As Soon As UFC Actually Gets Around to Signing Shields, Kampmann Could Be First Opponent, Report says

(Jake initially felt some trepidations about it, but Dana assured him that everyone who signs a UFC contract takes pictures like this. PicProps: Sherdog, obviously.)
It must add a certain amount of insult to injury for Strikeforce that the UFC is takin…


(Jake initially felt some trepidations about it, but Dana assured him that everyone who signs a UFC contract takes pictures like this. PicProps: Sherdog, obviously.)

It must add a certain amount of insult to injury for Strikeforce that the UFC is taking its sweet time signing Jake Shields. It’s almost like Dana White wants to remind Scott Coker (and everybody else) that the MMA world starts and stops at his convenience, not theirs. Yeah, just as soon as he rolls out of bed around 11 o’clock this morning, hits the gym, lunches at Delmonico’s, spends the requisite few minutes berating Marty Cordova and swings by Pinkberry for his snack, he might – if nothing else comes up – get around to locking down the excommunicated Strikeforce champ. Why be so leisurely about it? Because he can, motherfucker. Where else is Shields really going to go?

Despite reports this week from Shields’ own team that he’d finally slapped his John Hancock on one of the UFC’s notoriously draconian legal agreements, the company itself continues to deny it has formally come to terms with the Cesar Gracie Jiu Jitsu product. According to an MMA Fighting.com story published late Friday night however, Shields’ signing actually is looming and once it goes down, he could be looking at facing Martin Kampmann at welterweight in his promotional debut.

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Paul Daley Either Is or Isn’t Signing with Bellator

(“Of course I wore me sunglasses to the press conference. I didn’t want to look like an idiot in front of all these people, now did I?”)
As part of an on-going effort to be all things to all people, the omnipresent BJPenn.com publishe…


(“Of course I wore me sunglasses to the press conference. I didn’t want to look like an idiot in front of all these people, now did I?”)

As part of an on-going effort to be all things to all people, the omnipresent BJPenn.com published a report this week citing “undisclosed sources” saying British firebrand/sucker-puncher Paul Daley had inked a deal with Bellator Fighting Championships. In response to this report, please allow CagePotato.com to extend its sweaty, frail hand in friendship to BJPenn.com and say: Welcome to the wild world of journalism, pal, where the pay is terrible, the food is worse, nearly everybody hates your guts and the entire world sits poised over its keyboards, waiting for the slightest provocation to tell you you’re totally full of shit, even when you’re not.

Case in point: Bellator says it hasn’t signed Daley. At least not yet. Contract negotiations are apparently top secret over at the BFC – almost as secret as where to actually find the company’s programming on your TV dial – so an unnamed source (assumedly different from Penn’s “undisclosed” one) was only willing to issue the briefest of contradictory statements to MMAFighting.com on Saturday.

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Kim Couture Loses to Woman with Zero Previous Pro MMA Fights

(VidProps: Youtube/superboxmma)
It appears that whatever remained of Kim Couture’s sad little MMA career unraveled this weekend at an XFC show in Tampa, Florida. If you didn’t already know that Couture is nothing more than a marginally ta…

(VidProps: Youtube/superboxmma)

It appears that whatever remained of Kim Couture’s sad little MMA career unraveled this weekend at an XFC show in Tampa, Florida. If you didn’t already know that Couture is nothing more than a marginally talented former casino worker (with arguably the worst website in the sport) who is just trying to trade off the famous last name of her former husband, well, now you do.

Couture stepped in the cage on Friday night with Marianna “The Crushen Russian” Kheyfets – a 25-year-old without a Wikipedia page who was making her pro MMA debut – and for a while it looked like things were going to go “Sugar Free’s” way. Couture got the better of the stand-up exchanges landing, as the HDNet broadcast team pointed out, some pretty decent right hands. But a little more than two minutes in, Kheyfets nailed her with an overhand right of her own that sent Couture sprawling to the mat. In the scramble that followed, Kheyfets expertly locked up – what  else? – a triangle choke and secured the tapout.

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Couldn’t Happen to a Nicer Guy Alert: War Machine Choked Out in Final Fight Before Jail Stint

(Life ain’t always easy for a “true Alpha male.” The world is so chock-full of motherfuckers just begging you to punch them in the face that sometimes it’s hard to keep a clear head. Pic Props: Sherdog)
If you followed War Machi…


(Life ain’t always easy for a “true Alpha male.” The world is so chock-full of motherfuckers just begging you to punch them in the face that sometimes it’s hard to keep a clear head. Pic Props: Sherdog)

If you followed War Machine’s various Twitter ramblings during the last couple of weeks, you had to fear the worst for Our Hero in his fight with John Alessio at Tachi Palace Fights 5 on Friday. There was way too much tweeting about boozing, pill popping and hopes for impending civil war going on for War to be truly focused on training. Not to mention that next week he’s due to report for a one year stay in the San Diego County sneezer for violating his probation in a self-described “lame bar fight.”

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Barnett Beats That One Guy in Australia; Parisyan, Sokoudjou, Monson Also Win

("I’m sorry, what was your name again?" PicProps: Sherdog)
Thank God that Josh Barnett only did a couple of the things he threatened to do to Geronimo dos Santos at Impact FC in Brisbane last night.  Despite his threats to the contrary, …


("I’m sorry, what was your name again?" PicProps: Sherdog)

Thank God that Josh Barnett only did a couple of the things he threatened to do to Geronimo dos Santos at Impact FC in Brisbane last night.  Despite his threats to the contrary, reports from Sherdog’s Jordan Breen – who was cageside for the event — indicate that Barnett’s short-and-sweet win over dos Santos in the main event of the upstart Australian promotion went strictly according to the unified rules. And no, that is not a euphemism.

The former UFC heavyweight champion took his enormo Brazilian opponent down and achieved full mount twice during the 2 minute, 45 second contest and eventually used a barrage of strikes from behind dos Santos to force John McCarthy to call the fight. Dos Santos attempted to protest the stoppage, but reportedly failed the “What the fuck is your problem?” test with his unsure, rubbery legs.

Fellow UFC castoffs  Karo Parisyan, Rameau Thierry Sokoudjou and Jeff Monson also recorded wins, while former champion Carlos Newton lost an ugly fight to Brian Ebersole.

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DREAM 15 Aftermath: Aoki, Mousasi Go Back To Japan, Where the Competition is a Little Easier

(VidProps: YouTube/evilbyte)
Give the DREAM bosses some credit, these guys sure know how to build suspense into what otherwise might be a fairly straightforward and pleasing night of MMA fights. As it turned out, there was no surprise run-in from …

(VidProps: YouTube/evilbyte)

Give the DREAM bosses some credit, these guys sure know how to build suspense into what otherwise might be a fairly straightforward and pleasing night of MMA fights. As it turned out, there was no surprise run-in from Alistair Overeem and the Japanese promotion with the fly-by-the-seat-of-its pants matchmaking style never found a fight for Ricco Rodriguez. We hope it paid for the flight and the sushi, at least.  On the bright side, DREAM finally did manage to convince Gegard Mousasi to put in the 31 seconds of work it took to defeat an overweight Jake O’Brien and Shinya Aoki likewise bounced back from an embarrassing loss in Strikeforce a few months ago to put a quick and typically stoic beating on Tatsuya Kawajiri.

Like “Sweet and Sassy,” Aoki called it an early night, withstanding some heel kicks to the face as he locked up an Achilles lock that secured the tap and appeared to damage his Kawajiri’s leg in just one minute, 53 seconds. A couple of days after possibly declaring his bi-sexuality at the event’s weigh-in (we assume he was being ironical), Aoki ditched his trademark colorful tights for relatively conservative board shorts and rushed from the ring following his win to get some lovin’ from his (possibly female) fiancé.

After the jump, O’Brien vs. Mousasi, where it will take you all of the first 15 seconds to see why the American had a little trouble making weight …

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