Tag: traditional martial arts

Martial Arts Fail of the Week: A Kung Fu Instructor With a Chuck Liddell-Level Beer Gut

Another weekend, another Martial Arts Fail of the Week.

Today we don’t have anything quite as scandalous as instructors telling you to shit yourself or claiming that defeating a wrestler is as easy as sidestepping a takedown.

Instead, we have an example of the kind of shoddy martial arts techniques being taught in dojos across the country. This is the kind of stuff Martial Arts Fail was originally started to expose: Techniques of dubious validity practiced on partners that are totally compliant. How is that kind of stuff supposed to teach a person how to fight and defend themselves?

So anyway, this week’s example is from a San Soo Kung Fu school. If you’re an MMA history buff, you’d recognize that name. UFC 2‘s Thaddeus Luster was a representative of the style (and he got dominated by a Sambo practitioner). This school in particular belongs to Bill Hulsey, the instructor in the video, who’s been running the school for 39 years.

To us, the video typifies martial arts. An old, deified “master” with a huge beer gut makes himself look like a Mortal Kombat character by beating up a compliant student.

The guy has tons more videos. Have a look at some of the highlights:

Another weekend, another Martial Arts Fail of the Week.

Today we don’t have anything quite as scandalous as instructors telling you to shit yourself or claiming that defeating a wrestler is as easy as sidestepping a takedown.

Instead, we have an example of the kind of shoddy martial arts techniques being taught in dojos across the country. This is the kind of stuff Martial Arts Fail was originally started to expose: Techniques of dubious validity practiced on partners that are totally compliant. How is that kind of stuff supposed to teach a person how to fight and defend themselves?

So anyway, this week’s example is from a San Soo Kung Fu school. If you’re an MMA history buff, you’d recognize that name. UFC 2‘s Thaddeus Luster was a representative of the style (and he got dominated by a Sambo practitioner). This school in particular belongs to Bill Hulsey, the instructor in the video, who’s been running the school for 39 years.

To us, the video typifies traditional martial arts. An old, deified “master” with a huge beer gut makes himself look like a Mortal Kombat character by beating up a compliant student.

The guy has tons more videos. Pretty much all techniques involve slapping the enemy in the balls. Have a look at some of the highlights (and by the way, thanks to Ryan R. aka “SonOfSerbia” for tipping us about this guy):

If you see any video that’s good (or bad) enough to make the cut, let us know! Send it to [email protected].

Martial Arts Fail of the Week: Defeat Attackers By Staring At Them and Stop Swords With Your Mind

Another weekend means another Martial Arts Fail of the Week!

Today we have a Bullshido master who’s EVEN WORSE than the Finnish chi master who telepathically subdued his foes.

His name is Masanori Abe, and his powers are so lethal he can drop you to the canvas with just a stare! Watch the above video for proof.

This guy is also a master swordsman–and not through years of training and lightning-quick reflexes, but through magic. In the below video, watch him stop his opponent’s training swords through pure mental fortitude. Check it out after the jump.

Another weekend means another Martial Arts Fail of the Week!

Today we have a Bullshido master who’s EVEN WORSE than the Finnish chi master who telepathically subdued his foes.

His name is Masanori Abe, and his powers are so lethal he can drop you to the canvas with just a stare! Watch the above video for proof. Rumor has it he developed this technique by watching Care Bears.

This guy is also a master swordsman–and due to years of training and lightning-quick reflexes, but through magic. In the below video, watch him stop his opponent’s training swords through pure mental fortitude:

What’s his story? Well, we’re not sure. His Facebook page has been around for less than a month, and a Google search yielded nothing. All we found was the Facebook page, his YouTube videos, and other Facebook pages linking to the videos. Weird.

To borrow Brian Kilmeade’s words about Scott Morris at UFC 2, “We don’t know much about him, because he is a ninja.”

We don’t know much about Abe because he’s a mysterious chi master. He probably lives atop a mountain, and only trains those with the determination and mettle to reach the summit. By that, we mean he probably drives a truck and will teach anyone whose checks cash.

If the garbled translations Facebook offered are anything to go by, he apparently teaches at a place called Kenmochi Martial Arts Center in Kama, Japan. We Googled this and nothing appeared. Maybe only those with the heart of a pure martial artist can see the website. Who knows.

For what it’s worth, here’s a passage from their Facebook page, translation via Facebook:

To the facebook page of the Japan kenmochi martial arts center-flow military family Association Headquarters there.

Japan Kobudo preservation association and the military family Association on mental martial arts through the ancient martial arts of Japan with 1300 years of history “to bow beginning to end with general education, intended to bequeath to future generations the spirit and skills together with the sound development of the mind and body. “The aim of the Japanese Old Martial Arts Studying and Training Association is bring the body and spirit up healthy with training and studying the spirit and culture of Samurai Budo as”the a of with end and with Start a bow bow”based on the history of more than 1,300 years and to pass those spirits and arts to the future. Can tour? s introduction of recruiting”Division training and experience. ? Wed-Fri 19: 30-21: 00 Sun 13:30-17:00 ? Japan kenmochi martial arts center-flow military family of Soke Shihan Okuma Shigenobu

Yeah, not the clearest. Perhaps deciphering the Engrish is just another part of the test to determine whether you’re worthy of learning the techniques.

Keep in mind this dude’s stuff is so ridiculous he MAY be doing a parody of a Bullshido guy. Then again, there were people legitimately trying to present Balinese White Magic as the world’s greatest martial art, so you never know. We’re going to keep looking for information and see if this is a real thing or just a parody. In the mean time, check out another video of him destroying his students with the Force:

By the way, this edition comes from a tip sent by Cameron D. Thanks, Cameron!

If you see any video that’s good (or bad) enough to make the cut, let us know! Send it to [email protected].

Willie Nelson Earns Fifth-Degree Black Belt in a Martial Art You’ve Never Heard Of

(Props: USA Today)

GongKwon Yusul is a modern Korean martial art system that “emphasizes the application of striking, locking and throwing techniques in practical, free-flowing fighting situations,” and is influenced by Western boxing and the grappling techniques of judo and jiu-jitsu. Until this morning, I’d never heard of it. But apparently, 81-year-old country music legend Willie Nelson has been studying it for 20 years and just got his fifth-degree black belt in the martial art in Monday. Luckily, the video above doesn’t portray GongKwon Yusul as a Martial Arts Fail of the Week-worthy embarrassment, though we can’t help feeling a little skeptical when Willie discusses the board-breaking involved in the belt tests.

Whatever keeps the Red Headed Stranger happy and active is fine by us. That being said, we will go to our graves defending the superiority of Kuk Sool Won.


(Props: USA Today)

GongKwon Yusul is a modern Korean martial art system that “emphasizes the application of striking, locking and throwing techniques in practical, free-flowing fighting situations,” and is influenced by Western boxing and the grappling techniques of judo and jiu-jitsu. Until this morning, I’d never heard of it. But apparently, 81-year-old country music legend Willie Nelson has been studying it for 20 years and just got his fifth-degree black belt in the martial art in Monday. Luckily, the video above doesn’t portray GongKwon Yusul as a Martial Arts Fail of the Week-worthy embarrassment, though we can’t help feeling a little skeptical when Willie discusses the board-breaking involved in the belt tests.

Whatever keeps the Red Headed Stranger happy and active is fine by us. That being said, we will go to our graves defending the superiority of Kuk Sool Won.

Martial Arts Fail of the Week: This Makes Point Fighting Look Like Frye-Takayama

Remember last week’s Martial Arts Fail–the one with the worst karate demo known to man?

This week, we have a follow-up to that video in the form of a sparring match between two black belts from what appears to be the same school. That’s right, a sleuthing member of Reddit unearthed the dojo’s identity. Apparently, this Taekwondo McDojo is called the World Martial Arts Association and is headquartered in Brooklyn. If the words of an anonymous Redditor who claims to have once been a student can be believed, they charge $40 a class, and $600 per belt test. Here’s the full thread on Reddit, in case you’re interested in this sort of thing.

The funniest (or saddest) part, however, isn’t on Reddit or YouTube, but on the school’s own website…

Remember last week’s Martial Arts Fail–the one with the worst karate demo known to man?

This week, we have a follow-up to that video in the form of a sparring match between two black belts from what appears to be the same school. That’s right, a sleuthing member of Reddit unearthed the dojo’s identity. Apparently, this Taekwondo McDojo is called the World Martial Arts Association and is headquartered in Brooklyn. If the words of an anonymous Redditor who claims to have once been a student can be believed, they charge $40 a class, and $600 per belt test. Here’s the full thread on Reddit, in case you’re interested in this sort of thing.

The funniest (or saddest) part, however, isn’t on Reddit or YouTube, but on the school’s own website. It’s the obviously self-written bio for the school’s headmaster, which ends with the lines “He never hesitates to say that he brings his martial arts acumen to all these endeavors. He has been called by some a ‘Renaissance man.’” Wow. How’s that for pomposity?

And about the video? It pretty much speaks for itself. It’s atrocious non-fighting with some Street Fighter music passed off as legitimate martial arts. That kind of crap makes point-fighting look like some of MMA’s most physical brawls.

If you see any video that’s good (or bad) enough to make the cut, let us know! Send it to [email protected].

Martial Arts Fail of the Week: The World’s Worst Karate Demo (No, Really)

(via Bullshido.net)

This week’s Martial Arts Fail isn’t deriding a dubious technique or making light of a strange weapon. No, this week we’re providing a demonstration of how bad mainstream martial arts is.

Watch the above video. That’s what middle class America thinks martial arts is–awkwardly flailing your limbs while concentrating your ki and shouting like you’re in labor. We must warn you though, this video is bad. You might get chest pain from laughing. Or you might get chest pain from depression at what’s become of martial arts instruction in the United States.

We don’t know the school, or the style (Taekwondon’t? You get it? OK it was lame, sorry). All we know is that it’s awful.


(via Bullshido.net)

This week’s Martial Arts Fail isn’t deriding a dubious technique or making light of a strange weapon. No, this week we’re providing a demonstration of how bad mainstream martial arts is.

Watch the above video. That’s what middle class America thinks martial arts is–awkwardly flailing your limbs while concentrating your ki and shouting like you’re in labor. We must warn you though, this video is bad. You might get chest pain from laughing. Or you might get chest pain from depression at what’s become of martial arts instruction in the United States. Think about it, everyone in that room is a black belt. We know that isn’t news, but it’s still really depressing. Being able to spaz out while in a gi means you’re a certified, street-lethal ninja. Thanks, Obama.

We don’t know the school, or the style (Taekwondon’t? You get it? OK the joke was lame, sorry). All we know is that it’s awful.

On a serious note, teaching people that this kind of stuff is “self defense” is liable to get them hurt. There really should be some kind of law against this kind of crap, since people apparently can’t educate themselves when it comes to martial arts.

Anyway, if you really think you’re ready for this, then by all means, hit the play button. Just don’t say we didn’t warn you about the overpowering amounts of strip mall karate present.

If you see any video that’s good (or bad) enough to make the cut, let us know! Send it to [email protected].

Martial Arts Fail of the Week: Defeating Boxers is THIS Easy

It’s Saturday! Do you know what that means? A day off from the drudgery of office life in middle class America? A lackluster UFC card with a $60 price tag? Unfit for television jobber matches on UFC fight pass? None of these. Saturday means CagePotato’s Martial Arts Fail of the Week!

Last time, we had a bona fide ninja (or as bona fide as a ninja can be) teach us one of Ninjitsu’s most esoteric guard passes. This week, however, we’re revisiting an old friend—Master Wong, of “don’t poke him in the eye or he’ll kill your whole family” fame.

It’s Saturday! Do you know what that means? A day off from the drudgery of office life in middle class America? A lackluster UFC card with a $60 price tag? Unfit for television jobber matches on UFC fight pass? None of these. Saturday means CagePotato’s Martial Arts Fail of the Week!

Last time, we had a bona fide ninja (or as bona fide as a ninja can be) teach us one of Ninjitsu’s most esoteric guard passes. This week, however, we’re revisiting an old friend—Master Wong, of “don’t poke him in the eye or he’ll kill your whole family” fame.

What is the Master teaching us this week? How to best boxers in a street fight. But these boxers are special. They pump “steroids up the asshole” and still wear their boxing gloves  while fighting in parking lots (so they don’t break their hands and ruin their ability to “grab titty”). What’s Master Wong’s secret to putting down pugilists? Is it takedowns? Leg kicks? You’ll have to watch and see. We promise that it’s worth you’re time. We give the video the CagePotato Guarantee™.

 

If you see any video that’s good (or bad) enough to make the cut, let us know! Send it to [email protected]