Author: DangadaDang

CP Facepalm of the Day: Dan Hardy Calls Out Matt Hughes

Perhaps you guys remember a time…oh, let’s say around 9 months ago, when former welterweight title challenger Dan Hardy had just dropped his third straight match to Anthony Johnson. In desperate need of a win, Hardy decided that he should call out a fighter by the name of Chris Lytle. You see, Lytle was on the tail end of his career, and plus, Hardy knew that “Lights Out’s” style would play perfectly into his strengths. Hardy claimed however, that he chose Lytle out of the need for “an old school shootout with a guy that wants to throw down.” We saw through the bullshit.

But then, after getting his wish and finding himself on the wrong end of a good old fashioned Lytle ass-whooping, Hardy dove in for a takedown at the end of the third round, and was promptly submitted. He claimed he needed some time off to think about his future, even though he knew it was safe in the UFC.

Well, it seems that Hardy has spent a good deal of time thinking about a solid, game opponent for which he should begin his comeback. A young, feisty up and comer by the name of…Matt Hughes? Hardy told ESPN:

Perhaps you guys remember a time…oh, let’s say around 9 months ago, when former welterweight title challenger Dan Hardy had just dropped his third straight match to Anthony Johnson. In desperate need of a win, Hardy decided that he should call out a fighter by the name of Chris Lytle. You see, Lytle was on the tail end of his career, and plus, Hardy knew that “Lights Out’s” style would play perfectly into his strengths. Hardy claimed however, that he chose Lytle out of the need for “an old school shootout with a guy that wants to throw down.” We saw through the bullshit.

But then, after getting his wish and finding himself on the wrong end of a good old fashioned Lytle ass-whooping, Hardy dove in for a takedown at the end of the third round, and was promptly submitted. He claimed he needed some time off to think about his future, even though he knew it was safe in the UFC.

Well, it seems that Hardy has spent a good deal of time thinking about a solid, game opponent for which he should begin his comeback. A young, feisty up and comer by the name of…Matt Hughes? Hardy told ESPN:

I’ve mentioned Matt Hughes to Lorenzo. He’s been on a rough streak as well recently, he’ll look at me and see I’ve lost four fights and think he can outwrestle me. I also genuinely don’t like him. I need a fight to get up for and I’d take great pleasure in smashing him in the face. I won’t talk about why I don’t like him, it’s some knowledge I have about him away from the sport. Even students around where he lives bet against him. Lorenzo would love to see it; more than anything he just likes a good fight! That’s why I’ve not been cut yet because I come to fight. I think Matt Hughes would be an entertaining fight. 

If anything, this without a doubt proves that Hardy lives up to his nickname, because only a true outlaw would choose to rebuild himself using the fragile, osteoporosis-ridden bones of the elderly.

Now, we here at CP understand that it sometimes takes a couple lower level fights to build a fighter’s confidence back up; it’s part of the game. And we definitely understand that someone could clash heads with Matt Hughes, but you gotta be kidding with this one, Dan. Not only has Hughes been discussing retirement for like 3 years now, but the man is coming off back-to-back knockout losses for Christ’s sake. And don’t give us this “entertaining fight” routine again; what’s next, you want to fight Renzo Gracie to show us how far your ground game has come?

And we’re just going to brush over the fact that Hardy had the balls to mention an opponent to Lorenzo Fertitta, a man whom he should be thanking each time he looks down at his plate and sees that there is still food on it. It would be like if we all quit work today, only to come back a year from now and request a raise along with some stock options.

Perhaps even more ironic is the possibility that if Hardy was somehow given this fight, we could see him being listed as the underdog considering that Hughes presents the exact kind of gameplan that just one fight ago, Hardy was complaining about having to deal with.

Does anyone out there think this is a legitimate, respect based request by Hardy, or are y’all calling shenanigans like us?

-Danga 

Booking Roundup: De Fries vs. Miocic at UFC on FUEL, Lamas Steps in for Koch Against Poirier at UFC 143


(DON’T MOVE ROB! There is the biggest hornet on your nose right now!) 

A battle between undefeated heavyweights Stipe Miocic and Philip De Fries has recently been booked for the UFC’s upcoming debut on FUELTV, which transpires February 15th at the CenturyLink and Cornmeal Center in Omaha, Nebraska.

After starting off his professional career with five straight (T)KO victories, all coming within the first two rounds, Croatian-born Stipe Miocic scored a second round leglock submission over Bobby Brents to earn himself a call from the UFC. In his debut, Miocic would handle tough veteran Joey Beltran with a deft combination of leg kicks and takedowns en route to a unanimous decision victory. Though his choice to sport the same checkerboard trunks as the legendary Mirko Cro Cop would earn him the ire of many keyboard warriors across the nation, a win over De Fries, specifically a head kick KO, would certainly give him some breathing room. De Fries, on the other hand, had finished all of his opponents (excluding a No Contest against Dave Wilson) via submission before making his UFC debut, where he scored his own unanimous decision win over Rob Broughton at UFC 138.


(DON’T MOVE ROB! There is the biggest hornet on your nose right now!) 

A battle between undefeated heavyweights Stipe Miocic and Philip De Fries has recently been booked for the UFC’s upcoming debut on FUELTV, which transpires February 15th at the CenturyLink and Cornmeal Center in Omaha, Nebraska.

After starting off his professional career with five straight (T)KO victories, all coming within the first two rounds, Croatian-born Stipe Miocic scored a second round leglock submission over Bobby Brents to earn himself a call from the UFC. In his debut, Miocic would handle tough veteran Joey Beltran with a deft combination of leg kicks and takedowns en route to a unanimous decision victory. Though his choice to sport the same checkerboard trunks as the legendary Mirko Cro Cop would earn him the ire of many keyboard warriors across the nation, a win over De Fries, specifically a head kick KO, would certainly give him some breathing room. De Fries, on the other hand, had finished all of his opponents (excluding a No Contest against Dave Wilson) via submission before making his UFC debut, where he scored his own unanimous decision win over Rob Broughton at UFC 138.

After original opponent Eric Koch was forced to withdraw from their bout citing an unknown injury, featherweight wrecking machine Dustin Poirier was in need of an opponent to continue the four fight win streak he had built up starting back at WEC 52, which had included brilliant wins over Pablo Garza and Josh Grispi. It has been reported that fellow UFC on FOX victor Ricardo Lamas has stepped up to the challenge and will meet Poirier at UFC 143, which goes down February 4th from the Mandalay Bay in Las Vegas and features an interim welterweight championship bout between Nick Diaz and Carlos Condit.

Lamas has built up a two fight streak of his own in his time under the Zuffa banner, following up a head kick TKO over Matt Grice with the aforementioned UFC on FOX win over Cub Swanson via second round arm triangle.

What say you, Potato Nation, who takes these?

-Danga 

Must See Video: Kim Jong-il’s Bodyguards Had One F*cked Up Training Regimen

You’ve probably heard by now that Kim Jong-il is dead. No, he was not killed by the hands of Hans Blixs and no, the above video is not a collection of clips from the 2002 fake karate film Kung Pow: Enter the Fist. The sad reality is that what you are watching is simply what the former North Korean dictator’s bodyguards went through on a daily basis. Unreleased until a few hours ago (shocking), the footage is…uh…impressive to say the least, but not without that extra bit of crazy thrown in to let you know this is a KJi joint.

According to the narrator, il’s bodyguards are forced to “hit something” from the moment they wake up, whether that be a giant, cement block attached to another guard’s face, or a two-by-four placed on another’s neck. The rest of their day, however, is not that different from what many of us do to make a living here in America:

You’ve probably heard by now that Kim Jong-il is dead. No, he was not killed by the hands of Hans Blixs and no, the above video is not a collection of clips from the 2002 fake karate film Kung Pow: Enter the Fist. The sad reality is that what you are watching is simply what the former North Korean dictator’s bodyguards went through on a daily basis. Unreleased until a few hours ago (shocking), the footage is…uh…impressive to say the least, but not without that extra bit of crazy thrown in to let you know this is a KJi joint.

According to the narrator, il’s bodyguards are forced to “hit something” from the moment they wake up, whether that be a giant, cement block attached to another guard’s face, or a two-by-four placed on another’s neck. The rest of their day, however, is not that different from what many of us do to make a living here in America:

6 a.m. – Dodge knives thrown at you like some kind of circus act

8 a.m. – Break bricks over stomach

10 a.m. – Brunch

10:05 a.m. – 8 hours of various shooting exercises

6 p.m. – PULL A TRUCK FULL OF PEOPLE ACROSS AN EMPTY LOT WITH YOUR BARE HANDS

6:30 p.m. – Purchase oversized sunglasses and khaki pants from passing gypsy woman

7 p.m. – Kill gypsy woman

8 p.m. – 5:55 a.m. – Just beat the ever-loving shit out of one another

5:55 – 6:00 a.m. – Sleep

It may sound bad, but I hear that once a year, il allowed his bodyguards to visit their families, whom had all mysteriously been locked away in dog kennels and sent to opposite corners of the country. So, it’s not like he was a monster or anything.

-Danga 

It Won’t Be Long, We’ll Meet Again: The Five Most Necessary and Unnecessary Rematches of 2011


(I see trouble a brewin’ on the horizon.) 

Given their frequency within the sport, we oft discuss the rematch here at CagePotato: we’ve mentioned a few that we’d like to see, we’ve mocked the possible occurence of others, and we’ve even gone as far as to predict how future ones would go down. And with 2011 featuring over 10 in the UFC alone, we decided to take a look back at at a year that both showcased and disgraced the awesomeness that is the rematch. Join us on this trip down memory lane, won’t you?

The Ones We Needed to See 

#5 – Anderson Silva vs. Yushin Okami at UFC 134

(Silva v. Okami, though this image could be from just about any of Silva’s fights.) 

Why it had to happen: Because the first fight marked the last time Silva had lost…at anything, and even if it was by way of illegal upkick DQ, it was enough to convince some people that Okami had his number. Plus, Okami had earned his shot by this point, and we were getting pretty damned tired of debating this old issue.

How it happened: Absolute. Domination. In typical fashion, Silva toyed with Okami like he was wrestling with his 4 year old nephew, letting the audience know that the fight would end when he decided it would. A head kick that rocked Okami at the end of the first round reinforced this belief, and Silva mercifully finished him off in the second. Cut. Print. TKO.

What it proved: That, outside of Chael Sonnen, there are no threats left in the UFC’s middleweight division for Anderson Silva. As with Strikeforce women’s featherweight champion Christiane “Cyborg” Santos, Silva must journey to another weight class if he desires a true challenge. Even DW is coming around to the idea, sort of.


(I see trouble a brewin’ on the horizon.) 

Given their frequency within the sport, we oft discuss the rematch here at CagePotato: we’ve mentioned a few that we’d like to see, we’ve mocked the possible occurence of others, and we’ve even gone as far as to predict how future ones would go down. And with 2011 featuring over 10 in the UFC alone, we decided to take a look back at at a year that both showcased and disgraced the awesomeness that is the rematch. Join us on this trip down memory lane, won’t you?

The Ones We Needed to See 

#5 – Anderson Silva vs. Yushin Okami at UFC 134

(Silva v. Okami, though this image could be from just about any of Silva’s fights.) 

Why it had to happen: Because the first fight marked the last time Silva had lost…at anything, and even if it was by way of illegal upkick DQ, it was enough to convince some people that Okami had his number. Plus, Okami had earned his shot by this point, and we were getting pretty damned tired of debating this old issue.

How it happened: Absolute. Domination. In typical fashion, Silva toyed with Okami like he was wrestling with his 4 year old nephew, letting the audience know that the fight would end when he decided it would. A head kick that rocked Okami at the end of the first round reinforced this belief, and Silva mercifully finished him off in the second. Cut. Print. TKO.

What it proved: That, outside of Chael Sonnen, there are no threats left in the UFC’s middleweight division for Anderson Silva. As with Strikeforce women’s featherweight champion Christiane “Cyborg” Santos, Silva must journey to another weight class if he desires a true challenge. Even DW is coming around to the idea, sort of.

#4 – TIE: Leonard Garcia vs. Nam Phan/Chan Sung Jung at UFN 24 and UFC 136

(Deep in the recesses of my brain, a tiny, red hot little flame began to grow.) 

Why they needed to happen: Because not many believed Garcia beat Jung, and not even Greg Jackson believed he beat Phan.

How they happened: Things didn’t go so well for “Bad Boy” the second time around; after falling prey to Jung’s Submission of the Year earning twister at UFN 24, Garcia would be upended by Phan in a Fight of the Night earning performance at UFC 136. Though detrimental to Garcia’s career, it did restore the balance between the sacred realms that had been thrown into chaos as a result of his previous “victories.” And hey, at least he took it with class.

What they proved: That MMA judging has not followed the sport’s rapid evolution over the past ten years, and perhaps it was time for a change. We’ve already discussed what needs to be done, but are still waiting for our lawyer to draft up the official documents. Anyone else got an idea?

By the Way, Alexander Shlemenko Fought in Russia Last Night

(Props, as always, go to our buddies over at IronForgesIron.) 

There are two kinds of fighters in this world; those who take their sweet time in between fights, either to mend their wounds or simply because everyone is afraid to fight them, and then there are those like Alexander Shlemenko, who, after handling Vitor Vianna just a month ago at Bellator Fighting Championships 57 and earning a rematch with Bellator middleweight champion Hector Lombard, decided not to wait around for our puny brained American system to determine a rematch date. Instead, Alex risked life and limb to take on UFC vet Julio Paulino last night in Mother Russia under possibly the longest named promotion of all time, Far Eastern Federation of Modern Pankration, the result of which we can only spoil if you join us after the jump…


(Props, as always, go to our buddies over at IronForgesIron.) 

There are two kinds of fighters in this world; those who take their sweet time in between fights, either to mend their wounds or simply because everyone is afraid to fight them, and then there are those like Alexander Shlemenko, who, after handling Vitor Vianna just a month ago at Bellator Fighting Championships 57 and earning a rematch with Bellator middleweight champion Hector Lombard, decided not to wait around for our puny brained American system to determine a rematch date. Instead, Alex risked life and limb to take on UFC vet Julio Paulino last night in Mother Russia under possibly the longest named promotion of all time, Far Eastern Federation of Modern Pankration, the result of which we can only spoil if you join us after the jump…

…Shlemenko won via unanimous decision. So there. Also on the card, former UFC heavyweight champion Ricco Rodriguez continued his world tour that last saw him get KTFO by Glover Texeira in Brazil, this time thankfully scoring a second round TKO over the 3-1 Bashir Yamilkhanov. That video is below. Enjoy.

-Danga 

Hey, At Least Strikeforce’s Heavyweight Tournament Has a Date Set for its Finale


(We know Josh, we’re frustrated too.) 

I’m going to level with you for a second, Potato Nation. As I write this, it’s nearing five o’clock on what has been a dull and dreary Friday here in the Adirondacks. I’ve spent nearly all of my money on a bunch of ill-advised Christmas gifts and I’m looking to throw the rest into a bar tab starting pronto, so I apologize for my rather apathetic candor whilst delivering this news.

It has recently been announced that a date for the long anticipated finals of Strikeforce’s heavyweight tournament has been set at last, and a location has also been determined. March 3rd, at the Arnold Sports Festival in Columbus, Ohio. UFC/ PRIDE veteran Josh Barnett will face undefeated prospect Daniel Cormier. In two and a half freaking months. If you recall, this Goddamned tournament began over 10 months ago.


(We know Josh, we’re frustrated too.) 

I’m going to level with you for a second, Potato Nation. As I write this, it’s nearing five o’clock on what has been a dull and dreary Friday here in the Adirondacks. I’ve spent nearly all of my money on a bunch of ill-advised Christmas gifts and I’m looking to throw the rest into a bar tab starting pronto, so I apologize for my rather apathetic candor whilst delivering this news.

It has recently been announced that a date for the long anticipated finals of Strikeforce’s heavyweight tournament has been set at last, and a location has also been determined. March 3rd, at the Arnold Sports Festival in Columbus, Ohio. UFC/ PRIDE veteran Josh Barnett will face undefeated prospect Daniel Cormier. In two and a half freaking months. If you recall, this Goddamned tournament began over 10 months ago.

Though I have few doubts that the fight will be anything but a barnburner, I just can’t seem to get all that excited for a match that determines the kingpin of a division that won’t even exist next year. It’s the same reason that I cannot watch an episode of Community anymore without feeling this heavy, sickening sense of resentment in the back of my mind. So, again, I apologize for my lack of much-needed hype for this event, but I’ve already forgotten what I was writing about.

So…who do you…and how…

-Danga