Author: J.Jones

Ask Don #2: Fighting Satan, Tits on a Belly, And Marijuana in MMA


(Don Frye is holding a revolver. Your argument is invalid.) 

These days, Don Frye is less an MMA fighter, more a philosophizer on facial hair, poontang, and the keys to being an alpha male in every given situation that life presents. Don’t get us wrong, Frye will still lay the boots to any hooley-hoo punk-ass jabroni who’s asking for it at the drop of a hat, but thanks to our recent “Ask Don” mailbag column, we’ve been lucky enough to set Frye’s legendary MMA status aside and simply pry into his mind in the hopes that maybe some of it will rub off on our measly, pathetic lives. So check out his latest dose of sagacity below, make sure to leave your own questions in the comments section, and then visit DonFrye.com to buy some stuff that will instantly skyrocket your popularity with the ladies.

bgoldstein asks: Don, I heard you were doing some stunt-work recently for a movie. Like, you weren’t in the movie, you were just stunt-manning for some other actor. The fuck is up with that?

I enjoy stunt work. I am paid extra by the theatrical community to do the stunt work instead of acting work. Due to my extraordinary talent, all would forget about Brando, Olivier, and DeNiro when I am performing dialogue and emotions in front of the camera. Can you imagine Don Frye performing emotions in front of the camera? (Ed note: No. No I can not.) 


(Don Frye is holding a revolver. Your argument is invalid.) 

These days, Don Frye is less an MMA fighter, more a philosophizer on facial hair, poontang, and the keys to being an alpha male in every given situation that life presents. Don’t get us wrong, Frye will still lay the boots to any hooley-hoo punk-ass jabroni who’s asking for it at the drop of a hat, but thanks to our recent “Ask Don” mailbag column, we’ve been lucky enough to set Frye’s legendary MMA status aside and simply pry into his mind in the hopes that maybe some of it will rub off on our measly, pathetic lives. So check out his latest dose of sagacity below, make sure to leave your own questions in the comments section, and then visit DonFrye.com to buy some stuff that will instantly skyrocket your popularity with the ladies.

bgoldstein asks: Don, I heard you were doing some stunt-work recently for a movie. Like, you weren’t in the movie, you were just stunt-manning for some other actor. The fuck is up with that?

I enjoy stunt work. I am paid extra by the theatrical community to do the stunt work instead of acting work. Due to my extraordinary talent, all would forget about Brando, Olivier, and DeNiro when I am performing dialogue and emotions in front of the camera. Can you imagine Don Frye performing emotions in front of the camera? (Ed note: No. No I can not.) 

alank asks: If you were given the chance to kick the living shit out of anybody, living or dead, who would you pick and why?

It would be Satan because he has caused all the tribulations in my life.

MoirningwoodII asks: Don, where are the best strip clubs? Don’t reply Thailand, cuz it was probably a dude that danced for you.

Iowa because of the number of tits on a belly, you get more for your money (cows).

2DaDeath asks: Roy Nelson thinks winning is the only thing that matters and Dana White thinks you should take risks so that you’re remembered (more or less). Who’s right?

In PRIDE you were paid to first entertain the crowd and second to win the fight. Roy Nelson is correct due to the “dictorial bullying” of Dana White… that if you loose two fights you are fired. So Roy Nelson is correct by default of the King’s Declaration.

crappieflopper asks: Mr. Frye, How do I convince my wife’s two sisters to have a three way with me? Please note, I am unable to grow an epic stash, or I would ask for advice on a four way with me, the wife, and her two sisters. Thank you.

Without the stash, you have no chance so just let it go and stay under the covers with your magazines.

Loki asks: My buddy Stephen ordered a shirt from you some time back and at the time you were out of stock, you called him personally to appologize and explain that your wife ran the site and didnt have all the kinks worked out yet: “Stephen. Hey there partner this is Don Frye…Its uh…7 o’clock…my time. etc.” That was pretty cool of you. My question is; were you drunk at the time? Because you sounded pretty drunk.

Apparently your friend had his phone in his front pocket when he played the message for you and the proximity made you too dizzy to hear the message correctly.

fake joe silva asks: What are your thoughts on fighters using marijuana? Should it be allowed? Do you use it?

Yes it should be allowed. If it’s not tested for the welfare class, why should it be tested for the people who work for a living?

Photos of the Day: The Nogueira’s and Anderson Silva Visit Fabio Maldonado in the Hospital


(“You got punched where? And by who? I’m not sure I understand.”) 

If anything, UFC 153 provided us with several entertaining moments to confirm what we already knew, or at least hoped, to be true:

1. This Anderson Silva guy is for real.
2. This Glover Texmexamerica guy is also for real. Look out Page.
3. Jon Fitch is in fact capable of entertaining a crowd. (fight it….fight it…)
4. This Jiu Jitsu stuff works.
5. Fabio Maldanado is the closest thing to a zombie this earth may ever witness.

That last lesson came at a price that Maldanado will likely pay down the line in terms of brain function, but who needs brains when you have to special order your underwear to hold your massive balls? And if there’s any country out there that appreciates as gritty a performance as Maldonado gave on Saturday, it’s Brazil. And while they rallied around fellow Brazilian Glover Teixeira’s solid performance against Maldonado, they were quick to support their fallen comrade as well.

So in an effort to support Maldonado’s incredible display of heart, fellow UFC 153 participants/Brazilians Anderson Silva and Antonio Nogueira (along with Lil Nog) paid Maldonado a visit in the hospital. Tears were spilled, laughs were shared, and we’re pretty sure at least one of them fired up the grill, so check out the pair of photos and let us know who you’d like to see Maldonado fight next now that his UFC future is safe for the moment.


(“You got punched where? And by who? I’m not sure I understand.”) 

If anything, UFC 153 provided us with several entertaining moments to confirm what we already knew, or at least hoped, to be true:

1. This Anderson Silva guy is for real.
2. This Glover Texmexamerica guy is also for real. Look out Page.
3. Jon Fitch is in fact capable of entertaining a crowd. (fight it….fight it…)
4. This Jiu Jitsu stuff works.
5. Fabio Maldanado is the closest thing to a zombie this earth may ever witness.

That last lesson came at a price that Maldanado will likely pay down the line in terms of brain function, but who needs brains when you have to special order your underwear to hold your massive balls? And if there’s any country out there that appreciates as gritty a performance as Maldonado gave on Saturday, it’s Brazil. And while they rallied around fellow Brazilian Glover Teixeira’s solid performance against Maldonado, they were quick to support their fallen comrade as well.

So in an effort to support Maldonado’s incredible display of heart, fellow UFC 153 participants/Brazilians Anderson Silva and Antonio Nogueira (along with Lil Nog) paid Maldonado a visit in the hospital. Tears were spilled, laughs were shared, and we’re pretty sure at least one of them fired up the grill, so check out the pair of photos and let us know who you’d like to see Maldonado fight next now that his UFC future is safe for the moment.

–J. Jones

Knockout of the Day: Bhabajeet Chowdhury Spinning Back Kicks Charanjit Singh Into a Living Death at SFL 4


(This is normally where we would place a screencap of the fight. Unfortunately, the quality of SFL streams is so poor that the screencap looked more like a Jackson Pollock than it did anything else and no amount of enhancing could do it justice.) 

As you may or may not know given the plethora of fight action that occurred this past weekend, Indian upstart promotion Super Fight League held their fourth event in Mumbai, India. Now, we have been predicting the collapse of SFL for some time now (turns out we just had the wrong promotion) and when it was reported that CEO Ken Pavia had resigned from the organization, it only fueled similar predictions around the MMA blogosphere. Throw in the fact that SFL couldn’t even reel in Bob Sapp for their fourth event — which was headlined by a 1-2 fighter taking on a 11-8 fighter — and you’ve pretty much got all the ammunition you need for an official deathwatch.

But despite all of the things going against them, SFL’s fourth event turned out to be a modest success, at least in terms of the fights themselves. With the exception of the opening fight between bantamweights Irfan Khan and Kaushik Sen (freaking little guys, amiright Michael?), every fight was finished within the distance and impressively so. But no one, I repeat, no one, could top the knockout turned in by Bhabajeet Chowdhury, which was easily one of the most fantastic finishes we have seen all year.

Video after the jump. 


(This is normally where we would place a screencap of the fight. Unfortunately, the quality of SFL streams is so poor that the screencap looked more like a Jackson Pollock than it did anything else and no amount of enhancing could do it justice.) 

As you may or may not know given the plethora of fight action that occurred this past weekend, Indian upstart promotion Super Fight League held their fourth event in Mumbai, India. Now, we have been predicting the collapse of SFL for some time now (turns out we just had the wrong promotion) and when it was reported that CEO Ken Pavia had resigned from the organization, it only fueled similar predictions around the MMA blogosphere. Throw in the fact that SFL couldn’t even reel in Bob Sapp for their fourth event — which was headlined by a 1-2 fighter taking on a 11-8 fighter — and you’ve pretty much got all the ammunition you need for an official deathwatch.

But despite all of the things going against them, SFL’s fourth event turned out to be a modest success, at least in terms of the fights themselves. With the exception of the opening fight between bantamweights Irfan Khan and Kaushik Sen (freaking little guys, amiright Michael?), every fight was finished within the distance and impressively so. But no one, I repeat, no one, could top the knockout turned in by Bhabajeet Chowdhury, which was easily one of the most fantastic finishes we have seen all year.


(Fight starts at the 6 minute mark.)

Making his professional debut (!!!), the man we shall officially refer to as “Chowder” from here on out put on an absolute clinic against his fellow debuting counterpart in Charanjit Singh, battering his opponent’s legs with heavy kicks throughout the first round. But it was not until halfway through the second (roughly 14:55 of the video) that Chowder decided to finish his hapless foe off with a brilliantly timed spinning back kick to the jaw that was, dare I say it, Siver-esque in its delivery. Singh does his impersonation of a falling Jujube tree and this one is all over. Speaking of all over, it’s safe to say that Singh’s MMA career might be headed that direction as well. He would be carried out on a stretcher, but according to reports suffered no serious injuries other than his heart, which was ripped from his chest in ritualistic fashion later that evening. Shame.

Don’t get us wrong, SFL is more than likely going to be SOL by the end of the fiscal year, but if they can deliver a few more exciting knockouts like this in the future, perhaps the history books will grant them more than a footnote when all is said and done.

–J. Jones

Suddenly Back in Fighting Mode, Rampage Jackson Calls Out Glover Teixeira


(Heading into his bout at UFC 144, Jackson found strength in the words of his former Shaolin master: “Ret ra rage fro froo you.” Ten minutes later, this happened.)

Rampage Jackson’s ongoing feud with the UFC — which we feel so far removed from that we’ve all but completely forgotten what started it in the first place (money? boring fights? stank bref?) — has clearly taken a toll on both his popularity and his fighting career over the years, as Twitter rants and rape videos are wont to do. After getting submitted by Jon Jones at UFC 135, Jackson showed up heavy, then got wrestlefucked by Ryan Bader when we last saw him, in a performance that would quickly be out-shined (not in a good way) by his hilariously awkward foray into the Japanese hip hop scene later that evening. Needless to say, it appeared as if the power-bombing, Liddell era-ending Rampage we all came to know and love was but a distant memory.

Jackson was then expected to finally bid the UFC adieu at last weekend’s UFC 153 event against Brazilian slugger Glover Teixeira, but then yada yada yada he got injured. Teixeira would go on to beat the ever-loving dogshit out of Fabio Maldonado, whereas Jackson would go on to eat the ever loving shit out of some chili cheese FRITOS. But after consuming those heavenly bits of artificially flavored corn and realizing that Teixeira was in fact a legitimate opponent to build his post-UFC resume on, Jackson quickly doubled back on his “I don’t care who I fight anymore” mentality and proceeded to call Teixeira out on Twitter:

Yo @danawhite set up that fight with Glover please! Lets give him what he wants..fans I won’t let u down 

Dana White quickly responded with “sounds good bro,” which basically means that this thing is a done deal. Basically.


(Heading into his bout at UFC 144, Jackson found strength in the words of his former Shaolin master: “Ret ra rage fro froo you.” Ten minutes later, this happened.)

Rampage Jackson’s ongoing feud with the UFC — which we feel so far removed from that we’ve all but completely forgotten what started it in the first place (money? boring fights? stank bref?) — has clearly taken a toll on both his popularity and his fighting career over the years, as Twitter rants and rape videos are wont to do. After getting submitted by Jon Jones at UFC 135, Jackson showed up heavy, then got wrestlefucked by Ryan Bader when we last saw him, in a performance that would quickly be out-shined (not in a good way) by his hilariously awkward foray into the Japanese hip hop scene later that evening. Needless to say, it appeared as if the power-bombing, Liddell era-ending Rampage we all came to know and love was but a distant memory.

Jackson was then expected to finally bid the UFC adieu at last weekend’s UFC 153 event against Brazilian slugger Glover Teixeira, but then yada yada yada he got injured. Teixeira would go on to beat the ever-loving dogshit out of Fabio Maldonado, whereas Jackson would go on to eat the ever loving shit out of some chili cheese FRITOS. But after consuming those heavenly bits of artificially flavored corn and realizing that Teixeira was in fact a legitimate opponent to build his post-UFC resume on, Jackson quickly doubled back on his “I don’t care who I fight anymore” mentality and proceeded to call Teixeira out on Twitter:

Yo @danawhite set up that fight with Glover please! Lets give him what he wants..fans I won’t let u down #fightofthenight

Dana White quickly responded with “sounds good bro,” which basically means that this thing is a done deal. Basically.

As Glover stated in his post-fight interview, he would love the chance to face a “motivated” Rampage, who he considers to be one of his idols (Author’s note: Dude, we need to find you some better idols.), so it looks like the rematch we’ve all been kinda sorta waiting for is looming on the horizon once again. Yayyyy…..

We’re not going to delve into this any further until the fight is actually booked, but now that Glover has established himself as a fighter worthy of a big name, this matchup seems to make even more sense than it did before. Agree or disagree? And while we’re at it, who you got?

–J. Jones

Wha?!!: Jake Shields Suspended for Six Months Following Positive Test for Banned Substance at UFC 150


(We don’t mean to insinuate, but…) 

Before you even go there, no, Ambien is not a banned substance. At least not to our knowledge. But the truth is, not much has been revealed in the few hours since it was made public that Jake Shields was just suspended for six months after testing positive for a banned substance in his UFC 150 post-fight drug test. The situation is a bit bizarre to say the least, with no details currently available as to the alleged substance that Shields was busted for, or why it took two months for this test to be made public, or when the suspension was handed out. All that we know is that Shields’ has already released a statement apologizing for actions:

To my friends, fans and the UFC,

Prior to my professional bout at UFC 150 in Denver, Colorado, I used a substance prohibited by Colorado Boxing Commission rules.

This was a mistake that I fully regret. I have shared this issue with my family and the UFC and I have apologized to them and now I also apologize to you, the fans. I promise this will never occur again in my fighting career.

I accept the Boxing Commission’s decision for a six-month suspension, which will expire in February. I ask that you accept my apology. I will be back fighting soon, and hope that the fans of MMA will support me until that time.

Given Shields’ training partners, one might assume that the substance Shields was busted for would be of the herbal variety. You know, the sticky icky. Feeling irie on fight night, mon. Nawmsayin? Anyone?


(We don’t mean to insinuate, but…) 

Before you even go there, no, Ambien is not a banned substance. At least not to our knowledge. But the truth is, not much has been revealed in the few hours since it was made public that Jake Shields was just suspended for six months after testing positive for a banned substance in his UFC 150 post-fight drug test. The situation is a bit bizarre to say the least, with no details currently available as to the alleged substance that Shields was busted for, or why it took two months for this test to be made public, or when the suspension was handed out. All that we know is that Shields’ has already released a statement apologizing for actions:

To my friends, fans and the UFC,

Prior to my professional bout at UFC 150 in Denver, Colorado, I used a substance prohibited by Colorado Boxing Commission rules.

This was a mistake that I fully regret. I have shared this issue with my family and the UFC and I have apologized to them and now I also apologize to you, the fans. I promise this will never occur again in my fighting career.

I accept the Boxing Commission’s decision for a six-month suspension, which will expire in February. I ask that you accept my apology. I will be back fighting soon, and hope that the fans of MMA will support me until that time.

Given Shields’ training partners, one might assume that the substance Shields was busted for would be of the herbal variety. You know, the sticky icky. Feeling irie on fight night, mon. Nawmsayin? Anyone?

……..

Pot. I’m guessing Shields partook in a little of the doobage. Thanks for making me spell it out.

If you recall, Shields’ UFC 150 unanimous decision win over Ed Herman was his first fight at middleweight in nearly two years, so the likelihood of a diuretic being responsible for the test should be relatively low. Unless Shields decided to hop on the TRT bandwagon without informing the UFC (which, honestly, is a very possible scenario), all roads lead to Mary Jane here. Think about it, you’ve all been at a party where someone partook in stuff he/she clearly never normally do just to try and impress his/her friends. And peer pressure is a real bitch when your friends are two incoherent, ass-kicking, pothead delinquents like the Diaz brothers. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

We will have more on this story as details become available (and I stop rambling about the perils of youth). In the meantime, I can only offer Shields and you readers this one bit of advice.

Happy Friday, Potato Nation. Always remember to pass to the left. OK, that’s my last bit of advice.

–J. Jones

Strikeforce Cancels Second Straight Event, Deathwatch Not Even Necessary at This Point

Well, it’s official: The debate should no longer be about whether or not Strikeforce is headed for an early grave, but whether or not we should allow their lifeless corpse to continue resting in its vegetative state or simply pull the plug. Less than a month after cancelling their September 29th card due to injury, word has just broke that Strikeforce will also be cancelling their event scheduled for November 3rd in light of another slew of injuries.

We know the discussion of the injury curse is beyond old news at this point, but is anyone else still having trouble coming to terms with the pure scale of devastation it has wreaked on the sport in 2012? Even the UFC has been forced to, as BG put it, scrape the bottom of the matchmaking barrel for available fighters and they’ve poached upwards of half the fighters that Strikeforce previously had under their banner, to the point that one key injury could completely undo a card. Thank God the UFC would never be forced to resort to such drastic measures.

In either case, Strikeforce CEO Scott Coker was already looking to the future when discussing the second straight cancellation:

Due to a series of injuries, we were forced to cancel the upcoming card on Nov. 3, but are already working to put together a stacked card in January.

Yeah, Scott, we’re sure UFC 156 will be pretty great too.

Well, it’s official: The debate should no longer be about whether or not Strikeforce is headed for an early grave, but whether or not we should allow their lifeless corpse to continue resting in its vegetative state or simply pull the plug. Less than a month after cancelling their September 29th card due to injury, word has just broke that Strikeforce will also be cancelling their event scheduled for November 3rd in light of another slew of injuries.

We know the discussion of the injury curse is beyond old news at this point, but is anyone else still having trouble coming to terms with the pure scale of devastation it has wreaked on the sport in 2012? Even the UFC has been forced to, as BG put it, scrape the bottom of the matchmaking barrel for available fighters and they’ve poached upwards of half the fighters that Strikeforce previously had under their banner, to the point that one key injury could completely undo a card. Thank God the UFC would never be forced to resort to such drastic measures.

In either case, Strikeforce CEO Scott Coker was already looking to the future when discussing the second straight cancellation:

Due to a series of injuries, we were forced to cancel the upcoming card on Nov. 3, but are already working to put together a stacked card in January.

Yeah, Scott, we’re sure UFC 156 will be pretty great too.

As you are likely very well aware of, the November 3rd event was supposed to be Daniel Cormier’s last fight under his Strikeforce contract. Unfortunately, the newly-crowned HW champ (among other fighters on the card), was not even made aware of this cancellation until the news was public knowledge.

Via Ariel Helwani’s Twitter: “I just spoke to @dc_mma about today’s news, and guess what? He had no idea. Incredible. His quotes coming to @MMAFightingshortly.”

Via Tim Kennedy’s Twitter: “Thank you @Strikeforce for letting me read about my flight being canceled on the Internet. I was 9 weeks into my fight camp. Awesome!”

Via Cormier’s Twitter: “Very sad about not fighting but at the end of the day something positive will come from it. More time to train. I am with a good company…”

Cormier spoke with Helwani shortly after being surprised with the news, and was slightly less empathetic to his soon to be former employers:

I wish somebody would have told me something. This is unbelievable. I’m very upset. I just want to be informed. That’s all. I don’t think that’s asking for too much.

No, Daniel, it wouldn’t be asking too much. Just like asking a sinking promotion that is holding some of the world’s best fighters to end their charade once and for all doesn’t seem like too much to ask either. But life has a way of complicating things.

So there you have it: Strikeforce is dead, and Vaudeville’s the box they’re gonna bury it in. The only question that remains is: How long do you give it? January? March? DARE WE SAY APRIL?

–J. Jones