(“It’s a romantic comedy called ‘You’ve Got Wrist-Locks.’ You play my girlfriend’s father, and you don’t approve of our relationship because I’m so fucking old and gross.”)
File this one under not sure if awesome. According to a new report from Estadão (via Fighters Only), UFC middleweight king Anderson Silva will be filming a role in an action-packed “police story” alongside, who else, Steven Seagal. Silva received the first script draft this week, and is heading to the U.S. to shoot the flick after he gets back from a vacation in Dubai. As Silva explained:
“I will make a lot of fight scenes and this is also the first time I will act. I received a long plot and I will have the opportunity of putting in practice what I have been studying for some time.”
Wait, here’s the best part:
“I don’t want to be seen as somebody who caught the role because I am on the media and to be a fighter. Of course it is difficult, I am not Lorenzo Lamas, but I want to do it well done to the people see that I am a good actor.”
LOL, Lorenzo freakin’ Lamas! That’s the first (and surely last) time we’ve heard that guy’s name used as a standard for fine acting. (“Is Andy a good actor? Well, he’s no dude-from-Renegade, but I suppose he’ll do.”)
(“It’s a romantic comedy called ‘You’ve Got Wrist-Locks.’ You play my girlfriend’s father, and you don’t approve of our relationship because I’m so fucking old and gross.”)
File this one under not sure if awesome. According to a new report from Estadão (via Fighters Only), UFC middleweight king Anderson Silva will be filming a role in an action-packed “police story” alongside, who else, Steven Seagal. Silva received the first script draft this week, and is heading to the U.S. to shoot the flick after he gets back from a vacation in Dubai. As Silva explained:
“I will make a lot of fight scenes and this is also the first time I will act. I received a long plot and I will have the opportunity of putting in practice what I have been studying for some time.”
Wait, here’s the best part:
“I don’t want to be seen as somebody who caught the role because I am on the media and to be a fighter. Of course it is difficult, I am not Lorenzo Lamas, but I want to do it well done to the people see that I am a good actor.”
LOL, Lorenzo freakin’ Lamas! That’s the first (and surely last) time we’ve heard that guy’s name used as a standard for fine acting. (“Is Andy a good actor? Well, he’s no dude-from-Renegade, but I suppose he’ll do.”)
Unfortunately, Steven Seagal is no Lorenzo Lamas either, but he’ll probably get top billing on this thing. And from what we’ve heard about Seagal’s notorious on-set behavior, Silva had better keep his distance unless he wants to get Leguizamo’d. By the way, Seagal’s IMDB page still describes him as “somewhat boyishly handsome.” I don’t know. I just thought that was funny.
In the absence of any other info about this movie, feel free to guess the plot of this upcoming police drama in the comments section.
How’s your day going, Potato Nation? Could it use more ego-stroking, embellished ramblings, and conspiracy theories delivered in a raspy yet soothing undertone? Well luckily for you, none other than famed mixed martial arts instructor and former movie star Steven Seagal recently sat down for the longest interview of his career to do just that.
We’re not going to spoil the interview for you, but suffice it to say, it’s classic Seagal. Over the course of fifty minutes, Seagal not only claims that he has possibly killed someone or many someones in his life, but that he deserved the Nobel Peace Prize that Al Gore received in 2007 (ironic), and knows the truth behind Brandon Lee’s death. Also, Above the Law was autobiographical.
How’s your day going, Potato Nation? Could it use more ego-stroking, embellished ramblings, and conspiracy theories delivered in a raspy yet soothing undertone? Well luckily for you, none other than famed mixed martial arts instructor and former movie star Steven Seagal recently sat down for the longest interview of his career to do just that.
We’re not going to spoil the interview for you, but suffice it to say, it’s classic Seagal. Over the course of fifty minutes, Seagal not only claims that he has possibly killed someone or many someones in his life, but that he deserved the Nobel Peace Prize that Al Gore received in 2007 (ironic), and knows the truth behind Brandon Lee’s death. Also, Above the Law was autobiographical.
Finally, a Sensei Seagal claim that I don’t immediately label as bullshit.
As hard as we’ve been trying, we just can’t change the subject from holier-than-thou hypocrites around here. At least not in the comments sections of our articles. It seems like the comments sections of every article we’ve written since Thursday have deflated into a bunch of angry, semi-literate geeks who possibly don’t even like MMA calling each other the worst names they can think of before accusing each other of being hypocrites. Coincidentally, I just started reading the comments section of our articles on Thursday morning.
So in that spirit, I’m relaying news to you about a certain lawman who seems to actually fancy himself as Above the Law. It appears that UFC trainer/Actor/CIA agent/Energy Drink Salesman Steven Seagal owes a boat load of money to the State of California. As in, more money than training playing patty-cake with Rafael Cavalcante can possibly be bringing in. To hear it from TMZ.com:
Taking out a boatful of terrorists hell-bent on nuking Honolulu does not mean you can skip out on paying your taxes … so the State of California has filed a giant tax lien against action film star Steven Seagal, TMZ has learned.
Finally, a Sensei Seagal claim that I don’t immediately label as bullshit.
As hard as we’ve been trying, we just can’t change the subject from holier-than-thou hypocrites around here. At least not in the comments sections of our articles. It seems like the comments sections of every article we’ve written since Thursday have deflated into a bunch of angry, semi-literate geeks who possibly don’t even like MMA calling each other the worst names they can think of before accusing each other of being hypocrites. Coincidentally, I just started reading the comments section of our articles on Thursday morning.
So in that spirit, I’m relaying news to you about a certain lawman who seems to actually fancy himself as Above the Law. It appears that UFC trainer/Actor/CIA agent/Energy Drink Salesman Steven Seagal owes a boat load of money to the State of California. As in, more money than training playing patty-cake with Rafael Cavalcante can possibly be bringing in. To hear it from TMZ.com:
Taking out a boatful of terrorists hell-bent on nuking Honolulu does not mean you can skip out on paying your taxes … so the State of California has filed a giant tax lien against action film star Steven Seagal, TMZ has learned.
According to documents filed with the Los Angeles County Recorder’s Office, Seagal owes the Golden State a whopping $335,606.35 for the year 2010. It’s hard to imagine how Seagal amassed such a large tax bill [Author Note: You’ve obviously never needed a good tailor.]– he has appeared in mostly direct-to-video movies for the past decade, with his only real work being a small role in “Machete” in 2010 and his reality show, “Steven Seagal: Lawman.”
Calls to Seagal were not returned.
For those of you who are experiencing déjà vu, Steven Seagal has previously been sued for non-payment to a former movie producer and business associate with mob ties. He reportedly owed that person $500,000. The guy spends that Anderson Silva money faster than The Spider brings it in, is what you should be learning from all of this.
Speaking of which, it’s safe to assume that we won’t be seeing Sensei Seagal at any UFC events in the near future. Naturally, this is a devastating blow to the entire Team Black House camp – who can they possibly find to take credit for their fighters’ victories on such short notice? Who will troll us on slow news days? Who is left to teach us how to defend against open palm slaps with wrist locks? Also, considering the badass high kicks that Jean-Claude Van Damme has been showcasing at Tristar Gym, maybe Anderson Silva might want to think twice about rallying for that Georges St. Pierre superfight for the time being.
Perhaps I am just ignorant to a lot of the subtleties of Aikido, but when I watched Steven Seagal “spar” with former Strikeforce champion Rafael Cavalcante in the moments leading up to UFC 148, I was less than impressed. Though there is little doubt in my mind (none, in fact) that Sensei Seagal would absolutely destroy me in a fight, even after consuming his daily pallet of chocolate covered pretzels, when given the choice between Seagal’s deadly patty-cake shenanigans and say, the leaping, spinning roundhouse kicks of Jean-Claude Van Damme, I will choose the latter 11 times out of 10. I mean, we’re talking about the living embodiment of Colonel William F. Guile here, people. I could also get into the whole debate about how it was actually JCVD that invented the front kick, as well as the Showtime kick, only to have the techniques Milli-Vanilli’d from him by Seagal and Anthony Pettis, but I’d prefer not to filibuster my own article for the sake of argument.
But you can understand my excitement when I heard that none other than the roundhouse-kicking thespian himself recently stopped by Tristar Gym to pay Georges St. Pierre and the gang a visit and partake in some light sparring. This video was tweeted by St. Pierre yesterday, and although it is extremely light on both the sparring and actual content, it’s still the coolest twenty five seconds you’ll see all day, so just enjoy it.
As you can see, Van Damme can still wing those kicks up there and stop them on a dime, whereas I would be shocked to learn that Seagal could even lift his legs off of the ground without assistance. This of course leads to the question: If JCVD and Sensei Seagal were to throw down nowadays, who would take it and how?
Perhaps I am just ignorant to a lot of the subtleties of Aikido, but when I watched Steven Seagal “spar” with former Strikeforce champion Rafael Cavalcante in the moments leading up to UFC 148, I was less than impressed. Though there is little doubt in my mind (none, in fact) that Sensei Seagal would absolutely destroy me in a fight, even after consuming his daily pallet of chocolate covered pretzels, when given the choice between Seagal’s deadly patty-cake shenanigans and say, the leaping, spinning roundhouse kicks of Jean-Claude Van Damme, I will choose the latter 11 times out of 10. I mean, we’re talking about the living embodiment of Colonel William F. Guile here, people. I could also get into the whole debate about how it was actually JCVD that invented the front kick, as well as the Showtime kick, only to have the techniques Milli-Vanilli’d from him by Seagal and Anthony Pettis, but I’d prefer not to filibuster my own article for the sake of argument.
But you can understand my excitement when I heard that none other than the roundhouse-kicking thespian himself recently stopped by Tristar Gym to pay Georges St. Pierre and the gang a visit and partake in some light sparring. This video was tweeted by St. Pierre yesterday, and although it is extremely light on both the sparring and actual content, it’s still the coolest twenty five seconds you’ll see all day, so just enjoy it.
As you can see, Van Damme can still wing those kicks up there and stop them on a dime, whereas I would be shocked to learn that Seagal could even lift his legs off of the ground without assistance. This of course leads to the question: If JCVD and Sensei Seagal were to throw down nowadays, who would take it and how?
I know what you’ve all been thinking this week. You’ve been thinking “This whole pissed off and angry Anderson Silva is a frightening change of pace, and the press conference was fun I guess, but damn it, I need to know how Steven Seagal will take credit for all of this!” Well don’t worry, person who doesn’t exist – you won’t have to wait until after the fight to find that out.
Ariel Helwani caught up with Cockpuncherto discuss Anderson Silva’s upcoming rematch with Chael Sonnen. After appearing reluctant to give the mere mortal an interview, Seagal explained how Silva’s intense new attitude is entirely his doing. And those concerns you may be having over The Spider’s emotions affecting his performance? Don’t worry, Seagal has an answer for that, too.
I know what you’ve all been thinking this week. You’ve been thinking “This whole pissed off and angry Anderson Silva is a frightening change of pace, and the press conference was fun I guess, but damn it, I need to know how Steven Seagal will take credit for all of this!” Well don’t worry, person who doesn’t exist – you won’t have to wait until after the fight to find that out.
Ariel Helwani caught up with Cockpuncherto discuss Anderson Silva‘s upcoming rematch with Chael Sonnen. After appearing reluctant to give the mere mortal an interview, Seagal explained how Silva’s intense new attitude is entirely his doing. And those concerns you may be having over The Spider’s emotions affecting his performance? Don’t worry, Seagal has an answer for that, too.
Perhaps the most note-worthy quote from this interview was Steven Seagal’s claim to have taught Anderson Silva “two or three things…stuff that we thought was maybe illegal that’s not illegal.” When pressed for more information, Seagal claimed to not want to give anything away so that Chael won’t know to expect it. Of course, for a guy who doesn’t want to give anything away, it’s odd that he clarified that the technique is a stand-up technique.
In other words: Anderson Silva now has Teh Deadly in his possession, he’ll use it to defeat Chael Sonnen, and it looks like a technique that most people thought was illegal but totally isn’t. Awesome.
And on that note, I leave you with this game of patty-cake between The Keeperand Rafael Cavalcante gone terribly wrong.
“I don’t even know if he is still alive. Is he still alive? I never knew this about him – either he is a pathological liar or he had somebody making up these stories. He came over to my trailer and I was with a guy called Conrad Palmisano who is still a legend, one of the greatest stunt co-ordinators in the history of Hollywood. [LeBell and I] were standing there talking about moves and stuff like that and we were just doing some stretching and he was showing me how you can stretch…he wanted to stretch my back and then I kind of flipped over the top of him and said ‘thank you for that.’
There was never any confrontation with him ever. In any way, shape or form. And I swear to god on my children – and they are the most precious thing in my life – if he is saying that he is a pathological scumbag liar. I keep answering that [question]. Either he made up this lie or someone made it up…Gene Le Bell has never even said anything impolite to me. When he has seen me he has been extremely polite to me and just acted like a friend. I think you know the truth here and everyone else knows the truth and if Gene is saying sh*t like that he should be ashamed of himself.
“I don’t even know if he is still alive. Is he still alive? I never knew this about him – either he is a pathological liar or he had somebody making up these stories. He came over to my trailer and I was with a guy called Conrad Palmisano who is still a legend, one of the greatest stunt co-ordinators in the history of Hollywood. [LeBell and I] were standing there talking about moves and stuff like that and we were just doing some stretching and he was showing me how you can stretch…he wanted to stretch my back and then I kind of flipped over the top of him and said ‘thank you for that.’
There was never any confrontation with him ever. In any way, shape or form. And I swear to god on my children – and they are the most precious thing in my life – if he is saying that he is a pathological scumbag liar. I keep answering that [question]. Either he made up this lie or someone made it up…Gene Le Bell has never even said anything impolite to me. When he has seen me he has been extremely polite to me and just acted like a friend. I think you know the truth here and everyone else knows the truth and if Gene is saying sh*t like that he should be ashamed of himself.
And after I heard this I did start to think of some other things he had said, like he said to me he had beat the shit out of Bruce Lee and I started to think well maybe this guy is a pathological liar. He should never make up these kind of sick…you know…It just makes him look like a total asshole. It makes him look like a demented child.”
There’s a little-known corollary to Occam’s razor called “Buster’s pickle-slicer,” which states the following: When two famous people tell conflicting stories of an alleged altercation, the more entertaining story is the usually the more accurate one, especially when it involves something humiliating happening to Steven Seagal. Considering that Seagal has a well-documented reputation for starting trouble on movie sets, shouldn’t we be more apt to believe LeBell’s version? And more importantly, isn’t that the version you want to believe?
