For a while there, it seemed as if we were all but destined to see Ronda Rousey take on her arch-rival not named Cyborg for a third time following their respective wins over Bethe Correia and Jessica Eye, but today brings word of a fight many of us probably didn’t see coming.
During an appearance on Good Morning America earlier today, Rousey herself made the announcement that her next title defense won’t be against Miesha Tate, nor will it be against Cyborg, but against former pro boxer/kickboxer turned undefeated MMA fighter Holly Holm, at UFC 195. Or to put it another way: The lamb has passed through the gate. It has come to the killing floor. Its blind eyes see nothing of the horrors to come.
For a while there, it seemed as if we were all but destined to see Ronda Rousey take on her arch-rival not named Cyborg for a third time following their respective wins over Bethe Correia and Jessica Eye, but today brings word of a fight many of us probably didn’t see coming.
During an appearance on Good Morning America earlier today, Rousey herself made the announcement that her next title defense won’t be against Miesha Tate, nor will it be against Cyborg, but against former pro boxer/kickboxer turned undefeated MMA fighter Holly Holm, at UFC 195. Or to put it another way: The lamb has passed through the gate. It has come to the killing floor. Its blind eyes see nothing of the horrors to come.
Perhaps the reason most of us didn’t foresee Holm as the next logical title challenger/victim is due to the pair of performances she has put on thus far in the UFC, which can at best be described as “underwhelming.” Holm may have built up a reputation as “the best striker in women’s MMA” and will surely be lauded as “the best striker Rousey has ever faced” (see previously: Correia, B.), but she hasn’t exactly been annihilating her (somewhat unremarkable opposition) in the UFC like she was on the regional circuit.
In her promotional debut, Holm cruised to a unanimous decision over TUF 18 alum Raquel Pennington at UFC 184, and likewise wasn’t able to put away a Marion Reneau that was offering her absolutely nothing offensively at Fight Night 71. Now, she faces a champion with a 100% finishing rate. I’m probably in the minority here, but I see this thing lasting roughly a minute before the inevitable inevitably happens. But at least it’ll be a new face laying face down when all is said and done, right guys?
Then again, I suppose if Rousey decides to charge in wildly like she did against Correia, there’s a chance that Holm could make her pay for it. Time will tell, I guess (and that time will be 1:08 of round 1).
UFC 195 goes down on at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas, Nevada on January 2nd, 2016.
(There’s probably a fight happening somewhere in this picture, but I’ll be damned if I can see anything but Mike Beltran’s awesome beard. Look at how it flows with the wind, Nation, like a field of wheat or those giant rubber wipers at a carwash that you would always pretend were octopus tentacles when you were a kid. Remember being that age, your mind full of wonder and excitement? Now there is only cynicism. Cynicism and self-loathing……………………………
…………………………………………….I’ve completely forgotten what I was talking about.)
We know that declaring any UFC card in today’s era as “stacked” is all but the kiss of death, but you guys, UFC 194 is stacked. That it only has three fights booked so far is a testament to how stacked it is, and unfortunately also a testament to how doomed it is to lose at least one of those fights within the coming weeks.
But for now, the December 12th-scheduled card will feature a pair of title fights in Conor McGregor vs. Jose Aldo and Chris Weidman vs. Taylor Swift’s BFF. As if that wasn’t enough, the UFC announced earlier today that another key middleweight matchup will take place on the card as well: 4th-ranked Yoel Romero vs. 3rd-ranked Ronaldo “Jacare” Souza.
(There’s probably a fight happening somewhere in this picture, but I’ll be damned if I can see anything but Mike Beltran’s awesome beard. Look at how it flows with the wind, Nation, like a field of wheat or those giant rubber wipers at a carwash that you would always pretend were octopus tentacles when you were a kid. Remember being that age, your mind full of wonder and excitement? Now there is only cynicism. Cynicism and self-loathing……………………………
…………………………………………….I’ve completely forgotten what I was talking about.)
We know that declaring any UFC card in today’s era as “stacked” is all but the kiss of death, but you guys, UFC 194 is stacked. That it only has three fights booked so far is a testament to how stacked it is, and unfortunately also a testament to how doomed it is to lose at least one of those fights within the coming weeks.
But for now, the December 12th-scheduled card will feature a pair of title fights in Conor McGregor vs. Jose Aldo and Chris Weidman vs. Taylor Swift’s BFF. As if that wasn’t enough, the UFC announced earlier today that another key middleweight matchup will take place on the card as well: 4th-ranked Yoel Romero vs. 3rd-ranked Ronaldo “Jacare” Souza.
Romero and Souza were originally scheduled to fight at UFC 184 last February, but thanks to a particularly nasty bout of pneumonia, the latter had to withdraw from the event. The bout was then rescheduled for UFC on FOX 15 in April, but then it was Romero who went down with IBS a torn meniscus, forcing the UFC to once again sacrifice Chris Camozzi to the Alligator Gods. So we’re sure that everything will work out just fine this time around.
Still undefeated in his UFC career, Romero last competed at UFC Fight Night 70, KOing Lyoto Machida with some BRUTAL elbows from the top early in the third round. Souza is similarly undefeated thus far into his UFC career, having picked up five straight over the likes of Gegard Mousasi and Francis Carmont among others. The two share a common opponent in Derek Brunson (pictured above), whom Souza scored a quick KO over back in the Strikeforce days and Romero elbowed into oblivion back at Fight Night 35. Brunson, believe it or not, actually decided to stick with this whole fighting thing and has since gone on a three-fight win streak. Good for him.
I don’t know if it’s possible, but the hype surrounding Jose Aldo vs. Conor McGregor might be greater now than ever before. Not only do we have moments like the one above to remind us how much these two truly despise one another, but toss in the fact that McGregor will now be entering the fight sporting a belt of his own — one that he by earned by defeating Aldo’s greatest rival until now, no less — and you’ve got yourself a whole new wrinkle of this rivalry to exploit. The amount of smack McGregor is going to talk about Aldo pulling out of UFC 189 alone will make for must-see TV.
In any case, it was announced late last night that Aldo and McGregor are once again set to do battle in what will surely be the biggest featherweight title fight ever, and possibly the biggest fight in the history of the promotion. The Date: December 12th. The venue: The MGM Grand in Las Vegas (a.k.a “Definitely Not Cowboys Stadium”). Said Yahoo’s Kevin Iole…
I don’t know if it’s possible, but the hype surrounding Jose Aldo vs. Conor McGregor might be greater now than ever before. Not only do we have moments like the one above to remind us how much these two truly despise one another, but toss in the fact that McGregor will now be entering the fight sporting a belt of his own — one that he by earned by defeating Aldo’s greatest rival until now, no less — and you’ve got yourself a whole new wrinkle of this rivalry to exploit. The amount of smack McGregor is going to talk about Aldo pulling out of UFC 189 alone will make for must-see TV.
In any case, it was announced late last night that Aldo and McGregor are once again set to do battle in what will surely be the biggest featherweight title fight ever, and possibly the biggest fight in the history of the promotion. The Date: December 12th. The venue: The MGM Grand in Las Vegas (a.k.a “Definitely Not Cowboys Stadium”). Said Yahoo’s Kevin Iole…
Originally, Dec. 5 was targeted for that date because the MGM had an Andrea Bocelli concert and wanted to put the UFC show at the much smaller Mandalay Bay across the street.
But White told Yahoo Sports that he wanted a bigger venue than the approximately 11,000-seat Mandalay Bay Events Center. He was in talks with Cowboys’ officials about putting the fight at AT&T Stadium and said that on Thursday, ‘if you would have asked me, I would have told you for sure we were going to Dallas Cowboys Stadium.’
Fresh off their crowd-pleasing, uber-violent wins over Rory MacDonald and Thiago Alves, respectively, the UFC announced via UFC Tonight yesterday that welterweight champion Robbie Lawler will defend his title against Carlos Condit in the main event of UFC 193 on November 14th in Melbourne, Australia. Said an official UFC spokesman:
With the next welterweight champion set to be determined in November, you’re probably wondering, “Well, who will be the next NEXT challenger?! I need to know NOW!!!” First off, calm down and stop being so goddamn needy, and secondly, the UFC is already one step and a few billion dollars ahead of you…
Fresh off their crowd-pleasing, uber-violent wins over Rory MacDonald and Thiago Alves, respectively, the UFC announced via UFC Tonight yesterday that welterweight champion Robbie Lawler will defend his title against Carlos Condit in the main event of UFC 193 on November 14th in Melbourne, Australia. Said an official UFC spokesman:
With the next welterweight champion set to be determined in November, you’re probably wondering, “Well, who will be the next NEXT challenger?! I need to know NOW!!!” First off, calm down and stop being so goddamn needy, and secondly, the UFC is already one step and a few billion dollars ahead of you…
After losing his title via a somewhat controversial split decision to Lawler in their rematch at UFC 181, Hendricks bounced back with a big win over the always dangerous, always gritty Matt Brown at UFC 185. Woodley, meanwhile, has not fought since nabbing a split decision win over TUF 17 winner Kelvin Gastelum in a catchweight bout at UFC 183.
UFC 192 goes down on October 3rd from the Toyota Center in Houston Texas and is headlined by a light heavyweight title fight between Daniel Cormier and Alexander Gustafsson.
And finally in fight booking news, it appears that Diego Sanchez will be dropping down to featherweight for his next contest, where he will be given no easy test against former title challenger Ricardo Lamas at Fight Night 79. Sanchez, who has changed weight classes to save his career about half a dozen times by now, has not fought since stealing an absolutely unforgivable split decision win away from Ross Pearson back in June of 2014 using his patented “Swing Wildly, Land Nothing, But Keep Pressing Forward” attack (more commonly known as “Come at me, bro”-fu).
Lamas last fought in the main event of Fight Night 63, where he was TKO’d by Chad Mendes in the first round, snapping a two-fight win streak he had built since his title loss to Jose Aldo and proving once and for all that Full Training Camp Mendes > Motivated BJ Penn > Chuck Liddell With That Look in His Eyes. I don’t make up the rules, Nation. I just think them up and write them down.
Featuring a main event matchup between Matt Brown and Kelvin Gastelum, Fight Night 79 takes place on November 21st at the Monterrey Arena in Monterrey, Nuevo Leon, Mexico.
If the circulating reports have any truth to them, it looks like Ronda Rousey will make her next title defense against Bethe Correia in the main event of UFC 190 on August 1st. According to my local gambling expert, Vegas oddsmakers should list Rousey as something around a kajillion-to-one favorite over her Brazilian opponent out of the gate, a betting line which will only continue to swing in Rousey’s favor as fight night approaches.
This is not what you’d call a gambler’s paradise, folks, so much so that I asked the top statistician I know to punch up some numbers and find me a handful things more likely to occur than a Bethe Correia win at UFC 190. Here’s what he came up with…
(Props: Fox Sports)
By CP Reader Ramsey O’Shea
If the circulating reports have any truth to them, it looks like Ronda Rousey will make her next title defense against Bethe Correia in the main event of UFC 190 on August 1st. According to my local gambling expert, Vegas oddsmakers should list Rousey as something around a kajillion-to-one favorite over her Brazilian opponent out of the gate, a betting line which will only continue to swing in Rousey’s favor as fight night approaches.
This is not what you’d call a gambler’s paradise, folks, so much so that I asked the top statistician I know to punch up some numbers and find me a handful things more likely to occur than a Bethe Correia win at UFC 190. Here’s what he came up with…
Crazier things have happened, right? Anthony Pettis was being listed as high as a 5-to-1 favorite over Rafael Dos Anjos until homeboy From Angels laid a royal ass-whipping on him last weekend. And like Pettis, Weidman has also spent more time sidelined with injury than defending his title since he won it back in 2013.
Vitor Belfort, on the other hand, is a (Jesus) juiced-up ball o’ crazy who once sent Dan Henderson into orbit with an uppercut, so if he’s able to land on Weidman early, it wouldn’t be impossible to think that he could put the champ away. While Correia possesses some solid power of her own, Rousey is arguably just as dangerous on the feet nowadays (and most certainly quicker), which all but negates Correia’s only chance at victory.
The Entirety of Rousey vs. Correia Being Viewable in a Vine — 5 to 1
Now this is one I’m strongly considering. Cat Zingano was the #1 ranked bantamweight heading into her fight with Rousey (and not in a “Dennis Siver is suddenly top 10″ kind of way, either), and she last 14 seconds. Bethe Correia is currently ranked #7 (which, I guess?), which means she should last approximately….mathmathmath….two seconds. Hell, they’ll even be able to fit Joe Rogan’s verbal humiliation of Correia after the fight is over into that Vine as well.
Being Diagnosed with Prostate Cancer: 6 to 1
Here are the facts:
1. There were around 220,000 cases of prostate cancer diagnosed in the US alone last year.
2. Prostate cancer is second only to lung cancer in terms of commonality.
3. More than a third of prostate cancer cases are diagnosed in men aged over 75 years.
Here are some more facts:
1. Ronda Rousey has only been listed as anything *less* than a 6-1 favorite once in her UFC career (against Sara McMann at UFC 170).
2. It was almost unanimously agreed upon that Correia dropped the first round of her fight against Baszler.
3. Shayna Baszler fights like a 75 year old man.
The connections are all there if you’re willing to look for them, is all I’m saying.
Being Picked on The Price is Right – 36 to 1
Bethe may not stand a snowball’s chance in Hell against Rousey, but seeing her perform her patented victory dance next to a bewildered/emasculated Drew Carey? I’d bet a dollar on that coming to fruition.
What I wouldn’t bet a dollar on, on the other hand, would be the fight I mentioned earlier.
Fast and Furious 7 Topping Furious 6 – 12,800 to 1
The point is, no matter how fast and/or furious Fast and Furious 7 is, it can in no way be more fast and furious than Fast and Furious 6 was. The bar has simply been set too high furious. That being said, the mere inclusion of Rousey’s name in the cast list makes Fast 7 a more solid bet than anything which doesn’t include Rousey’s name (the phrase “Bethe Correia: Bantamweight Champion” for instance).
Dying From Contact with Hot Tap Water: 5,005,564 to 1
First off, I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking that this joke has gone on for far too long.
“I was willing to play along with your increasingly hyperbolic attempts at explaining how screwed Bethe Correia is,” you said to yourself, “But hot tap water, CP? Really?! THIS IS WHY YOU NEED CROWDFUNDING TO SURVIVE.”
And you’re right, you really should consider donating to CP’s Patreon, but also, I argue that the idea of Ronda Rousey vs. Hot Tap Water is no more ludicrous than the idea of Rousey vs. A Man, or Rousey vs. Laila Ali for that matter. All three matchups have literally the exact same chance of being booked, so there. #PointGryffindor
Secondly, do not — I repeat, DO NOT — overlook how dangerous a glass of tap water can be. We all saw the effect it had on those aliens in the 2002 documentary Signs, and now you’re adding HEAT into the equation? Goodnight, Irene. Which isn’t even to mention the fact that tap water is not physically capable of possessing arms, which gives it a huge advantage in this completely fictional matchup against the current champ.
Am I saying that hot tap water would have a better chance against Ronda Rousey than Bethe Correia? Not at all. I’m saying that I’d sooner bet on old Irene up there croaking after burning her tongue than I would on Bethe beating Ronda. Not that I feel the need to defend these numbers, mind you, as I can assure you that they were given to me by a top numbers man.
In conclusion, Ronda Rousey will win. Bethe Correia will not. Eat more tomatoes.
(There’ll be plenty more of this after the jump. Trust me.)
It’s February 18th, 2016 (or something like that), which can only mean one thing: There dun been a whole lotta MMA fights booked today! And rather than give you some paint-by-numbers fight booking breakdown (looking at you, Goldsteen), I’ve decided to do pretty much that, but with gifs. So without further askew, let’s get to it!
#6: Matt Hamill vs. TBA — WSOF 4-Man Light Heavyweight Tournament
Although he won’t be getting that rematch with Rampage Jackson in Bellator he was hoping for, Hamill has in fact signed an exclusive contract with World Series of Fighting, and is expected to make his debut as part of a 4-man tournament for the promotion’s light heavyweight belt. There’s no word on who he’ll be facing yet (our guess is another UFC veteran, which is all this tournament is made up of), but we feel confident not giving two shits about this fight regardless. Ranking:
(There’ll be plenty more of this after the jump. Trust me.)
It’s February 18th, 2016 (or something like that), which can only mean one thing: There dun been a whole lotta MMA fights booked today! And rather than give you some paint-by-numbers fight booking breakdown (looking at you, Goldsteen), I’ve decided to do pretty much that, but with gifs. So without further askew, let’s get to it!
#6: Matt Hamill vs. TBA — WSOF 4-Man Light Heavyweight Tournament
Although he won’t be getting that rematch with Rampage Jackson in Bellator he was hoping for, Hamill has in fact signed an exclusive contract with World Series of Fighting, and is expected to make his debut as part of a 4-man tournament for the promotion’s light heavyweight belt. There’s no word on who he’ll be facing yet (our guess is another UFC veteran, which is all this tournament is made up of), but we feel confident not giving two shits about this fight regardless. Ranking:
Remember that time I mentioned how the WSOF light heavyweight tournament is entirely made up of former UFC fighters? Well, enter Thiago Silva, who was just signed by the WSOF to a multi-fight contract despite being a reprehensible piece of human garbage.
(*exhale*) In any case, Silva has been booked in the WSOF’s 4-man lightweight tourney opposite former UFC middleweight Ronny Markes in the semifinal round.
You see what’s happening here, right? WSOF is unabashedly setting up Thiago fucking Silva to be the face of their light heavyweight division. My reaction to this can only be summed up in the immortal words of David Caruso. Ranking:
‘Page is back, baby! Lovers of MMA circa 2005, rejoice!!
I kid (sort of), but according to MMAFighting, Jackson’s return to the Octagon is being eyed for UFC 186 in April, with his opponent potentially being Fabio Maldonado. The Brazilian former pro boxer is fresh off a second round TKO of Hans Stringer at UFC 179, and has won 4 of his last 5 overall. Say what you want about Rampage (or Maldonado) being past his prime…
I suppose I should have finished that thought with a counterpoint, but what I’m getting at is Rampage vs. Maldonado has slugfest written all over it. In blood. Ranking:
Jim Miller is a gamer through and through, and Paul Felder kicked off 2015 with a KO of the Year-worthy spinning backfist over Danny Castillo at UFC 182. This fight will win all of the performance bonuses. Ranking:
Although it hasn’t been officially confirmed yet, UFC Tonight is reporting that the UFC is looking to book Dillashaw vs. Barao II for the April 25th card in Montreal now that Dominick Cruz has once again gone down with an ACL injury.
This rematch makes a hell of a lot more sense now than it did when Barao and Dillashaw were originally scheduled to lock horns again at UFC 177, which as we all know, ended with Barao withdrawing from the fight on 24 hours notice following a botched weight cut. While Dillashaw went on to starch Joe Soto that night, Barao would bounce back with a third round submission win over top contender Mitch Gagnon at Fight Night 58. The scales are finally starting to even in the battle of Team Alpha Male vs. All of Brazil, so we’ll go ahead and slap this one with a Ranking of:
