Gina Carano Hits Theaters on April 22; Male Co-Stars Cowering in Terror

(Dinner better be waiting, or else. Photo via gina-carano.org)
Just a quick update on Haywire, that Steven Soderbergh-directed action flick starring former (?) MMA fighter Gina Carano as a freelance covert operative who has to fight for her life…

Gina Carano vogue Haywire MMA soderbergh magazine photo photos
(Dinner better be waiting, or else. Photo via gina-carano.org)

Just a quick update on Haywire, that Steven Soderbergh-directed action flick starring former (?) MMA fighter Gina Carano as a freelance covert operative who has to fight for her life after one of her gigs goes FUBAR. The new release date is April 22nd — for real this time — and the flick will no doubt be blown out of the water by the latest Madea poop-bomb from Tyler Perry. TheFilmStage.com passes along another detail from the shoot:

[Soderbergh] shared the pretty funny note that the film’s star Gina Carano, an MMA fighter herself, scared off some male stars* as they apparently weren’t comfortable with the idea of being beaten up by a woman onscreen…For fans of action set-pieces, they may be interested to know that there’s a “hotel suite sequence”** that the director describes as “fun.”***

* Judging from the cast, we can safely assume that either Channing Tatum, Ewan McGregor, Antonio Banderas, or Bill Paxton is a giant pussy.

** Whoa. You mean like a sex tape?

*** Dog, you didn’t.

‘Locked Down’ Caption Contest: The Winners!

(Images courtesy of AllElbows/Versus, Lionsgate.)
After wading through 178 entries for Friday’s caption contest, one thing is certain: You guys really love The Human Centipede. Not sure what’s up with that. Anyway, we’re psyched to give awa…

Urijah Faber Takeya Mizugaki Josh Rosenthal WEC 52Locked Down DVD Vinne Jones Kimbo Slice Rashad Evans MMA
(Images courtesy of AllElbows/VersusLionsgate.)

After wading through 178 entries for Friday’s caption contest, one thing is certain: You guys really love The Human Centipede. Not sure what’s up with that. Anyway, we’re psyched to give away some DVD/Blu-Ray combo packs for the new beat-’em-up flick Locked Down — a film that thankfully does not feature three people who have their gastrointestinal tracts sewn together by an insane German doctor. But first, we feel obligated to print a few captions that just fell short of the glory. Y’know, just to ratchet up the suspense…

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Caption Contest: Win a ‘Locked Down’ DVD/Blu-Ray Combo Pack!

(Image courtesy of LionsGate)
As we mentioned in last week’s Most Bizarre Submissions list, the prison-MMA flick Locked Down was just released on DVD and Blu-Ray, and we’d like to give away some copies. (Full disclosure: I haven’t seen the movie yet,…


(Image courtesy of LionsGate)

As we mentioned in last week’s Most Bizarre Submissions list, the prison-MMA flick Locked Down was just released on DVD and Blu-Ray, and we’d like to give away some copies. (Full disclosure: I haven’t seen the movie yet, but there’s already Oscar buzz around Rashad Evans’s performance. Plus, Kimbo Slice threatens to smush somebody’s shit in at one point.)

Speaking of "locked down," Takeya Mizugaki got LOCKED, THE EFF, DOWN last night at WEC 52 when Urijah Faber caught him in a rear-naked choke, putting him to sleep for an uncomfortably long period of time. A killer photo from the stoppage is after the jump, courtesy of AllElbows/Versus. Come up with a clever caption to the photo, and post it in the comments section below by Sunday night at midnight ET. We’ll post our four favorites on Monday; the winners will receive a Locked Down DVD/Blu-Ray combo pack. Props to LionsGate for making this possible, and good luck to all of you…

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‘Keep Your Expectations Low’ Alert: Kevin James to Film UFC-Themed Comedy

("The guy has titties. I couldn’t do a comedy bit next to a guy with titties. For real." Props: Spike.com)
Comic actor Kevin James has long been a familiar face at UFC events, so we suppose it was only a matter of time before this happened….

Kevin James Quinton Rampage Jackson Paul Blart Mall Cop Spike
("The guy has titties. I couldn’t do a comedy bit next to a guy with titties. For real." Props: Spike.com)

Comic actor Kevin James has long been a familiar face at UFC events, so we suppose it was only a matter of time before this happened. According to a report on deadline.com (via MMAMania) the star of such critically acclaimed films as Grown Ups and Paul Blart: Mall Cop has his next masterpiece in the works, and yep, it’s MMA-related:

James is attached to play a physics teacher whose school faces drastic cutbacks. In an attempt to save his best friend’s job and the music program his students love, he moonlights in the octagon as a mixed martial arts fighter, ultimately leading to brawling in the UFC. The film is on a fast track, and production presidents Matt Tolmach and Doug Belgrad hope to get it into production next year.

I know what you’re thinking — the idea of shlubby-ass Kevin James getting a UFC contract is way too far-fetched, even in the context of a screwball comedy. But remember, Roy Nelson was an untrained paralegal with no MMA experience before going on TUF 10, and you all saw how well that worked out. One more thing: The music-teacher best friend in the movie? I’m willing to bet that the role will be an embarrassing gay stereotype played by Rob Schneider. Seriously, you all have to pay me five bucks if I’m right.

‘Beatdown’ Caption Contest, Part 2 — The Winners!

Thanks to everybody who submitted captions for our second Beatdown caption contest we had more entries for this one in the first hour than our entire Boston Fan Expo Lackey contest, which is both telling and hurtful.
Serously, who wou…

Rich Franklin Michael Jackson impersonator funny MMA photo

Thanks to everybody who submitted captions for our second Beatdown caption contest we had more entries for this one in the first hour than our entire Boston Fan Expo Lackey contest, which is both telling and hurtful.

Serously, who wouldn’t want to hang with Ben and ReX13 for a weekend in beantown? Rex might have even shared some of his sweet dance moves with you.

So who will get to enjoy Beatdown in the privacy of their own home? First some honorable mentions…

"I always knew fighting would get me chicks, but god damn! an orgy with 4 girls!? LUCKY ME!" -Professor MMA

"Only after one of the girls asks Rich exactly what a BJ-J is, Does he realize he signed up for the wrong seminar and it clicks why MJ is the instructor." -El Supreme Nacho

"Photographic proof that Michael Jackson is indeed in hell." -Beelzebuddy

"…Rich wakes up with a throbbing headache. He’s in a motel room he doesn’t recognise. He can’t seem to remember how he got there. He swears he only had the one drink. There’s a photo of him and three chicks with a Michael Jackson impersonator on a camera by the bed. "Weird", he thinks aloud. He hears a shower running. He’s starting to think he might have taken the girls back here for a night of "Rich creamy love", as he calls it. He hears high-pitched giggling from the bathroom, a smile spreads across his face.
Then he sees it, a white sequined glove on the bedside table…"
-Rear Naked Poke who painted such a vivid picture it was somewhat disturbing.

And now the winners…

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‘Beatdown’ Caption Contest #2: Franklin vs. Jackson

As promised, we’re giving you another opportunity to win a copy of the MMA flick Beatdown, out now on DVD and Blu-Ray. The rules are simple: Check out the photo after the jump of Rich Franklin and his buddies, and post a clever caption in the co…

Beatdown movie cover Bisping Lashley Youngblood Trejo

As promised, we’re giving you another opportunity to win a copy of the MMA flick Beatdown, out now on DVD and Blu-Ray. The rules are simple: Check out the photo after the jump of Rich Franklin and his buddies, and post a clever caption in the comments section below by tonight at midnight PT. We’ll announce our four favorites tomorrow, and you’ll bitch about how you thought yours was funnier. Now let’s get it…

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