Chaelgate Update #1: Probation, Snitchin’, and Sexyama

("…so if you’re looking for a realtor who’s courteous, motivated, and accepts his commissions in Human Growth Hormone, you know who to call." Gif amazingness via MMAScraps)
A few new details to add to last night’s Chael Sonnen money laund…

Chael Sonnen MMA funny gif busted real estate money laundering
("…so if you’re looking for a realtor who’s courteous, motivated, and accepts his commissions in Human Growth Hormone, you know who to call." Gif amazingness via MMAScraps)

A few new details to add to last night’s Chael Sonnen money laundering bombshell:

— I know, we were all drooling with schadenfreude when we heard that money laundering carries a max sentence of 20 years and a half-milly fine. But don’t start planning Chael’s going-away party just yet, folks. According to the Oregonian, the government will recommend that Sonnen be sentenced to just two years of probation at his sentencing in March; as part of his plea deal, Sonnen also agreed to forfeit his realtor’s license and pay a $10,000 fine. And why is Chael getting off so easily? The loud-mouthed UFC contender is expected to cooperate as a witness against others involved in the mortgage fraud investigation. In other words, he’s a rat in addition to being a lying scam-artist with malfunctioning testicles.

— Just as the money laundering story broke, MMA Junkie reported that Sonnen had been scheduled to face Yoshihiro Akiyama at UFC 128 (March 19, Newark), just 17 days after his CSAC suspension ends. We’d consider that booking "tentative" considering the legal heat that’s now dogging Sonnen. Sexyama’s Octagon record dropped to 1-2 following his decision loss to Michael Bisping at UFC 120, though all three of his UFC bouts have earned "Fight of the Night" honors.

After the jump, more on the specific charge that Sonnen pled guilty to…

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And Now He’s Fired: Phil Baroni

(The record shows he took the blows / and did it hiiiiiiiis waaaaaaaay. Photo courtesy of UFC.com)
After suffering a first-round knockout at the hands of Brad Tavares at UFC 125 — his second-consecutive loss since returning to the UFC in N…

Phil Baroni UFC 125 walkout MMA photos Mark Coleman
(The record shows he took the blows / and did it hiiiiiiiis waaaaaaaay. Photo courtesy of UFC.com)

After suffering a first-round knockout at the hands of Brad Tavares at UFC 125 — his second-consecutive loss since returning to the UFC in November 2009, and his third-straight loss overall — it appears that Phil Baroni‘s latest stint in the UFC has officially ended. Versus’s MMA Beat passed along confirmation of his release last night. The firing was no surprise to Baroni, who intends to stay very active in 2011 and work his way back to the big leagues.

The 34-year-old currently holds an MMA record of 13-13, with a 3-7 lifetime record in the UFC. Baroni hasn’t tasted victory in the Octagon since declaring himself "the man" after storming Dave Menne at UFC 39 in September 2002. Tough break for the NYBA, but maybe we’ll finally get to see that rubber match with Minowaman.

Semi-related: Matt Brown, who has lost his last three fights in the UFC, all by second-round submission, is reportedly getting another shot against British welterweight Mark Scanlon (7-1, 0-1 UFC) at UFC on Versus 3 in March. Go figure.

UFC 125 Salaries: Edgar, Guida, Maynard, Silva Top Six Figures

(Sit back there and say Clay Guida’s hair ain’t luxurious, when you know it is, bitch. / Photo courtesy of MMAFighting)
The Nevada State Athletic Commission has released the payout list for UFC 125, with the total fighter payroll topping out at $1,11…

Clay Guida Takanori Gomi UFC 125 MMA photos
(Sit back there and say Clay Guida’s hair ain’t luxurious, when you know it is, bitch. / Photo courtesy of MMAFighting)

The Nevada State Athletic Commission has released the payout list for UFC 125, with the total fighter payroll topping out at $1,112,000 in disclosed salaries and bonuses. MMA Junkie reports that despite the main event ending in a draw, both Frankie Edgar and Gray Maynard were given their win bonus money — which insured that they were two of the night’s top earners, since they also picked up the event’s Fight of the Night bonuses.

Other six-figure earners included Clay Guida ($122,000) and Thiago Silva ($110,000). The complete UFC 125 salary list is below, and continues after the jump. Keep in mind that the figures do not include additional income from sponsorships or undisclosed "locker room bonuses," or deductions for taxes, insurance, and licensing fees.

Frankie Edgar: $162,000 (includes $51,000 win bonus, $60,000 Fight of the Night bonus)
vs. Gray Maynard: $112,000 (includes $26,000 win bonus, $60,000 Fight of the Night bonus)

Brian Stann: $42,000 (includes $21,000 win bonus)
def. Chris Leben: $46,000

Thiago Silva: $110,000 (includes $55,000 win bonus)
def. Brandon Vera: $60,000

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Classic Clip: Phil Baroni Was Never Really Great at Losing

(Props: ix3623vault)
At this point, emotional post-fight breakdowns are the norm for Phil Baroni. (Remember this old classic?) Since each loss seems like it could represent the end of the road for the veteran slugger, we understand …

(Props: ix3623vault)

At this point, emotional post-fight breakdowns are the norm for Phil Baroni. (Remember this old classic?) Since each loss seems like it could represent the end of the road for the veteran slugger, we understand why he takes them so hard. But as the above clip demonstrates, Baroni has always had a difficult time coping with losses, even the ones that came before he really had a professional career.

Prior to making his MMA debut in 2000, Phil Baroni was a standout on the Toughman amateur boxing circuit. Though he won most of his fights, he lost a decision to a dude named Sam Rodriguez (date of fight unknown), and reacted by storming out of the ring and beating up every inanimate object in sight, including a defenseless fire hose door. His longtime training partner Mark Coleman would later pay tribute to the incident in the acclaimed short film "FUUUUUUUUCK!"

And now that we have this bit of footage, we’re only missing one thing: A clip of Baroni throwing a tantrum after a loss at one of his old bodybuilding competitions. Make it happen, Internet.

Mark Hunt to Get One More Shot in the UFC Against Chris Tuchscherer in Australia

(Ah, yes. The glory days. Photo via fighters.com)
Currently riding a six-fight losing streak with all losses coming in the first round, PRIDE/K-1 vet Mark Hunt last competed at UFC 119 in September, where he fell victim to a Sean McCorkle armlock in …

Mark Hunt atomic butt drop PRIDE
(Ah, yes. The glory days. Photo via fighters.com)

Currently riding a six-fight losing streak with all losses coming in the first round, PRIDE/K-1 vet Mark Hunt last competed at UFC 119 in September, where he fell victim to a Sean McCorkle armlock in just 63 seconds. Hunt’s UFC debut was part of a contractual obligation carried over from his days in PRIDE, and we figured we’d seen the last of him in the Octagon when he lost in such garbage-ass fashion. And yet, the UFC has added the Kiwi kickboxer to the lineup of UFC 127 (February 27th; Sydney, Australia). Oceania represent?

Hunt will be taking on Team Deathclutch member Chris Tuchscherer, who’s also skating on thin ice, contract-wise. Tushcherer has gone 1-2 during his stint in the UFC, winning a razor-thin majority decision over Tim Hague between first-round knockout losses to Gabriel Gonzaga and Brendan Schaub. As Gonzaga himself might say, loser, you are a fired. In other heavyweight news…

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Thiago Silva Joins the MMA Bitch-Slap Hall of Fame; Jon Jones Dumps Haterade [UPDATED]

("Look, Brandon, I’m sorry. If you take your hand away, I promise I won’t slap you in the face again." / Photo courtesy of MMAFighting)
UPDATE: A clip of Silva playing Vera like a bongo has been added to the end of this post…check it out …

Brandon Vera Thiago Silva UFC 125 slap spank MMA photos
("Look, Brandon, I’m sorry. If you take your hand away, I promise I won’t slap you in the face again." / Photo courtesy of MMAFighting)

UPDATE: A clip of Silva playing Vera like a bongo has been added to the end of this post…check it out while it lasts.

The third round of Thiago Silva vs. Brandon Vera at UFC 125 represented one of the most humiliating beat-downs in recent MMA history, as Silva seemingly got tired of punching Vera about midway through the round and just started slapping him in the face until the fight was over. With Vera’s job likely on the line that night, it was the worst possible final impression to leave with his bosses — as if that mangled schnozz wasn’t enough.

After the fight, top light-heavyweight contender Jon Jones fired up Twitter and posted the following: "Wow that slapping was so disrespectful.. id love to give him a slap in the face…Dominating someone in a fight is 1 thing, looking to simply humiliate them is another..Traditional martial artist always seemed to show honor and respect.. Anyways what’s done is done, I’m headed to the gym to make sure nothing like that ever happens to me."

We say: Eff the haters, Thiago. You’ve just joined a very select group of MMA fighters who have demonstrated their dominance through slapping and spanking. The other members of the MMA Bitch-Slap Hall of Fame are after the jump…

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