(Who just called me a thief?! Was it you?! I am an undisclosed investment opportunist you son of a bitch, so get your shit straight!)
If there’s one thing we know about Chael Sonnen, it’s that he can hurl insults at other fighters, reporters, and entire countries with the lyrical ostentation of an 18th century poet (we also hear he’s an OK fighter as well). His ability to string together an eight or nine word sentence without having “uh” or “you know” constitute at least three of those words puts him head and shoulders above a lot of his peers (Junior Dos Santos is trying, you guys, leave him alone), so much so that he can almost convince us that Big Nog once tried to feed a carrot to a bus without sounding like a sundowning centenarian in the midst of an LSD flashback while doing so. Almost.
That being the case, you’d imagine that Sonnen would be able to take a joke, or at least an awkward question in stride, because those who cast stones at other people should expect stones to be cast at them, or whatever it is that they say. I’m not looking it up. But more often than not, this is not the case for the shit-spewing, trash-talkers of the world. Such is the case with Mr. Sonnen, who has shown us in such memorable moments as “Amateur Hour with Michael Lansberg” that he can’t exactly take it as well as he can dish it out.
Sonnen recently appeared on the John Canzano-hosted “Portland’s 750 -The Game” to promote his upcoming rematch with Anderson Silva at UFC 148, and when the subject of his past legal troubles came up, let’s just say that Chael went from about 0-100 faster than a McLaren F1 with Memphis Raines behind the wheel. And don’t think for a second that we don’t see the irony in poking fun at Chael Sonnen while at the same time lambasting him for excessively poking fun at other fighters. The Internet gives us a Diplomatic Immunity to do so and not even Roger Murtaugh can revoke it.
A full transcription of the exchange is below, compliments of our buddies at Fightlinker:
Canzano: You came on the show a couple years ago, since that time you’ve had the Anderson Silva fight, you got the suspension for the testosterone levels, you got the guilty plea in the mortgage fraud thing in 2011…how much of that stuff is behind you? How much of that stuff are you still dealing with?
Sonnen: Uh…It’s all behind me. I’ve never been in any sort of mortgage fraud, I’m not sure where you guys get that term up. But every time I come on your show you make new things up…so. I guess it’s good. I hope you’re not still beating your wife, John.
Canzano: Oh c’mon. You didn’t plead guilty to any kind of crime?
Sonnen: Well sure, but is that what you just said? Or did you state a crime, as you do every time I come on the show and say things that aren’t true. And I said I hope that you still don’t beat your wife.
Canzano: I said that you pled guilty to mortgage fraud…
Sonnen: Right, and I said that I hope you don’t beat your wife and I was never even accused of mortgage fraud.
Canzano: What was it? Money laundering?
Sonnen: There you go!
Canzano: Okay, so it was money laundering. …In connection to a mortgage.
Sonnen: But you can see the problem when I come onto your show and you make things up. Don’t you see the problem when a hometown guy comes on and you make things up? This is why I don’t like to do your show. You’re unprepared, you’re unprofessional.
Canzano: Look, I’m looking right here at the research. I’m looking at the case…
Sonnen: You’re looking at the research?! I guarantee I know what you’re looking at, you did Google. ANd I’m glad that you admitted it on the air that that’s your level of research, John. You’re about the most unprofessional guy there is. And, boy, I hope you’re done beating your wife. Let’s just call the interview over.
Canzano: Chael! Come on, man! Seriously?
*Sonnen hangs up*
As you can see, this reporter was clearly out to get Sonnen, having nothing but his own personal gains in mind, hence the true middleweight champion’s appropriate retaliation. Money laundering is one thing, but MORTGAGE FRAUD?! He’s not a monster, for Christ’s sake! That’s like calling someone who has a few speeding tickets a rapist!! How this so called “disc jockey” had the intestinal fortitude to imply that Sonnen would use his position in the real estate business to swindle people out of their hard-earned money is just insane. Sonnen simply took their money under the false pretense that his people would make “repairs” to their homes, repairs that he secretly knew would never actually be carried out. The gall of this guy!
Help us vent our frustrations at this DJ’s narrow-minded insolence in the comment section.