Armchair Matchmaker: ‘UFC 167: St. Pierre vs. Hendricks’ Edition


(Looks like someone could use a male nurse right about now. Photo via Getty.)

Now three days removed from the most controversial title fight decision since two title fights ago, it seems that we cannot stop talking about the rumors surrounding Georges St. Pierre, his future in the UFC, and what he “owes us,” if anything. But what about the rest of the “doomed” welterweight division, and everyone else who walked away from UFC 167 with a win?

That’s right, it’s armchair matchmaker time, bitches. Join us after the jump for the only non GSP-related article you will read today.


(Looks like someone could use a male nurse right about now. Photo via Getty.)

Now three days removed from the most controversial title fight decision since two title fights ago, it seems that we cannot stop talking about the rumors surrounding Georges St. Pierre, his future in the UFC, and what he “owes us,” if anything. But what about the rest of the “doomed” welterweight division, and everyone else who walked away from UFC 167 with a win?

That’s right, it’s armchair matchmaker time, bitches. Join us after the jump for the only non GSP-related article you will read today.

Rashad Evans: In our eyes, there’s not much to take away from Evans’ dominant victory over Chael Sonnen this past Saturday (*cue Debbie Downer noise*). Sure, he outgrappled and completely controlled an oversized middleweight (who didn’t want to fight him in the first place and already had his next fight lined up, BTW), but anyone who has ever seen a Rashad Evans fight knows that his grappling game is not to be questioned.

Further adding to Evans’ woes is the fact that he’s fought damn near everyone in the LHW division — while he’s a far cry from another title shot, he’s also simply too good to be placed against middle of the pack fighters. There’s only one sensible option for Evans, really, and that’s the winner of the James Te Huna vs. Mauricio Rua fight at Fight Night 33. While Rua has hinted at a drop to middleweight recently, we don’t really believe that he plans to start cutting an additional 20 pounds at this stage in his career. Te Huna, on the other hand, seems like the kind of guy who would fight his mother for the last slice of leftover pizza. In any case, book the winner against “Suga.”

Robbie Lawler: Although I still like our idea of giving GSP (Ed note: Dammit! This is the last time we will mention St. Pierre in this article. We swear.) some much needed time off and booking a Lawler vs. Hendricks interim title fight in his absence, who here wouldn’t rightfully lose their shit over the idea of Lawler vs. the Matt Brown/Carlos Condit winner? Lawler has been on nothing short of a killing spree since reentering the UFC, and a fight with either Brown or Condit has FOTY written all over it. Simple.

Tyron Woodley: Since entering the UFC, Woodley has sandwiched a snoozefest of a decision loss to former top contender Jake Shields between a pair of brilliant first round KO wins over Jay Hieron and most recently Josh Koscheck. Not bad for a guy who was nearly decapitated by Nate Marquardt (who has suffered 2 brutal KO losses of his own since re-entering the UFC) in his final Strikeforce fight. Speaking of Marquardt, we can think of no better fight for Woodley to take at the current time than the last man to defeat “The Great”: Hector Lombard. “Lightning” has been similarly inconsistent since joining the ranks last year, and a fight with Woodley would tell fans a lot about the futures of both men at 170 lbs.

Ali Babaganoushatov: Although our gambling expert, Dan George, correctly predicted that Bageltinov’s grappling prowess would lead him to victory over Tim Elliott, it was still impressive to see how far the Russian has come in just two UFC fights. And being that the flyweight division is currently as shallow as my niece’s SpongeBob Squarepants-themed splashy pool, why not match Borknagarov up with John Lineker?

The Brazilian’s toughest opponent to date by far has been the scale, which has weighed heavily (*self five*) on his current four fight win streak at 125 lbs. It would be interesting, however, to see how Lineker fares against the similarly-streaking Russian, who proved himself to be UFC-worthy in his victory over Elliott (something that most of Lineker’s former UFC opponents have yet to do). What the hell? Give the winner a title shot.

Donald Cerrone: After an up and down year saw “Cowboy” drop 2 out of 3 fights for the first time since his WEC days, Cerrone was finally able to show some flashes of his old self against Evan Dunham last weekend, locking up a SOTN-earning (by default) triangle late in the second round. Cerrone has also been hinting at dropping down a weight class — much to the shagrin of Dana White — but should he stay at lightweight, we’d like to see him take on whoever emerges victorious from the Michael Johnson/Gleison Tibau scrap at UFC 168 next month. Both guys are solid, strong lightweights who have simply failed to break into the upper-echelon of the 155 lb. division over the years, so a fight with Cerrone would make sense for all parties involved.

Who do you think the big winners from UFC 167 should face next, Nation? Let us know in the comments section. 

J. Jones

UFC 167 Salaries: St-Pierre, Evans, Lawler Take Biggest Shares of $1,841,000 Disclosed Payroll


(Rashad Evans made a quarter-million dollars for doing something most Brazilians would do for free. / Photo via Esther Lin, MMAFighting)

The 24 fighters who competed at Saturday’s UFC 167 event in Las Vegas split $1,841,000 in disclosed salaries and performance bonuses, according to figures released by the Nevada State Athletic Commission, with Georges St-Pierre, Rashad Evans, and Robbie Lawler earning the biggest checks. Of course, the $450,000 total for GSP doesn’t include his cut of the event’s pay-per-view revenue — an incentive granted to the UFC’s top stars which has helped give the welterweight champ an estimated annual income of $12 million.

Check out the numbers below, and keep in mind that they don’t include additional revenue from sponsorships or undisclosed “locker room bonuses,” or deductions for taxes, insurance, and license fees.

Georges St-Pierre: $450,000 (no win bonus, includes $50,000 Fight of the Night bonus)
def. Johny Hendricks: $100,000 (includes $50,000 Fight of the Night bonus)

Rashad Evans: $250,000 (includes $125,000 win bonus)
def. Chael Sonnen: $100,000

Robbie Lawler: $166,000 (includes $83,000 win bonus)
def. Rory MacDonald: $50,000

Tyron Woodley: $154,000 (includes $52,000 win bonus, $50,000 Knockout of the Night bonus)
def. Josh Koscheck: $78,000


(Rashad Evans made a quarter-million dollars for doing something most Brazilians would do for free. / Photo via Esther Lin, MMAFighting)

The 24 fighters who competed at Saturday’s UFC 167 event in Las Vegas split $1,841,000 in disclosed salaries and performance bonuses, according to figures released by the Nevada State Athletic Commission, with Georges St-Pierre, Rashad Evans, and Robbie Lawler earning the biggest checks. Of course, the $450,000 total for GSP doesn’t include his cut of the event’s pay-per-view revenue — an incentive granted to the UFC’s top stars which has helped give the welterweight champ an estimated annual income of $12 million.

Check out the numbers below, and keep in mind that they don’t include additional revenue from sponsorships or undisclosed “locker room bonuses,” or deductions for taxes, insurance, and license fees.

Georges St-Pierre: $450,000 (no win bonus, includes $50,000 Fight of the Night bonus)
def. Johny Hendricks: $100,000 (includes $50,000 Fight of the Night bonus)

Rashad Evans: $250,000 (includes $125,000 win bonus)
def. Chael Sonnen: $100,000

Robbie Lawler: $166,000 (includes $83,000 win bonus)
def. Rory MacDonald: $50,000

Tyron Woodley: $154,000 (includes $52,000 win bonus, $50,000 Knockout of the Night bonus)
def. Josh Koscheck: $78,000

Ali Bagautinov: $20,000 (includes $10,000 win bonus)
def. Tim Elliott: $12,000

Donald Cerrone: $146,000 (includes $48,000 win bonus, $50,000 Submission of the Night bonus)
def. Evan Dunham: $25,000

Thales Leites: $20,000 (includes $10,000 win bonus)
def. Ed Herman: $40,000

Rick Story: $54,000 (includes $27,000 win bonus)
def. Brian Ebersole: $18,000

Erik Perez: $36,000 (includes $18,000 win bonus)
def. Edwin Figueroa: $12,000

Jason High: $30,000 (includes $15,000 win bonus)
def. Anthony Lapsley: $8,000

Sergio Pettis: $16,000 (includes $8,000 win bonus)
def. Will Campuzano: $10,000

Gian Villante: $38,000 (includes $19,000 win bonus)
def. Cody Donovan: $8,000

Underpaid: I was kind of surprised to see that Sergio Pettis is being paid like any other eight-and-eight rookie. Not that he deserves more money simply because he’s the lightweight champion’s brother, but I figured his hype would have earned him a slightly bigger contract. Also, Thales Leites has had ten fights in the Octagon and once fought for the middleweight title…and he’s still only making $10,000 to show. Jesus Christ. And yeah, Johny Hendricks just had a $50,000 win bonus and untold future endorsement revenue stolen from him by the judges, but we’ve probably bitched about that enough already.

Overpaid: Nobody, really. I wouldn’t have guessed that Tyron Woodley makes over $50k to show, but hell, everybody at his level should be making that kind of money.

Post-UFC 167 News Roundup: Hendricks-GSP II, Koscheck’s Future, And More


(The pre-fight UFC 167 press conference. The belt didn’t change places. / Photo via Getty)

UFC 167 left a terrible taste in our mouths.

The card was exciting, and the main event, after the last round but before the decision was announced, seemed like it was going to be a passing of the torch. Instead, we got a terrible decision that overshadowed the celebratory atmosphere around the UFC’s 20th anniversary show.

Now, we’re left with more questions than answers. Here’s what we know so far:

Josh Koscheck suffered a brutal KO loss to Tyron Woodley. One might think that the UFC would let Koscheck go since he’s a 35-year-old on a three-fight losing streak and they’ve cut other fighters for less. Yet Koscheck is going to stay in the UFC, at least if he doesn’t retire.

Dana White said that Koscheck will not be cut, and also stated that he had a soft spot for TUF season 1 veterans (aww). However, White also mentioned that he received a text message from Koscheck which “sounded like retirement” but that sometimes fighters say things after fights, presumably things they don’t mean.

White, unhappy (an understatement) about the decision in the main event, also ranted about the Nevada State Athletic Commission.

“It used to be the best commission in the world…I’m fucking scared to come back here and do fights,” Yet, when pressed for specifics about how the UFC would proceed, White was mum. “What more can I do?” he said. “I just don’t know what else needs to be done. It’s unfortunate.”

Of course, the biggest issue we’re all waiting on is a rematch between Georges St.Pierre and Johny Hendricks. Will it happen?

Maybe.


(The pre-fight UFC 167 press conference. The belt didn’t change places. / Photo via Getty)

UFC 167 left a terrible taste in our mouths.

The card was exciting, and the main event, after the last round but before the decision was announced, seemed like it was going to be a passing of the torch. Instead, we got a terrible decision that overshadowed the celebratory atmosphere around the UFC’s 20th anniversary show.

Now, we’re left with more questions than answers. Here’s what we know so far:

Josh Koscheck suffered a brutal KO loss to Tyron Woodley. One might think that the UFC would let Koscheck go since he’s a 35-year-old on a three-fight losing streak and they’ve cut other fighters for less. Yet Koscheck is going to stay in the UFC, at least if he doesn’t retire.

Dana White said that Koscheck will not be cut, and also stated that he had a soft spot for TUF season 1 veterans (aww). However, White also mentioned that he received a text message from Koscheck which “sounded like retirement” but that sometimes fighters say things after fights, presumably things they don’t mean.

White, unhappy (an understatement) about the decision in the main event, also ranted about the Nevada State Athletic Commission.

“It used to be the best commission in the world…I’m fucking scared to come back here and do fights,” Yet, when pressed for specifics about how the UFC would proceed, White was mum. “What more can I do?” he said. “I just don’t know what else needs to be done. It’s unfortunate.”

Of course, the biggest issue we’re all waiting on is a rematch between Georges St.Pierre and Johny Hendricks. Will it happen?

Maybe.

At the post-fight press conference, an infuriated White claimed that he wouldn’t let GSP take a furlough from the sport.

“I want what’s fair and that wasn’t fair,” White said about the decision. “You owe it to the fans, you owe it to that belt, you owe it to this company, and you owe it to Johny Hendricks to give him that opportunity to fight again, unless you’re gonna retire…There’s no ‘Hey listen I’m gonna go on a cruise and be gone for two years,’”

During the post-presser media scrum, Dana White, though much calmer, no-sold St.Pierre’s problems.

“His problems aren’t as bad as he thinks they are. They’re personal problems…it might seem like the end of the world, but it’s not.” “He’s a strong kid. He’ll get through this…he wants to fight…I’m very confident he’s going to work it out.”

Bleacher Report’s Jonathan Snowden seems to think that the rematch is more or less decided upon, which is likely but nothing is official yet, so don’t bank on it.

 

Post-UFC 167 News Roundup: Hendricks-GSP II, Koscheck’s Future, And More


(The pre-fight UFC 167 press conference. The belt didn’t change places. / Photo via Getty)

UFC 167 left a terrible taste in our mouths.

The card was exciting, and the main event, after the last round but before the decision was announced, seemed like it was going to be a passing of the torch. Instead, we got a terrible decision that overshadowed the celebratory atmosphere around the UFC’s 20th anniversary show.

Now, we’re left with more questions than answers. Here’s what we know so far:

Josh Koscheck suffered a brutal KO loss to Tyron Woodley. One might think that the UFC would let Koscheck go since he’s a 35-year-old on a three-fight losing streak and they’ve cut other fighters for less. Yet Koscheck is going to stay in the UFC, at least if he doesn’t retire.

Dana White said that Koscheck will not be cut, and also stated that he had a soft spot for TUF season 1 veterans (aww). However, White also mentioned that he received a text message from Koscheck which “sounded like retirement” but that sometimes fighters say things after fights, presumably things they don’t mean.

White, unhappy (an understatement) about the decision in the main event, also ranted about the Nevada State Athletic Commission.

“It used to be the best commission in the world…I’m fucking scared to come back here and do fights,” Yet, when pressed for specifics about how the UFC would proceed, White was mum. “What more can I do?” he said. “I just don’t know what else needs to be done. It’s unfortunate.”

Of course, the biggest issue we’re all waiting on is a rematch between Georges St.Pierre and Johny Hendricks. Will it happen?

Maybe.


(The pre-fight UFC 167 press conference. The belt didn’t change places. / Photo via Getty)

UFC 167 left a terrible taste in our mouths.

The card was exciting, and the main event, after the last round but before the decision was announced, seemed like it was going to be a passing of the torch. Instead, we got a terrible decision that overshadowed the celebratory atmosphere around the UFC’s 20th anniversary show.

Now, we’re left with more questions than answers. Here’s what we know so far:

Josh Koscheck suffered a brutal KO loss to Tyron Woodley. One might think that the UFC would let Koscheck go since he’s a 35-year-old on a three-fight losing streak and they’ve cut other fighters for less. Yet Koscheck is going to stay in the UFC, at least if he doesn’t retire.

Dana White said that Koscheck will not be cut, and also stated that he had a soft spot for TUF season 1 veterans (aww). However, White also mentioned that he received a text message from Koscheck which “sounded like retirement” but that sometimes fighters say things after fights, presumably things they don’t mean.

White, unhappy (an understatement) about the decision in the main event, also ranted about the Nevada State Athletic Commission.

“It used to be the best commission in the world…I’m fucking scared to come back here and do fights,” Yet, when pressed for specifics about how the UFC would proceed, White was mum. “What more can I do?” he said. “I just don’t know what else needs to be done. It’s unfortunate.”

Of course, the biggest issue we’re all waiting on is a rematch between Georges St.Pierre and Johny Hendricks. Will it happen?

Maybe.

At the post-fight press conference, an infuriated White claimed that he wouldn’t let GSP take a furlough from the sport.

“I want what’s fair and that wasn’t fair,” White said about the decision. “You owe it to the fans, you owe it to that belt, you owe it to this company, and you owe it to Johny Hendricks to give him that opportunity to fight again, unless you’re gonna retire…There’s no ‘Hey listen I’m gonna go on a cruise and be gone for two years,’”

During the post-presser media scrum, Dana White, though much calmer, no-sold St.Pierre’s problems.

“His problems aren’t as bad as he thinks they are. They’re personal problems…it might seem like the end of the world, but it’s not.” “He’s a strong kid. He’ll get through this…he wants to fight…I’m very confident he’s going to work it out.”

Bleacher Report’s Jonathan Snowden seems to think that the rematch is more or less decided upon, which is likely but nothing is official yet, so don’t bank on it.

 

UFC 167 Results: St-Pierre Wins Controversial Decision Against Hendricks


(Tan advantage: Hendricks. Beard advantage: Hendricks. Really, I don’t see how GSP has a shot here. Photo via Esther Lin/MMAFighting)

This week marks the 20th anniversary of the UFC, and so much has changed since the wild, awkward days of the early 1990s. Of course, the UFC’s welterweight division has stayed pretty much the same since 2008 — with Georges St. Pierre at the top, dispatching all comers. Will Johny Hendricks be the man to end St-Pierre’s 11-fight win streak and take the gold belt for himself? Nah, probably not. But if you’re a GSP fan, that shouldn’t really matter.

Also on tonight’s UFC 167 lineup: Chael Sonnen and Rashad Evans duke it out for no apparent reason, while GSP’s heir-apparent Rory MacDonald faces old-school banger Robbie Lawler in a classic meeting of suit guy vs. t-shirt guy. Handling the play-by-play for the PPV broadcast will be Anthony Gannon, who will be stacking live results after the jump beginning at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and throw your own thoughts down in the comments section. Thanks for coming.


(Tan advantage: Hendricks. Beard advantage: Hendricks. Really, I don’t see how GSP has a shot here. Photo via Esther Lin/MMAFighting)

This week marks the 20th anniversary of the UFC, and so much has changed since the wild, awkward days of the early 1990s. Of course, the UFC’s welterweight division has stayed pretty much the same since 2008 — with Georges St. Pierre at the top, dispatching all comers. Will Johny Hendricks be the man to end St-Pierre’s 11-fight win streak and take the gold belt for himself? Nah, probably not. But if you’re a GSP fan, that shouldn’t really matter.

Also on tonight’s UFC 167 lineup: Chael Sonnen and Rashad Evans duke it out for no apparent reason, while GSP’s heir-apparent Rory MacDonald faces old-school banger Robbie Lawler in a classic meeting of suit guy vs. t-shirt guy. Handling the play-by-play for the PPV broadcast will be Anthony Gannon, who will be stacking live results after the jump beginning at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and throw your own thoughts down in the comments section. Thanks for coming.

UFC 167 preliminary card results
– Donald Cerrone def. Evan Dunham via submission (triangle choke), 3:49 round 2
– Thales Leites def. Ed Herman via unanimous decision (30-27, 30-27, 30-27)
– Rick Story def. Brian Ebersole via unanimous decision (30-27, 30-27, 30-27)
– Erik Perez def. Edwin Figueroa via unanimous decision (30-27, 30-27, 30-27)
– Jason High def. Anthony Lapsley via unanimous decision (29-28, 29-28, 29-28)
– Sergio Pettis def. Will Campuzano via unanimous decision (30-27, 30-27, 29-28)
– Gian Villante def. Cody Donovan via TKO, 1:22 round 2

What up, Potato Nation? Tonight is a big Goddamn deal. Not only is GSP in the house looking to defend his title for the 9th consecutive time, but it’s the UFC’s 20th anniversary. That means a little walk down memory lane is in order.

What were you doing on November 12, 1993 on the night that MMA was created? Sure they already had Vale Tudo in Brazil, Pankration dating back to the ancient Olympics, some bootleg boxing/wrestling hybrid matches here in the states, and God knows what other savagery going on in some parts unknown jungle. But none of that shit created modern MMA. UFC 1 did.

I was a senior in high school, probably, like most nights back then, drinking Milwaukee’s Best and smoking dirt weed behind some factory, trying – futilely in most instances – to get myself laid. I had no clue what the UFC was. To me and most of America back then, fighting consisted of boxing, and if you were a major tool, pro wrestling. Jiu jitsu was not a real thing. It was movie shit. It was that weird leg choke thingy Riggs got Joshua with. By 93 even the karate craze of the 80s had died down. All that took was a couple high school parking lot fights where some misguided dipshit was foolish enough to test his Drunken Monkey style against the captain of the wrestling team. Little did we know during those times that we would be witnessing the same shit happening very soon, and that it would spawn a new sport.

We owe our current obsession to the pioneers, the OGs like Royce Gracie, Ken Shamrock, and Art “One Glove” Jimmerson. And even though by modern standards UFC 1 was a total fucking freak show, no fight lasted longer than the 4:20 mark. If a modern event showcased that kind of finishing rate we’d be talking about it as Event of the Decade. It was, quite simply, a brutal spectacle. The only thing you weren’t allowed to do was bite and eye gouge – ya know, for safety ‘n shit. Everything else was fair game: hair pulling, nut punches, titty twisters, Indian burns, wedgies, noogies, wet Willies, smudgies, you name it. And it was Goddamn great. What was supposed to be a one-time tournament to introduce Gracie Jiu Jitsu to America ended up selling 86,000 PPVs. At $30 a clip (correct me if I’m wrong on that) that’s just north of $2.5 million. In other words, Rorian Gracie, Art Davie, John Milius and their group of investors made a little loot. No reason not to do the shit again. The rest is history.

If you were in on the ground floor of MMA, salud. I didn’t catch UFC 1 until 1997, and that was only because I found the tape at the Salvation Army store for $1.50. My Marine buddies and I got blitzed and watched it, all the while beating the shit out of each other with absurd moves poached from Kung Fu Theatre. We could scantly appreciate the significance of what we were watching. But it did peak an interest for more. Not long thereafter though, MMA entered its Dark Ages and that interest waned, until about 2003 when it started to appear more regularly, and guys like Tito Ortiz, Chuck Liddell, and Randy Couture were becoming popular figures even outside the fringe MMA scene.

The culmination of all that history – the beginning, the evolution, the Dark Ages, the Ultimate Fighter, FOX, and of course the totally unconstitutional Cagepotato Ban – is now upon us in the form of amazing athletes like GSP and Johny Hendricks. In 2003 the UFC did five shows. Just a few years earlier UFC fans were forced underground to search for grainy VHS like the creepy pervs in 8MM. This year they’re running 33 events. Next year they’ll do even more. When MMA fans are griping about too many fights, that’s a high class problem.

Anyway, enough about the old days. We got a serious card about to start, and we should all be sporting some wood. Let’s get it crackin’ up in this piece.

No matter what happens tonight, the move of the night goes to Brian Ebersole for getting the absolute shit beat out of him by Rick Story, yet still getting up after the final buzzer and raising his arms in triumph.

Kenny Florian predicts Woodley, McDonald, Sonnen, and GSP. Daniel Cormier goes with Koscheck, McDonald, Evans, and Hendricks. They either forgot there’s a 5th fight on the main card or just totally are ignoring the poor flyweights.

To kick things off we have Tim Elliott vs. Ali Bagautinov

It’s nice that the flyweights are getting some PPV billing here, especially after the epic diss from K-Flo and Cormier. By conventional logic the guaranteed barnburner of Donald Cerrone vs. Evan Dunham should have kicked things off. But here we see the UFC showing the 125ers some good loving. Ali Bagautinov – who for the purposes of keeping shit simple will henceforth be known as just Ali – is a good prospect who has won his last nine, seven by some form of violent stoppage. Plus he’s Russian, so that fills the Ivan Drago slot for emotionless scary dude that any quality fight card is required to have.

Tim Elliot is riding a two fight win streak after falling short versus Jon Dodson in his Octagon debut. He packs a decent punch for a flyweight and is sporting the corn rows.

Round 1: Elliot going forward with his hands down, taunting Ali. Elliot misses a couple jabs, Ali lands a right. Ali misses a huge hook. Elliot goes for a spinning backfist, misses by a mile. They clinch, separate with no damage done. Elliot throws a grossly telegraphed kick, misses badly. The tie up, Elliott with a nice knee to the body. Ali lands a right. Elliott with a leg kick. Ali lands a huge right, buckles Elliott. But he looks recovered. Ali lands another right. Elliott continues to press forward. Ali lands a takedown, Elliott pops right back up. Left hook from Ali, Elliott responds with a combo. Ali misses an uppercut, then a high kick. Ali shoots, Elliott defends. Ali ends the round by landing a solid right, then a kick to the dome. 10-9 Ali

Round 2: Elliott charges forward again, looking like a mad man. Ali misses a straight right, then sticks one. Ali then lands an overhand right, followed by a leg kick. Elliott jumps in with a knee, Ali takes him down. Elliott with a guillotine, looks tight, but Ali escapes, takes Elliott down, but ends up on the bottom in the scramble. Elliott in top position working some ground and pound. Ali sweeps, gets to his feet. Elliott throws a lazy leg kick, Ali answers with a big right, then a left. Kick to the body by Ali. They trade rights, Ali’s looks better. Ali with a left, Tim with a jab. Ali misses big with a hook, Elliott continuing to fight with his hands down. They scramble, no significant damage. Elliott lands a right at the buzzer. Closer round, but Elliott isn’t really landing anything, 10-9 Ali

Round 3: Elliott charges forward, looking to exploit Ali’s fatigue. Ali misses a huge shot, Elliott lands a jab, then another. Ali lands a big leg kick. Elliot lands a couple little jabs, Ali goes straight kick to the body. Left lands by Elliott. Ali sticks a good uppercut. Leg kick by Elliott. Ali lands a left, then a good right, then an uppercut. Ali with an overhand right. Elliott lands a three punch combo, not much on em though. Ali misses a straight right. Then a couple more. Elliott doing good with head movement. Elliott charges in, eats a big right for it. Elliott with a jab. Ali with a head kick, skims the cheek. Ali shoots, Elliott defends. Elliott with a left, Ali responds with a couple shots. Elliott with a slam, a knee, and it’s over. Tough one, 10-9 Elliott

The decision is in, and it’s a unanimous decision for Ali Bagautinov (29-28, 29-28, 30-27)

Next up is Josh Koscheck vs. Tyron Woodley

Here we have two hard-hitting guys who can wrestle. Hardly ever see that in MMA.

Kos holds the record for the most UFC fights with 22. He used to volunteer for any opening that came up. He’d just troll Twitter with his trademark, “Let’s do it, brah” and land a fight. Lately though he’s been taking it a little easier. Dude’s 35 now, had to pull out of his last fight due to injury, and is probably nursing a bunch of little nagging injuries that we never even hear about. It’s common for all fighters, especially the older ones. Some guys come in with an injured hand, others with a sprained ankle. On occasion a guy may even be brave enough to fight with a zit on his taint big and nasty enough to fill a cannoli. We just don’t know.

Who knows if Kos is even into this whole fighting thing anymore. Unlike his pal Jon Fitch, Kos actually did very well for himself. Dude’s got a fat crib, a Ferrari, and a fucking plane. Who has a plane? If you want to feel shitty about how your own life turned out, you can watch Kos and some smokin’ chick take the tour here, or if you prefer, you can watch some painfully annoying gal with gigantic cans talk about it here.

Woodley aint got none of that shit, but he wants it. He’s a dangerous cat. He can knock your punk-ass out with the quickness or put your bitch-ass to sleep (literally) with some horribly boring clinch work. Just depends on how he’s rollin’ that particular day.

Round 1: Woodley begins with a right. Then charges in with a big right, stuns Kos. Woodley with a knee, but Kos pushes him into the cage and is working for a takedown. Woodley defending well, Kos working some knees to the thighs. The fans are getting pisses already. Herb Dean breaks them apart. Woodley lands another nice right, then a leg kick. Kos responds with a mice right of his own, gets Woodley’s respect. Kos misses an overhand right. Woodley drops Kos with a right, working some ferocious ground and pound. Kos ties him up in full guard, trying to recover. Woodley puts Kos into the cage, working some short shots to the body. Herb Dean stands them up. Kos goes hard to the body, Woodley lands a huge right, puts Kos onto a knee, then bashes him again with another one, Kos is out, Dean steps in and stops the action. Very impressive win for Woodley.

The official call is a KO at 4:38 of round 1

Keeping things moving along is Rory McDonald vs. Robbie Lawler

Aside from being the creepiest thing since Buffalo Bill, Rory is widely viewed as the next big thing at 170, that when GSP hangs em up he’s going to glide right into the championship. He’s a bad dude, no doubt, but let’s not go swinging from his metrosexual nutbag just yet. He’s talented as hell, just don’t seem right that a guy who hangs with Mike Ricci hunting for red pants in Montreal thrift shops should be the UFC champion.

Robbie Lawler is in the midst of a serious career resurgence, and yes if I hear that term one more time I’m also going to vomit. Welterweight is always where Robbie belonged, and aside from that awful tramp stamp he’s been looking damn good. The UFC really ought to offer to pay to have that monstrosity removed, for the sake of the company’s image.

Round 1: Lawler starts off with a hard leg kick. And another. Lawler goes high, misses. Front kick by Lawler misses, leg kick lands. Rory lands a counter right when Lawler charges in. Lawler with another low kick. High kick by Rory, blocked. They trade front kicks. Rory skims a high kick. Another leg kick by Lawler. Now Lawler goes high, blocked by Rory. Whoa, Lawler goes in with a huge left, misses. Front kick to the body landed by Rory. Front kick by Lawler blocked, and again. Lawler lands a body kick, then a couple head shots. 10-9 Lawler

Round 2: Lawler opens with another leg kick.. Rory goes for a single, eats a couple shots, let’s go. Rory misses a jab, sticks a front kick to the body. Lawler lands to the body in the clinch, they separate. Rory kicks to the body again, then lands a straight right. Lawler with a right hook, Rory answers with an elbow. Rory lands a straight right to the body. And another. Leg kick by Lawler lands. Rory misses a straight right, then lands a kick to the body. Rory shoots, gets the takedown. Lawler with butterfly guard up against the cage. Lawler trying to get up, Rory cradles him back down, gets back into butterfly guard. Rory not really doing much, but is controlling Lawler. Now Rory explodes with a few good elbows. The round ends with Rory on top, 10-9

Round 3: Lawler lands a big shot, then an uppercut, Rory catches a knee and takes Lawler down. Rory lands an elbow. The ref stands them up when Rory decides to use Lawler’s chest as a pillow. Lawler lands another, and another. He’s on top of Rory, in full guard. This is Lawler’s change to steal the fight. He has to get active. He calls Rory up. Rory with a straight right, Lawler lands a big left. Rory takes a finger to the eye, the ref stops the action. Rory is ok and we start up again. Rory going for a takedown, Lawler defends life his life depends on it. Lawler lands a couple beautiful shots, knocks Rory on his ass. Lawler now in side control landing some good punches. Rory gets half guard, Lawler moves back to side control. Dropping some nice ground and pound. Rory manages to get to guard, and threatens with an armbar. Lawler wants none of it, gets up. Rory lands an easy takedown , dropping elbows to end the round. Great round. 10-9 Lawler

The official decision is in, and it’s a split decision for Robbie Lawler (29-28, 29-28, 28-29)

Next up in the co-main event between Chael Sonnen and Rashad Evans

Rashad needs a good showing here. He’s turned into GSP on Quaaludes. Matter of fact, with the exception of 2008 – where he set in motion the ruination of Chuck Liddell’s career and exposed the “excellent” guard of Forrest Griffin – Shad aint never really set the world on fire. He was just a winner, but exciting performances were the exception rather than the rule. Do not even dare invoke the Sean Salmon headkick. It’s a stain on the history of our sport that Salmon was ever allowed in the UFC. Some quick figures to support that: Salmon has lost his last 11 – all in the first round; 16 of his last 20 – 9 by KO and 7 by submission…on the local circuit. The good news though is that with one more loss Sean has said he’s probably going to hang up the gloves, because hey ya never know, he could go on a run.

Still though, Rashad’s been top of the food chain at light-heavyweight since 2006 and that’s no easy task. Curious to see what sort of strategy he’ll employ here. Will it be the 50 takedowns of certain triumph, or the one where he just dances around and paws at his opponent for 15 minutes? After sitting on the edge of our seats for the past couple months, we finally get to find out.

Chael Sonnen continues to astonish. After talking his way into a title shot, out of his division, Sonnen went and proved the skeptics wrong that he’s all mouth and a few takedowns by submitting Shogun’s tight shorts wearing ass in the first round. With a guillotine, no less. You aint supposed to get Shogun with a guillotine, or any really good jiu jitsu guy for that matter, especially if you’re Chael P. Sonnen and for the first 2/3 of your career you were known for getting submitted. So I say again, Chael continues to astonish. Will he do it again? It really doesn’t matter, because if Sonnen has proven anything it’s that wins and losses don’t really matter much, he’s gonna get his.

Here’s 2014/2015 for Sonnen: granted next heavyweight title shot, gets ass handed to him, somehow comes out smelling like roses, gets elected to House of Representatives on a platform of abolishing money laundering laws on the grounds they’re actually a communist plot to destroy America, gets back into the real estate game.

Round 1: Sonnen comes out looking to be the aggressor. He shoots, Rashad defends, Chael pushing him into the cage. They reverse each other, Chael knees to the body. Rashad drops levels goes for the takedown, Chael defends it. Rashad lands a couple shots to the body. Chael with a knee. Rashad lands a good right, looking for a trip, doesn’t get it. Rashad drops again, gets the takedown. Chael with half guard, Rashad dropping some ground and pound. Chael trying to wall alk, Rashad drags him back down. Rashad with a nice elbow, Chael is in trouble, he’s taking a beating. Rashad gets full mount, Rashad smashing him as Chael goes belly down. That’s it, the ref steps in and ends it.

Awesome fight for Rashad, he really needed that.

It’s a TKO at 4:05 of round 1

And here we go, the main event, Georges St. Pierre vs. Johny Hendricks

There’s a good bit of talk about how this could be the last time we see GSP in the cage, that he’s grown tired of this fighting shit, and how he was piping mad that the UFC didn’t back him in his peculiar quest for VADA testing. Probably a bunch of shit, but who knows. The UFC would be a weird place without GSP. He’s been laying on top of dudes for so long there would be a noticeable void if that magic were to disappear.

Even more amazing than his superior fighting skills is that GSP has managed to be the UFC’s top draw, despite being a somewhat reserved fighter. If you’ve ever been to a GSP-headlined event you know what I’m talking about. Flocks of adoring fans think nothing of making themselves look like humungous dickheads by strapping on those stupid Daniel-san headbands to show their support for the champion. Bitches love him too. You know what they say about guys with tiny Canadian heads, right?

Johny Hendricks finally gets his due. It’s not a stretch to say that no fighter ever, in the welterweight division, has had a rougher road to the title. Hendricks is 10-1 in the Octagon with wins over TJ Grant, Charlie Brenneman, TJ Waldburger, Mike Pierce, Jon Fitch, Josh Koscheck, Martin Kampmann, and Carlos Condit. Basically, no one deserves this more than Johny Hendricks. That being said, aside from a perfectly placed set of knuckles to the mandible, Hendricks will not be the one to dethrone Nate’s man crush.

Round 1: GSP opems with a leg kick. Hendricks throws a bomb, GSP takes him down. Hendricks gets up, they clinch, GSP with a couple knees. Hendricks puts GSP into the cage, they trade knees to the thighs. The ref seperates them, GSP shoots again, Hendricks tagging him as he defends the takedown. GSP still going for the takedown, Hendricks delivers some elbows to the side of the head. GSP abandons the takedown. Now Hendricks going for a takedown, gets it. GSP gets to his feet, they separate. Hendricks goes in with a knee, misses. Leg kick by GSP, then a side kick to the body, then a jab. Head kick by GSP skims. Hendricks with a couple good knees to the thigh in the clinch. And another. They look like they suck. Hendricks with a shot to the head off the separation. GSP misses a straight right. GSP lands a low kick, Hendricks counters with a right hand. Good round, 10-9 Hendricks

Round 2: Sorry people, I just lost everything I wrote for this round. Don’t know what the fuck just happened. Close round, 10-9 GSP

Round 3: Hendricks with a right hook. GSP with a good low kick. Jab by GSP, then a left that lands. GSP front kick missed, but he lands a left over the top. Hendricks wades in hard, lands a glancing right. GSP with a low kick. GSP with a good right. They trade hooks, both land well. Another jab by GSP. Hendricks lands a right, but his punches have a lot less pop on them here in the third round. GSP with a straight right. Hendricks fakes a takedown, eats a left. GSO with a body head combo. Low kick by GP, then a straight right. Hendricks sticks a nice hard straight left. Superman punch lands by GSP. Low kick by GSP, blocks a Hendricks counter. Nice uppercut to the body by Hendricks. He shoots, GSO defends, but Hendricks sticks with it and lands it. Hammer fist for Hendricks, but GSP gets up. 10-9 GSP

Round 4: GSP with a jab. Low kick lands by GSP. Hendricks lands a left, GSP sticks a good jab. Hendricks jabs, GSP answers with a hook. Hendricks charged in, GSP slipped, and Hendricks ends up on top. Lands an elbow, a hammer fist, some body shots. GSP kicks off, and Hendricks lets him up. GSP is bleeding all over the place. No clue why Hendricks let him up. Hendricks lands a good left. Nice jab by Hendricks, followed by a uppercut. GSP lands a right, going for a takedown, Hendricks defends and reverses him against the cage. Hendricks working hard for the takedown, GSP escapes it, now has him against the cage. Hendricks reverses, they trade body shots. Knees from Hendricks find GSP’s thigh. 10-9 Hendricks

Round 5: GSP lands a left hook, shoots, he’s got a leg, but Hendricks is no joke, GSP can’t get him down. Hendricks has GSP against the cage, now looking for his own takedown. GSP with a wide base, they separate. Hendricks with a jab, GSO with a good kick to the body. GSP gets a takedown, he’s got to do some good work down there. But Hendricks is on his way up, GSO has his neck ,GSP knees to the body but Hendricks is up. They trade knees from the clinch. The ref seperates them. GSP with a high kick, blocked. GSP misses a huge overhand right, then shoots in, works hard but gets the takedown. Hendricks pops right back up. And it’s a clinch war again. GSP threatening with a Kimura, aint happening. I’m going with Hendricks man. 10-9

The decision is in, and it’s a split decision for GSP (48-47, 48-47, 47-48)

A little bit of bullshit there, in my opinion. But hey, Hendricks did awesome.

GSP just kind of retired, for a little bit, maybe. Weird retirement announcement. GSP says he has to go away for a little bit. Hopefully there will be some clarification on that soon.

Hendricks is pretty sure he won, says the belt is his, and with GSP kind of, maybe retiring for a little bit perhaps that’ll open up the title. Who knows. Weird. Anyway, that’s it for us. We’ll analyze this shit tomorrow.

Gambling Addiction Enabler: ‘UFC 167: St. Pierre vs. Hendricks’ Edition


(JUST TAKE MY MONEY ALREADY!! Image via Adam Doyle.)

By Dan “Get Off Me” George

With a win over Johny Hendricks this weekend, welterweight kingpin Georges St. Pierre will break *three* UFC records: Most UFC wins ever (!), Most title bout wins ever (!!) and dependent on how long the fight lasts, most octagon hours logged ever (meh). It’s an intriguing prospect to say the least, and a fight that headlines a card stacked to the brim with equally intriguing prospects and matchups.

But you don’t care about octagon records or intriguing prospects, you care about money. Cash. Doubloons. “A whole lotta Kale chips,” if you know what I’m saying. That’s where we come in, delivering the pound-for-pound best gambling advice week after week after tireless week. So join us after the jump to sneak a peek at the UFC 167 gambling lines (courtesy of BestFightOdds) and get in on more gambling advice than your broke ass will even know what to do with.

Stay the Hell Away From:

Josh Koscheck (-105) vs. Tyron Woodley (-115)

Koscheck is looking to avoid losing his third straight while Woodley will be trying to avoid going 1-3 in his last four bouts. The skill sets of both fighters here are very similar — strong wrestlers who often opt for a stand up affair — hence the almost even odds here. But in a game of tag where both fighters have found success (coupled with Fraggle’s penchant for his signature eye poke), picking a winner at the window is a true coin flip. Skip it.


(JUST TAKE MY MONEY ALREADY!! Image via Adam Doyle.)

By Dan “Get Off Me” George

With a win over Johny Hendricks this weekend, welterweight kingpin Georges St. Pierre will break *three* UFC records: Most UFC wins ever (!), Most title bout wins ever (!!) and dependent on how long the fight lasts, most octagon hours logged ever (meh). It’s an intriguing prospect to say the least, and a fight that headlines a card stacked to the brim with equally intriguing prospects and matchups.

But you don’t care about octagon records or intriguing prospects, you care about money. Cash. Doubloons. “A whole lotta Kale chips,” if you know what I’m saying. That’s where we come in, delivering the pound-for-pound best gambling advice week after week after tireless week. So join us after the jump to sneak a peek at the UFC 167 gambling lines (courtesy of BestFightOdds) and get in on more gambling advice than your broke ass will even know what to do with.

Stay the Hell Away From:

Josh Koscheck (-105) vs. Tyron Woodley (-115)

Koscheck is looking to avoid losing his third straight while Woodley will be trying to avoid going 1-3 in his last four bouts. The skill sets of both fighters here are very similar — strong wrestlers who often opt for a stand up affair — hence the almost even odds here. But in a game of tag where both fighters have found success (coupled with Fraggle’s penchant for his signature eye poke), picking a winner at the window is a true coin flip. Skip it.

The Good Dogs:

Brian Ebersole (+180) vs. Rick Story (-220)

Ebersole coming in at +180 is a great line and possibly overgenerous when taking into account that Brian’s last loss came on short notice. That he’s been battling injuries ever since is not the most confidence-inspiring aspect of this fight, but Ebersole is still worth taking a risk on with a full training camp under his belt. Story was a world beater at one point but has gone 2-4 over his past six fights. In a bout that has a high probability of going the distance, Ebersole may be able to employ a grappling centric approach to nullify Story and get a decision win.

Erik Perez (-355) vs. Edwin Figueroa (+295)

Perez is the heavy favorite at -330 and it may be safe to say Figueroa is fighting for a job. The prop bet that this fight goes to decision is +120 and worth the investment, as Figueroa has only been finished once in his career and has gone the distance in 3 of his 5 UFC appearances. Perez is coming off a loss in his toughest test thus far, a decision loss to Takeya Mizugaki at Fight Night 27, while Edwin has shown he can go the distance with one of the best the division has to offer in Michael McDonald. +120 fight goes the distance.

Donald Cerrone (-115) vs. Evan Dunham (-105)

Cerrone is the very slight favorite here, but with a -195 prop that the fight goes the distance, I suggest placing two equally small amount wagers on either fighter to win by decision as a decent risk-reward option. Like the last card, this fight jumps off the page with regards to FOTN and should pay out at about +500 should it obtain that honor, making it too hard to pass up. If it is half as exciting as Sanchez vs. Melendez, that should be good enough to get the nod from Dana.

Tim Elliott (-155) vs. Ali Bagautinov (+135)

I might be in the minority here, but +135 for Bagautinov to couple his sambo background with a Greg Jackson game plan seems all too good to pass up. Elliott is the more experienced fighter and will not be held down for three rounds, but may be worried about this prospect more so than his opponent. If Bagautinov can mix up his attack like Dodson did against Elliott, he may find a way to stifle Elliott’s offense en route to a decision win. Elliott will try to earn respect early with a well timed combination and the confidence he gains could turn this fight into another solid back and forth FOTN candidate as well. +120 Bagautinov wins.

Other Main Card Bouts:

Rory MacDonald (-350) vs. Robbie Lawler (+290)

Since returning to the UFC ‘s 170-pound division, Robbie has finished both of his fights in impressive fashion and seems to be primed for one last run towards a title shot. Standing in Lawler’s way is the heavy favorite and GSP protégé Rory MacDonald, who many believe is simply too strong for Lawler to handle. This fight may play out like Larkin vs. Lawler, where Larkin’s diverse striking and effective G-n-P eventually lead to a decision win for Lorenz. Larkin is a 185er and as time goes on McDonald may be as well, so look for McDonald to use his reach, be first, and keep Robbie guessing at a distance.

Rashad Evans (-190) vs. Chael Sonnen (+165)

Floating around -200, Rashad makes the parlay. While Evans has shown some inconsistencies in his game as of late, one thing he has always proved is that he will not be out grappled by his opponent. Chael definitely is a high-level wrestler, a true threat to take Rashad down, but as we saw against Jones, is also not immune to being controlled on the ground by a talented/bigger grappler either. Rashad can win this fight both standing and on the mat; Chael really is not known for his striking prowess and will have to be the first fighter to dominate Rashad on the ground if he is to win. Rashad makes the parlay with more ways to win and the assumption that he is a better wrestler than Chael.

Georges St. Pierre (-270) vs. Johny Hendricks (+230)

Johny Hendricks will be bringing the most devastating left hand the WW division has to offer against *the* best the WW division has to offer. Johny is also being touted as the best wrestler GSP has ever fought, a slight against Matt Hughes perhaps, but maybe true nonetheless. The problem is, what if Johnny is the best wrestler GSP has ever faced and he still gets taken down by Georges at will like Hughes, Koscheck and Fitch? What if GSP favors footwork and one of the most underrated jabs (Freddie Roach inspired) in MMA to create enough distance to keep the fight standing and outside of Hendricks striking range?

The one caveat is that GSP’s most recent loss stemmed from a well-placed punch, and there’s no arguing that Johny Hendricks can do more with one punch than most. GSP was also caught clock watching a little over halfway into his last fight with Diaz, but Johnny is not renowned for exploiting his opponent’s cardio like Nick is. GSP should be able to do what GSP does, find a way to get the fight where he wants it to be and keep it there for 25 minutes. GSP to win -270.

Parlay 1
Leites-Evans

Parlay 2
Leites-MacDonald-GSP

Parlay 3
Evans-Ebersole