see any video that’s good (or bad) enough to make the cut, let us know! Send it to [email protected]
Our friends at Break.com made a great discovery that we’re happy to present as our Martial Arts Fail of the Week: A guy named James Keating who peddles hat-based self defense techniques.
The hat in question, or rather a “SAP CAP” is special. Keating himself wrote all about it:
The term SAP refers to a flexible, weighted impact device. A common sock (stocking) filled with sand is a crude form of sap. The weighted leather – flexible saps are used by some police units even today. The SAP CAP reflects this idea, but in a form less recognizable as an item of defense. And in today’s world this aspect is a real plus!
The basic idea behind using the sap cap is very simple. Reach up with one hand, grab the bill of the cap and the swing it off your head toward your intended target. Any number of angles, lines and moves can be incorporated. You’ve basically got a flexible club in your mitts, use it as such.
To put it in less suburban ninja terms, it’s basically a baseball cap filled with BBs. Cool.
The guy also sells videos of how to fight with a tomahawk. In addition to this, he’s a fan of compliant wrist lock drills that magically render the opponent unable to hit you with his other arm, as well as other crap that would only work in The Matrix.
You can check out his YouTube channel here. It’s filled with 21-foot-rule guy type nonsense.
If you see any video that’s good (or bad) enough to make the cut, let us know! Send it to [email protected]
Our friends at Break.com made a great discovery that we’re happy to present as our Martial Arts Fail of the Week: A guy named James Keating who peddles hat-based self defense techniques.
The hat in question, or rather a “SAP CAP” is special. Keating himself wrote all about it:
The term SAP refers to a flexible, weighted impact device. A common sock (stocking) filled with sand is a crude form of sap. The weighted leather – flexible saps are used by some police units even today. The SAP CAP reflects this idea, but in a form less recognizable as an item of defense. And in today’s world this aspect is a real plus!
The basic idea behind using the sap cap is very simple. Reach up with one hand, grab the bill of the cap and the swing it off your head toward your intended target. Any number of angles, lines and moves can be incorporated. You’ve basically got a flexible club in your mitts, use it as such.
To put it in less suburban ninja terms, it’s basically a baseball cap filled with BBs. Cool.
The guy also sells videos of how to fight with a tomahawk. In addition to this, he’s a fan of compliant wrist lock drills that magically render the opponent unable to hit you with his other arm, as well as other crap that would only work in The Matrix.
You can check out his YouTube channel here. It’s filled with 21-foot-rule guy type nonsense. Enjoy.
If you see any video that’s good (or bad) enough to make the cut, let us know! Send it to [email protected]
(These techniques only work if you SCREAM AS LOUD AS YOU CAN THE ENTIRE TIME)
Despite MMA’s emergence into world, people still believe training non-contact spaz punches and flaccid, weak throws against compliant opponents will teach you how to be an unstoppable, street-lethal badass—a wrecking machine not unlike, shall we say, John Kreese or Terry Silver of The Karate Kid franchise fame.
That’s right! This week on CagePotato’s Martial Arts Fail we’re highlighting (or lowlighting) the teachings of a Kung Fu dojo that presumably named itself after the brutal, take-no-shit, antagonistic Cobra Kai karate dojo from The Karate Kid. And trust us, these guys make the strip mall karate from the film look like a violent, unquestionably legit blood sport.
Regarding the actual “technique” in the video. Well, I hope all my opponents line up single file and wait for me if I ever get into a street fight…and stop fighting immediately after feinting a front kick their way…and then fall to the ground when I do a quasi sweep on them.
The school’s YouTube account has been dormant for three years. In addition to the video above, there are about a dozen others that are just as bad—including one with the world’s worst armbar. We suggest paying their channel a visit and watching them if you’re in need of a laugh or two.
If you see any video that’s good (or bad) enough to make the cut, let us know! Send it to [email protected]
(These techniques only work if you SCREAM AS LOUD AS YOU CAN THE ENTIRE TIME)
Despite MMA’s emergence into world, people still believe training non-contact spaz punches and flaccid, weak throws against compliant opponents will teach you how to be an unstoppable, street-lethal badass—a wrecking machine not unlike, shall we say, John Kreese or Terry Silver of The Karate Kid franchise fame.
That’s right! This week on CagePotato’s Martial Arts Fail we’re highlighting (or lowlighting) the teachings of a Kung Fu dojo that presumably named itself after the brutal, take-no-shit, antagonistic Cobra Kai karate dojo from The Karate Kid. And trust us, these guys make the strip mall karate from the film look like a violent, unquestionably legit blood sport.
Regarding the actual “technique” in the video. Well, I hope all my opponents line up single file and wait for me if I ever get into a street fight…and stop fighting immediately after feinting a front kick their way…and then fall to the ground when I do a quasi sweep on them.
The school’s YouTube account has been dormant for three years. In addition to the video above, there are about a dozen others that are just as bad—including one with the world’s worst armbar. We suggest paying their channel a visit and watching them if you’re in need of a laugh or two.
If you see any video that’s good (or bad) enough to make the cut, let us know! Send it to [email protected]