Testosterone replacement therapy may be one of the primary go-tos among fighters looking to gain an edge over their competition these days, but there’s another equally insidious, ever-expanding method of chicanery being utilized by cheaters far and wide that makes TRT look like a dinosaur technology. I’m talking of course, about MMA fighters smuggling food beneath their skin.
As you can clearly see, Catone, who has struggled with injuries for the majority of his career, replaced his left knee with a grapefruit (or possibly a cantaloupe) at some point prior to his split decision win over Tom Watson at UFC 169 last weekend and is now gloating about it with the above photo, sarcastically adding “Happy to get my hand raised tonight. Unfortunately I’m stuck in a terrible hospital in Newark with a torn ACL.”
Right, Mr. Catone. Tell me more about this “torn ACL” you speak of. A middle finger to the sport of MMA if I’ve ever seen one before.
CagePotato currently has its crack team of top scientists investigating what the possible benefits of CSC are, exactly, and we will update you once they finish pouring liquids from beakers into other beakers. In the mean time, watch your back, Catone. We’re onto you. (*gives Jack Byrnes “watching you” gesture*)
Testosterone replacement therapy may be one of the primary go-tos among fighters looking to gain an edge over their competition these days, but there’s another equally insidious, ever-expanding method of chicanery being utilized by cheaters far and wide that makes TRT look like a dinosaur technology. I’m talking of course, about MMA fighters smuggling food beneath their skin.
As you can clearly see, Catone, who has struggled with injuries for the majority of his career, replaced his left knee with a grapefruit (or possibly a cantaloupe) at some point prior to his split decision win over Tom Watson at UFC 169 last weekend and is now gloating about it with the above photo, sarcastically adding “Happy to get my hand raised tonight. Unfortunately I’m stuck in a terrible hospital in Newark with a torn ACL.”
Right, Mr. Catone. Tell me more about this “torn ACL” you speak of. A middle finger to the sport of MMA if I’ve ever seen one before.
CagePotato currently has its crack team of top scientists investigating what the possible benefits of CSC are, exactly, and we will update you once they finish pouring liquids from beakers into other beakers. In the mean time, watch your back, Catone. We’re onto you. (*gives Jack Byrnes “watching you” gesture*)
Fresh off a one-sided beatdown of Max Holloway at UFC Fight Night: Shogun vs. Sonnen, it appears as if Irish phenom Conor McGregor has his next fight lined up already. Despite suffering a minor LCL sprain midway through the second round of his eventual unanimous decision victory, McGregor’s camp has insisted that the Irishman is fine and that he would prefer to fight on the UFC’s year end card, UFC 168: Silva vs. Weidman II. His coach, John Kavanagh, then proceeded to call out TUF 14 winner Diego Brandao, who in turn accepted the fight faster than Chael Sonnen on a sightseeing tour across Brazil. If “sights” were asses and “seeing” was kicking them, that is.
Brandao is also coming off a unanimous decision victory at the TD Garden, having bested Daniel Pineda on the Fight Night 26 undercard just two fights previous to McGregor’s aforementioned shellacking of Holloway. The victory improved “DB’s” record to 4-1 in the octagon, with three of those victories coming in his past three fights. It’s at this point that we should all probably start saying that McGregor is an overrated yadda yadda will be exposed yadda yadda you know the deal. CP Prediction: McGregor by cardio.
Fresh off a one-sided beatdown of Max Holloway at UFC Fight Night: Shogun vs. Sonnen, it appears as if Irish phenom Conor McGregor has his next fight lined up already. Despite suffering a minor LCL sprain midway through the second round of his eventual unanimous decision victory, McGregor’s camp has insisted that the Irishman is fine and that he would prefer to fight on the UFC’s year end card, UFC 168: Silva vs. Weidman II. His coach, John Kavanagh, then proceeded to call out TUF 14 winner Diego Brandao, who in turn accepted the fight faster than Chael Sonnen on a sightseeing tour across Brazil. If “sights” were asses and “seeing” was kicking them, that is.
Brandao is also coming off a unanimous decision victory at the TD Garden, having bested Daniel Pineda on the Fight Night 26 undercard just two fights previous to McGregor’s aforementioned shellacking of Holloway. The victory improved “DB’s” record to 4-1 in the octagon, with three of those victories coming in his past three fights. It’s at this point that we should all probably start saying that McGregor is an overrated yadda yadda will be exposed yadda yadda you know the deal. CP Prediction: McGregor by cardio.
In other fight booking news…
Do-or-Die Alert: British middleweight and member of a select group of fighters to score two end-of-the-night awards for a single performance, Tom Watson, has been booked to take on longtime UFC veteran Alessio Sakara at Fight Night 30 in October. On the heels of a suffocating decision loss to Thales Leites at UFC 163 and currently 1-2 in the UFC, Watson is in dire need of a win here. A loss to Sakara (who has dropped his past 3) would likely send the Brit back to BAMMA where he came from.
(Zombies don’t make eye-contact. It’s, like, way too intimate. / Photo via MMAFighting.com)
Tonight, UFC featherweight champion Jose Aldo returns to his homeland to take on South Korean crowd-pleaser Chan Sung Jung — a name that has become synonymous with fast-paced brawls and insane finishes. Will Aldo end the night embraced in the sweaty arms of his countrymen, or will the Korean Zombie put a gruesome end to the champ’s 15-fight win streak?
CagePotato liveblogger supreme Anthony Gannon will be firing off round-by-round results from the “Aldo vs. Korean Zombie” main card after the jump, beginning at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and please drop your own thoughts in the comments section.
(Zombies don’t make eye-contact. It’s, like, way too intimate. / Photo via MMAFighting.com)
Tonight, UFC featherweight champion Jose Aldo returns to his homeland to take on South Korean crowd-pleaser Chan Sung Jung — a name that has become synonymous with fast-paced brawls and insane finishes. Will Aldo end the night embraced in the sweaty arms of his countrymen, or will the Korean Zombie put a gruesome end to the champ’s 15-fight win streak?
CagePotato liveblogger supreme Anthony Gannon will be firing off round-by-round results from the “Aldo vs. Korean Zombie” main card after the jump, beginning at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and please drop your own thoughts in the comments section.
UFC 163 Preliminary Card Results
– Anthony Perosh def. Vinny Magalahes via KO, 0:14 of round 1
– Amanda Nunes def. Sheila Gaff via TKO (elbows), 2:08 of round 1
– Sergio Moraes def. Neil Magny via submission (triangle choke), 3:13 of round 1
– Ian McCall def. Iliarde Santos via unanimous decision (30-27 x 2, 29-28)
– Rani Yahya def. Josh Clopton via unanimous decision (29-28 x 3)
– Francimar Barroso def. Ednaldo Oliveira via unanimous decision (30-27 x 2, 29-28)
– Viscardi Andrade def. Bristol Marunde via TKO, 1:36 of round 1
Greetings, Potato Nation, and welcome to the latest installment of Brazil vs The World. And I’m telling you right now, the Brazilians are kicking the shit out of the world. Since the UFCs glorious return to the land of terrifying ass-kickers, the figures are grim. In fights where a Brazilian fought a foreigner, it’s 33-8 in favor of the home team (not counting UFC 147 seeing as it served as the TUF: Brazil Finale), or about 80%. Now, some of you more cynical bastards have accused the UFC of building mismatched cards to appeal to the fierce nationalism of the Brazilian people. It’s simple logic, really – when Brazilians win their fans go batshit insane. They fall in love with the UFC and become loyal fans with octagon patios like this brilliant psycho.
It’s not an argument without merit. The UFC has made no secret of its uncut hard-on for Brazil. It’s an emerging economy with an expanding middle class that has a few extra ducats to piss away on entertainment. So long as the cards are packed with local talent and they continue to get the better of the world – or as in the case of the Nog/Werdum Fuel event, produce eight freakin’ submission wins – then the sport will continue to grow in Brazil. Certainly nothing wrong with stacking the deck a little.
Okay, now that the divisive hyperbole is out of the way, who’s excited to pay $55 for this one fight card? Anyone? Bueller? Just don’t be judging these fights before they happen, a’ight. Dana White hates that shit, and thinks you’re fucking stupid for it. Never mind that making judgments is how consumers base their decisions on whether or not to purchase products. That’s just an irrelevant detail. If you’re a fight fan, how can you not want to watch Jose Aldo? It matters not that the co-main event is the antithesis of a barn-burner (an ineffective shit-house air freshener, perhaps?), and the rest of the supporting cast is – how do I put this delicately – unknown. But oh, Thales Leites is making his return. So there’s that.
It’s important to realize it’s not about how good the fights turn out to be. This may very well end up being a phenomenal event. But if no one buys the PPV then it doesn’t really matter much. I know the $54 ribeye at The Borgata is heaven on a plate, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to buy it every time I’m there. Because once you account for the bullshit a la carte $16 potato and $23 creamed spinach, your dinner runs north of $100. Maybe I’m in the mood to enrich the casino owners instead, or the independent businesswomen who exercise the ultimate form of supply and demand. Those are the basic choices we make in the world of commerce.
Here we go. The recently retired Brian Stann is filling for Joe Rogan tonight while Joe is off questioning some shit.
John Lineker and Jose Maria Tome
Lineker is a highly touted flyweight prospect. But he has problems making weight. Last night he missed the 126 lb limit by a very substantial three pounds. He also missed weight in his lone UFC loss to Louis Gaudinot, for whatever that’s worth. Lineker opted to pay the 20% fine on his purse rather than desiccate himself in the sauna in a futile attempt to make the weight. Wise choice.
Aside from just a serious record of 33-3, not much is known about Maria. He’s rockin’ an orange Mohawk, and comes in to some bad club music. Let’s see what he’s got.
Round 1: Maria opens with a lot of movement. Lineker goes for an overhand right to start off. Inside leg kick by Maria skims the pills. Lineker is okay. He blasts Maria with a huge overhand right, drops Maria, but he’s up. Maria shoots, kind of a half ass attempt, comes nowhere close. Oh, Marai with a nice spinning backfist, and he’s stumbling, Maria lands another few nice shots. Lineker is wobbly. Maria is letting him off the hook. Lineker kicks to the body, Maria takes him down, moves to half guard. Lineker is up. Now they’re clinched, and Maria knees Lineker in the nuts. The ref stops it, but the tape shows it going to the stomach. Here we go again. Maria throws a spinning back kick, it’s blocked. He shoots on lineker, it’s stuffed. The trade knees in the clinch. Overhand right by Lineker. Maria gets taken down to end the round. 10-9 Maria
Round 2: High kick by Maria, blocked. Lineker with a knee to the body. Maria shoots, misses. They’re up. Linekr lands a big shot that rocks Maria, he’s down and Lineker is pounding away. And it’s over. The ref steps in and calls it. It was a buckled knee, it appears, that dropped Maria, and Lineker swarmed.
Lineker wins via TKO at 1:03 of round 2.
Thales Leites vs Tom Watson is up
Unless you follow the local Brazilian and Swedish MMA circuits you probably haven’t seen Leites in a quite a while. He was cut by the UFC in 2009 following back-to-back losses to Anderson Silva and Alessio Sakara. Much like the horrible lays of your life, it’s impossible to forget a really bad fight, and both of those fights were pretty disgusting. The horribleness of the Silva fight is well documented, but the Sakara fight was pretty awful too. It was so bad actually that the judges gave Sakara a decision that by normal MMA judging standards he shouldn’t have gotten – because, presumably, they blamed Leites for the visual carnage that is seared into our souls like a vicious case of the crabs.
That being said, Leites is 6-1 since then, with four submission wins. And, ya know, the past being the past and all that jazz, the man deserves another shot.
Watson is 1-1 in the UFC, and in his last fight against Stanislav Nedkov, he won both the Fight and Knockout of the Night bonuses to put a cool 100 large in his pocket. And aint shit bad about that.
The only way to scientifically break down this fight: The Mongo factor.
Both of these guys have fought Jesse “Mongo” Taylor, and much like the statistical methodology of having a Wikipedia page, the Mongo factor is infallible. Both fights took place under the MFC banner in 2010, in Alberta, Canada. Watson lost by unanimous decision, Leites won by first round triangle choke. By the power of MMA math that means that Leites should win by flying armbar in the second round as Mongo jerks off in the ballroom to nude photos of Miss Scarlett with a rope around his neck like David Carradine.
See how that works, simple mathematics.
Watson rolls out to The Backstreet Boys wearing a gorilla mask.
Round 1: Leiteds wants to touch, Watson is having none of it. Leites rushes forward with a combo, initiates the clinch. He’s working for Watson’s back, and drags him to the mat. He’s got a hook in, working for the second. He’s got it. Ah shit. Leites looking to lock Watson’s arm down and choke him. Watson defending well. Lot of time left though. Leites has that arm trapped. He’s bashing Watson in the side of the head too. Sucky position for Watson. He’s got his arm free, and they’re battling for wrist control. Nice shots from the back from Leites, good power generated from that position. Watson tries to explode to his feet, aint happening. Leites is glued to his back. Now he’s on top, and Watson escapes, delivers a knee in the clinch. They trade leg kicks. Watson with another. And another. And again. Left hook by Watson, answered by Leites. Head kick by Watson as the round ends. 10-9 Leites
Round 2: Watson opens with a leg kick. Leites punches into the clinch, can’t tie him up. Watson grabs Leites’ neck, and Leites takes him down. He’s in half guard delivering some short shots from the top. Leites is looking for an arm triangle, Watson escapes. Watson gets up, Leites takes him down again. He’s got Watson’s back with hooks in again. Leites is high on Watson’s back, now working for an arm. He’s got it, but Watson is defending well, has Leites stacked up against the cage. Watson is free, and they’re up. Leites with a nice jab, Watson answers with a couple knees. They trade jabs, and Watson’s has more pop on it. They clinch, and Leites with a knee. And another. Watson lands a left hook, Leites responds with a decent combination. Watson lands a knee and an elbow. Close round. 10-9 Leites
Round 3: Leites lands a big left, and Watson’s eye is a bloody mess. Leites clinches, and his back is covered with blood. Leites going for a takedown, not happening. But he’s controlling the fight by pushing Watson up against the cage. Leites has Watson’s back again, looking to take this down. Watson is free, and lands a good elbow. Leites lands a jab, then sticks a takedown. Leites is mounted. Watson rolls to his side, Leites taks his back. Watson stands up, gets dragged back down. Leites with back control again, delivering some punishment to the side of the head. Leites looking for the arm triangle, he’s just got to jump to side control. Watson is a hard dude to choke. Leites can’t get it, but dominates the round. That’s that.
The official decision is in, and it’s Thales Leites by unanimous decision, 30-27 across the board.
Sergio Moraes and Neil Magny are on from the undercard. I aint calling this shit, we already told you what happened.
Cezar Ferreira vs Thiago Santos is next up.
Cezar is the middleweight TUF: Brazil winner. He hasn’t fought in over a year due to injuries, and the only thing I remember about him is that he throws a shitload of kicks.
Santos is a natural welterweight making his UFC debut at middleweight. He sports a 8-1 record with five finishes, but he doesn’t have a Wikipedia page, which means there’s no way in hell he can win this fight. However, Cezar is a Blackzillian, which evens the odds considerably.
And there’s always someone. Santos comes out to the Rocky theme.
Vitor Belfort smacks the hell out of Cezar to fire him up.
Round 1: Cezar opens with a low kick, misses. Cezar lands a good shot, then goes to the body. Santos is hurt, and Cezar gets the guillotine. Wow, very quick and impressive.
It was a huge left that rocked Santos, Cezar saw it and locked on the choke.
Cezar Ferreira gets the sweet submission at only the 0:47 mark of the first round.
Amanda Nunes and Sheila Gaff get some PPV time.
Lyoto Machida and Phil Davis are up.
If Rogan were around for this event, he would surely describe this as an “interesting fight.” That’s kind of what you say when you’re not quite certain how to sell it. You can’t rightly say,” Hmm, Davis has about a 1% chance to win this thing, and oh yeah, there’s like a 98% chance it’s going to be a suck-ass fight.” So, “interesting” it is.
The two pertinent questions: Can Davis take Machida down? And with two promised title shots already yanked out from underneath him, will Lyoto stick to his tried-and-true formula of waiting until the final round to actually get his piss-drinking ass into the fight?
On the first question, it’s doubtful. Machida had ridiculous takedown defense. Sure, Davis is a great wrestler, and even though Machida is a BJJ blackbelt, I believe Davis is the better all-around grappler. But I cannot see him penetrating Machida’s base consistently enough to earn a victory in that manner.
As for the second question, who the hell knows. When Machida’s aggressive, he’s downright nasty. But he’s rarely aggressive. He should take this fight regardless, but to make a compelling case for another shot at Jon Jones he needs to have like another Rashad type win.
Davis rocking his customary hot pink tights, young as hell too.
Machida had the crowd fired up by coming out to a song everyone seems to know. Must be like the Brazilian version of “Sweet Caroline.”
Round 1: Davis kicks to the body to start things off. Tries again, Machida avoids. Davis goes with the low kick, Machida responds with one of his own. Machida drops his hands, perhaps goading Davis into a stand up exchange. Davis checks a leg kick, goes for the Superman punch, misses. Machida with a front kick to the body, skims Davis. Machida with a high kick, Davis blocks. Machida lands a straight left. Front kick to Davis’ body again. Davis kicks to the body. Machida exploded with a nice combination, ends it with a knee. Davis shoots, sticks a takedown. He’s in side control, and if he can do some damage he can steal this round. Machida gets him to half guard, and the round ends with a few shots to the body. He didn’t do enough to win the round. 10-9 Machida
Round 2: They trade front kicks. Machida kicks to the body, Davis blocks. Machida goes high this time, it’s deflected but still looks like it stung. Davis with the head kick, Machida backs away. Superman punch by Davis, lands on Machida’s chest. Davis clinches, Machida shrugs him off. Machida with a hook, Davis misses a wild overhand right. Davis lands an overhand right. Machida kicks the body. Low kick by Machida. Davis shoots, Machida defends. He shoots again, stuffed again. Front kick misses by Davis. Machida with a straight left. Then a nice right, but Davis scores a takedown. A couple knees to the body. Not much damage, but closer round. 10-9 Machida
Round 3: Davis misses a right to starts off the round. Davis with a kick, Machida with a jab. Two Superman punches by Davis, misses badly on both. Machida blocks a front kick. Davis being more aggressive this round. A shot by Davis I shrugged off. Front kick lands by Machida. Knee to the body by Machida, he ends up on top. Davis stands up with Machida on his back, escapes. Good kick by Davis, Machida responds with a big right. Davis is shrugged off yet again. Machida tries for a knee on the separation, misses. Machida lands a straight right, Davis answers with a nice kick to the body. Davis clinches, shoots, can’t stick the takedown. Machida lands a right to the grill, then a low kick. Davis shoots again, misses. Machida didn’t do much, but he did enough. Machida 10-9.
The decision is in, and it’s 29-28 across the board for Phil Davis. Wow.
The fans are not happy. It wasn’t a terrible decision. Shit, Machida just doesn’t do much.
The main event is next, Jose Aldo vs Chan Sung Jung
The Korean Zombie is on a roll. He’s finished his last three opponents, picked up four fight night bonuses in that time, and won himself a legion of fans in the process. But, he’s facing one of the Top 3 nastiest fighters in the world. Jose Aldo is just operating on a different level than anyone else at 145. A perfectly placed shot to the mandible can end anyone’s night, but unfortunately for the Zombie that’s probably not how this will play out. More than likely this will end in a loss and an unimaginable amount of pain in the legs tomorrow morning.
But ya gotta give the Zombie credit for one thing, he sure can talk some shit. His quote from the weigh-ins, “People may think Aldo is the favorite, but I think differently.” Damn, he went there.
Zombie comes out to “Zombie” from the Cranberries. Makes sense.
Some dickhole steals Aldo’s hat on his way to the cage. The champion looks focused and terrifying.
Round 1: Herb Dean is in charge, and the shit is on. Jung throws the first leg kick, misses. Aldo misses a jab. Jung charges forward, misses. Also lands an overhand right. Then a jab to the chest. Jung with a left to the dome. Aldo sticks a jab, misses the following right. Jung with a high kick, too high, goes right over Aldo’s head. Aldo with a leg kick, skims. Aldo with a left hook, finishes with a leg kick. Jung with a low kick of his own. Jung comes up short on a jab. Jung fakes a takedown, comes over the top with a right. Aldo takes Jung down, but he spring right back up in the scramble. Damn, spinning wheel kick from Aldo to end the round. Close round. 10-9 Aldo
Round 2: Jung is stalking Aldo, moving forward. Lands a front kick. Jung charges in, Aldo lands two shots to the chops. The champ misses an uppercut, sticks a jab. Jung hooks, Aldo ducks and lands a couple to the body. Goes to the body again, then a hook to the face. Aldo sticks another stiff jab. Jung with a kick to the thigh, then misses an overhand. Another jab from Aldo. Jung ducks under an overhand right. Another jab by Aldo, stuns Jung. Oh, and jung lands a nice overhand right that knocks the champ back. Aldo shoots and takes Jung down. He’s in side control. Jung gets to half guard, now full guard. The round ends with no damage from the top. 10-9 Aldo
Round 3: Left hook by Aldo. Jung jumps in with a knee, Aldo catches Jung and slams his ass down. Jung trying to wall walk back to his feet, Aldo keeping him in place. Jung with a few shots to the ear, and he’s up. Aldo has him against the cage, looking for another takedown. Gets it, but Jung is back to his knees, working to get back up. Aldo working really hard for these takedowns. They’re stalled, and Herb stands them up. Oof, Jung with a nice combination. Aldo going for another takedown. Jung defending very well. Jung tries to lock on a choke, can’t get under the chin. Jung with some decent elbows to the temple. Aldo is glued to him here. Herb separates them again. Flying knee again from Jung, misses, they both go down. Not sure how to score that one. I’ll guess 10-9 Aldo
Round 4: Jab from Jung. Aldo answers in kind. Aldo misses a big hook. Jung lands a left, misses a right. Three kicks in a row to the shoulder from Aldo, and it appears that Jung’s shoulder separated. Yuck. Aldo takes him down, gets the finish, and Jung is lying there in agony. His shoulder is fucked.
The replay shows the separation, and it’s pretty nasty. Aldo saw it and commenced to kick the shit out of it. That was gnarly.
The official decision is a TKO at 2:00 of round 4 for Jose Aldo. That’s that. I got to roll. Been holding in a deuce since Leites/Watson. Thanks for chillin’, we’ll be back tomorrow to analyze this shit.
This Saturday night, Zuffa heads to Rio de Janeiro — home of beautiful beaches and even more beautiful beetches (waka waka!) — where a seemingly unstoppable champion plans to defend his featherweight strap against a zombie. Come on, that’s gotta be worth sixty bucks. This may be a PPV light on star power, but we all know what happened the last time a card held in Brazil without much star power turned out.
And with each pay-per-view comes the best damn gambling advice you will find on the Internet (YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH), so join us as we break down some of the undercard as well as all of the main card bouts for UFC 163. All odds courtesy of BestFightOdds.
In lieu of Demetrious Johnson’s performance last week, -400 for Ian McCall to beat Santos is parlay bound. Santos had trouble getting out of the gate in his UFC debut and will surely put up a stronger performance, but “Uncle Creepy” has fought 6 rounds (and even won a few!) with the champion in the division. There is always a possibility of the hometown judging playing the culprit or Ian having a mental breakdown whilst reflecting on his life as of late, but if McCall loses here, it will almost be worth losing the bet to see what happens next with him. McCall to win.
By Dan “Get Off Me” George
This Saturday night, Zuffa heads to Rio de Janeiro — home of beautiful beaches and even more beautiful beetches (waka waka!) – where a seemingly unstoppable champion plans to defend his featherweight strap against a zombie. Come on, that’s gotta be worth sixty bucks. This may be a PPV light on star power, but we all know what happened the last time a card held in Brazil without much star power turned out.
And with each pay-per-view comes the best damn gambling advice you will find on the Internet (YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH), so join us as we break down some of the undercard as well as all of the main card bouts for UFC 163. All odds courtesy of BestFightOdds.
In lieu of Demetrious Johnson’s performance last week, -400 for Ian McCall to beat Santos is parlay bound. Santos had trouble getting out of the gate in his UFC debut and will surely put up a stronger performance, but “Uncle Creepy” has fought 6 rounds (and even won a few!) with the champion in the division. There is always a possibility of the hometown judging playing the culprit or Ian having a mental breakdown whilst reflecting on his life as of late, but if McCall loses here, it will almost be worth losing the bet to see what happens next with him. McCall to win.
Anthony Perosh comes in as the +300 underdog, partly thanks to his 7 second appearance in his last Octagon performance. The “Hippo” is well rounded, with his underrated ground game allowing him to pick up two UFC wins as the underdog, but nothing short of the BJJ elite can surprise the decorated grappling star in Magalhaes on the mat. Magalhaes looked strong in his return to the Octagon and looking at Anthony’s willingness to engage in grappling, Vinny to win by submission at +180 is also a nice prop bet. Vinny to win on the parlay.
Main Card PPV:
John Lineker (-440) vs Jose Thome (+350)
Having not lost in 5 years, Jose Thome brings his 33-3 record to his Octagon debut against the always exciting -440 favorite John Lineker. The price is too steep for the favorite and laying anything on the dark horse who is north of 30 years old (where have you been with that record?) is a crapshoot at best. Your best bet on this one is a prop: -185 that this fight does not go to decision. The heavy favorite is always looking for the finish and Jose’s 3 losses all coming inside the distance, with only 3 of his 36 fights going to the cards.
Coming off a KOTN and FOTN bonus, Watson enters as the slight underdog against the returning Thales Leites. Before stopping Stanislav Nedkov, Watson showed improved takedown defense by nullifying the Bulgarian’s grappling game. Unlike his fellow BJJ black belt, Leites is not even remotely a threat in the stand up game compared to Nedkov, so it will be interesting to see how Watson handles the relentless grappling-centric attack of Thales. Watson is training with Jackson’s MMA and at TriStar, which may very well be the right recipe to beat the one time (thankfully) title contender at Middleweight. Watson for the upset.
With only one loss, Santos at +340 to upset the Ferreira is definitely the best long shot payout on the card. Santos has a little bit of everything to offer here, creative striking and strong grappling, whereas Cezar is paying about 20 cents on the dollar for winning TUF Brazil. Santos as long shot underdog +340 or pass.
After Gustafsson, the winner of this fight may be considered the next number one contender du jour (short of this guy maybe) at 205lbs. The stand up fight will be Lyoto’s to lose and the grappling advantages Davis may have will only be useful if the Penn State alum can catch Machida in one spot long enough to secure a takedown. The Dragon is next to impossible to take down, next to impossible to hit and almost next to impossible to watch at times. Davis will have to come out strong and try to get this fight to the ground early to avoid looking up at the clock halfway through the third round realizing he needs to finish the fight to win. Machida to win by decision +115 for a prop bet is a solid risk in this 3 rounder.
-800 for the high rollers is almost worth it here as next to nobody is giving the Korean Zombie a chance to walk away with Aldo’s belt this weekend. This is very much like the odds for Cain Velasquez vs Antonio Silva 2 (in case the first fight left anything to the imagination), with the public dismissing Bigfoot and calling squash match almost unanimously. There is the belief that Jung’s forward fighting style will give Aldo problems, which in retrospect, has been said about many of Aldo’s opponents until the champion connects with his patented leg kicks or “WTF was that?” jab and uppercut combos.
The prop betting on fight duration is interesting, seeing as Jung has no problem being hit. Starting with -114 that fight does not start 3rd round, -169 that fight does not start 4th round and finally -230 Aldo wins inside the distance. Aldo to win (and jump out of the Octagon then into the crowd before Bruce Buffer makes the official announcement).
Parlay 1
-Magalhaes+Machida+Aldo
Parlay 2
-Watson+McCall
Props
-Lineker vs Thome fight does not go the distance
-Magalhaes to win by submission
-Machida to win by decision
-Aldo to win inside the distance
-Aldo/Jung does not start round 3 or 4, your pick
Please share your thoughts on who you like CP nation. Enjoy the fights and may the winners be yours!
(Leites sells tickets to the gun show while Marc Ratner continues to stare at Arianny’s tits. / Photo via Sherdog)
You know, there was a time when this website thought that Thales Leites had a legitimate shot at beating Anderson Silva, or could at least give him a good fight. Neither of those things turned out to be accurate, but at the very least, Leites was a top ten middleweight who had strung together five straight UFC wins in 2007-2008, including first-round submissions of Floyd Sword, Ryan Jensen, and Drew McFedries.
Leites’s title challenge against Silva at UFC 97 was both uncompetitive and dull as hell; there was a lot of butt-flopping from Leites, and a lot of weird crap from a clearly disinterested Silva. Leites followed up the unanimous decision loss with a split-decision defeat against Alessio Sakara, and the UFC gave him his walking papers.
Since then, Leites has gone 6-1 competing for promotions like MFC and Superior Challenge, and is riding a three-fight win streak with victories over Tor Troeng, Jeremy Horn, and Matt Horwich. And so, the UFC is giving Leites another chance, three years after his last Octagon appearance, booking him at UFC 163: Aldo vs. Pettis (August 3rd; HSBC Arena, Rio De Janeiro), against former BAMMA champ Tom Watson. Watson is currently 1-1 in the UFC, and is coming off a TKO win over Stanislav Nedkov at UFC on Fuel TV: Barao vs. McDonald.
Can Leites prove his worth the second time around? Do any of you care? In other UFC 163 booking news…
(Leites sells tickets to the gun show while Marc Ratner continues to stare at Arianny’s tits. / Photo via Sherdog)
You know, there was a time when this website thought that Thales Leites had a legitimate shot at beating Anderson Silva, or could at least give him a good fight. Neither of those things turned out to be accurate, but at the very least, Leites was a top ten middleweight who had strung together five straight UFC wins in 2007-2008, including first-round submissions of Floyd Sword, Ryan Jensen, and Drew McFedries.
Leites’s title challenge against Silva at UFC 97 was both uncompetitive and dull as hell; there was a lot of butt-flopping from Leites, and a lot of weird crap from a clearly disinterested Silva. Leites followed up the unanimous decision loss with a split-decision defeat against Alessio Sakara, and the UFC gave him his walking papers.
Since then, Leites has gone 6-1 competing for promotions like MFC and Superior Challenge, and is riding a three-fight win streak with victories over Tor Troeng, Jeremy Horn, and Matt Horwich. And so, the UFC is giving Leites another chance, three years after his last Octagon appearance, booking him at UFC 163: Aldo vs. Pettis (August 3rd; HSBC Arena, Rio De Janeiro), against former BAMMA champ Tom Watson. Watson is currently 1-1 in the UFC, and is coming off a TKO win over Stanislav Nedkov at UFC on Fuel TV: Barao vs. McDonald.
Can Leites prove his worth the second time around? Do any of you care? In other UFC 163 booking news…
Two light-heavyweights in need of a rebound will also be meeting at the 8/3 card. After being out-pointed by Phil Davis at UFC 159, grappling specialist Vinny Magalhaes will return at UFC 164 against Australian fighter Anthony Perosh, who hasn’t competed since his seven-second knockout loss to Ryan Jimmo at UFC 149 last July. In 20 professional fights, the 41-year-old Perosh has never been submitted. We’re not sure if that will matter against Magalhaes, but there you go.
The UFC makes its first (and only!) U.K. stop of 2012 today, with a card that’s low on star power but high on potential fireworks. If you’re reading this right now, it means you’re at least sort-of interested, and that’s good enough for us. So which heavyweight main-eventer is about to put himself “in the mix”? Can Dan Hardy string together his first back-to-back wins since 2009? Will Matt Wiman be just another notch on Paul “Sassangle” Sass‘s sassbelt? And WTF is wrong with Kyle Kingsbury, anyway? The answers to most of those questions will be revealed shortly.
Handling liveblog business for the UFC on FUEL 5 main card broadcast is George Shunick, who will be stacking round-by-round results after the jump beginning at 4 p.m. ET / 1 p.m PT. Let us know how you feel in the comments section, and refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest. And as always, thanks for spending part of your weekend with us.
The UFC makes its first (and only!) U.K. stop of 2012 today, with a card that’s low on star power but high on potential fireworks. If you’re reading this right now, it means you’re at least sort-of interested, and that’s good enough for us. So which heavyweight main-eventer is about to put himself “in the mix”? Can Dan Hardy string together his first back-to-back wins since 2009? Will Matt Wiman be just another notch on Paul “Sassangle” Sass‘s sassbelt? And WTF is wrong with Kyle Kingsbury, anyway? The answers to most of those questions will be revealed shortly.
Handling liveblog business for the UFC on FUEL 5 main card broadcast is George Shunick, who will be stacking round-by-round results after the jump beginning at 4 p.m. ET / 1 p.m PT. Let us know how you feel in the comments section, and refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest. And as always, thanks for spending part of your weekend with us.
Welcome, fight freaks, to this stackedrelevant British card on Fuel TV. I expect most of you will be getting your updates on the internet for this event, considering half of you don’t have Fuel TV, and the other half can’t find it. Fortunately Potato Nation, that’s why we’re here. Now, on to the fights!
Prelim Results (as if you care):
Robbie Peralta def. Jason Young via Round 1 TKO
Gunnar Nelson def. DaMarques Johnson via Round 1 Submission
Brad Tavares def. Tom Watson via Split Decision
Akira Corassani def. Andy Ogle via Split Decision
Jimi Manuwa def. Kyle Kingsbury via Kingsbu’s eye being battered into oblivion (Round 2)
Now that that’s out of the way, on to our first fight.
Che Mills vs. Duane Ludwig
Round 1: The fighters touch gloves. Mills works dirty boxing the clinch, lands a knee and takes Ludwig down. Passes to side control. Ludwig sweeps, stands, eats a knee and is back underneath, pondering the futility of his actions. Mills working elbows from side control. Ludwig regains guard, Mills lands elbows. Ludwig goes for an armbar, Mills stands and misses a huge right hand. They stand, Ludwig collapses and points to his knee and it’s done. Replay shows his knee just gives out. Possibly a torn ACL.
Che Mills def. Duane Ludwig via knee implosion of Round 1 Very disappointing for Ludwig. Che Mills doesn’t look terribly thrilled either. Hopefully Ludwig will be able to recover and get back to fighting soon. He’s an entertaining guy who always brings the violence. Mills says he loves to fight for the fans and, ever receptive to transparent flattery, the mob showers him with adoration. First win for a British fighter so far.
Next up is a fight from the prelims: Robbie Peralta and Jason Young. I predict a 23 second knockout for Peralta. 23 seconds later, Robbie Peralta gets the knockout. Damn, I’m good.
Next up, British rising star John Hathaway takes on British submission specialist John Maguire. I’ll go out on a limb here and predict the Brit will take this one.
John Hathaway vs. John Maguire
Round 1: The welterweights touch gloves. They feel each other out for the first 30 seconds. Hathaway attempts a high kick, which is blocked. 1 minute in, little action. Hathaway lands a low kick. Hathaway moves forward, lands a few punches and a knee. They reset. 2 minutes in, nothing of significance has landed. Nice counter left by Maguire. Hathaway almost lands a head kick. Goes high again, and is blocked. Neither guy looks comfortable in their stand-up. Hathaway lands a take down, but his momentum sends him flying into the fence, well past Maguire. They stand. (Ugh.) Maguire lands a few nice shots. Maguire shoots, but Hathaway hits the switch and… they stand. The bell sounds. 10-10, really, but if I had to guess I’d say the judges lean Hathaway because he controlled the center of the Octagon.
Round 2: Hathaway telegraphs a right and misses wildly. Lands an inside leg kick. Hits a head kick! Hathaway leaps in a clinches with Maguire along the fence and takes him down. He’s in half guard, landing short hammerfists to Maguire temple. Maguire controlling his posture, attempts to sweep him. Hathaway stands, lowers into guard. Maguire attempts a triangle, now working out of half butterfly guard. Hathaway landing short shots, Maguire still controlling his posture. Hathaway stands, goes back into half guard. Now mixing shots to the body. Maguire regains guard, Hathaway stands again, then takes a knee and grabs half guard. Landing more punches, passes to side control. Hathaway landing shots to Maguire’s head, and Maguire is beginning to tire. Hathaway is relentless, if not terribly violent. He stands and the bell sounds. 10-9 Hathaway.
Round 3: The fighters touch gloves again. Hathaway misses a front kick. He’s pressing forward, though, and Maguire has no answer for him on the feet. Hathaway lands a knee against the cage. Maguire lands a left, but he hasn’t put together combinations and he’s having trouble getting inside on Hathaway. Hathaway isn’t landing anything of substance, though, but he’s controlling the fight. Hathaway finally lands a right hand following a blocked head kick. This is becoming a glorified sparring match. Maguire shoots and lands a takedown! Passes to side control. Can the gypsy jiu-jitsu expert get a submission with one minute left? Hathaway recovers half guard, now full guard. Hathaway throwing elbows from the bottom. They exchange, with Maguire seemingly content to sit in full guard. He stands and Hathaway lands upkicks as the bell sounds. 10-9 Hathaway, who should take the unanimous decision.
John Hathaway takes the unanimous decision (30-27′s all around). No surprises there. Hathaway looked unimpressive in victory and Maguire looked even more unimpressive in defeat. British MMA, people! At least it isn’t Ultimate Ball.
Paul Sass vs. Matt Wiman
Round 1: Two exciting lightweights about to square off. Sass’ ground game ain’t nothing to fuck with. They touch gloves, Sass grabs the single. That was quick. Working from full guard, he maneuvers them to the fence. Sass lands body shots as Wiman controls his posture. Nice elbows from Sass. Wiman answeering from the bottom. Sass goes for a leg lock, but can’t get it. Now he goes for an omoplata! Wiman escapes. Sass sweeps and gets the takedown. Sass goes for another ankle lock, abandons it. Now Sass is caught in a triangle! But he escapes. Wiman throwing elbows. Sass lands some huge shots from the top! Wiman going for an armbar. Sass throws a knee while defending. Wiman gets the armbar! That’s it, Wiman beats Sass at his own game. Easily the best fight so far.
Matt Wiman def. Paul Sass via armbar in one round. Matt Wiman is holding back tears in the post-fight interview. Not because he’s overwhelmed by emotions, but because interviewer Jon Anik smells like onions. Then he makes silly faces at cameras.
Now we’re treated to another prelim fight: Iceland’s Gunnar Nelson against DaMarques Johnson. Solid, entertaining affair that showed just why so many people are talking about Nelson as he submits Johnson with a rear naked choke in the first round. Dude fights with the calm, cold demeanor of certain other fighter from the northern wastes. He just needs a sweater with mystical violence-enhancing abilities.
Up next is possibly the most exciting fight of the night – which is saying something after Wiman vs. Sass – as Brad Pickett takes on Yves Jabouin. Really excited for this one. I think I’ll call my friends using my MetroPCS service while I reach for a NOS energy dri- oh god, these commercials are destroying my brain.
Brad Pickett vs. Yves Jabouin
Round 1: Fighters touch gloves, Pickett moves forward. Then he gets poked in the eye. He says he’s OK. Pickett swinging wildly while Jabouin going for kicks. Pickett lands a jab. Jabouin lands a high kick, followed by knees and kicks. Pickett lands a left hook. Jabouin land a kick. They exchange with both landing. Big knee from Jabouin, but Pickett lands counter hooks. Pickett lands an uppercut, followed by a hook. Jabouin lands a right straight. Pickett goes flying in with a hook. Right to the body by Pickett, Jabouin lands a spinning back kick, stuffs a takedown. OH MY GOD! Pickett lands a HUGE uppercut and Jabouin is OUT! Wow. Pickett plays to the crowd, possibly attempting to incite a riot. Replay shows Pickett followed up with two violent shots. No doubt there – Jabouin is out cold. KO of the Night, no doubt.
Brad Pickett def. Yves Jabouin via first round KO. Very thankful Pickett ended that fight in the first round – live-blogging bantamweights is not easy. Replays show Pickett did the Gangnam dance after the fight. Someone get a .gif of that ASAP. Well, that was satisfying. Pickett puts on his trilby hat, gives his interview in barely comprehensible Brit-speak, and leaves the cage. Like a boss.
Dan Hardy vs. Amir Sadollah
Woah, we get walkouts for this one! Amir walks out to unidentifiable dance music. The original MMA hipster enters the cage, and the lights go out right before Dan Hardy’s music hits. Hardy comes out with the trademark bandana and “England Belongs to Me” by the Sex Pistols Cock Sparrer. (Dur.) The crowd eats it up and sings along.
Dan Hardy vs. Amir Sadollah
Round 1: The crowd chants “Hardy!” as Bruce Buffer announces the fighters, before booing Amir. (I’m not typing “Sadollah” over and over.) The Hardy chants come back for the staredown. Fight starts, they don’t touch gloves. Amir takes the center of the Octagon. Amir lands a kick and eats a counter. Hardy blocks some shots. Amir lands a low kick. Then another. Inside leg kick Hardy. Amir goes for a head kick and misses. They exchange, neither connecting with anything hard. Hardy lands a left hook. Then another. Low kick Amir. Inside leg kick Amir. Big right from Hardy. Another inside leg kick from Amir. Hardy is looking for the left hook and lands it. Misses with a right, but lands a jab. Amir returns the favor as the crowd chants “Hardy”. Sadollah gets a body lock and pushes Hardy into the fence. They exchange knees, and Hardy reverses position. Hardy lands an elbow and they exchange knees some more. They separate. Big shots from Hardy! Hardy grabs a Muay Thai clinch, lands some knees and they’re back on the fence. Another big elbow from Hardy. Amir counters with dirty boxing. The round ends as Hardy attempts a hip toss. 10-9 for the Brit.
Round 2: Hardy checks a kick, lands a knee as Amir comes in. High kick blocked by Amir. Hardy lands a low kick. Nice counter left by Amir. Hardy snapping that left hook. Cross by Hardy. Right to the body by Hardy followed by an inside leg kick. Big right hand by Hardy. He’s in total control this round. Hardy lands a double leg! (What? Is this the real Dan Hardy we’re watching?) Sadollah stands, Hardy presses him against the fence. Amir trying to get a body lock, but he can’t get off the fence. Wait, yes he can. He reverses position. But then Hardy returns the favor. Nice left by Sadollah. They separate. Low kicks from Sadollah. Another double leg from Hardy! Throws an elbow to the body, Sadollah working from half butterfly guard. Now full guard. Ground and pound from Hardy. Sadollah angling for an armlock. Hardy landing hammerfists, almost in side control. The bell sounds, another round for Hardy.
Round 3: Counter left from Hardy. Hardy backing Amir up, but not laning too much. They exchange kicks. Hardy goes for a takedown, but Amir defends along the fence. They’re in the clinch again. Hardy lands a knee. Amir goes for a trip, doesn’t land it, but he switches position on the fence. They break. Hardy lands a left hook, dives in for a superman punch and Amir ducks and goes for a takedown. Hardy defends and they’re on the fence. Hardy looks like the fresher fighter. Amir goes for a head kick and slips. Hardy charges forward, grabs a body lock and nails the takedown. Hardy lands shots while Amir attempts triangles and armbars. Hardy lands some short elbows as he defends. Amir has trouble maneuvering with the fence in his way. More elbows from Hardy. Big ones now. Amir is cut. Hardy continues to punish him. Amir rolls out, shoots for a single. Hardy answers with a knee. Hardy lands a big combo punctuated by a left hook. Dominant round for Hardy, who should take all the rounds on the scorecards.
Hardy takes the decision 29-28 on two cards and 30-27 on the third. Hardy screams “OYYY-OYYYY!” or something in the microphone. The mob responds in kind. Hardy showed a new wrinkle in his game today, and it paid off for him. For Sadollah, it was a rough night, but still a solid fight. Hardy dances with his cornermen and leaves the ring. Those cheeky Brits. Next up: THE MAAAAAIIIIIINNN EVENT. OF THE EVENING!
Stefan Struve vs. Stipe Miocic
Stipe Miocic enters to Linkin Park, despite not being a prepubescent suburban white kid from 2002. -100 for you, sir. Stefan Struve enters to… Godsmack. The state of MMA entrance music is not looking too good right now.
Round 1: The fighters high five. Miocic takes the center of the Octagon. Immediately, it appears Miocic will have trouble closing the distance. He throws a left hook, right cross. Both blocked by Struve. Doubles up on the jab, but Struve backs away. Lands a body shot. And another. Inside leg kick by Miocic. He goes to the body again. And again. That looks like his gameplan. Struve moves forward, lands a left hook. Jab by Miocic. Miocic is beginning to get inside. Inside leg kick Miocic. Then an overhand right. Struve throws a head kick, thena flying knee. Miocic works the body some more. Knee by Struve. More shots to the body by Miocic, followed by a right. Struve hits a knee, Miocic takes him down but jumps out of a leglock attempt. They stand. Head kick Struve, but Miocic counters. Struve misses a knee. Another shot to the body. Miocic catches a kick, but misses the counter. More body work. Jab by Struve, then a knee. Big leg kick from Struve. Big jab from Miocic. The bell sounds, 10-9 Miocic.
Round 2: Inside leg kick Miocic. Big kick to the body by Struve. Miocic doubles his jab, but gets kicked in the balls on the way in. After a brief break, the action resumes. Left hook, cross form Miocic. He follows up with uppercuts. Inside leg kicks from both men, and Miocic escapes a clinch attempt. Struve is looking to take this fight down. jabs from Struve. Body shot from Miocic. Left hook from Struve, who is loosening up. Body shots from Miocic. Struve now rushes forward. Miocic is hurt. Struve throwing uppercuts. They break. Miocic still isn’t 100%. Struve landing uppercuts again. Miocic is retreating. But lands a BIG left hook. BIG right hand from Miocic. Both guys have been hurt. Miocic is wobbly, but landing heavy shots. Right from Miocic. Big combo from Struve! Body shot from miocic. Miocic slipped, Struve takes advantage and unloads on Miocic. Miocic stays on his feet, but he’s out of it. Herb Dean steps in and that’s all she wrote. Legit stoppage. Struve wins via TKO.
Stefan Struve def. Stipe Miocic by TKO in the second round. Struve looks much improved on the feet, at least when he actually decides to set his offense up with a jab. When he started doing that in the second round, he became a completely different fighter. Still, for a guys who’s so tall and has such a long reach, he really needs to find a way to be less hittable if he wants to contend for the title any time soon. As for Miocic, this is definitely a setback. He landed some serious shorts, but he couldn’t really get past Struve’s jab. That was the beginning of the end.
Speaking of the end, that’s it for the fights! You may now return to your normally scheduled Saturday programming of imbibing massive quantities of alcohol with your fellow amoral miscreants. Goodnight Potato Nation!
