Tag: Soa Palelei

Andrei Arlovski and Jens Pulver Both Book Matches They Will Probably Lose at OneFC: ‘Pride of a Nation’

Andrei Arlovski knocked out MMA photos gallery Fedor Emelianenko Affliction
(You mean to tell me that the guy lying face down in a pool of his own blood WAS ALIVE THE ENTIRE TIME?! No. F’ing. Way.) 

Not too long ago, it was announced that former UFC champions Andrei Arlovski and Jens Pulver had signed with Singapore-based upstart promotion OneFC, and were scheduled to compete on the August 31st scheduled ‘Pride of a Nation’ card against opponents that had yet to be named. Given the pair’s name power, not to mention their hard runs of luck as of late, it was assumed by most that they would likely be featured in a pair of squash matches to help build up their name (also, confidence) within the promotion. It now appears that we have severely underestimated the fellas at OneFC. Or overestimated, we’re not sure.

In either case, Arlovski has been booked to take on fellow UFC castaway and dangerous striker Soa Palelei, who is coming off a 12 second…we guess you’d call it beating, of Bob “Bitch Tits” Sapp at CFC 21 in May. And although just a few years ago, a guy like Palelei would never even be mentioned in the same breath as “The Pit Bull”, we may very likely see him listed as the favorite heading into this matchup as it stands today. Palelei packs a wallop of a punch and Arlvoski’s off switch is easier to find than a dwarf among midgets, so expect “The Hulk” to let his fists go early and often in this one and Arlovski to crumble violently to the mat shortly thereafter. Let’s just hope that Arlovski has finally undergone that Tango and Cash jaw replacement surgery he always wanted, or he is going to get royally FUBAR’d in this one.

Andrei Arlovski knocked out MMA photos gallery Fedor Emelianenko Affliction
(You mean to tell me that the guy lying face down in a pool of his own blood WAS ALIVE THE ENTIRE TIME?! No. F’ing. Way.) 

Not too long ago, it was announced that former UFC champions Andrei Arlovski and Jens Pulver had signed with Singapore-based upstart promotion OneFC, and were scheduled to compete on the August 31st scheduled ‘Pride of a Nation’ card against opponents that had yet to be named. Given the pair’s name power, not to mention their hard runs of luck as of late, it was assumed by most that they would likely be featured in a pair of squash matches to help build up their name (also, confidence) within the promotion. It now appears that we have severely underestimated the fellas at OneFC. Or overestimated, we’re not sure.

In either case, Arlovski has been booked to take on fellow UFC castaway and dangerous striker Soa Palelei, who is coming off a 12 second…we guess you’d call it beating, of Bob “Bitch Tits” Sapp at CFC 21 in May. And although just a few years ago, a guy like Palelei would never even be mentioned in the same breath as “The Pit Bull”, we may very likely see him listed as the favorite heading into this matchup as it stands today. Palelei packs a wallop of a punch and Arlvoski’s off switch is easier to find than a dwarf among midgets, so expect “The Hulk” to let his fists go early and often in this one and Arlovski to crumble violently to the mat shortly thereafter. Let’s just hope that Arlovski has finally undergone that Tango and Cash jaw replacement surgery he always wanted, or else he is going to get royally FUBAR’d in this one.

Since dropping three straight in Strikeforce (two by way of KO), Arlovski has actually put together a two-fight win streak over 7-3 journeyman Ray Lopez and most recently 247-49 (!!!!) journeyman Travis Fulton, whom Arlovski scored a vicious head kick finish over in the very last second of their otherwise snoozer of a scrap at the abysmal ProElite 2: Big Guns event last year. Palelei has not lost since succumbing to a first round submission via strikes at the hands Daniel Cormier at an XMMA event back in 2010. Though we can’t confirm this, we imagine Cormier likely broke at least one of his hands during that performance as well. Seriously, it’s like those things are comprised of equal parts boron and tinsel.

Former UFC lightweight champion Jens Pulver appears to have booked himself into the exact opposite conundrum, as he is scheduled to square off with undefeated submission specialist Eric Kelly at the same event. Pulver has been able to slightly turn things around as of late, collecting five wins in his past seven contests, but prior to that, he suffered five straight losses, including three straight by way of submission, to round out his WEC career. Pulver most recently picked up a win over 3-4 Jesse Thorton in a flyweight contest in April.

Pulver’s submission game (or lack thereof) will truly be put to the test against a guy like Kelly, who has scored all but one of his professional wins by way of submission. Kelly is 2-0 under the OneFC banner, and last scored a UD win over Bae Young Kwon at OneFC 4: Destiny of Warriors last month. If you recall, this was the same event that saw Roger Huerta nearly decapitated by a soccer kick that instantaneously gave thousands of PRIDE fanboys a full on nerdgasm upon witnessing. For those of you who fell into this demographic (raises hand), don’t worry: It’s not gay if someone almost dies.

Pulver has been flirting with retirement for what feels like ages, but do you think he can pull off what will easily be his biggest win in years come August 18th?

–J. Jones

VIDEO: Another Bob Sapp “TKO”, and the New “Bob Sapp Challenge”

(Video props: YouTube/MMAVictor)

There’s nothing new about Bob Sapp losing a fight without dignity, but every week he seems to hone his craft as an MMA-Theatre master thespian. A typical Sapp fight consists of him lumbering in toward his opponent, waiting until he feels incidental contact, then feigning a tko until the ref halts the bout. Wash–Rinse–Repeat. But last night he may have sunk to a new low in his bout against Soa Palelei at Cage Fighting Championship 21.

Sapp starts off the bout by touching gloves —just like they do in *real* MMA bouts! Too cute!–then he ducks his head and charges meanders forward toward “The Hulk”. This is his opponent’s cue to tag him with something—anything–that could count as a landed blow and explain his fall to the canvas. To his surprise, Sapp makes it all the way to the opposite side of the cage with Palelei nowhere to be found. Stupefied, he does the only thing he knows how: he teeters over.

As a real fighter with real intentions of fighting, Palelei tries to partake in the ‘takedown’ but his help is completely unnecessary. Sapp is all too happy to let gravity ease his menacing frame down to the canvas. And so the Australian does his thing, pounding away at a turtled-up Sapp, while Sapp does his thing, turtling-up while getting pounded. Although this isn’t the first bout where Sapp has succumbed to a phantom punch, at least his previous opponents were somewhere in the general vicinity when he fell.

The new rules of the Bob Sapp Challenge™ await you after the jump.

(Video props: YouTube/MMAVictor)

There’s nothing new about Bob Sapp losing a fight without dignity, but every week he seems to hone his craft as an MMA-Theatre master thespian. A typical Sapp fight consists of him lumbering in toward his opponent, waiting until he feels incidental contact, then feigning a tko until the ref halts the bout. Wash–Rinse–Repeat. But last night he may have sunk to a new low in his bout against Soa Palelei at Cage Fighting Championship 21.

Sapp starts off the bout by touching gloves –just like *real* fighters do, too cute!–then he ducks his head and charges meanders forward toward “The Hulk”. This is his opponent’s cue to tag him with something—anything–that could count as a landed blow and explain his fall to the canvas. To his surprise, Sapp makes it all the way to the opposite side of the cage with Palelei nowhere to be found. Stupefied, he does the only thing he knows how: he teeters over.

As a real fighter with real intentions of fighting, Palelei tries to partake in the ‘takedown’ but his help is completely unnecessary. Sapp is all too happy to let gravity ease his menacing frame down to the canvas. And so the Australian does his thing, pounding away at a turtled-up Sapp, while Sapp does his thing, turtling-up while getting pounded. Although this isn’t the first bout where Sapp has succumbed to a phantom punch, at least his previous opponents were somewhere in the general vicinity when he fell.

The new rules of the Bob Sapp Challenge™ await you after the jump.

Even though he willingly signed on for this farce, you’ve almost got to feel sorry for Palelei. The former UFC and Pride competitor got caught up in the emotional rush of a quick victory before coming to his senses on top of the cage–you can literally see the embarrassment for his involvement in this charade sweep over him in mid-celebration. Only Bob Sapp can muster up ‘winners regret’ in his opponent.

Now that the bar for defeating Sapp has been set at 12-seconds, it’s time to usher in the new Bob Sapp Challenge™. No longer should fighters strive to defeat him faster than ever before with fewer punches than previously thought possible. No, the new Bob Sapp Challenge™ should be to see how long you can force him to fight you. Who can drag him into the deep waters of minutes three or four of a fight? Who can land enough punches to leave a mark before he channels his inner-Greg Louganis. Future opponents: when Sapp falls down of his own accord, don’t swarm. Calmly back away and either force him to stand and continue the fight or shield himself from punches that will never arrive. I won’t chastise you for taking an easy payday with plenty of media attention, but don’t wallow in shame beside him. Make him fight you or make a display of his cowardice–whatever you do, don’t give his tired act a shred of legitimacy by giving him an easy way out.

 

– @ChrisColemon

 

[VIDEO] Insult Bob Sapp & Win a Chance to Corner Him at CFC 21 in Australia!


(Just don’t expect a chance to offer him advice in between rounds.) 

As you surely know by this point, Potato Nation, we are not the biggest fans of Bob Sapp. The man known as “The Beast” manages to somehow set the bar lower each time he steps into the ring, to the point that, if you don’t offer him a way out of the fight, he will simply collapse like he was hit with a stray bullet and roll around on the ground until the referee steps in. In fact, it’s safe to say that when all is said and done, Bob Sapp will probably go down as the worst fighter in the sport’s history (though from a technical standpoint, he is still leagues beyond Robert Burneika). And apparently we aren’t the only ones who share this sentiment.

But let today, May 2nd, 2012, forever be known as the day that Sapp redeemed at least part of his sham of a career, if not all of it. Fed up with all the “keyboard warrior” criticisms he has received in the past…ten years (many of which find their way to his Wikipedia page), Sapp is giving all you haters the chance to nut up or shut up. After Bob takes on Mariusz Pudzianowski at KSW 19 on May 12th, he will square off against UFC veteran Soa Palelei at CFC 21 in Australia just six days later. To help promote the event, Sapp is not only giving one lucky “fan” a chance to corner him for the fight, but he will also give said fan $300, a round trip ticket to Australia, hotel accommodations, and VIP access to the event.

And what do you have to enter this contest, you ask? The answer is simple: Create a video demonstrating your admiration or hatred of Bob Sapp and why you’d like to be in his corner, and post it on your Youtube account. We know, right? This contest is practically designed for you angst-ridden SOB’s.

Check out the video, along with the full contest details, after the jump. 


(Just don’t expect a chance to offer him advice in between rounds.) 

As you surely know by this point, Potato Nation, we are not the biggest fans of Bob Sapp. The man known as “The Beast” manages to somehow set the bar lower each time he steps into the ring, to the point that, if you don’t offer him a way out of the fight, he will simply collapse like he was hit with a stray bullet and roll around on the ground until the referee steps in. In fact, it’s safe to say that when all is said and done, Bob Sapp will probably go down as the worst fighter in the sport’s history (though from a technical standpoint, he is still leagues beyond Robert Burneika). And apparently we aren’t the only ones who share this sentiment.

But let today, May 2nd, 2012, forever be known as the day that Sapp redeemed at least part of his sham of a career, if not all of it. Fed up with all the “keyboard warrior” criticisms he has received in the past…ten years (many of which find their way to his Wikipedia page), Sapp is giving all you haters the chance to nut up or shut up. After Bob takes on Mariusz Pudzianowski at KSW 19 on May 12th, he will square off against UFC veteran Soa Palelei at CFC 21 in Australia just six days later. To help promote the event, Sapp is not only giving one lucky “fan” a chance to corner him for the fight, but he will also give said fan $300, a round trip ticket to Australia, hotel accommodations, and VIP access to the event.

And what do you have to enter this contest, you ask? The answer is simple: Create a video demonstrating your admiration or hatred of Bob Sapp and why you’d like to be in his corner, and post it on your Youtube account. We know, right? This contest is practically designed for you angst-ridden SOB’s.

We’ll give Sapp this; the man has no shame. Or shirts. These are two areas in which we are alike. But unlike us, Sapp actually chooses to address his haters, and deserves at least a little bit of respect for doing so. We know, we never thought we’d actually write the words “Bob Sapp” and “respect” in the same sentence either. Anyway, the contest rules are as follows:

1. Create a 30 second video bashing Sapp’s pathetic, meaningless existence on this planet and why you could be the cornerman to turn it all around.
2. Post your video on your Youtube channel and place it in the reply section of the above video. The video must contain the address “Youtube.com/BobSappTV” at some point.
3. Title your video “BobSappTV Video Contest.”
4. NO PROFANITY

You must be over the age of 21 and have a valid passport to enter. The winner will be chosen on May 13th.

Now, we know some of you possess the ability to be funny from time to time. The same goes twice over for your ability to insult, and we wouldn’t have it any other way. Given a muse as great as Sapp, we imagine you could cause some serious emotional damage in a 30 second time frame. We’re talking “send the last fragile remnants of Sapp’s intestinal fortitude crashing to the ground in a hail of metaphorical gunfire” kind of damage. You owe it to yourself, and to the MMA community for that matter, to enter this contest. And if the chance to watch Bob Sapp get viciously KO’d (or hilariously flop) in person isn’t enough to spur your interest, then we’ll give a t-shirt to the best entry sent to [email protected]. Sound good? Then dust off your Panasonic AG-450 S-VHS Reporter camcorders and put your time-tested trash-talking skills to the test!

-J. Jones

Mismatch of the Century Alert: Soa Palelei to Face Bob Sapp at CFC 21 in April

(Sapp’s most recent effort attempt “showing” against James Thompson. How do you know it’s a Bob Sapp joint? Because the introductions are twice as long as the fight.) 

In the difficult economic times that we are currently experiencing, Bob Sapp’s continual ability to stay employed as a “fighter” is nothing short of inspiring. And by inspiring, we mean infuriating. The man has fought nine times in the past three years, totaling just over fifteen minutes of ring time. There is not a doubt in any of our minds that the time he spent training for those fights was less than half of that. He has lost all but one of those contests, and word has it that the one man he defeated committed Sepukku shortly thereafter. Yet he continues to get work. He lost his last fight by submission due to (fake) leg injury, and tapped out to approximately two punches thrown by a BJJ expert in the fight before that. Yet he continues to get work.

Perhaps it is a sign, like the popularity of Jersey Shore or Nicki Minaj, that our culture has truly done a 180 in terms of what we consider worthy of our attention. Where in days past, it was a person’s abilities that brought them into the public eye, it seems now more than ever that we as a society are fixated with people who lack any discernable talent whatsoever.

Bob Sapp is living, breathing proof of this phenomenon.

Thankfully, it looks as if Sapp may finally be forced to take on a fighter who could make him reconsider his line of work altogether; someone who could possibly knock Sapp out cold before he gets the chance to call it quits. That man is none other than UFC veteran Soa Palelei, who is scheduled to take on Sapp at Cage Fighting Championships 21 on April 20th.

If there is a God, he will not allow Bob Sapp to walk away from this fight completely intact.


(Sapp’s most recent effort attempt ”showing” against James Thompson. How do you know it’s a Bob Sapp joint? Because the introductions are twice as long as the fight.) 

In the difficult economic times that we are currently experiencing, Bob Sapp’s continual ability to stay employed as a “fighter” is nothing short of inspiring. And by inspiring, we mean infuriating. The man has fought nine times in the past three years, totaling just over fifteen minutes of ring time. There is not a doubt in any of our minds that the time he spent training for those fights was less than half of that. He has lost all but one of those contests, and word has it that the one man he defeated committed Sepukku shortly thereafter. Yet he continues to get work. He lost his last fight by submission due to (fake) leg injury, and tapped out to approximately two punches thrown by a BJJ expert in the fight before that. Yet he continues to get work.

Perhaps it is a sign, like the popularity of Jersey Shore or Nicki Minaj, that our culture has truly done a 180 in terms of what we consider worthy of our attention. Where in days past, it was a person’s abilities that brought them into the public eye, it seems now more than ever that we as a society are fixated with people who lack any discernable talent whatsoever.

Bob Sapp is living, breathing proof of this phenomenon.

Thankfully, it looks as if Sapp may finally be forced to take on a fighter who could make him reconsider his line of work altogether; someone who could possibly knock Sapp out cold before he gets the chance to call it quits. That man is none other than UFC veteran Soa Palelei, who is scheduled to take on Sapp at Cage Fighting Championships 21 on April 20th.

If there is a God, he will not allow Bob Sapp to walk away from this fight completely intact.

Since being bounced from the UFC following a third round TKO loss to Eddie Sanchez at UFC 79, Palelei has gone 7-1 and is currently riding a five fight win streak, with all of those victories coming by way of first round (T)KO. The last fight of Palelei’s we reported on was a brutal 28 second KO of Son Hai Suk at the AFC event that saw Bellator middleweight champion Hector Lombard submit TUF 7 finalist Jesse Taylor via second round heel hook.

One interesting fact heading into his fight with Sapp is that Palelei is expected to square off against 3-0 slugger Joe Kielur just six days beforehand. Let’s hope he doesn’t injure himself and is able to deliver the just beating Sapp truly deserves.

Also scheduled to throw down at CFC 21 are respectable MMA veterans Jeff Monson and Jim York. Monson was recently able to rebound from a unanimous decision loss to Fedor Emilianenko back in November with a decision victory of his own over Alexey Oleinik just ten days ago. York, a Sengoku and KOTC veteran, has not fought since scoring a first round TKO over Lucas Browne in November of 2010.

No other bouts are scheduled for CFC 21 as of this moment. Now here’s a video of Bob Sapp getting rag-dolled by a man one-third his size.

Amen.

-J. Jones

Impact FC 2 Live Blog: Brad Morris vs. Soa Palelei Updates

This is the Impact FC 2 live blog for Brad Morris vs. Soa Palelei, a super heavyweight bout on tonight’s “The Uprising” card from Sydney, Australia.

Australian staples Brad Morris and Soa Palelei resurface for a rare pay-per-view from the land down un…

This is the Impact FC 2 live blog for Brad Morris vs. Soa Palelei, a super heavyweight bout on tonight’s “The Uprising” card from Sydney, Australia.

Australian staples Brad Morris and Soa Palelei resurface for a rare pay-per-view from the land down under.

The live blog is below.

Impact FC 2: Shamrock vs. Rizzo Preview and Predictions

Last week’s inaugural Impact FC card was really a test drive for Saturday’s pay-per-view card which hosts even more familiar faces from the UFC and PRIDE past.

Preview and predictions for Impact FC 2 are below.

Last week’s inaugural Impact FC card was really a test drive for Saturday’s pay-per-view card which hosts even more familiar faces from the UFC and PRIDE past.

Preview and predictions for Impact FC 2 are below.