Tag: martial arts

Martial Arts Fail of the Week: Defeat Attackers By Staring At Them and Stop Swords With Your Mind

Another weekend means another Martial Arts Fail of the Week!

Today we have a Bullshido master who’s EVEN WORSE than the Finnish chi master who telepathically subdued his foes.

His name is Masanori Abe, and his powers are so lethal he can drop you to the canvas with just a stare! Watch the above video for proof.

This guy is also a master swordsman–and not through years of training and lightning-quick reflexes, but through magic. In the below video, watch him stop his opponent’s training swords through pure mental fortitude. Check it out after the jump.

Another weekend means another Martial Arts Fail of the Week!

Today we have a Bullshido master who’s EVEN WORSE than the Finnish chi master who telepathically subdued his foes.

His name is Masanori Abe, and his powers are so lethal he can drop you to the canvas with just a stare! Watch the above video for proof. Rumor has it he developed this technique by watching Care Bears.

This guy is also a master swordsman–and due to years of training and lightning-quick reflexes, but through magic. In the below video, watch him stop his opponent’s training swords through pure mental fortitude:

What’s his story? Well, we’re not sure. His Facebook page has been around for less than a month, and a Google search yielded nothing. All we found was the Facebook page, his YouTube videos, and other Facebook pages linking to the videos. Weird.

To borrow Brian Kilmeade’s words about Scott Morris at UFC 2, “We don’t know much about him, because he is a ninja.”

We don’t know much about Abe because he’s a mysterious chi master. He probably lives atop a mountain, and only trains those with the determination and mettle to reach the summit. By that, we mean he probably drives a truck and will teach anyone whose checks cash.

If the garbled translations Facebook offered are anything to go by, he apparently teaches at a place called Kenmochi Martial Arts Center in Kama, Japan. We Googled this and nothing appeared. Maybe only those with the heart of a pure martial artist can see the website. Who knows.

For what it’s worth, here’s a passage from their Facebook page, translation via Facebook:

To the facebook page of the Japan kenmochi martial arts center-flow military family Association Headquarters there.

Japan Kobudo preservation association and the military family Association on mental martial arts through the ancient martial arts of Japan with 1300 years of history “to bow beginning to end with general education, intended to bequeath to future generations the spirit and skills together with the sound development of the mind and body. “The aim of the Japanese Old Martial Arts Studying and Training Association is bring the body and spirit up healthy with training and studying the spirit and culture of Samurai Budo as”the a of with end and with Start a bow bow”based on the history of more than 1,300 years and to pass those spirits and arts to the future. Can tour? s introduction of recruiting”Division training and experience. ? Wed-Fri 19: 30-21: 00 Sun 13:30-17:00 ? Japan kenmochi martial arts center-flow military family of Soke Shihan Okuma Shigenobu

Yeah, not the clearest. Perhaps deciphering the Engrish is just another part of the test to determine whether you’re worthy of learning the techniques.

Keep in mind this dude’s stuff is so ridiculous he MAY be doing a parody of a Bullshido guy. Then again, there were people legitimately trying to present Balinese White Magic as the world’s greatest martial art, so you never know. We’re going to keep looking for information and see if this is a real thing or just a parody. In the mean time, check out another video of him destroying his students with the Force:

By the way, this edition comes from a tip sent by Cameron D. Thanks, Cameron!

If you see any video that’s good (or bad) enough to make the cut, let us know! Send it to [email protected].

Willie Nelson Earns Fifth-Degree Black Belt in a Martial Art You’ve Never Heard Of

(Props: USA Today)

GongKwon Yusul is a modern Korean martial art system that “emphasizes the application of striking, locking and throwing techniques in practical, free-flowing fighting situations,” and is influenced by Western boxing and the grappling techniques of judo and jiu-jitsu. Until this morning, I’d never heard of it. But apparently, 81-year-old country music legend Willie Nelson has been studying it for 20 years and just got his fifth-degree black belt in the martial art in Monday. Luckily, the video above doesn’t portray GongKwon Yusul as a Martial Arts Fail of the Week-worthy embarrassment, though we can’t help feeling a little skeptical when Willie discusses the board-breaking involved in the belt tests.

Whatever keeps the Red Headed Stranger happy and active is fine by us. That being said, we will go to our graves defending the superiority of Kuk Sool Won.


(Props: USA Today)

GongKwon Yusul is a modern Korean martial art system that “emphasizes the application of striking, locking and throwing techniques in practical, free-flowing fighting situations,” and is influenced by Western boxing and the grappling techniques of judo and jiu-jitsu. Until this morning, I’d never heard of it. But apparently, 81-year-old country music legend Willie Nelson has been studying it for 20 years and just got his fifth-degree black belt in the martial art in Monday. Luckily, the video above doesn’t portray GongKwon Yusul as a Martial Arts Fail of the Week-worthy embarrassment, though we can’t help feeling a little skeptical when Willie discusses the board-breaking involved in the belt tests.

Whatever keeps the Red Headed Stranger happy and active is fine by us. That being said, we will go to our graves defending the superiority of Kuk Sool Won.

Martial Arts Fail of the Week: This Makes Point Fighting Look Like Frye-Takayama

Remember last week’s Martial Arts Fail–the one with the worst karate demo known to man?

This week, we have a follow-up to that video in the form of a sparring match between two black belts from what appears to be the same school. That’s right, a sleuthing member of Reddit unearthed the dojo’s identity. Apparently, this Taekwondo McDojo is called the World Martial Arts Association and is headquartered in Brooklyn. If the words of an anonymous Redditor who claims to have once been a student can be believed, they charge $40 a class, and $600 per belt test. Here’s the full thread on Reddit, in case you’re interested in this sort of thing.

The funniest (or saddest) part, however, isn’t on Reddit or YouTube, but on the school’s own website…

Remember last week’s Martial Arts Fail–the one with the worst karate demo known to man?

This week, we have a follow-up to that video in the form of a sparring match between two black belts from what appears to be the same school. That’s right, a sleuthing member of Reddit unearthed the dojo’s identity. Apparently, this Taekwondo McDojo is called the World Martial Arts Association and is headquartered in Brooklyn. If the words of an anonymous Redditor who claims to have once been a student can be believed, they charge $40 a class, and $600 per belt test. Here’s the full thread on Reddit, in case you’re interested in this sort of thing.

The funniest (or saddest) part, however, isn’t on Reddit or YouTube, but on the school’s own website. It’s the obviously self-written bio for the school’s headmaster, which ends with the lines “He never hesitates to say that he brings his martial arts acumen to all these endeavors. He has been called by some a ‘Renaissance man.’” Wow. How’s that for pomposity?

And about the video? It pretty much speaks for itself. It’s atrocious non-fighting with some Street Fighter music passed off as legitimate martial arts. That kind of crap makes point-fighting look like some of MMA’s most physical brawls.

If you see any video that’s good (or bad) enough to make the cut, let us know! Send it to [email protected].

Martial Arts Fail of the Week: How to Stomp Out a Wrestler

Remember those idiots who taught us BJJ’s five fatal weaknesses (spaz punches and bright red pants being chief among them)?

Well, they’re back. This time, the same “school”—Combatant Extreme Self Defense—is taking on wrestling.

And it’s legit…or at least legit in the sense that the guys who peddle this crap actually believe it works. It doesn’t though. There are more things wrong with this takedown “defense” than are wrong with Vitor Belfort‘s sudden removal from his UFC 173 title bout against Chris Weidman. Let’s just say this: Count yourself lucky if you wind up in a street fight with a “wrestler” who opts to grab your rear leg on a single leg takedown, let alone make thousands of other mistakes.

Stay tuned for next week’s traditional martial art’s fail, where another favorite from the past will be telling us how to defeat boxing with deadly street smarts.

If you see any video that’s good (or bad) enough to make the cut, let us know! Send it to [email protected].

Remember those idiots who taught us BJJ’s five fatal weaknesses (spaz punches and bright red pants being chief among them)?

They’re back. This time, the same “school”—Combatant Extreme Self Defense—is taking on wrestling.

And it’s legit…or at least legit in the sense that the guys who peddle this crap actually believe it works. It doesn’t though. There are more things wrong with this takedown “defense” than are wrong with Vitor Belfort‘s sudden removal from his UFC 173 title bout against Chris Weidman. Let’s just say this: Count yourself lucky if you wind up in a street fight with a “wrestler” who opts to grab your rear leg on a single leg takedown, let alone make thousands of other mistakes.

Stay tuned for next week’s traditional martial art’s fail, where another favorite from the past will be telling us how to defeat boxing with deadly street smarts.

If you see any video that’s good (or bad) enough to make the cut, let us know! Send it to [email protected].

Martial Arts Fail of the Week: Stop a Knife Attack…WITH A TOWEL!


(They’re wearing camo so the technique must work.)

By Eric Linderman

Hey, everybody. I don’t know you, and you don’t know me. Frankly, I don’t care that you don’t care. But I’ve done this stuff for at least a decade, so I hope that adds some credibility to my destruction of bullshit martial arts techniques. I could go and list and all my belts and experiences, but really you don’t care. You just want to know this week’s Martial Arts Fail.

So what do you do in a knife attack? What is my defense? Do I stay out of range? Obviously not, because that would actually make sense. Do I get in really close? Yup, and not only do you get in really close but you also block and strip your attacker of his weapon.

I have seen a number of movies, YouTube videos and martial art seminar that come with a blistering array of stupid “katas” and series of moves to disarm a knife attack. As a result, it spawns all kind of stupidity.

Remember that movie Jason Bourne with Matt Damon? Yeah the one where he fights that foreign guy who has a knife and Matt Damon prevents being stabbed by stopping the knife wielder’s attacks with a towel? Yeah? Good. Sounds dumb when I spell it out don’t it?

Jump to the 1:10 mark to remind yourself.

In my time, I’ve had many good teachers and I’ve seen lots of crap. My problem with “cool moves” in action movies is that it spawns kids to go and find out what martial art style will teach them to fight “like that” or a martial art instructor who will teach them “crap” because it is what kids want to learn. So here, we go with stupidity demonstration number 1:


(They’re wearing camo so they must be for real.)

By Eric Linderman

Hey, everybody. I don’t know you, and you don’t know me. Frankly, I don’t care that you don’t care. But I’ve done this stuff for at least a decade, so I hope that adds some credibility to my destruction of bullshit martial arts techniques. I could go and list and all my belts and experiences, but really you don’t care. You just want to know this week’s Martial Arts Fail.

So what do you do in a knife attack? What is my defense? Do I stay out of range? Obviously not, because that would actually make sense. Do I get in really close? Yup, and not only do you get in really close but you also block and strip your attacker of his weapon.

I have seen a number of movies, YouTube videos and martial art seminar that come with a blistering array of stupid “katas” and series of moves to disarm a knife attack. As a result, it spawns all kind of stupidity.

Remember that movie Jason Bourne with Matt Damon? Yeah the one where he fights that foreign guy who has a knife and Matt Damon prevents being stabbed by stopping the knife wielder’s attacks with a towel? Yeah? Good. Sounds dumb when I spell it out don’t it?


Jump to the 1:10 mark to remind yourself.

In my time, I’ve had many good teachers and I’ve seen lots of crap. My problem with “cool moves” in action movies is that it spawns kids to go and find out what martial art style will teach them to fight “like that” or a martial art instructor who will teach them “crap” because it is what kids want to learn. So here, we go with stupidity demonstration number 1:

Personally, I like how the video starts with the title of “Real World Self Defense”. You know it has to be totally legit with a title like that. In fact, only menacing, bright red pants could make it more legit. In the video, you see a guy try to stab his victim only to leave his arm hanging out there. The heroine will STEP INTO HIS ATTACK and wrap his forearm in a towel and goes for a weak standing Americana, followed by a leg sweep. The attacker will allow all this to happen to him. That’ll work (that’s sarcasm if you couldn’t tell). The situation of being attacked with a knife while you’re holding a towel is so circumstantial anyway. Do people just prowl the streets clutching towels for safety in case of knife attacks?

Moving on to stupidity demonstration number 2:

This guy is much more legit because his attacker uses a shock knife and because it’s “In the name of science” (yeah he really says that). He is going to show you how to disarm a guy with a knife.

This clip is a little better in terms that the attacker doesn’t leave his arm out there. However, the attack is a bit over committed and the victim does the same thing by stepping into the attack! Not only does he step into the attack but also he goes to grab the arm and work his way down to the weapon. Seemed great right? Maybe you are thinking, “Wow, this guy’s Kali system really works!” WRONG. Notice the attacker does nothing to respond to being attacked. The attacker is not fighting back but instead is entirely concerned about losing the knife. Towards the end of the video, the victim is in a turtle position completely open for any secondary attackers and potentially just knees and punches to head from the primary attacker, while they scramble for this knife. I’m still confused as to how he disarms him. It looks more like the attacker just let go of the knife and ran away hysterically.

If you know where this stuff is taught legitimately, please tell us!

Let’s quickly discuss the reality of a fight between a guy with a knife and a guy without one.

I have never seen a self-defense technique that is foolproof against a knife attack; such strikes are dynamic and it’s difficult to protect oneself against them. Lyoto Machida is the master of getting out of the way of being attacked and he still gets knocked out!

Anyone who teaches a foolproof system is full of more crap than Yoel Romero. A knife attack is quick, up close and personal, and it is $&#@ing brutal! There seems to be two schools of thought: Some people teach this concept of grabbing the weapon hand, and other people teach to strike the attacker and forget the weapon hand. There is nothing that I have found to date that is 100% functional. If you have the unfortunate experience of getting into a confrontation with a person with a knife. Expect to get cut.

So what do I say to you? I would recommend that you get out of the way. No one will ever criticize you for giving up your wallet to guy with a knife. People will criticize you for trying to fight a guy who had a knife (unless your name is Guy Mezger).

If you see any video that’s good (or bad) enough to make the cut, let us know! Send it to [email protected]

Awful Video of the Day: The McDojo 5th-Degree Black Belt Test

(What you’re about to see…is real. Props: THEWMAAChannel via Reddit/MMA)

You may have already read the depressing accounts of “McDojo”-type martial arts schools written by our own Brian J. D’Souza and Seth Falvo, but here’s some visual proof that the culture of bullshit, bastardized karate/kung fu/whatever is alive and kicking (no pun intended), and still being swallowed up by gullible cult-members.

The above video shows a 5th-degree black belt test held by the World Martial Arts Association, based in Brooklyn, New York. Forget the fact that all these guys move like hyperactive yellow belts, and would all be smashed by anybody with four months of actual striking or grappling training — they’re grandmasters, every last one. Be sure to watch to the end to see a woefully out-of-sync kata demonstration, in which grown-ass men all try desperately to be the first one to finish. IT’S NOT A RACE, TIMMY.

After the jump, “headmaster” Michael T. Dealy freestyles against three attackers. You have never seen so many kicks blocked with forearms in your entire life. Lots more here.


(What you’re about to see…is real. Props: THEWMAAChannel via Reddit/MMA)

You may have already read the depressing accounts of “McDojo”-type martial arts schools written by our own Brian J. D’Souza and Seth Falvo, but here’s some visual proof that the culture of bullshit, bastardized karate/kung fu/whatever is alive and kicking (no pun intended), and still being swallowed up by gullible cult-members.

The above video shows a 5th-degree black belt test held by the World Martial Arts Association, based in Brooklyn, New York. Forget the fact that all these guys move like hyperactive yellow belts, and would all be smashed by anybody with four months of actual striking or grappling training — they’re grandmasters, every last one. Be sure to watch to the end to see a woefully out-of-sync kata demonstration, in which grown-ass men all try desperately to be the first one to finish. IT’S NOT A RACE, TIMMY.

After the jump, “headmaster” Michael T. Dealy freestyles against three attackers. You have never seen so many kicks blocked with forearms in your entire life. Lots more here.