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And Now He’s Retired: Tim Sylvia Retires Due to Morbid Obesity

(Tim Sylvia, in his bantamweight debut. / Photo via Getty)

UFC 182 was certainly the talk of the town this weekend, yet we couldn’t help but notice a former UFC Heavyweight Champion call it a day after going on an Arby’s world tour to train for his most recent bout.

According to The Underground, Maine’s own Tim Sylvia retired yesterday, shortly after his super-heavyweight fight against Juliano “Banana” Coutinho at Reality Fighting 53 was cancelled. Sylvia, who was planning on entering the battlefield at a whopping 371 pounds, was not cleared to fight by the Mohegan Tribe Department of Athletic Regulation at the Mohegan Sun Casino in Uncasville, CT., and thank the good Lord for that.

However, manager Monte Cox confirmed on Facebook there was a problem with his pre-fight MRI, and the bout was cancelled due to other issues apart from his weight. Nevertheless, the face-off picture of a bloated Timmeh surfaced on social media and MMA sites around the world, and that was enough for its experts to stare at it without blinking for the whole duration of the UFC 182 main card (except for the main event, of course).

(Tim Sylvia, in his bantamweight debut. / Photo via Getty)

On the tail end of a three-fight losing streak, last night would have been the 42nd time Sylvia competed in a professional MMA contest. As one of the proud Miletech boys fighting out of Bettendorf, IA., Sylvia made his debut at UFC 39, earning a TKO stoppage over Wesley “Cabbage” Correira. He would go on to win the heavyweight strap in his next fight, knocking out Ricco Rodriguez in one round at UFC 41. However, a failed post-fight drug test saw him stripped of the title after his win over Gan McGee at UFC 44.

After his arm was snapped like a wishbone courtesy of Frank Mir at UFC 48 for the vacant heavyweight title, Sylvia would lose to arch rival Andrei Arlovski shortly after, being his second unsuccessful attempt at claiming back his gold. After winning three fights in a row, “The Maine-iac” bested “The Pit Bull” to win back his title at UFC 59, and went up 2-1 in their rubber match at UFC 61. Considering their heavyweight trilogy was part of the UFC’s dark days, most fans will remember Sylvia’s title reign for the amount of times he showed up to the arena as a spectator with the belt around his waist, not to mention walking into restaurants with it on as he accompanied Matt Hughes to umpteen dosages of fried foods on UFC All Access.

Sylvia would eventually lose the belt to Randy Couture at UFC 68, and despite numerous title fights in the UFC, his loss against Pride champion Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira would be his last one, and ultimately, his final fight inside the Octagon.

He’s gone 7-6 with 1 “No Contest” (courtesy of a soccer kick from Arlovski at One FC 5 in their fourth bout) since then, losing to Fedor Emilianenko in 36 seconds, Ray Mercer in nine seconds, and Abe Wagner in 32 seconds. Apart from wins over Paul Buentello and Mariusz Pudzianowski, there hasn’t been much upside to his career as of late.

Hell, he even tried to get back into the UFC not long ago, but it wasn’t going to happen as long as UFC head honcho Dana White was pulling the strings, even though he’s still tied for most successful heavyweight title defenses.

We bid you adieu, Mr. Sylvia … but for God’s sake, lose some weight.

–Alex G.

ONE FC 23 Results + GIFs: Brandon Vera Destroys Igor Subora, Roger Gracie TKO’s James McSweeney

(Brandon Vera vs. Igor Subora. PRIDE…[*wipes away tear*]…neva die.)

ONE FC 23: Warrior’s Way just wrapped up in Pasay City, Philippines, featuring the promotional debuts of Brandon Vera and Roger Gracie, who were both victorious. Full results are below, and GIFs of the main card stoppages continue after the jump, via Zombie Prophet. As usual, brutal soccer kicks were involved.

– Bibiano Fernandes def. Dae Hwan Kim via submission (rear-naked choke), 1:16 of round 2
– Brandon Vera def. Igor Subora via KO (punch, soccer kicks), 3:54 of round 1
– Timofey Nastyukhin def. Eduard Folayang via KO (flying knee, soccer kicks), 3:11 of round 1
– Roger Gracie def. James McSweeney via TKO, 3:15 of round 3
– Kevin Belingon def. Koetsu Okazaki via unanimous decision
– Herbert Burns def. Honorio Banario via submission (rear-naked choke), 3:59 of round 1
– Jake Butler def. Sylvain Potard via unanimous decision
– Dejdamrong Sor Amnuaysirichoke def. Rene Catalan via KO (knee), 2:30 of round 1
– Ana Julaton def. Walaa Abas Mohamed Kamaly via unanimous decision
– Jujeath Nagaowa def. Tharoth Sam via TKO, 3:34 of round 2

(Bibiano Fernandes vs. Dae Hwan Kim)

(Brandon Vera vs. Igor Subora. PRIDE…[*wipes away tear*]…neva die.)

– Bibiano Fernandes def. Dae Hwan Kim via submission (rear-naked choke), 1:16 of round 2
– Brandon Vera def. Igor Subora via KO (punch, soccer kicks), 3:54 of round 1
– Timofey Nastyukhin def. Eduard Folayang via KO (flying knee, soccer kicks), 3:11 of round 1
– Roger Gracie def. James McSweeney via TKO (and possibly a busted right leg), 3:15 of round 3
– Kevin Belingon def. Koetsu Okazaki via unanimous decision
– Herbert Burns def. Honorio Banario via submission (rear-naked choke), 3:59 of round 1
– Jake Butler def. Sylvain Potard via unanimous decision
– Dejdamrong Sor Amnuaysirichoke def. Rene Catalan via KO (knee), 2:30 of round 1
– Ana Julaton def. Walaa Abas Mohamed Kamaly via unanimous decision
– Jujeath Nagaowa def. Tharoth Sam via TKO, 3:34 of round 2

(Bibiano Fernandes vs. Dae Hwan Kim)

(Timofey Nastyukhin vs. Eduard Folayang)

(Roger Gracie vs. James McSweeney)

(Herbert Burns vs. Honorio Banario)

MMA GIFs of the Day: Two Brutal Soccer Kick Knockouts From ONE FC 21

(All GIFs via ZombieProphet)

There’s only one good reason to watch ONE FC events — the chance to see a knockout that would be totally illegal on this side of the Pacific. Today in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, ONE FC 21 gave us two knockouts by way of completely brutal soccer kicks. Above, Stephen Langdown straight-up murders Raymond Tan with knees to the head on the ground and a pair of point-blank soccer kicks. Warning: It’s ugly. Below, Anatpong Bunrad crumples Marc Marcellinus with a teep to the gut, then uses his head to score the go-ahead goal.

After the jump: Ev Ting finishes Edward Kelly with a gnarly head-kick of the normal, standing-up variety.

(All GIFs via ZombieProphet)

After the jump: Ev Ting finishes Edward Kelly with a gnarly head-kick of the normal, standing-up variety.

Video: Amir Kahn, MMA Fighter With Tourette’s Syndrome, Scores TKO Win in Pro Debut at ONE FC 20

A 20-year-old featherweight from Singapore named Amir Khan scored an impressive win in his professional debut earlier today, when he TKO’d Malaysian journeyman Jian Kai Chee midway through the first round of their fight at at ONE FC 20. And while we don’t usually report on obscure international fights, Khan is special: He suffers from Tourette’s syndrome, as evidenced by a prominent tic in which he frequently turns his face to the side, and appears to be vocalizing through the fight.

What’s interesting to me is how Khan doesn’t display the tic whenever he’s storming on Chee with strikes. It kind of reminded me of that scene in The King’s Speech where King George VI realizes that he doesn’t stammer while cursing. (Hot take: Punching people cures Tourette’s.) Anyway, I thought it was worth sharing.

Will the UFC Be Signing Ben Askren Soon?

(Photo via Getty)

The same chorus emerges every time the UFC makes a questionable signing.

“You sign this guy but not Ben Askren?”

The MMA world might not have to type this sentiment out on Twitter and r/MMA much longer.

“I think if he keeps winning, he could get a shot over here,” Dana White said at the UFC 177 post-fight media scrum. His words on Askren took a bizarrely conciliatory tone. Check them out after the jump…

(Photo via Getty)

The same chorus emerges every time the UFC makes a questionable signing.

“You sign this guy but not Ben Askren?”

The MMA world might not have to type this sentiment out on Twitter and r/MMA much longer.

“I think if he keeps winning, he could get a shot over here,” Dana White said at the UFC 177 post-fight media scrum. His words on Askren took a bizarrely conciliatory tone:

Listen, Ben Askren said a lot of stupid sh-t when he left, but I don’t care about stuff like that. I could care less about any of that. We’ll see how the kid fights, what he keeps doing, and we’ll go from there. Contrary to popular belief–well, no, I do hold grudges if you’re a real idiot. Yeah, I’ll hold a grudge until the day I drop dead.

But with fighters, I don’t really do that with fighters. These guys are built differently than everybody. They’re tough, man, and this is what they do for a living, and they’re going to say stuff like that. If Tito (Ortiz) could come back to the UFC, anybody can come in here. Believe me, because there’s nobody on earth I hated more than Tito. And Tito came back. You don’t have to like them to do business with them. So we’ll see.

At least White acknowledged that he holds grudges better than Russian slap-fighters can puncture pieces of paper. Maybe the declining PPV numbers have made Uncle Dana desperate?

Unfortunately, Askren didn’t seem too keen on White’s words:

So it looks like we’ll be seeing Askren crush cans in ONE FC for a little while longer. What a shame.

‘ONE FC: Reign of Champions’ Results + GIFs — Aoki, Askren, Huerta Score First-Round Finishes

(Roger Huerta destroys Christian Holley with the help of ONE FC’s “Sure, knee ’em in the head when they’re down, we don’t really care” rule. / GIF via ZP)

ONE FC: Reign of Champions (aka ONE FC 19) went down today at the World Trade Centre in Dubai, featuring Shinya Aoki, Ben Askren, and the return of Roger Huerta after a two-year absence and four-fight losing streak. Quick results are below, and more GIFs are after the jump, via ZombieProphet.

– Shina Aoki def. Kamal Shalorus via submission (rear-naked choke), 2:15 of round 1; Aoki retains the ONE FC lightweight championship

– Ben Askren def. Nobutatsu Suzuki via TKO, 1:24 of round 1; Askren becomes the new ONE FC welterweight champion, and secures his second-straight first-round stoppage. How ’bout that!

– Jadamba Narantungalag def. Koji Oishi via unanimous decision; Narantungalag becomes the new ONE FC featherweight champion

– Roger Huerta def. Christian Holley via TKO (knees & punches), 3:13 of round 1

– James McSweeney def. Cristiano Kaminishi via KO (punch & soccer kick), 1:17 of round 1

– Herbert Burns def. Hiroshige Tanaka via unanimous decision

– Mohamad Walid def. Vaughn Donayre via submission (armbar), 1:05 of round 1

– Dejdamrong Sor Amnuaysirichoke def. Ali Yaakub via submission (rear-naked choke), 2:34 of round 1

– Ann Osman def. Ana Julaton via split-decision

(Roger Huerta destroys Christian Holley with the help of ONE FC’s “Sure, knee ‘em in the head when they’re down, we don’t really care” rule. / GIF via ZP)