The lack of fucks we give about whatever UFC ring girl Brittney Palmer has had done to her mouth/face region can simply not be overstated (understated?). Criticizing her “duck lip” or “Joan Rivers face” — as the surely Derek Zoolander-looking members of MMA forums near and far have described it — is akin to chastising a star for shining too brightly, an Arby’s sandwich for being paired with too much Au Jus. Did Palmer necessarily require (in our eyes, at least) whatever treatment she underwent? No, but we’d still yadda yadda dicks through broken glass yadda yadda hear her fart through a walkie-talkie.
We have no idea what magazine/calendar/website Ms. Palmer was recently photographed in her undies for, but again, we give less fucks about that information than Rick Grimes in the third season of The Walking Dead. So enjoy this video. Enjoy it, then start preparing that mile of broken glass to commence said dick dragging.
The lack of fucks we give about whatever UFC ring girl Brittney Palmer has had done to her mouth/face region can simply not be overstated (understated?). Criticizing her “duck lip” or “Joan Rivers face” — as the surely Derek Zoolander-looking members of MMA forums near and far have described it — is akin to chastising a star for shining too brightly, an Arby’s sandwich for being paired with too much Au Jus. Did Palmer necessarily require (in our eyes, at least) whatever treatment she underwent? No, but we’d still yadda yadda dicks through broken glass yadda yadda hear her fart through a walkie-talkie.
We have no idea what magazine/calendar/website Ms. Palmer was recently photographed in her undies for, but again, we give less fucks about that information than Rick Grimes in the third season of The Walking Dead. So enjoy this video. Enjoy it, then start preparing that mile of broken glass to commence said dick dragging.
Bad news, Potato Nation. According to our research, it has been at least 4 days since we’ve posted anything remotely spank-worthy on our site (unless Miesha Tate in jortsreally does it for you). As such, our evil, robotic overlords forgiving, kind-hearted supervisors have informed us that if we want to continue enjoying Stir-Friday and Jameson-sponsored-skydiving-Tuesdays here at CP, we best get with the titties. Apparently the occasional Darrill Schoonover post just doesn’t cut it anymore.
So that brings us to the above behind-the-scenes video of Arianny Celeste’s 2014 calendar shoot. We’re not sure if anyone honestly purchases calendars anymore, but what the hell? It’ll provide a few of you with a temporary escape from your jobs that certainly suck more than ours and the rest of you with a chance to act like you totally wouldn’t hit that, so enjoy.
Five bucks out of my wallet goes to the commenter who can make the best “Who would want to be behind Arianny’s scenes?” joke or alternate version thereof.
Bad news, Potato Nation. According to our research, it has been at least 4 days since we’ve posted anything remotely spank-worthy on our site (unless Miesha Tate in jortsreally does it for you). As such, our evil, robotic overlords forgiving, kind-hearted supervisors have informed us that if we want to continue enjoying Stir-Friday and Jameson-sponsored-skydiving-Tuesdays here at CP, we best get with the titties. Apparently the occasional Darrill Schoonover post just doesn’t cut it anymore.
So that brings us to the above behind-the-scenes video of Arianny Celeste’s 2014 calendar shoot. We’re not sure if anyone honestly purchases calendars anymore, but what the hell? It’ll provide a few of you with a temporary escape from your jobs that certainly suck more than ours and the rest of you with a chance to act like you totally wouldn’t hit that, so enjoy.
Five bucks out of my wallet goes to the commenter who can make the best “Who would want to be behind Arianny’s scenes?” joke or alternate version thereof.
Long before we knew the names Arianny and Brittney, or Chrissy and Vanessa, the UFC’s round-card holders were a revolving door of anonymous female talent, often clad in denim ass-shorts and bedazzled halter-tops. And dammit, we liked it that way.
This must-see highlight reel takes us through 20 years of UFC ring girl history, from the delightful trashiness of the ’90s to the uniformed polish of today. The only gripe I have is the conspicuous absence of Ali Sonoma. WTF, guys. You can’t whitewash history.
Long before we knew the names Arianny and Brittney, or Chrissy and Vanessa, the UFC’s round-card holders were a revolving door of anonymous female talent, often clad in denim ass-shorts and bedazzled halter-tops. And dammit, we liked it that way.
This must-see highlight reel takes us through 20 years of UFC ring girl history, from the delightful trashiness of the ’90s to the uniformed polish of today. The only gripe I have is the conspicuous absence of Ali Sonoma. WTF, guys. You can’t whitewash history.
(Don’t worry, Fido, we’re pissed we can’t hump her leg either.)
Thanks to the athletic supplement brand Gamma Labs, my penis has officially never been more confused in its life. It’s like a nervous groundhog down there, unsure of whether or not we’ll have six more weeks of winter. And all in the name of Christmas.
Picture this scenario: Brittney Palmer is in your living room, counting down the 12 days of Christmas in red lingerie, preferably while you wait for her evil but equally hot doppelganger to arrive and help you pick out stocking stuffers together (BA-DUM-TSH!). Sounds awesome, right? Now picture that, as you’re about to lay this gorgeous piece of work down by the fireplace, she suddenly morphs into PETE FREAKING SELL, complete with two black eyes and a shitload of tinsel (and probably a cold cut combo somewhere in there). Then Shane Carwin shows up. Then Chuck Liddell. Then Joe Stevenson and an army of caroling children. And so on. And so forth. It is a hellish nightmare that I wouldn’t wish upon the dingus of my worst enemy, yet Gamma Labs has spawned forth this erectoral purgatory on us all seemingly as some sort of cruel holiday joke.
Video after the jump.
(Don’t worry, Fido, we’re pissed we can’t hump her leg either.)
Thanks to the athletic supplement brand Gamma Labs, my penis has officially never been more confused in its life. It’s like a nervous groundhog down there, unsure of whether or not we’ll have six more weeks of winter. And all in the name of Christmas.
Picture this scenario: Brittney Palmer is in your living room, counting down the 12 days of Christmas in red lingerie, preferably while you wait for her evil but equally hot doppelganger to arrive and help you pick out stocking stuffers together (BA-DUM-TSH!). Sounds awesome, right? Now picture that, as you’re about to lay this gorgeous piece of work down by the fireplace, she suddenly morphs into PETE FREAKING SELL, complete with two black eyes and a shitload of tinsel (and probably a cold cut combo somewhere in there). Then Shane Carwin shows up. Then Chuck Liddell. Then Joe Stevenson and an army of caroling children. And so on. And so forth. It is a hellish nightmare that I wouldn’t wish upon the dingus of my worst enemy, yet Gamma Labs has spawned forth this erectoral purgatory on us all seemingly as some sort of cruel holiday joke.
And now, TO THE AWARDS!
Best Singing Voice:Tom Lawler. Dude’s got a croon that would shame Bing Crosby into cutting out his own vocal chords with a spork.
Most Enthusiasm: Easily Urijah Faber, although we hear he tweeted an x-ray photo of the dislocated shoulder he suffered immediately after the shoot was over.
Best Non-Brittney Moment: Johny Hendricks floating face down in a hot tub, likely screaming about why GSP is such a pussy and how he wishes Nick Diaz was never born.
Saddest Moment: Seeing that Joe Stevenson, a former UFC title challenger, is now training at the same dojo where Cosmo Kramer once dominated the white belt karate circuit. Even worse, “Big Daddy” is still getting choked out in practice.
I don’t care if Halloween was yesterday, when I came across this video of Arianny Celeste posing in a graveyard in her skivvies roughly five minutes ago, I felt inclined to immediately share it with you. Because that’s the kind of friend I am, Potato Nation. I don’t know what magazine or calendar or necrophilia fetish website this shoot by Sam Honfoto was for, nor do I care to find out. It’s Arianny Celeste standing around in her underwear and getting attacked by zombies. That’s all I care about, and the same should go for all of you.
It’s funny (or perhaps sad), I’ve seen so many photos and videos of Ms. Celeste since joining the CagePotato staff — because I never once checked her out before then *looks nervously around room* — that I have begun to pick up on the go-to poses she has perfected over the years. There’s the panty pull (seen at :57), the classic hand bra, the double hand hair grab, and the very rarely seen behind the back ass shot. That last one is like seeing a unicorn at the exact moment that Halley’s Comet passes by.
And if you thought that video was awesome (or even if you didn’t) you will probably enjoy this much more…thorough (?) behind-the-scenes video of Brittney Palmer’s latest shoot for FHM magazine after the jump. Spoiler alert: It contains more side boob, under boob, and extended shots of dat ass then you’ll probably be able to handle at work today. Adjust your screens accordingly.
I don’t care if Halloween was yesterday, when I came across this video of Arianny Celeste posing in a graveyard in her skivvies roughly five minutes ago, I felt inclined to immediately share it with you. Because that’s the kind of friend I am, Potato Nation. I don’t know what magazine or calendar or necrophilia fetish website this shoot by Sam Honfoto was for, nor do I care to find out. It’s Arianny Celeste standing around in her underwear and getting attacked by zombies. That’s all I care about, and the same should go for all of you.
It’s funny (or perhaps sad), I’ve seen so many photos and videos of Ms. Celeste since joining the CagePotato staff — because I never once checked her out before then *looks nervously around room* – that I have begun to pick up on the go-to poses she has perfected over the years. There’s the panty pull (seen at :57), the classic hand bra, the double hand hair grab, and the very rarely seen behind the back ass shot. That last one is like seeing a unicorn at the exact moment that Halley’s Comet passes by.
And if you thought that video was awesome (or even if you didn’t) you will probably enjoy this much more…thorough (?) behind-the-scenes video of Brittney Palmer’s latest shoot for FHM magazine after the jump. Spoiler alert: It contains more side boob, under boob, and extended shots of dat ass then you’ll probably be able to handle at work today. Adjust your screens accordingly.
Gentlemen, it appears that I have suddenly taken a turn for the worse and must retire to my “meditation” room for the rest of the evening to stabilize my chi. Good day to yous.
Judging from this video, the consensus Hottest Woman in MMA has some amazing new photos in store for us, and though it’s kind of optimistic for anybody to be shooting a 2013 calendar, we respect Brittney Palmer for giving it a shot. You’ll be able to purchase the calendar on BrittneyPalmer.com, where she’s currently selling prints of her paintings of Johnny Cash, Jimi Hendrix, and…Dana White? Good times.
Get psyched for Brittney Palmer’s new calendar by checking out a few of the 2012 edition’s highlights after the jump.
Judging from this video, the consensus Hottest Woman in MMA has some amazing new photos in store for us, and though it’s kind of optimistic for anybody to be shooting a 2013 calendar, we respect Brittney Palmer for giving it a shot. You’ll be able to purchase the calendar on BrittneyPalmer.com, where she’s currently selling prints of her paintings of Johnny Cash, Jimi Hendrix, and…Dana White? Good times.
Get psyched for Brittney Palmer’s new calendar by checking out a few of the 2012 edition’s highlights after the jump.
