Many of you are likely familiar with a Brazilian based promotion called Jungle Fight; through it we have witnessed Jose Aldo’s only professional loss, Machida vs. Bonnar, and the humble beginnings of such fighters as Paulo Thiago, Thales Leites, and Ronaldo Souza. Created and currently run by former fighter Wallid Ismail, Jungle Fight has grown to become a regular feature of ESPNDeportes, and will be looking to branch out into the world of women’s mixed martial arts when it debuts an all woman promotion, audaciously labeled Pink Fight MMA, on January 29th.
That’s right. Pink Fight MMA.
The card will feature six fights and is headlined by a 125 pound clash between 4-2 Shooto veteran Maria Elisabete “Beth” Tavares and 2-3-1 muay Thai striker Kalindra Carvalho Faria. The affair will transpire at the Descobrimento Cultural Event Center in Porto Seguro, Bahia, Brazil. Ismail released a statement on the promotion’s big debut, declaring that, “I’m sure that Pink Fight will reveal new talents and encourage other women to become professional fighters.” Truly a man of his word, Pink Fight’s official website has already begun accepting applications, so if you have a little sister in need of a disciplinary lesson that simply cannot be taught in the household, sign them up today.
(Sorry Cyborg, you can’t come.)
Many of you are likely familiar with a Brazilian based promotion called Jungle Fight; through it we have witnessed Jose Aldo’s only professional loss, Machida vs. Bonnar, and the humble beginnings of such fighters as Paulo Thiago, Thales Leites, and Ronaldo Souza. Created and currently run by former fighter Wallid Ismail, Jungle Fight has grown to become a regular feature of ESPNDeportes, and will be looking to branch out into the world of women’s mixed martial arts when it debuts an all woman promotion, audaciously labeled Pink Fight MMA, on January 29th.
That’s right. Pink Fight MMA.
The card will feature six fights and is headlined by a 125 pound clash between 4-2 Shooto veteran Maria Elisabete “Beth” Tavares and 2-3-1 muay Thai striker Kalindra Carvalho Faria. The affair will transpire at the Descobrimento Cultural Event Center in Porto Seguro, Bahia, Brazil. Ismail released a statement on the promotion’s big debut, declaring that, “I’m sure that Pink Fight will reveal new talents and encourage other women to become professional fighters.” Truly a man of his word, Pink Fight’s official website has already begun accepting applications, so if you have a little sister in need of a disciplinary lesson that simply cannot be taught in the household, sign them up today.
The upstart promotion has already found its fair share of advocates, starting with long time MMA supporter and Brazilian Senator Magno Matla, who has publicly come out in favor of an all woman MMA league, stating the following:
Such a big nation with the potential to create champions deserved a female promotion. We have a lot of examples to follow, [like] world No. 1 Cris ‘Cyborg’ [Santos] and our president, who is also a woman. Brazil has a lot of female representatives who make us proud and now it’s time to create MMA idols, too.
While Her Excellency Dilma Rousseff is undoubtedly an inspiration for women worldwide, you might want to reserve judgement on Cyborg, Mr. Malta. Don’t get us wrong, the woman is being made an example of, but that’s not exactly the same thing.
What say you, Potato Nation? Is Pink Fight destined to become the Mecca of women’s MMA, or will it fall face down in the mud, nay, the YAMMA pit? Let’s hope it’s the former.
(Kung Fu Panda, seen here at the Haywire premier. Just kidding Gina, you know we love you. Seriously, we fucking love you.)
You see, Potato Nation? This is why we can’t have nice things. Continuing the decades-old trend of movie going audiences and critics having the exact opposite opinion of what correlates a decent film, the Gina Carano starring, Steven Soderbergh directed action thriller Haywire opened with a measly 9 million dollars. This, in a weekend that saw Underworld: Rise and Fall of Vamipirous Werewolves 3:The Awakening’s Resolutiontake in over 25 million and Marky Mark Action Movie #346take in over 12 million.
Now, it is a well known fact that most movie studios save their biggest cinematic turds for January (this is the month that brought us Season of the Witch, people), but this has to be a disheartening, if not foreboding sign to Gina Carano 2.0, or whatever we refer to her as now that she isn’t actually fighting MMA anymore. Is it too early to write her off? Of course; that moment will come after one of us manages to get off our lazy asses and check out the movie. Shit, I still haven’t seen Warrior, and I watch a disturbing amount of movies.
As you’ve already heard, the critics thus far have praised Haywire for its stripped down feel and intense pace, scoring it an 82% on the Tomatometer. Audiences, on the other hand, have unanimously trounced Haywire, giving it a D+ on Cinemascore. These are the same audiences, mind you, that gave Transformers: Baygasm an A.
[*Pours first glass of scotch for the day.*]
(Kung Fu Panda, seen here at the Haywire premier. Just kidding Gina, you know we love you. Seriously, we fucking love you.)
You see, Potato Nation? This is why we can’t have nice things. Continuing the decades-old trend of movie going audiences and critics having the exact opposite opinion of what correlates a decent film, the Gina Carano starring, Steven Soderbergh directed action thriller Haywire opened with a measly 9 million dollars. This, in a weekend that saw Underworld: Rise and Fall of Vamipirous Werewolves 3:The Awakening’s Resolutiontake in over 25 million and Marky Mark Action Movie #346take in over 12 million.
Now, it is a well known fact that most movie studios save their biggest cinematic turds for January (this is the month that brought us Season of the Witch, people), but this has to be a disheartening, if not foreboding sign to Gina Carano 2.0, or whatever we refer to her as now that she isn’t actually fighting MMA anymore. Is it too early to write her off? Of course; that moment will come after one of us manages to get off our lazy asses and check out the movie. Shit, I still haven’t seen Warrior, and I watch a disturbing amount of movies.
As you’ve already heard, the critics thus far have praised Haywire for its stripped down feel and intense pace, scoring it an 82% on the Tomatometer. Audiences, on the other hand, have unanimously trounced Haywire, giving it a D+ on Cinemascore. These are the same audiences, mind you, that gave Transformers: Baygasm an A.
[*Pours first glass of scotch for the day.*]
And could you guess which film achieved the lowest score on the Tomatometer and the highest on CinemaScore? That’s right, Underworld Colon Lycan Power 4. As a man with a near crippling latex fetish, I can slightly understand this, because no one rocks the tighty nighties better than Kate Beckinsale, but God dammit people, seriously?
The good news, if any, is that Haywire cost a mere 23 million dollars to make, and will likely earn its investment back, barring a huge second week drop ala The Devil Inside. And considering that Warrior only opened with 5 million dollars, Haywire could be looked at as a step in the right direction, right? I ask unto you, Potato Nation, has anyone actually seen this thing yet?
(Is that who we think it is? No wonder Guillard always chose “Thong Song” as his walkout music.)
Tonight marks the UFC’s fourth biggest debut on a television network, so how appropriate is it that I, CagePotato’s fourth or fifth best writer, would be assigned to such an…assignment? Damn it, I really had something for that. Anyway, both Melvin Guillard and Jim Miller will be looking to rebound from tough losses and reestablish themselves amongst the UFC’s ever-growing 155 lb. division in tonight’s main event. Elsewhere on the card, Pat Barry and Christian Morecraft will likely be fighting for their jobs, and Jorge Rivera is calling it a career regardless of how his battle with Eric Schafer goes. Everyone raise your glass of Dos Equis in his honor.
So whether you’re watching the fights from your local watering hole or the privacy of your two story, five bedroom & three bathroom brownstone in the sky, join me, Jared Jones, as I recap the action round by round starting at 9 p.m. ET/ 6 p.m. PT, all whilst trying to find the perfect balance between Maker’s Mark, Yellow Tail, and Pabst Blue Ribbon. Allow me to preemptively apologize for any grammatical errors, delayed updates, and possibly racist, anti-semitic, or chauvinistic remarks that may or may not find their way onto this liveblog as a result. LETS DO THIS!!!
(Is that who we think it is? No wonder Guillard always chose “Thong Song” as his walkout music.)
Tonight marks the UFC’s fourth biggest debut on a television network, so how appropriate is it that I, CagePotato’s fourth or fifth best writer, would be assigned to such an…assignment? Damn it, I really had something for that. Anyway, both Melvin Guillard and Jim Miller will be looking to rebound from tough losses and reestablish themselves amongst the UFC’s ever-growing 155 lb. division in tonight’s main event. Elsewhere on the card, Pat Barry and Christian Morecraft will likely be fighting for their jobs, and Jorge Rivera is calling it a career regardless of how his battle with Eric Schafer goes. Everyone raise your glass of Dos Equis in his honor.
So whether you’re watching the fights from your local watering hole or the privacy of your two story, five bedroom & three bathroom brownstone in the sky, join me, Jared Jones, as I recap the action round by round starting at 9 p.m. ET/ 6 p.m. PT, all whilst trying to find the perfect balance between Maker’s Mark, Yellow Tail, and Pabst Blue Ribbon. Allow me to preemptively apologize for any grammatical errors, delayed updates, and possibly racist, anti-semitic, or chauvinistic remarks that may or may not find their way onto this liveblog as a result. LETS DO THIS!!!
Undercard Results
-Nick Denis def. Joseph Sandoval via KO (Jordan Mein-esque standing hellbows) 0:22 of round 1
-Daniel Pineda def. Pat Schilling via submission (rear-naked choke) 1:37 of round 1
-Fabricio Camoes def. Tommy Hayden via submission (rear-naked choke) 4:03 of round 1
-Charlie Brenneman def. Daniel Roberts via unanimous decision (30-27 x2, 29-28)
-Habib “The Nurm” Nurmagomedov def. Kamal Shalorus via submission (rear-naked choke) 2:08 of round 3
-Jorge Rivera def. Eric Schafer via TKO (punches) 1:31 of round 2
Jon Anik says Morecraft will have to be “crafty and more to get past Pat Barry.” Mauro Ronaldo just threw himself into oncoming traffic. Herb Dean is our referee.
Round 1: Morecraft gets ahold of Barry’s leg and takes him down early, then starts working a rear-naked. Barry fights out of it and gets to his feet. Leg kick drops Morecraft momentarily. Nice jab by Barry. Morecraft shoots a single…is that Barry attempting a guillotine?!! Morecraft takes advantage, gets Barry to the mat and mounts him again. Morecraft goes for an armbar AND BARRY DEFENDS IT. Barry just misses a head kick. A looping left hook drops Morecraft, and Barry swarms him. Barry finishes Morecraft off with some brutal ground and pound ala Yvel/Rizzo.
Barry def. Morecraft via KO (punches) at 3:38 round 1
Barry showed some much improved submission defense, but will need to add some takedown defense if he wants to put together a real win streak. And he celebrates by planking on Jon Anik’s foot. Love him or hate him, you can’t deny that Barry is one entertaining SOB. Morecraft looks…rough.
Mike Easton vs. Jared Papazian
These two are not fans of one another, and are jawing from across the cage. Was that a Haiduken by Easton in the introductions?
Round 1: Both men come out trading like Frye/Takayama, minus the mustache glory. Easton pins Papazian against the cage. Yamasaki breaks it up near the halfway mark. Leg kick by each man. Papazian wings a huge right hook and catches nothing but air. Leg kick by Easton is answered. Left hand counter by Easton. Easton tries a knee from the clinch. Then a spinning back kick that partially lands. Nice leg kick from Easton. Both men trade some knees and punches until the round ends. 10-9 Easton.
Round 2: Papazian lands a few punches including a superman, but Easton walks right through them. Solid left hook from Easton. Both guys are swinging for the fences, but Easton is getting the better, who decides to clinch. Now they are fighting for underhooks against the cage. Now Papazian tries the spinning back kick, and Easton clinches. Easton gets a takedown and into half guard. He momentarily gets side mount, but Papazian is able to stand back up. Knee Easton. Papazian shoots but is reversed and taken down. Another close round, but Easton took it with takedowns.
Round 3: Both men are trading back and forth with bad intentions. Papazian gets the clinch, but Easton reverses again. Mario splits them up. Papazian recovers briefly from a knee to the groin. Jab Papazian. Three punch combo by Easton. These men have some chins, folks. Papazian is coming forward Diaz style, constantly pressuring Easton with punches in bunches. Leg kicks from both fighters. Easton follows a trip with a right hand. Easton gets the Thai plum and throws a couple more knees. Uppercut Papazian. Easton answers with a right and Papazian goes for a double as the bell rings. Great fight.
Mike Easton def. Jared Papazian via majority decision.
Duane Ludwig vs. Josh Neer
This was my original pick for FOTN, but it’s going to be hard to top Papazian/Easton. They’re using the NFL theme as background music, a sickening reminder that I have to watch Tom Brady yet again come Sunday. I’m not one to wish harm on another person, but I really hope someone spears Brady directly into Bill Belichick, permanently disabling them both in the process.
Round 1: Both men pawing with the jab. Neer clinches after Ludwig catches him coming forward. Nice balance by Ludwig, who throws a knee. Neer lands an overhand right. Ludwig with a knee to the body that momentarily backs up Neer. Ludwig lands a few nice shots, and Neer is just eating them up. Neer grabs a single and manages to get Ludwig down. Neer snags a guillotine in the scramble, and that shit is DEEP. Ludwig goes limp shortly thereafter. Nice win for Neer.
Josh Neer def. Duane Ludwig via submission (guillotine) 3:05 round 1.
Now they’re previewing the Diaz/Condit fight, calling Diaz “the most enigmatic fighter in the UFC.”A thousand dollars says Diaz can neither spell that word nor knows what it means. Then again, dictionaries are for trick ass punks and punk ass tricks, homie.
Melvin Guillard vs. Jim Miller
Miller comes out to “Bad Moon Rising” by CCR. BOSS.
Round 1: Guillard tries an “explosive” flying knee early. Then another. Guillard catches Miller with a left, and Miller clinches. Guillard throws another knee, then whiffs a head kick. Miller drives him into the fence but can’t get him down. Guillard with a right, then yet another flying knee, but Miller manages to take him down. Miller quickly gets into mount, Guillard tries to stand, and Miller leaps into a rear naked choke. I’ve seen this movie before. Aaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnndddd it’s over. Blackzilians are officially 0-2 in the octagon.
Jim Miller def. Melvin Guillard via submission (rear-naked choke) 2:04 of round 1
Chalk up another win for the Gambling Enabler, folks. Well, just like many first times, this liveblog was shockingly quick and mostly pain free. I thank those of you who decided to keep me company on this cold evening, and hope you all have a great weekend. Peace and love, Potato Nation.
(Admire it, Potato Nation. Admire it like a beautiful April morning.)
Alexander will be taking on fellow UFC washout Gilbert Yvel, who made the drop to light heavyweight in his last bout and scored a first round submission via strikes win over Damian Dantibo. The victory was his first since dropping three straight to Junior Dos Santos, Ben Rothwell, and John Madsen in his short lived UFC run. We managed to find a video of the fight and added it below. Warning: turn down your speakers.
(Admire it, Potato Nation. Admire it like a beautiful April morning.)
Alexander will be taking on fellow UFC washout Gilbert Yvel, who made the drop to light heavyweight in his last bout and scored a first round submission via strikes win over Damian Dantibo. The victory was his first since dropping three straight to Junior Dos Santos, Ben Rothwell, and John Madsen in his short lived UFC run. We managed to find a video of the fight and added it below. Warning: turn down your speakers.
*Checks ear piece* I am being told that the above video is not from Gilbert Yvel’s most recent fight, but is in fact a video of a 2004 fight in which he KO’d a referee. My apologies. HERE is Yvel’s light heavyweight debut.
In retrospect, those two videos were actually quite similar.
Perhaps we’re in the minority here, but we are really looking forward to this one, if only because it is the kind of fight that has a 90% chance of ending via uber violent KO. Who you got for this one, Potato Nation?
(I got blood on my hands and there’s no remorse, I got blood on my…well, you get the point.)
We’ll be completely honest, folks, it has been awhile since the official CagePotato Parlay has shown us a return worth getting excited about, or any return for that matter. Bill collectors were ignored, drugs were peddled, and we even had to turn a trick or two to solve our gambling debts, but as they say, it is always darkest before the dawn. Last week, we actually managed to end up in the green, so what better opportunity to keep the ball rolling than the UFC’s debut on FX tomorrow? Check out the betting lines, courtesy of BestFightOdds, along with our advice below.
Undercard
Nick Denis (-240) vs. Joseph Sandoval (+200)
Daniel Pineda (-120) vs. Pat Schilling (EV)
Fabricio Camoes (-325) vs. Tom Hayden (+265)
Kamal Shalorus (-135) vs. Habib Nurmagomedov (+115) Charlie Brenneman (-300) vs. Daniel Roberts (+250)
Eric Schafer (-155) vs. Jorge Rivera (+135)
Thoughts…
(I got blood on my hands and there’s no remorse, I got blood on my…well, you get the point.)
We’ll be completely honest, folks, it has been awhile since the official CagePotato Parlay has shown us a return worth getting excited about, or any return for that matter. Bill collectors were ignored, drugs were peddled, and we even had to turn a trick or two to solve our gambling debts. But as they say, it is always darkest before the dawn. Last week, we actually managed to end up in the green, so what better opportunity to keep the ball rolling than the UFC’s debut on FX tomorrow? Check out the betting lines, courtesy of BestFightOdds, along with our advice below.
Undercard
Nick Denis (-240) vs. Joseph Sandoval (+200)
Daniel Pineda (-120) vs. Pat Schilling (EV)
Fabricio Camoes (-325) vs. Tom Hayden (+265)
Kamal Shalorus (-135) vs. Habib Nurmagomedov (+115) Charlie Brenneman (-300) vs. Daniel Roberts (+250)
Eric Schafer (-155) vs. Jorge Rivera (+135)
Thoughts…
The Main Event: Here’s what we know; Melvin Guillard may just be the hardest hitting 155er in the UFC, and has greatly improved his takedown defense over the years. What we also know is that Melvin recently decided to leave the team responsible for his recent success to join a camp that allowed Anthony Johnson to show up twelve pounds overweight at the UFC 142 weigh-ins. Oh yeah, and he doesn’t exactly have a ground game worth bragging about, and against a Jiu-Jitsu ace like Miller, that spells trouble.
On the contrary, Jim Miller is a smart, well rounded fighter who has been impossible to knock out thus far in his career. Is that saying Melvin can’t knock him out? Well, allow us to answer that question with a question; did anyone expect Guillard to steamroll Evan Dunham like he did? That being said, Miller is the worst kind of match-up for Guillard, and he should be able to snatch up a submission within three rounds.
The Good Dogs: Off the bat, Jorge Rivera looks good at +135. Though he’s dropped two straight, he’s got some serious power in his punches, and is facing a consistent UFC under-performer in Eric Schafer. This one really depends on whether or not “Red” can get it to the mat; if Jorge can stick-and-move, he’s got this one. Another name that stands out is one you probably won’t recognize, Habib Nurmagomedov. The man is 16-0 with an even KO to submission ratio, and is facing a toguh but flawed fighter in Kamal Shalorus. “The Price of Persia” has not fought since being TKO’ed by Jim Miller nearly a year ago, and though he may have some big league experience on “The Nurm” (official CP nickname), he also has some HUGE holes in his stand up game.
Also, several other gambling sites have Josh Neer listed as a slight underdog to Duane Ludwig at the moment, which could net you a small profit with a lone bet. Neer has a much better ground game, an arguably better gas tank, and only been stopped by strikes once in his career. Placing a small bet on “The Dentist” doesn’t seem like a terrible idea, but keep that one away from your parlay.
Tread Lightly: When placing your bet on Pat Barry. Don’t get us wrong, if Stefan Struve and Matt Mitrione were able to stop Christian Morecraft in the fashion they did, then “HD” should by all means have his way with him. But anyone who possesses a basic submission knowledge poses a threat to Barry *cough* Tim Hague, anyone?* We still like him to win, but aren’t going to bet the house on this one. He makes a nice addition to a parlay though.
Official CagePotato Parlay: Miller + Easton + Barry + Denis
100 bucks nets you $367.65 in return. Now, let’s all hold hands and pray to our collective Gods that we don’t have to pay another visit to Big Tim after this one.
Hauling in an abysmal 68,805 dollars, “Rockhold vs. Jardine” achieved a final attendance of just under 2000 (1992) with only 927 tickets sold. The other 1,065 tickets were comped, and 727 tickets remained unsold. The total fighter purse for this event was an even $566,000.
(This is when we’d normally tell you to keep your chin up, Keith, but that seems to be what got you here in the first place.)
Hauling in an abysmal 68,805 dollars, “Rockhold vs. Jardine” achieved a final attendance of just under 2000 (1992) with only 927 tickets sold. The other 1,065 tickets were comped, and 727 tickets remained unsold. The total fighter purse for this event was an even $566,000.
To look at this through an even dirtier windowpane, along with Robbie Lawler, Luke Rockhold and a juiced up Muhammed Lawalalso cleared more than the live gate. Hell, Tyrone Woodley made nearly that much to take a fifteen minute nap on Jordan Mein. Again, it’s not necessarily mind-blowing, but those are Challengers numbers, people. Blame it on the UFC snatching up all their champions and the lack of big name fights as a result, or do what we do, and blame everything on the combination of Mauro Ranallo and Frank Shamrock. In either case, nothing short of a heart transplant is going to save this old man; all we can do now is offer him a hospital bed at a discount price, so to speak. Forget the Ronda Rousey death pool, chances are Strikeforce won’t even be around long enough to promote that match-up. We give ‘em 6-8 months, how bout you?
Speaking of shitty numbers, the UFC 142 Prelims, which were the first to air on FX last Saturday, only pulled in 880,000 viewers, which was lower than any “Prelim” episode to air on SpikeTV in the special’s history. UFC 141, on the other hand, managed to reel in over 1.8 million viewers, despite the fact that both FX and Spike are delivered to roughly the same number of homes (around 100 million). Though this can be partially attributed to the fact that most casual fans have yet to become aware of the transition in networks, the numbers are still disappointing to say the least. Let’s hope the UFC’s full event debut on FX this Friday brings in some more/new fans, because we do not need to go back to watching three hours worth of fights on Facebook. Sorry, Jimy.
And hey, speaking of the UFC on FX, make sure to join us Friday night for our liveblog of the event, which will feature more than it’s fair share of whiskey fueld rants courtesy of yours truly. See you there.
